+12 The older I get, the more I realize, most adults are not actually adults. amirite?

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Oh no, baby boy, they're adults; it just turns out adulthood is kindergarten plus more consequential punishments. Sadly, those typically get levied at the most "adult" of us, and the baboons reap the rewards.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Suddenly caring about an issue because it now affects you isn't maturing

by Anonymous 1 month ago

It no longer affects me, but now I have the experience of what it feels like to be in that position. Without being in that position, I can intellectually understand what the issue is, and how it can be resolved, but without actually being in it, I can't know what it's actually like.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

You're literally just describing the concept of empathy.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Yes it appears you are correct

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

I feel like you can't be mature without being empathetic

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

I mean to be fair, it is the experience that has allowed you perspective to change your opinion on things. Often adults will just not learn by their mistakes or experiences you are growing as a person , they may not be

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Agreed! After typing this, I think reflection is what makes people mature.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Perspective. Alot of people are unable to think about things outside of their self. Ego gets in the way

by Elittel 1 month ago

Yes! Perspective. That's the word I've been looking for lol

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Try this one on Introspection

by Elittel 1 month ago

Your last 2 paragraphs have nothing to do with people not being adults.

by Fpfeffer 1 month ago

Also, how is this an unpopular opinion? Most people I know would agree with the sentence that most adults are immature

by Alternative_Award 1 month ago

I meant maturity lol

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

You are being clowned. This is entertaining bless you

by Anonymous 1 month ago

So you not being offended makes you a psycho 🤔 i mean no disrespect. Maybe it just makes you big ballz tough?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

LOL no I just know I'm still immature, and wrong about a lot of stuff. So much stuff.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Yes that might have been the wrong word to use for trolls lol

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Adults are not mature

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

I got that. But the last 2 have nothing to do with being mature

by Fpfeffer 1 month ago

I think empathy is a pillar to maturity. I don't think you can be mature without being empathetic. Having empathy for other peoples experience as humans is one of the most important things to being a mature adult. To give you an example, my brother believes that people who beg on the streets are lower than scum. He does not know; nor does he care, that some people have silent disabilities. Dysautonomia and the sorts. To him, because my mom and dad have given him everything he's ever wanted, he has zero idea what it's like to be a beggar on the side of the road. To not be able to work due to an underlying health condition. In my opinion, because of that, brother is 37, but has the mind of a teenage boy.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

I'd go with emotional intelligence is a sign of maturity rather than empathy which is a component of it. People can have empathy but not be mature. However, mature people typically are emotionally intelligent. That includes clear communication, setting boundaries, compassion, reacting proportionately, not owning the emotions and reactions of others but recognizing the impact of words, etc.

by ahamill 1 month ago

He's explaining that hardships make you grow up. Then he explained his hardship that made him realize how serious being an adult is. Being an adult is being responsible for yourself and its not always fair.

by Renneramie 1 month ago

For real. I've seen so many children with more common sense than adults. So many.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

RemindMe! 30 years

by Hot-Awareness8888 1 month ago

LOL!

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Agreed! These kids are just so promising though. I see my nephew stand up for human rights at the age of seven and I'm like "Dude. When I was your age I didn't even know how war worked. Or what gay people even were."

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

My brother is Gen Z and he's only 13 years old. How could he already F***d up the whole world?

by ytoy 1 month ago

Oh. I forgot 13 year olds are gen Z. Thank you! I stupidly associate gen z with people ages 27 to 18 lol

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

it sounds you've attached qualities to your definition of adult that don't really fit immaturity, inexperience, and lack of perspective are all natural aspects of adulthood, and contending with these shortcomings is part of being an adult

by friesenkarolann 1 month ago

Love this. Agreed. I think I should have written "most adults are not mature"

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

I think that lack of experience in things doesn't make someone not an adult, just insulated from the experience. I feel like maturity is more about listening and understanding than it is the actual experience. An experienced person can still be immature and not understand why someone doesn't understand their perspective, when that understanding could only be gained by experience/learning. A mature person would be able to show empathy without fully understanding a situation and even provide motivation or good advice by listening and learning to understand that perspective.

by Routine_Mulberry 1 month ago

When you put it that way, I completely agree.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

i may grow old but i'll never grow up.

by mbernhard 1 month ago

A youthful spirit is good. I think having a youthful spirit is what keeps the world going. But the moment you start being jaded towards your children, or people in less fortunate positions than you? That's when it's an issue.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Agreed! Heavily agreed. You guys have brought up a really good point, that maturity comes from the ability to empathize with others and reflect. I think it was naive of me to say that you HAVE to suffer.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Adult children everywhere.

by Aditya66 1 month ago

It's just kids having kids that have more kids that make more kids.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

This is not unpopular. We all know we all fake it till we make it, no one is really adult, we just try our best.

by Apprehensive-Low 1 month ago

The only mature people I know are in their late 60s and early 70s lol

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Thank you!

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Coworker of mine is pretty devout Christian. Had a falling out with a good friend. Said friend wanted to apologize and make up. Coworker gave her the cold shoulder. Witnessing it was pretty sad.

by Qgutkowski 1 month ago

Sounds like your friend is better off!

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

There is no manual to life. Adults are just faking it until they make it. Or until they die. We're always one step away from figuring it all out or having it all just come crashing down on us.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

There is a big difference between "adult" and "mature" person. All adults are adults by definition. What varies is the level of maturity. And being mature is waaaay more complex than you are making it out to be.

by Mysterious-Taste4611 1 month ago

Its morr fun that way the 60+ people i work with can still be childish

by Anonymous 1 month ago

LOL

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

I agree wholeheartedly. I know someone who is 52 and a toddler. Narcissistic deranged idiot.

by Right-Physics 1 month ago

It's the worst

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Do go on…

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

I agree with this. It's hard to describe. Suffering is one way we grow and mature. It opens your eyes to other peoples suffering. Flaws in the system we have in place that need improvements. People who don't experience suffering are like children in that they live in a world without hurt. Suffering = wisdom. wisdom is only gained through experience.

by Annadooley 1 month ago

I have a chronic illness called chiari malformation. While people my age worry about surface level problems like their packages not coming on time, the long work week, their hair frizzing when it rains.. I worry about blindness, deafness, paralysis and death. Being in this situation humbles you and makes you appreciate whats really important. THAT is wisdom. That is growing up.

by Annadooley 1 month ago

Yeahp! I'm on the same boat. Im so sorry that you have to go through that by the way.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Beautifully said! Agreed.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

What does "adult" mean? I feel like I felt when I was 20. I'm still me. My body just got older, fatter and weaker.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Ok, what does "mature" mean? To be scared of death?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

No that's an oversimplification. I think maturity is being able to be independent, and to be emotionally intelligent. Along with other components, but so far those are the two biggest ones I could think of.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Independent in what way? From your parents? From your employer? Because you're never really independent. What does "emotionally intelligent" mean? I'm being pedantic because it sounds like you've defined adulthood by some assumptions you've had when you were younger. Now you're seeing that your assumptions have been wrong, without realizing it was just your assumptions that failed you. So instead of re-evaluating your assumptions, you simply call adults "not actually adults".

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I appreciate you saying that! I agree.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Ooo. How do I sound like an uneducated teenager? Let me know, I'd love to hear how I can improve my writing style. I think most people view themselves as more mature than they really are.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Adult men, men over 25 years old, are nothing more than teenagers in full grown male bodies. And this never changes. Their bodies just keep getting older but they are essentially still teenagers.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I think that there are some exceptions, I have a few mentors that I would consider to be very wise and mature. But they're in their 60s and 70s.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Welcome to reality. We are all just kids trying to learn from experiences in order to make decisions. Your parents had no idea how to take care of u, the winged it

by joel50 1 month ago

I think that's an issue. People shouldn't just be winging raising children lol It's a whole human

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

There isn't a instruction manual on this stuff

by joel50 1 month ago

Hmmm.. Maybe it's just me, but gentle parenting seems to be really on the money.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

I'm not sure if you are saying gentle parenting is a good or bad thing

by dolly73 1 month ago

I think it's a good thing

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

This does not apply to everyone, but I believe it produces spoilt kids who have to be begged, I wasn't raised gently and I didn't appreciate it at the time...infact I used to be envious of other kids who were, but now I am more grateful that I was raised with an iron fist, most of the kids who had gentle parenting ended up having a very bad undesirable life compared to me and others who didn't have it so easy. So to me gentle parenting is destructive to kids and it only makes parent feel good about themselves

by dolly73 1 month ago

I disagree. Did your parents beat and yell at you with zero explanation?

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

That's an opinion. Every kid is different.

by joel50 1 month ago

So you just learned what empathy is at 27 because suddenly something affected you?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

No, empathy is intellectually understanding something. Like knowing what water is. Being in the water, is a whole other thing. You can think you know what being in the water is like, but until you are in it, you don't.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

How would you define empathy?

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Understanding and sharing the feelings of others. Which is what it is. Most people don't need to have had the problem affect them directly to have empathy.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

What I mean is, you can have empathy for things that you haven't experienced. I can empathize with someone who has a terminal illness. But I can't get the lessons from it just because I'm empathizing with it. I can THINK I'm getting the lessons from it, but they're just shallow assumptions of what it's like to be in that position.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Well now you're closer I guess.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

It sounds like you think you're mature and everyone around you isn't, and the reason is because you've had some tough experiences. Personally I've found that those don't correlate at all - I know people in their 30s that have had difficult life experiences but are emotionally stuck at the age of when they had those experiences, usually during their teenage years. Trauma for some people will prevent them from developing emotional maturity. That means their emotional response to adversity will be at the level of that particular age. And your emotional response is what determines your maturity level.

by Financial-Bite 1 month ago

/trueonyourchest

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I suppose it depends on how you define maturity. As an example, for me personally, I have always viewed maturity as being not so much what you have experienced, but more so your outlook on life and the world and the way you handle different situations etc. which, whilst this can be determined by your experiences, it doesn't necessarily mean they have to be bad ones or an abundance of to be mature and can be determined by a variety of different factors as well. As a basic example, a child may throw a tantrum if they don't get something they want, meanwhile a mature adult understands we can't always get what we want, or we have to work for what we want etc. This is why some adults that still throw 'tantrums' may be considered immature, regardless of their experiences in life.

by Fair-Piccolo 1 month ago

LOOL

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

What makes people mature is having a loving stable home life, the ability to fail when young, a strong support system, and reasonable boundaries set and explained from a young age. What you have described is not maturity, it's empathy, which given the fore-mentioned things is developed young leading to maturity later on if life.

by Adventurous_Pop 1 month ago

yeah there's a lot of callous assholes out there that relish in making the people around them miserable

by Anonymous 1 month ago

It's crazy out here lol

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

Is this an unpopular opinion?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Yeah! Good for you for thinking it isn't. Lots of people think that because they're above 30, that they are mature lol

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago

What is your definition of mature or being an adult? Because I don't see how the first paragraph relates to the last two to be honest.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I think that a mature adult has gone through hardship and is able to reflect on it. I might be wrong, but to me, wisdom comes from actually being in the trenches, rather than intellectually understanding things.

by AlternativeLow 1 month ago