Just because someone's bad at texting doesn't mean they don't care about you, amirite?

*To the tune of We Didn't Start the Fire* Texting, Cheating, Bidets, Antisocial shutins

by Holiday-Purple 3 months ago

What about bidets?

by Devynbarton 3 months ago

Better to bidet than bidont

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Y'all got creme soda?

by Pebert 3 months ago

I depends on the person. But there's a difference between "being bad at texting" and just flat out ignoring people. If I send you a message and you read it and don't respond for weeks- or ever- that's not being "bad at texting". Especially when it happens again and again and again and again and again and again... and you tell that person about it, and they still do nothing to change, and they continue to ignore you... yeah, it kinda means, maybe not that they don't care, but you're certainly not a priority to them. If you were, they'd make it a point to get back to you in a timely manner. It doesn't have to be immediate, but within a few days. I get people are busy and don't always have time to respond, but when it happens constantly and there's no change even when it's brought to their attention... yeah, it kinda means they don't care to change things because you aren't important or enough of a priority to them to do so. If they did care, they wouldn't just leave you hanging, they wouldn't constantly continue this behavior knowing it's hurting you. Especially if that person knows that not responding is hurtful to the other person. A lack of communication does, in most cases, signify a lack of interest. Speaking from experience. Dealing with it right now.

by TrainingAd 3 months ago

Counterpoint: when you don't make an effort, you lose things.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I feel like this would refer more to being there for a friend when it matters. Not so much replying to texts ASAP every single text. If it's important call

by Anonymous 3 months ago

A friendship is like a houseplant? If you don't tend to it, it dies?

by AgreeableCut3128 3 months ago

Yes

by Anonymous 3 months ago

That's fine but a lack of communication does coincide with a lack of interest.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Not necessarily, sometimes it is just poor communicating/social anxiety. How you express/communicate doesnt always fully represent how you feel

by Anonymous 3 months ago

People don't know how you feel. They can only infer it from your actions. If you don't make an effort, you lose things. It's an intent vs impact situation.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Not arguing otherwise, that is true but it is still also true that often times people are not good at expressing how they feel

by Anonymous 3 months ago

People don't want perfection. They want accountability. Are we conflating reaching out to friends with texting With communicating With expressing feelings in a "good" way? If you don't reach out, people move on. Period.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I think we're having two different conversations here. I'm not disagreeing with any of that or saying you are obligated to be friends with someone who is a bad texter For the person who is feeling rejected or abandoned by their friends because of their communication- it's understandable why they feel that way and why they would pull away from that friendship if that friendship is causing stress and not meeting their social needs For the people who are bad at texting- there are a plethora of reasons as to why someone may not be a good texter or may not be good at communicating themselves generally, but I think it's incorrect to assume that how people communicate always is a perfect reflection of how they feel inside. Also I think its important to remember that texting is one part of an overall bigger picture. Do they make time for you in person? Is it just casual conversation they fail with over text or are they there when you are in a time of need? When you spend time do you feel they are present? I just don't think its fair or accurate to paint everyone who doesn't like or is bad with texting with the same brush

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Nobody is saying that. Communication is a skill not a condition. You can learn to be better so you're a better friend. By not communicating, you're pushing all emotional labor to the other party and they'll end up resenting you. People can't and won't brainstorm your reasons for not communicating. You're assuming they are. People will just focus on those who value them.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Ok

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Blud just wants to argue over something hahaha

by Anonymous 3 months ago

This is such a problem for me, I'll ghost people instead of saying no.

by Emergency_Visit 3 months ago

Yeah and when I've been dating ha, just saying this as a guy, any woman who does that incredibly basic ticking off the boxes routine makes me think and here's another one. I dint need drama, my life is full of that, but have some conversatin skills at least

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I think dating is a bit of a different conversation than communication between friends or family

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Yeah a lot of people treat it like an extended job interview. "Where do you see yourself in c years?" Those people are boring.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I reply late when that person isn't a super priority. But when it's someone I'm dating or relationships you best believe I'm replying the moment I see it or within minutes.

by Sure-Bike 3 months ago

This is the answer. Some of us have lives. If its urgent then use your phone like a phone and call me. Texts can wait until I get to it.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

In other words, when you don't care about them. I'm the same. That's why I assume that those who don't text me back don't care either.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Or they mean, I enjoy the benefits you bring me, but I don't care enough to do anything to maintain a relationship, so please keep benefitting me because I do enjoy you, I just don't want to make any effort And they somehow conflate their enjoyment of the person with them caring about the person

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I think its a narcissist trait. Usually from people who are all take and no give, who are never curious about others wants or needs, who only ever consider how a thing impacts them and never how it impacts the people they claim to care about and will, at every opportunity, leave you with less so they can have more, even if they have plenty, and you don't have enough

by Anonymous 3 months ago

To show his SO that he isn't a weirdo

by Anonymous 3 months ago

If someone wants to be there for you, which implies being proactively in touch, they will. If they don't, they won't and find excuses to justify it.

by Affectionate-Bar 3 months ago

Bit of a black or white take, different people show you they care or that they're there for you in different ways. Just because they are not good at holding casual conversation over text doesn't exactly mean that, in times of need, they won't be there if you teach out

by Anonymous 3 months ago

But do you also see this person in real life? I hate texting, it makes me anxious, but I spend real time in person with people I care about. I frequently travel back home to my home country to spend quality time with my friends and family at home but only text or call infrequently. If I'm spending my money and limited time off my job and am catching flights to make time for these people in my life is that not an indication that I care about them? Look at the bigger picture and don't paint everyone with the same brush. Some people are bad at texting because they aren't that invested in you but you can't project that on to every single individual who struggles with it

by Anonymous 3 months ago

No one is bad at texting. They read the text and chose not to respond. That being said, us having our phones on us all the time does not obligate anyone to answer calls or texts. The people trying to contact you don't own your time.

by mariah92 3 months ago

Not everyone keeps their phones on them all the time. I generally check mine maybe twice a day at work, then leave it on the counter with my keys at home and will get up to answer calls if I'm not busy doing something else.

by Ambitious_Reality940 3 months ago

No one is bad at texting. They read the text and chose not to respond. I disagree completely, it is really easy to develop habits that cause people to be a "bad texter" If you frequently check your phone when you're in the middle of something and don't have time to formulate a reply to someone. This makes it very easy to read it, think you'll reply when you have time, and then completely forget that you were texted in the first place. If you have to set your phone to silent at work and then don't realize you can have your phone automatically come back on sound/vibrate once you leave work then it can make it easy to forget to turn your phone back on sound when you leave work. If you have too many apps that don't have notifications turned off it is really easy to completely miss a text because of all the other junk notifying you from your phone. If you don't keep your phone close to you regularly and don't check it very often, this will cause you to miss replies. All of the above are causes for people to call you a "bad texter." and are all pretty normal habits of a lot of people.

by ProgrammerFit 3 months ago

Ah, people who are trying to normalize poor etiquette/inconsiderate behavior yet again

by Anonymous 3 months ago

It shouldn't be shocking to you though that effort and attention are seen as signs of caring, and thus not doing those is seen as a sign of not caring.

by Framimaci 3 months ago

How can you be "bad" at texting beyond just how good or bad you are at communicating in general? Is that about the stupid "Do you text line by line or all at once" thing the internet pretends is a thing anyone cares about?

by Holiday-Purple 3 months ago

Not replying for extended periods of time. Ppl don't really agree abt what this means though - like should you be able to expect a reply within an hour, six hours, at some point in the day, over multiple days??

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I'm a much worse texter than I am in face to face conversations. I misinterpret things way more often because of a lack of body language and tone, I find it significantly more emotionally draining than having a conversation, and I find it easy to just forget to text people back. It's pretty impossible to just forget to respond to someone in conversation. Also when I'm texting someone I find it significantly harder to recall information about the person I'm talking to because I'm not being reminded of those things by their presence. In real life I can bring up obscure memories fairly easily, but in text it often feels like I'm speaking to them for the first time. I can't remember the last time I felt insecure talking to someone in person, but in text I feel insecure constantly because my brain over-analyzes insignificant details like time since last message. Speaking and texting are very different forms of communication that require entirely different sets of skills.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Social anxiety brother. My social anxiety mainly manifests in having to talk on the phone/message, but not as socially anxious speaking to people irl. It's hard to explain exactly why this is. I think it's because I am more scared of being misinterpreted through these digital forms of communication as a lot of communication is expressed through things like facial expressions, body language etc. What happens is I get a few messages and get anxious at the idea of responding to them so put it off until I'm in a better headspace but then the task gets more daunting because more messages build up and then a day turns u to a week and then two weeks and then you just feel super guilty and worried they won't even want a response from you anymore because they're mad you didn't respond in a timely manner. I think communication is a very broad scope and you can be good at communicating in one context but not great in another, good with some people but guarded eith others etc. I think I am generally good at communicating and being open but that is definetly an area where my communication slacks because of my anxiety holding me back

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Same, a lot of my best friends and I will go weeks to months without touching base or anything more serious than a few memes now that we're all over the country. But we'll connect and plan a phone call eventually and chop it up for 90 minutes that passes like 10 minutes. I can't do the "I expect a response to something not urgent within a day, 2 days max" people. Just a difference of values and life priorities.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Yeah I really agree esp with that last bit- we all show our love differently and have different expectations and preferences when it comes to friendships. Not everyone had to be mates, it's okay to just accept that two people may just not be compatible in that way and no one is in the wrong. I just wish more people could be understanding that we're all different and just because you may not relate or prefer how someone's brain works doesnt mean they are doing something wrong or that they're lying about how they feel and operate

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Only time line by line is annoying, if I'm trying to do something on my phone while also texting, or if I'm concentrating and it keeps making my phone vibrate. Other than that idc

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I think the actual "problem" is that we've got so used to instant messaging from everywhere, every time, to everyone, that we expect everybody to be always available on demand.

by Kyleigh02 3 months ago

This is cope, to get away with poor communication habits

by Anonymous 3 months ago

For real. I have friends who are bad at texting, but they just call me regularly instead. Not leave me hanging

by ben47 3 months ago

Yeah. My main reason for being a "poor texter" is just not seeing the messages but the second I see it there's an immediate answer and if it was a very extended period of time an apology for not seeing the message for a long while

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I am bad at texting, because of this. I will answer all day but after half an hour of boring texting (most texting is boring to me) I am sending you 1-5 word answers lol. I spent enough time texting constantly in high school and the years that follow to still do it now.

by Grouchy-Butterfly 3 months ago

Some of us work & have hobbies that involve interacting IRL. Will I spend hours texting someone a day? No. Will I schedule in person hand outs regularly? Absolutely. I hate that texting is now the ultimate standard for interest it seems 🙄

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Agree completely. Texting is exhausting and I would much rather talk irl. It's hard for me to reply to texts and whatnot. But, you also have to make sure that this isn't an excuse to cut contact. If you're not texting then you should make other times to talk and interact with the person. Not texting is fine. Going radio silent is something else.

by ResponsibilityNo 3 months ago

I went from being a great texter to a "bad" one when I had my baby. Aka I went from having tons of free time to none 😂 the only person, besides my mom and husband, that i text regularly is my best friend. We talk primarily through snap chat, but that makes it hard to remember to message her back because I can't see what she's actually saying until I open the message. I forget to look a lot of the time and leave her on delivered for sometimes days before I remember to look 😭

by Anonymous 3 months ago

there's a difference between being busy, and simply not texting back someone because they aren't important to you. My ex and i broke up bc i was sick of her saying she was busy and couldn't text me when she'd spent the whole day (sometimes several in a row) playing video games or doom scrolling. it's okay to be busy and forget to text someone back, it is rude and inconsiderate to purposefully ignore someone (especially your partner)

by ferrysantiago 3 months ago

I completely agree :( my ex was exactly like that. He would ignore my calls and texts because he was smoking with his friends. He prioritized them over me (he literally told me they were more important than me) There's definitely a big difference

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I'm a small business owner and use my personal phone for it/don't respond to nonurgent personal messages during work hours, so occasionally, personal messages get lost in the deluge of work texts I get sometimes. I go through every few days to make sure I catch up on anything I missed, but I don't view text messages as needing an immediate response. It doesn't mean I don't care about people!

by leschantonia 3 months ago

Nah they just don't care about you, being bad at texting isn't a thing it isn't hard. It only becomes hard when you're texting someone you don't really like

by Anonymous 3 months ago

What does it mean they are bad at texting? Can they write? Then they can respond, within a reasonable timeframe that matches the closeness of the relationship.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

No one us bad at texting, they just don't care.

by Massive-Impress-9214 3 months ago

Counterpoint: Nobody can be "bad at texting"

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I agree. Personally, I am at home basically 24/7 because of some physical issues I have so I don't text people a lot because nothing really goes on in my life but I tell them to let me know if they need or just want to talk. A lot of people I consider friends or family don't keep in touch with me and blame it on me not checking in, but I do call or text when I have something to talk about, which is all I really expect from them. I've had to find out my dad had strokes and heart attacks, my nieces and nephews have had birthdays or surgeries or something and all of them MONTHS later then they get mad at me when I'm upset they didn't let me know.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

So what's the option if someone rarely responds? Either assume they're not that interested and back off or keep messaging. If your primary form of communication with someone is messaging and they rarely repond, they're just not that interested. If they were, they'd make the effort to respond, call you, or arrange to meet. It's pretty simple.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

No one is "bad at texting." Either they wanted to respond to your text, or they didn't.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Texting is just a poor way to communicate most things. It's fine for setting appointments or times, or basic yes or no simple questions. People using it to replace normal conversation causes these problems because it can't properly replace normal conversation in most cases. The vast majority of people aren't award winning authors with the ability to convey emotion and nuance through the written word.

by Ambitious_Reality940 3 months ago

Nothing is that black or white idk why people are failing at approaching this with any nuance Some times is a case of lack of interest but sometimes it's not. It's obviously not something YOU personally struggle with or can relate to but a lot of people get social anxiety around texting and overthink how your texts are going to be intrepreted to the point texting becomes a massive headache and stress. I way rather just spend quality time with someone in real life or facetime because then they can see my facial expressions/body language/hear my tone if voice etc. And much less chance of being misinterpreted or misinterpreting

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Imagine if your friend you are taking to just goes away in the middle of the conversation and then comes to your doorstep 3 weeks later talking to you again for 5 mins and then goes away again. That's how it feels. You have a smartphone, just type something, even if it's just "I prefer a phone call"

by Shoddy_Combination 3 months ago

I know what it's like to have someone not text back for ages lol, the majority of my friends are not texters. Personally, I prefer real life communication because its more authentic, more enjoyable and less prone to misinterpretion so I don't care. They make time for me and show me they care by being there in real life and being there when I really need them I am the same with them

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Ya and why would anyone text that? Anything urgent is at least a phone call. It would have to be a really weird one in a million situation that would be an emergency text, and if that's the case you better text the police not me.

by Ambitious_Reality940 3 months ago

You can't be bad at texting. You see a message. You answer it. Pretty simple. If you have time to read the message, then hit jess time to answer. You can be bad at holding a conversation, tho.

by Jpouros 3 months ago

It's nice that you don't have social anxiety when it comes to texting but because you don't understand exactly what it is that people find difficult about it or can relate your conclusion is a bit of a misguided assumption

by Anonymous 3 months ago

that isn't true for everyone though. I can easily spend 15 minutes or more formulating a text in order to ensure that what I say and how I say it is exactly what I want to say. And texts majorly disrupt me from whatever I am doing, like working, so I keep my phone on do-not-disturb when I am busy, so then at the end of the day I'll have 15 texst and no mental bandwidth to deal with any of them. I'll go hours to days before answering some texts. But it's not an issue because my friends are at the same. The only exceptions are husband/kids.

by Past_Joke3143 3 months ago

Not knowing what to say or how to word it. That's not a texting issue. That's a communication issue. Not wanting to talk to people. That's not a texting issue. That's a personal issue that you don't want to talk to people.

by Jpouros 3 months ago

It's not a preferece, it's an inability to task switch that way. It's not a "I don't want to answer that person" it's a "If I pick up my phone to text I will struggle to get back to the more important task of working." Not everything people struggle with is a result of preferences but anxiety, capacity issues, among other things. Not everyone likes the feeling of needing to be available to answer phone/texts all day every day and we shouldn't feel pressured to do so. Not everyone can task switch or multi-task effectively and it doesn't make them a bad person/friend/whatever.

by Past_Joke3143 3 months ago

Someone who has a job and can't text all day is not a bad texter. It means that they are bust working.

by Jpouros 3 months ago

I'd say unless you simply forget which I do all the time, you probably don't care enough about that person to answer back. I expect an answer in 2-4 days. At the same time when people I like text me they tend to get a fast reply. People I don't care for get slower reply because I don't really care or not as comfortable talking to them.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Possibly, about 5% of the time

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I love my friend but they are super needy when they have free time. I am flattered but sometimes I just don't respond because explaining that I am free,but need space feels bad. So I just don't respond to appear busy.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I think it depends some people are "bad at texting" because they couldn't care less about you but some are "bad at texting" because they get overwhelmed easily and find it it difficult to keep up with all their relationships. I totally get the ladder and rarely tolerate the first.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Yall have self esteem issues

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I reply immediately if a text is not important, but if it is from someone I care about I will think they deserve a considered response and then I will procrastinate that and then weeks/months/years pass

by Bransonsanford 3 months ago

This is me, I care so much about my friends but I'm just not good at texting and so I get misunderstood quite often

by Anonymous 3 months ago

It depends, communication is key. If someone explains to you that, due to their ADHD or anxiety, they struggle to respond consistently, and may need prompting, that's very different to someone completely ghosting you.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

As a dude though I have no choice but to back up. Clingy, creeper, no self respect are all things you have you avoid or other potential partners could take note and your chances with them decreases.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

My take is, if you get a text, just reply, while you're reading so you don't forget. A simple "yes', "not really", "that's great" is enough. It just seems to be common courtesy. Would you completely ignore a person asking a question standing right in front of you? Texts don't have to be full blown conversations. Sometimes a simple "Ok" is good enough

by Green-Bar 3 months ago

If you dont ask a question I don't need to reply. Should I just send eggplants to let you know I got it? A month ago my friend asked why I hadn't responded from yesterday. About that time my phone pinged and I got the text . Some ,20 hrs later.

by Shyanne74 3 months ago

I've had more than 1 person drop out of my life because I was the only one making contact.m sometimes you gotta let them go.

by Shyanne74 3 months ago

If something is important just call me, not complicated

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Nah, it's just rude

by Anonymous 3 months ago

What's rude is to assume people have no life and nothing to do but await your text by their phone.

by Anonymous 3 months ago

It's just the ADHD paralysis, my friend. I just can't physically do things sometimes and then it gets awkward that I haven't responded to a text in a couple days and it's like how appropriate is it to respond weeks later because time isn't real? My actual irl friends know I'm like this so they don't care, but I feel bad for my online friends that are left waiting... But the more the messages pile up, the less I'm likely to answer them bc idk how to start at that point lol. Like I went to Comicon and made a bunch of friends but now I have 20 messages waiting for me on IG...

by Anonymous 3 months ago

How as a person can you be bad at texting in today's age when most people communicate via them. Idk, ive seen this argument a few times and I just cant not call em lazy or irresponsible, since honestly how do you not remember to do something that literally notifies you the second it happens? Im salty cuz I got a friend like this and will justify not responsing for weeks cuz he is bad at texting

by Smithammariela 3 months ago

If they cared, they'd respond

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Very true

by Anonymous 3 months ago

I care about people I know but I am so bad at conversations that I can't help but reply "Ok". I don't know if I should share my own experiences (they might not care and leave me on read) or ask a question (they might ignore me) or what

by Primary_Toe9344 3 months ago

Yeah but theres other methods of communication like facetime, calling, etc. but what if they don't do anything. It takes one minute to respond to a text of "hey want to hang out Saturday". Or "do you want to chat on Tuesday " like if you always have your phone on you but you forget all the time idk bro

by Anonymous 3 months ago

You're not 'bad at texting'. You're lazy and or inconsiderate that there is somebody else on the other side of the phone.

by Electrical_Rip9798 3 months ago