Homewreckers are not given enough crap by society, amirite?

Homewreckers absolutely deserve to be vilified, but the brunt of the blame should always fall on the cheater.

by Specialist-Buddy 1 year ago

Yeah I think the OP's opinion is actually rather popular offline. A lot of people would rather blame the affair partner rather than the cheater, as if they cast a spell and forced someone in a relationship to cheat.

by Neat-Ad 1 year ago

I agree to an extent, however, I still think the brunt goes to the cheater. Even if the other person is aware the cheater is in a relationship, they're not the ones who made a commitment.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Truth!!

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It could be a power thing too, since homewreckers usually have something the person being cheated doesn't have which attracts the cheater enough to cheat.

by Paulakiehn 1 year ago

No, the brunt of the blame should be equal between the cheater and the home wrecker.

by roxanecummings 1 year ago

Not if they know what they're walking into, in that case I'd say equal blame

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The cheater is not a victim.

by AdSpirited 1 year ago

Agreed. But the homewrecker is never blameless. Just not nearly as much at fault as the cheater.

by heavenwitting 1 year ago

Well I wouldn't call someone who didn't know their boyfriend/ girlfriend was in a relationship a home wrecker. They're a victim as much as the cheater's partner is. I'm specifically referring to people who know about their partner's relationship as homewreckers. It'd be wrong to lump them all together.

by heavenwitting 1 year ago

Fair, but traditionally the other person involved in cheating is considered a home wrecker by society at large.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

She sounds like a cheater to me who is responsible for her own actions

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Its situational, in that case he was clearly targeting her knowing she was with someone already and should take far more blame.

by No_Recipe_1721 1 year ago

Was he? Your proof is entirely a rando on the internet just insisting that the guy was a predator but not giving any details on how this predation occurred. From their story, the cheater still made a choice.

by Neat-Ad 1 year ago

no

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Nah

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Could be

by WolfSweaty8322 1 year ago

How?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

No relationship is as good as you think it is if one of the people sleep with someone else. You're putting it like some master manipulator can hypnotize himself into some ass or something. No type of person is going to be able to sway a faithful person in an honest relationship to sleep with them.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

i don't get why they can't just divorce or break up first before dating someone else. i don't get why they have to be in a relationship with two different people at once. it either tells me that they're indecisive or just too coward of a person to tell the truth

by Anonymous 1 year ago

A lot of the time the excitement of that social relationship comes from the fact that they could get caught fooling around, usually after the actual relationship ends the cheater also drops the cheatee.

by Huelrudy 1 year ago

Life is filled with grey areas... this is one of them

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Exactly. I literally can't imagine my partner even being aware of it if a woman hit on him, and it wouldn''t matter how "hot" she is . He only has eyes for me, and just in terms of time/energy, would rather be on the couch watching old Frasiers with me, than getting all nekkid and awkward with some rando LMAO.

by Ok-Formal434 1 year ago

It sure would be great if life truly were as black and white as this thinking.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

If your partner betrays your trust then they aren't your partner… pretty simple

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Cheaters are cheaters.

by Jkreiger 1 year ago

Homewreckers are given plenty of hate by society.

by kkeebler 1 year ago

Often more-so than the cheating spouse.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That's a good point…

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Does op think the name "Homewrecker" is a complement?

by mckennakunde 1 year ago

Your title suggests that they should be judged more severely for their behaviour, which is fair. But your explanation suggests that you think that they should share the responsibility with a cheating spouse for the marriage ending. Unless there was some sort of drugging going on, that blame seems mis placed.

by Fuzzy-Tooth2362 1 year ago

he is blaming for psychological manipulation

by Cool_Pound 1 year ago

Yeah, where I live people judge it pretty harsh.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Even the best security systems can fail, similarly even the strongest relationships can breakdown

by bradleyschumm 1 year ago

This one I disagree because cheating is voluntary, it is a decision. The equivalent is an OnlyFan sands you nudes and you actively give them bank info. Yes, I get it, people are vulnerable emotionally at times, but, it is still a "decision".

by Anonymous 1 year ago

People lose money to IRS fraud all the time, someone with a phone can trick you into giving them money. Most people do not fall for these scams but at the end of the day, the people who do also choose to make a "decision" to send money.

by bradleyschumm 1 year ago

How can you be scammed to cheat?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Thats not the definition of strongest. Weak relationships breakdown, people who cheat fail on their own relationship. A strong relationship does not faulter. A person who knows themselves and is strong willed will not throw a relationship away for lust.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It just doesn't make sense. It's not "a relationship breaking down" it's a member of the relationship choosing to break it. How you still not getting that?!

by Ok-Formal434 1 year ago

It doesn't matter who you blame in that scenario because ultimately it is up to the individuals in the relationship to decide if they want to make it work or break up. Humans are complicated and often there are many reasons why relationships crumble. It's also a dangerous game to be going around throwing stones at people when you don't know the ins and outs of a situation.

by Okeefeian 1 year ago

I don't blame the single person, I blame the person in the relationship. It's more common that the one in the relationship let them in than the single one looking for them.

by aletha28 1 year ago

Hahaha. You just got caught cheating, so you want to blame the person you cheated with for your actions. Lol. No, you are 100% at fault for your actions, buds.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Exactly this. I'm literally not vulnerable to that...I feel 100% loved so why would I care about some random dude?

by Ok-Formal434 1 year ago

They can absolutely be a victim of something relating to the cheating, like the money scam you mentioned. But the cheating itself is all them in 100% of the cases. Irresistible charm and relentless tenacity is a really weak excuse. The person had a desire and they acted on it, end of story.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You're ire is not for a "homewrecker", it is for a scammer. These are different things and scammers are universally reviled.

by luna35 1 year ago

You put it better than me. I'm adding some scammers are homewreckers, and i think those types of scammers are getting too much of a pass.

by bradleyschumm 1 year ago

A homewrecker is a person who is blamed for the breakup of a marriage or family, especially due to having engaged in an affair with one member of a couple. It has nothing to do with scams and everything to do with an affair.

by ardith77 1 year ago

Oh yes, of course not.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Cheaters gonna cheat. Is it really home wrecking if the home is already demolished?

by Queasy_Cheek 1 year ago

That's what I'm saying even a perfectly good home can't withstand a bulldozer

by bradleyschumm 1 year ago

Terrible analogy. Implying a homewrecker is a bulldozer means the homewrecker is doing it by force. That's assault, not consensual- making your analogy more accurate would be half the house getting up and leaving with the bulldozer. It's entirely, 100% the fault of the person in the relationship. It takes absolutely zero effort not to bang somebody- just look at all of us right now, not banging anybody.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

So we're talking about the Killdozer? In that case it was the fault of the government.

by Greenholtclarab 1 year ago

It's not the gaps in a relationship that cause cheating. It's the gaps within the cheaters themselves, their loose moral code and lack of personal responsibility is what enables them to willingly cause such harm and devastation to their partner.

by AgentOwn4225 1 year ago

I feel like the ‘home wrecker' is usually given more crap than the person in the relationship

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Clearly not enough.

by Huge_Swimmer_603 1 year ago

Machines break down, systems fail, but humans have free will (supposedly). Humans will be judged on their actions, depending on the gravity of what they've done and the difficulty they were facing at the time. But they will be judged for their choice.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I don't accept the "they aren't the one in the relationship so they hold no responsibility". And that's problem. It isn't anyone else's problem but who is in the relationship. The people in the relationship made the commitment. Let's not blame victims of romance scams too harshly. Yes, blame them. They put themself in a position to have this happen. They were already looking to cheat and got caught.if you're gullible enough to believe they weren't, that's a you problem. There is no oops my clothes fell and I accidentally had sex with some else.

by rosalyn49 1 year ago

"you can't romance scam someone who is not interested in cheating" - that's what I was trying to say, you said it much better lol

by Ok-Formal434 1 year ago

I'm assuming that the homewrecker knows the other person is married. If they know, they were complicit. If not they are a victim.

by Greenholtclarab 1 year ago

I think the problem and all related problems boils down to nature taking its victories over concepts from civilization in the war of defining what normal exchanges are. But "Homewreckers" sort of pulls for the sympathy of a happy home. How could you destroy my happy family? I might be inclined to argue that if someone in a senior position within that destroyed home say the He-E-O or She-E-O of that home. (sure hope it isn't the Jr. Executives) If they don't mind allowing such destruction to that home they (or something of nature in them) aren't quite so happy there. Homewreckers are a bit like vampires. Someone has to invite them in else they can't come in. And if someone is inviting them in somebody is feeling lonely in that "happy home". Nature takes its victories and illusions of things holding up that aren't holding up are the first things it crushes. Now that's just traditional meaning of homewrecker. If you mean someone who intentionally does it for the purposes of blackmail, cosmetic surgery to hide your face to get revenge on your sister by taking her man and do a face off moment to show it's me ,etc... Well that being wrong about people is like a natural disaster. The worst parts of nature really wins those. The other natural parts were sexual this is outright carnage.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I'm saying it's more of a case by case basis. Who was the initiator.

by bradleyschumm 1 year ago

Knowledge of the partner's taken status isn't part of the definition of a homewrecker.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Does the original relationship have to end in order for the AP to be a home wrecker? Because if the original relationship doesn't end the the home wasn't really wrecked?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Of course romance scammers are horrible but that doesn't absolve the cheater. And no, there's no "case by case" here, nobody forces anyone to cheat. It's a choice.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I've got no problem with people sleeping with people in relationships. They are single and they made no promises of commitment to anyone. Come down harsh on the people in relationships rather than the people that aren't actually cheating.

by Prudent_Database_757 1 year ago

Meh. 80-20 blame in favor of the cheater. If the other person doesn't know that the cheater is in a relationship, 100% blame to the cheater.

by Electronic_Mail_3014 1 year ago

Lol.. blame someone else... not your partner who cheated... it's your partner's fault, they are the homewrecker... That's like a Christian complaining about r rated movies in a movie store b/c they can't control their impulses to rent them...

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It's not the homewrecker who is the problem but the person who decided to cheat or leave the relationship.

by Rude_Profit_3637 1 year ago

Think there's a difference between those that purposely do it for the thrill or the kink or something, and those who generally fell inlove with the wrong person.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Someone who knowingly pursues a clandestine relationship with someone in a relationship where there is an expectation of monogamy has actively chosen to cause harm for the sake of their own pleasure. This makes them an asshole.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Yes, in that scenario she deserves all the blame. Unless and until he agrees. Then he's just as much of a scumbag.

by heath15 1 year ago

Case by case but it's on the one in the relationship is more responsible. Also what if the single person didn't know the other was in a relationship

by Sbergstrom 1 year ago

Loyalty is just a made up word.

by Much_Implement2565 1 year ago

It takes two to wreck a home.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Agree. I hate this narrative of "he owed you loyalty, not the other woman" it's like… yeah she owed you human decency… when did that concept die lol

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The so called "homewrecker" didn't break any promises, the cheater did.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That's not unpopular, here's an actual unpopular opinion: "Homewreckers" that chase people in relationships should be vilified, but if I got approached and chased by someone in a relationship, I hold no blame if I decided to go for it. And anyone who thinks otherwise is just delusional and trying to blame someone else for their dysfunctional wreck of a relationship.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Your identity wasn't stolen if you give the person your social security card and birth certificate. Likewise, you weren't hacked if you gave someone your name and password and phone so they can get past the 2 factor authentication…..do you see where I'm going with this (?)

by Status_Whole_509 1 year ago

I just don't care about other peoples relationships enough to do anything like this. Not my relationship? Not my problem and NOT my business. I'm not here to punish people for moral transgressions because it will make a wronged party feel validated.

by spencergwendoly 1 year ago

So even if you have a strong relationship a dedicated enough person can find the gaps in your relationship and take advantage of it. It does not matter how dedicated the person is. In the end, a "homewrecker" cannot possibly wreck a home unless someone in that home willingly lets them do it. Unless you're saying free will doesn't exist for people in relationships, but does exist for people who hook up with people in relationships. I don't accept the "they aren't the one in the relationship so they hold no responsibility". Why would they hold any responsibility? Unlike the person in the committed relationship, they have no responsibility towards the spouse of the person they're seeing. They have made no vows, and owe that person nothing. In the end the only way a homewrecker can wreck a home, is if someone who is in a committed relationship chooses to wreck their own home.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The cheater is at fault, not the rando

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Someone's projecting. Blame the SO. They were the one that was married. They aren't seduced into anything. They make adult decisions to do what they do. You sound bitter, like you want someone to walk around with a scarlet letter. Let's dig into your closet and air out your secrets to society.

by Lumpy_Indication_497 1 year ago

People are going to tempt you. But, the cheater is the one with the commitments of a relationship. The homewrecker often doesn't. That's why the blame is on the cheater. They're the ones buying in and deciding cheating is more important than keeping their relationship

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Your relationship isn't someone else's responsibility. If you don't like getting cheated on, choose better partners and be a better partner. Don't vilify others fulfilling the same urges that got you here

by Anonymous 1 year ago

F homewreckers, and cheaters

by Subject-Opening1449 1 year ago

The „homewrecker" never promised loyalty and faithfulness to the spouse. Is their behaviour morally questionable? Yeah. Is it their responsibility to protect relationships they aren't even part of? Absolutely not.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

They are hated enough. And cheaters take most of the blame.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Again with this "unpopular" opinion? Didn't we just go through this yesterday?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Homewreckers almost always get more crap than the spouse who cheated. The spouse often gets forgiven but the homewrecker? Especially if its a woman

by Live-Grapefruit-5088 1 year ago

I think the balance swung too far from "it's all the fault of the shameless homewrecker" to "the homewrecker owes you nothing, the homewrecker didn't make vows!" The homewrecker is a part of society, they know what a wedding ring means. But I don't agree that if someone is determined to get someone to cheat that it will happen. A person isn't a thing like a facebook account or a car. That's why we don't yell at cars that get recovered after a theft. Someone who cheats is taking part in that activity. They're able to tell the person to back off, they can speak to their partner, their friends, even the police if it comes to it. The person who cheats on their partner is the worst, but Mr or Mrs Homewrecker is trash too. Possibly irredeemable trash if children are involved.

by Clean-Classic 1 year ago

Anthony Sandalis would feel the same way

by Upstairs-Sound 1 year ago

I think the possessiveness, and the pressure to prematurely commit to exclusivity that dominates relationship culture should take a lot of the blame. Be honest, what is that likelihood that a person you meet in your mid 20s will be able to fill your every emotional and physical need for the next 60 years?

by Competitive-Joke-944 1 year ago

I don't think the term "home wrecker" is even accurate. The cheater is the one wrecking their own home. It doesn't make the person they cheated with exempt, but calling that person a home wrecker implies some sort of intent and takes blame away from the person who is actually ruining their relationship by cheating.

by Creichert 1 year ago

A homewrecker is only a homewrecker with a spouse's permission. Not saying they hold zero responsibility but I don't think anyone just lays around waiting to ruin a family's life. It's at least 99% on the cheating spouse

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Oddly specific

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The cheated shouldn't be referred to as a victim. It takes two to tango… I think more often than not cheaters and home wreckers are given a lot of crap

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Yeah I never bought Monica Lewinsky being a victim. She sucked off a married man who happened to be the President.

by Electrical_Match 1 year ago

He could have said "no thanks".

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Then you don't understand how power dynamics can work in situations like that.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That's presumptuous. It may be they don't consider power dynamics a valid excuse nor a mitigating factor. I don't either.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That's insane to not consider power dynamics in situations like this where one party is insanely powerful and could ruin your life for not listening and complying but hey, you do you.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This is engineering ethics 101. There will be times that you are forced to make a no-win decision. That doesn't absolve you of the harm you cause or the consequences you'll face.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

"Homewreckers" never made a promise to anyone. The cheaters are the asshole, not the homewrecker. In the end of the day, a homewrecker would never be considered a homwrecker if the cheater never decided to cheat.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

They already did lol

by Electrical_Match 1 year ago

The society used to hold marriage to be paramount and punished the transgressors harshly. Just read the Quran and the bible if you are so interested, they got pretty good references on how to punish the suspects. The early medieval periods which were a refection of the religious practices gives in details of the methods which included public shaming, stoning to death etc, just for destroying a family. For some reason society deemed it to be too barbaric and now awards only a slap on the wrist. If you are keen on such prehistoric practices you should look at the Afghanistan, not sure if the Middle east still follows those practices.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Is "homewrecker" the name you are calling the person you swore to spend your life with? I bet she have nice things to say about you as well.

by Ok-Dust-496 1 year ago

Rejected. The only people who have a responsibility to the relationship are those that are in it

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Tbh I can see the point. There are justifiable reasons for murder like self defense. There's no justification for cheating on your partner

by Anonymous 1 year ago