Marriage isn't that important, amirite?

You're confusing marriage with weddings.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Considering that it's come to light that they did all of this manipulating for fans and fame I'd say anything she might have said surrounding marriage is a completer joke and sadly another anyone in their 30's still using "Like" every other word hardly put them in a category of intelligent.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Besides a title change, what does marriage really accomplish anyways? If you're living with someone for 20+ years, having kids and sharing a home with them, whether you call them your husband/wife or your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner is just semantics imo. I get that there are some financial things involved too, but that's also kind of an artificial thing we attached to getting married.

by Calm_Awareness_4878 11 months ago

It gives you legal rights.

by Safe-Formal-615 11 months ago

Is it just for child support and alimony? I guess tax benefits for filing together. Anything else important or is that it?

by marvin59 11 months ago

You can share health insurance, your spouse gets to make decisions on your behalf if you are unable to, like if you are in a coma, they become your default next of kin if you die with no will so your money or assets don't go to random family members or the government, I'm sure there are more

by Stacy38 11 months ago

A little niche, but your spouse can't be forced to testify against you in court

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Inheritance, marital home, medical decisions, insurance applications, pension

by Safe-Formal-615 11 months ago

Besides a title change, what does marriage really accomplish anyways? Legal rights.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I love being married and our vows are something I return to during the hard times. It also means legally we wanted to be a family.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Tax benefits, immigration opportunities, automatically being their medical decision maker if they were unable to do so themself, ability to put on your health insurance, social security benefits, right to visit spouse in the hospital, lower insurance premiums, and probably more that I'm missing.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I agree with you, I don't know why the dislikes

by NoAppearance858 11 months ago

Besides a title change, what does marriage really accomplish anyways? Nothing much, just a fancy way to show off that you're with someone, and the courts can screw you over in case the relationship doesnt work out

by brooks10 11 months ago

It validates your relationship. It's literally not valid without it, you're just two people who like to spend time together.

by Affectionate_Tune 11 months ago

Marriage doesn't validate a relationship. Commitment to your partner does.

by orajast 11 months ago

it does not validate it. u can divorce any time you

by Anonymous 11 months ago

In general I agree, but there are some specific issues that get very complicated if you're not married - mostly around death, dying, and inheritance. Plenty of horror stories of partners for decades being shut out by a family who their partner was non contact with in cases of hospitalisation. It mostly comes up as an argument for why gay marriage is important, but it also happens to unmarried straight couples.

by PromptPrestigious391 11 months ago

Those are not nearly enough. Two pieces of paper don't equate to a marriage. There are 1138 rights that married couples get that othetr don't

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Great if you're dying from cancer at 80. When my boyfriend was in a fatal accident at 26 he had no will or health proxy- his life insurance and medical decisions were all left to his mom. Really made me wish we had taken the marriage discussion further

by csmitham 11 months ago

You don't have to be married or old to have a Written will and clear healthcare proxy/living will, unless I'm misunderstanding what you mean?

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I guess some artificial legal/financial constructs we built around marriage. They're not articial. That's like saying renting is the same as owning or a title to your car is "artificial". If marriage is not that important- then what's the issue in getting married. It doesn't mean anything either way.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I don't care if other people get married, but it's important for people to understand that you can get all the protections of marriage with other contracts. Every couple's needs are different. For example, my partner and I have trusts, wills, and medical proxies all set up. But if we were to get married, it would be a major financial hit due to taxes. Note: I'm talking about the US. I know nothing about marriage laws and rights in other countries

by Anonymous 11 months ago

All these things would have to be paid private in Austria while having everything of that be free if you're married. If I die my wife will get forever a % of my income as a widow pension paid by the government. Wich she won't if we aren't married. And there's much more going on financially and medically that benefits a marriage. In the end it's „pay my own money for security not being married or let the government pay these things for being married"

by Anonymous 11 months ago

you can get all the protections of marriage with other contracts. No you can't. There are 1138 rights granted to married couples that other couples dont recieve

by Anonymous 11 months ago

That's a big number! In which country?

by Mohammed82 11 months ago

There isn't an issue with getting married. I agree with you. It doesn't mean anything either way.

by Calm_Awareness_4878 11 months ago

Then you should be okay with getting married.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I wrote in the OP that I was if my partner wanted it lol. The opinion isn't that "marriage sucks and no one should do it", it's that people place way more importance on it than it deserves. It's ultimately just a formality, and people treat it like it's a necessary step in a relationship when in reality it's just a social construct

by Calm_Awareness_4878 11 months ago

It's not just a formality though. There are a lot of real changes that happen when you are married. For example around health benefits and joint filing taxes.

by One-Yak 11 months ago

I'm not sure how I'd have Malta citizenship if we weren't married. They wouldn't let me buy in like a few other nations have. Kinda important to be able to live in her motherland or wander Europe together when we want.

by SuccessfulTax7532 11 months ago

Now you are just day dreaming though. This isn't an unpopular opinion, it's wishful thinking.

by One-Yak 11 months ago

I just think it's funny that people will always talk about how marriage is just a piece of paper or a legal/financial construct but that same attitude doesn't carry over for birth certificates, house deeds, their paychecks, and the entire legal system as a whole. Technically, putting people in jail for murder is an artificial legal construct…it just also happens to be the right thing to do. Something being an artificial legal construct or ‘just a piece of paper' does not necessarily diminish its value. The Constitution is also ‘just a piece of paper' but it sure had impacted the world.

by Stunning_Face 11 months ago

Just make sure you fill out paperwork about power of attorney and such, otherwise they're not your next of kin automatically.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Yeah. This is wedding aren't Important. Marriage is a different thing all together

by Kooky_Abrocoma2466 11 months ago

I guess on a very basic level it is those financial and legal things. You are tying yourselves together legally and financially. Makes breaking up much harder

by Kooky_Abrocoma2466 11 months ago

Not every country has financial or legal benefits to being married. I'm from NZ and there is literally nothing different between a marriage and a defacto relationship except a divorce taking 2 years to finalise.

by nitzscheconsuel 11 months ago

No immigration pathways that require marriage?

by HungryEntrepreneur 11 months ago

But at the point that you're making all those legal arrangements… why not just get married? You can do it for like $50 at city hall for a lot cheaper than hiring those lawyers.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I'm not opposed to marriage so if it is the easiest way to do that, I'd do it. My thesis isn't that marriage is something to be avoided, it's that society places too much importance upon something that is ultimately a social construct

by Calm_Awareness_4878 11 months ago

Yeah the reason marriage was socially constructed was to combine resources and assets It's because women were considered assets that were purchased and exchanged.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Not all of them and not all countries

by IndependentFun516 11 months ago

Marriage in itself isn't that important I am married We eloped and never had a wedding However the tax benefits of being married are A1 and make life easier for us If taxes and insurance in the US were not based on marriage then we probably wouldn't have cared Also my husband is an immigrant and we needed to be married for immigration so yeah see legalities In itself, not so important at least to us, we can still love and cherish and be together without it but I'll be damned if legally it doesn't have benefits

by LogicalClimate9257 11 months ago

It should all depend on the couple. If the couple wants a wedding, then have a wedding. If the couple wants a big wedding, have a big wedding. If the couple doesn't want a wedding, don't have a wedding. If the couple wants to get married, get married. If the couple doesn't want to get married, don't. Each couple should decide what is important to them and how important it is. To someone the wedding might be important because it is a chance to show off their soon to be spouse to all their family at once. To someone else, a marriage certificate might be a symbol of overcoming challenges and actually being *able* to be married. It is why it is rather ridiculous, to me, whenever you see someone saying 'don't spend that money on a wedding, spend it on a house or a car or whatever', because to that couple, maybe a house or car or vacation isn't important, but the wedding is. Let other people decide what is important for them. You (general you, not specifically OP) decide for yourself.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I don't look down upon people who get married, I just don't see the value besides the value that people artificially attach to it. In other words, I view it as a social construct. When you buy a car, you get transportation. It's useful. If you throw a big wedding, more power to you, but it's just a big party with extra steps. You can throw one of those anyways

by Calm_Awareness_4878 11 months ago

I didn't say you looked down upon them, just that what you value most isn't what other people value most. The value of most things is 'artificial'. That house? Any building with four walls and a roof would do, but most people want a bathroom, bedrooms, a kitchen and so on. That car? Most people don't need a car that can go from 0 to 120 in less than a nanosecond, nor do they need all the latest gadgets. Yet, they want those. Some people value having fancy clothes or the latest namebrands, others don't. It all comes down to the individual. Sure it may be a 'big party' but it is a big party for a specific reason, one that society has deemed culturally (usually) okay to call off of work to go to. If someone said to their boss 'hey, my cousin is going to throw a huge party and I want to go this wednesday' I have the feeling most bosses would say 'see you wednesday'. But if they said 'hey, my cousin is having their wedding this wednesday, and I am invited', a lot of bosses would be okay.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

There are 1138 rights granted to married couples that other couples dont recieve

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I wouldn't say the constructs of marriage are artificial per say - if there's sentimental value and culture involved - marriage/weddings are very beautiful things. Marriage or partnership and life in general is what you and your partner make it together ❤️ everyone's story will look a bit different

by Business_Recipe_2460 11 months ago

Before we can really answer this question we have to define what is meant by the term marriage, and no matter what definition you set forth, somebody will always pipe up and say, "That's your definition of marriage, but not everybody agrees with it," and that pretty much puts an end to rational debate.

by Yfritsch 11 months ago

At face value I'd agree but if you look at it though a legal or even biblical lease it gets heavy. Marriage is a covenant between the couple and whomever you choose to worship as well as Uncle Sam if we wanna go that route. I use to think the exact same as you at one point but really marriage is the ultimate goal and is the deepest commitment one could make with another human being. It isn't without flaws tho

by Few_Builder4821 11 months ago

Marriage protects shared assets in the event of a death, it allows for certain liberties when at hospital, allows for easier creation of joint bank accounts, joint loans, combined insurance plans, etc. There's a lot of reasons to get married, I do agree that weddings are a waste, especially super elaborate ones. I just signed a paper and will do a small get together eventually for my "wedding"

by YellowOk 11 months ago

Come to Quebec. The vast majority of couples (even with children) never get married here. It's estimated that only 26 percent of men and 30 percent of women in Quebec will marry before their 50th birthdays.

by DentistFew 11 months ago

There are too many studies that favor marriage. If a marriage certificate is just an artificial document to you than I guess your paycheck is just the same.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

If you're a straight woman, it's a pretty terrible idea, period. You'll be less healthy, get less sleep, be far more likely to get autoimmune diseases, career will suffer, etc etc. dumb idea at all.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

It didn't go well for any of the unmarried people I know who have kids. That's all I'm saying. Draw your own conclusions.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

This isnt unpopular, it's the majority opinion. Most people who are unhappy and unmarried don't think marriage is important.

by michaleturner 11 months ago

Legal things tbh. In Austria being married comes with a lot of financial securities if something happens to your husband/wife. Something you'd have to pay in private insurance if you aren't married. Also many legal decisions and rights when it comes to medical stuff. You're only considering your personal relationship status quo that won't change much. But a marriage comes with more than just a mindset.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I agree. Large lavish weddings are self indulgent.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

legal rights and religion

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I don't know, I'd say being able to get a visa easier and faster & having medical emergencies be more " efficient " are pretty important things. My fiancé and I live extremely far away from my family ( we live in Australia & my family is in Puerto Rico) if something happens to me , my fiancé, the person I live with, the person I've been with for the past 6 years, the person I have children with , has absolutely no rights to make any medical decisions and in done cases even know information about my health and status. The hospital will have to call my mother & have her make all medical decisions & then she can give the information to my fiancé and appoint him "in charge" of knowing information but absolutely nothing will be able to be done without my mom present. Him being my husband , changes all of that & makes him capable of making and knowing medical decisions/information.

by Suspicious_Acadia 11 months ago

Some tax saving opportunities…

by Kacey79 11 months ago

Marriage and weddings are two different things. However I agree with the sentiment. If I could go back and re-‘marry' my husband, we would just elope on our honeymoon, take our parents and siblings, and closest friends with us. I don't know if the last name thing really matters to me but now we have a child it's definitely good to all have the same last name as a family though.

by Gold_Golf 11 months ago

I'm of two minds, I'm also whatever about getting married to someone. It's not a goal of mine, I'm not opposed though. However my Dad just lost his husband to a really bad disease called PSP after 5 years of caretaking, and being legally married was extraordinarily important throughout the whole ordeal.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I would love to have a partner to feel all these things with, unfortunately I've been single my whole life. 😕

by Suitable_Cow_5784 11 months ago

I agree when it comes to weddings and also that you can be a good partner without being married. Marriage can be important for legal and financial reasons though, depending on which country you live in.

by rozella71 11 months ago

There are important legal ramifications to being married.

by Tommedhurst 11 months ago

It absolutely is self indulgent and I'm happy I indulged. It was a beautiful day. But anyway, that said. You can get married without a wedding. But sometimes family don't like being left out, if you elope.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I just wish people didn't rush or feel pressured to get married. Why rush if you are going to be together your whole life? Live together and grow together. Love should never feel forced.

by Otherwise-Relative85 11 months ago

Well when you're married you can't be forced to testify AGAINST your spouse.... also if one of you becomes unable to make medical choices then the choice falls to your spouse. (handy if you have evil family that want to kill you via medical decisions.)

by Anonymous 11 months ago

To be a good partner? No. To get legal benefits like filling taxes jointly and power of attorney? Yes. Marriage is important for that. I wouldn't trust my family within 1000 feet of any hospital I'm at. But my husband? I trust he'll make the right decision based on my wishes. Marriage is beneficial for people who need/want it. And no. A marriage isn't a wedding. You can elope. Hell, it's easier. Have a pot luck/cookout when you return to celebrate with family (of course, only have the family members who can cook bring food. Otherwise, it may ruin your day). Everyone raving about the wedding and not about married life only wants the wedding. Save that money. Take a nice honeymoon/vacation. It's more worth it and more stress free.

by gerlachberenice 11 months ago

in my country if you live with a partner for 3 years, all the lawa of marrige start applying so in that case it does not really matter

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Is nothing sacred, do we have to take away all ceremonies and rituals? And no, there is a difference marriages last longer and are healthier, something about standing Infront of everyone you care about and respect and saying "she's the one" and that you'll be a good partner changes how you interact.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

The legal system disagrees with you.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

It's the commitment. For example, you can do all you said with any random off the street, and understand that is what it is, nothing more. Things that you and this other person have in common, all except commitment. Even if the commitment is broken in a marriage, to get to even that part requires more than the average. Also it just feels much more like a commitmented and bonded union to say my husband/wife over my bf/gf or, in my opinion, the worst, my partner.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

We need to marry so we can live in each other's country if we need to.

by GlitteringSecret8460 11 months ago

I agree the only pro I can see to getting married is the tax benefits I would much rather just date someone and give them a promise ring or something

by Narrow_Commission 11 months ago

Just want to say that I agree. I'm in a 3 year relationship but I don't see what the point in marriage is besides a legal binding/document. I think you can still commit to someone and love them without marriage

by joycewiegand 11 months ago

Another teenager giving "their hot takes"

by Terrible-Turnip 11 months ago

I'm 24 years old…

by Calm_Awareness_4878 11 months ago

Marriage is just an archaic religious tradition.

by Busy_Picture6213 11 months ago

Nah, after a certain age and relationship length being a girlfriend is embarrassing

by Affectionate_Tune 11 months ago

A wedding is not about you. It's about maintaining family and friendship ties by creating a social occasion for the extended families to meet as well as your friends. The fact this escapes most people's attention is a testament to how our societies have become atomized and individualistic, with a lack of focus on maintaining communities.

by Holiday-Health 11 months ago

If you want to have children you must get married.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Wedding ceremonies are great. Legal marriage as a guy in the west, not so great.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Yeah, they don't even let us beat our wives with a stick narrower than your thumb an more... It's politcal correctness gone mad.

by PromptPrestigious391 11 months ago

Sorry, getting pegged isn't my thing.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

AND marriage or having kids shouldn't mean "adulthood" or "being an adult"

by Last_Classic 11 months ago

Not a word, it's a sentence.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

it's more for the emotional aspect of it, not based on logic all that much.

by Left-Iron 11 months ago

I've been with my partner for 15 years. We're considered common-law married. Neither of us wanted to have a wedding and we're happy just being together. My parents were never married. My brother has two children with his partner and they were never married either. If you wanna shell out tons of cash for a wedding, all the power to you, but for me, it seems pointless.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

No matter how much I may love someone and be in love with her and have every intention of spending the rest of my life with her, the idea of legally tying myself somebody I've only known for a few years seems absolutely absurd when I really think about it. You can still have a relationship that is every bit as committed as a marriage without actually being married.

by Anonymous 11 months ago