It should be common practice to put cause of death in an obituary. amirite?

i agree with this but only because i'm a nosy bitch

by Fstamm 1 week ago

At least you are honest. I'll admit, I am definitely a person who has the morbid curiosity, so I enjoy (that feels gross) when it's there, but would never be upset if it wasn't.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I mean that's pretty what they are trying to avoid, people getting their gossip rocks off at their expense at a time of sadness.

by South_Business_64 1 week ago

Yea when my boyfriend died I got so many "how did he die?" and it used to turn my stomach. I get why the curiosity, but I still just didn't like the question.

by Entire_Delay 1 week ago

Fellow nosy bitch here

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Your honesty is refreshing.

by Scarlett08 1 week ago

Idk why people are acting like being curious about a death isn't normal. It's normal and natural to want to know how someone you know (or know of) died.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I stumbled upon the obituary of an ex a few years back. He was only around 30. I will never know what happened and I think about that (and his poor mother) at least twice a month.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Honestly sammmmmeeee. I was like i agree, but def for different reasons.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Nosy bitch here. I always want to know.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

🙋🏻‍♀️fellow nosy bitch here too!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

As am I

by Critical-Hawk 1 week ago

Teal'c ?

by dashawnmarvin 1 week ago

I just want to know so I can avoid whatever it is that made them die.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

honestly, it's a bad habit of mine but unfortunately i HAVE to know

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Same

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Being self-aware about it doesn't make it less annoying.

by AccomplishedEcho6202 1 week ago

ok

by Fstamm 1 week ago

In life, their medical situation is confidential. Death doesn't remove their humanity or the right to privacy their family should receive. You just have to think in most cases. 9/10 times they say "in lieu of flowers, please donate to…" Whether it's a cancer charity or a mental health company or a rehabilitation center, you can put it Together without being nosey.

by Fhayes 1 week ago

Yes. And if the family thinks you should know, they'll tell you. If you're kept in the dark about a friend's illness, you probably aren't a close friend. Same applies if it was a horrible accident-if no one shares any details about it with you, you're likely not a close friend.

by cydneyheathcote 1 week ago

lol...well you can certainly put this all in writing and have it be known that you want every detail shared about how you died. :)

by cydneyheathcote 1 week ago

Amen.

by Fhayes 1 week ago

Yeah if it's a younger or otherwise physically healthy person, I usually look for any indication that the death was unexpected. And also if it says that donations can be made to a rehab centre or a mental health association or a suicide prevention charity, you can usually put two and two together pretty fast.

by Swimming_Version 1 week ago

Exactly.

by Fhayes 1 week ago

You either write a will or your signifiant others do as THEY please, not as YOU want.

by More_Calligrapher 1 week ago

That's your choice. Make that Clear to them. If no such request has been made, then curiosity does not outweigh the privacy of the deceased or their families.

by Fhayes 1 week ago

Yeah, usually if they mention a particular charity attached to a medical issue it's the biggest hint without outright saying anything.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I want you to write my obituary. :-)

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I would also like this done.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Me too. Concise and clear.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I want mine to have a link saying I made a video that says goodbye that leads to a Rick roll

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"Why yes, Id love to pay an extra 300 dollars to say that cousin Jim had a David Carradine moment"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's called the Kung Fu Neck Trick

by Anonymous 1 week ago

That's interesting. My mother recently passed away, and I wasn't charged separately for her obituary. It was rolled into the cost of everything else, and that price was set before the obit was even written.

by Kailey86 1 week ago

Thank you kind internet stranger!

by Isabell91 1 week ago

In my experience, there has always been a reason. If someone died over the course of months or years because of cancer, everyone who knows them already knows why they died. This goes for any health related thing that has you in the hospital long term. If you don't even know them well enough to know they've been terminally ill in the hospital, then it's none of their business. The other part of it is suicide and drug overdoses. There have been times were I've known that's happened, but of course their family isn't going to advertise it. If they just died unexpectedly (usually car accident), there is usually some mention of it in the obituary.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'm so sorry. That's really hard

by Strong_Opinion_1880 1 week ago

When my dad died during COVID we put in "died after a brief illness." You want the memorial.com page to turn into a "plandemic" debate? Actually, no, that sounds hilarious.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This is true. Unfortunately having to be publicly discreet about my sisters suicide had everyone messaging me. Anyone who straight up asked me got the truth. I hadn't dealt with that before and hope I never have to again. It wouldn't be bad if it were more normalized to say the dark and taboo to prevent people who barely had anything to do with us pretending they cared just to get that reveal.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"people who barely had anything to do with us pretending they cared just to get that reveal." I am sorry, that would annoy the hell out of me too. Honestly if it were over text or social media, I'd ignore them. People are nosey and have no boundaries. I'd have to be pretty comfortable with you to ask you something like that.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Also worth noting that if a young person dies unexpectedly with no immediate cause they likely won't know why before the obit is put out

by Ohickle 1 week ago

In fact, what a grieving family chooses to write is definitely not your business in ANY MANNER. I agree with you and this is pedantic of me, but what a family chooses to write in a published obituary is your business. What they choose to leave out, is not.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Im not wishing it was required. I just wish there was less stigma around sharing it. I see no issue in more people sharing "X person died after a battle with brain cancer, heart disease, freak car accident, depression, etc." If anything it brings more empathy and awareness to the disease/cause of death.

by Imaginary_Egg_5818 1 week ago

Then you really need to rephrase your title. You make it sound like there'd be a stigma around not disclosing the cause, if you had your way.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Most people don't want their life defined by their death. People who actually love their relatives and friends want them remembered for who they were. We all know how our loved ones died. Death is about loss, grieving and remembrance, not an excuse to feed gossip vultures in the name of "raising awareness". Those people are exactly who we don't want around.

by CareerBig 1 week ago

If you think when someone you love dies that he/she should have their cause of death known then do so but it should always be up to the family.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Hard disagree. It should be up to the person who died. If they planned ahead, the family should follow their wishes regardless of whether they (the family) would do it differently for themselves

by Strong_Opinion_1880 1 week ago

I get your point but also the family are the ones who have to deal with the fallout of it. I could see it being difficult having to say your child died of a drug overdose because there are people who would NOT be nice about it to you.

by Ohickle 1 week ago

This is a social issue not an obituary issue. People skip around the truth even when talking aloud if it's a stigmatized death.

by Ohickle 1 week ago

No...just no. It is no one's business. Need to know only.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

As someone who has had a lot of people I went school with die, that I lost touch with, but at one point was close to or associated in the same friend circles, I too, would like to know. I'll be forty next year, but I've already lost about a dozen people I had daily conversations with for four years. I'd like to know what happened to them without feeling like I'm pestering their family and being insensitive. I didn't know them best, but I did know and care about them at one time.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

feel exactly the same. Definitely applies to old classmates. You arent close with their family, but at one point in life you saw them daily.

by Imaginary_Egg_5818 1 week ago

If you didn't know them well enough to know how they died, you really didn't know them. Their loved ones loss isn't about you.

by CareerBig 1 week ago

In older cemeteries many of the grave stones do give a description of how the person died. It's really interesting to walk around and read them

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Agree 1000%. Whenever ANYBODY dies, that is the very first question on everybody's mind, normally. And especially so if they are younger than let's say 60, because it is unexpected.

by Hortense73 1 week ago

Literally came looking for this! Throat Slashed

by Anonymous 1 week ago

lets be real - people are more nosy about young people dying than old people dying from normal old people stuff. More likely to be either traumatic or unknown at time of publication.

by Ohickle 1 week ago

lol whut? It's none of your business.

by Helpful-Set 1 week ago

How selfish of his family to prioritize politics over giving him a proper obituary. I'm really sorry for your loss

by Strong_Opinion_1880 1 week ago

Be honest, it has nothing to do with empathy. You're just being nosey.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Frank Morton 47, passed away on Sunday. He is survived by his children and wife, who mourn his loss, but not as much as they mourn his lack of respect for the industrial wood chipper that took his life. His memorial service will take place on Tuesday at 11 am, followed by the scattering of his remains at 12:30. The memorial service will be closed-casket, as the family celebration of life brunch is scheduled for 10 AM. In lieu of flowers, the family respectfully requests that donatons be made to the Darwin Awards Family Recovery fund in his memory.

by Gunnerbaumbach 1 week ago

For old people, I usually figure it is age related. For young people, if the obituary doesn't say, I figure that it was drugs or suicide… something the family doesn't want to talk about

by Schmidtlois 1 week ago

, I figure that it was drugs or suicide… something the family doesn't want to talk about Perpetuating the stigma around drugs and mental illness

by Strong_Opinion_1880 1 week ago

When a friend of mine died from an overdose his parents wrote a very detailed obituary talking about his struggles with addiction. They wanted to educate people. They didn't want this to happen to another family. I really loved that. And also I'm nosy

by Different-Coffee-567 1 week ago

That's really fantastic

by Strong_Opinion_1880 1 week ago

The city I live it use to be common practice to put the cause of death in the obit probably 25 years ago. 30-40 years ago they would put the address of the deceased in the paper along with the obit.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Wait it's rude? I always ask they don't seem offended usually just say the unfortunate way they die (been a while since I've been to a natural causes funeral)

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Just because we want to know doesn't mean we deserve to know.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Suicide sometimes is included using phrases like "died of a broken heart" etc as a euphemism. Rarely is suicide mentioned directly due to its taboo nature.

by Morarjustyn 1 week ago

Disagree. Most people don't want to be remembered as the person who died for a certain disease but rather for how they lived.

by StatusUpstairs 1 week ago

there are often clues to suicide specifically. "left us unexpectedly." but what i usually do is look at facebook. i have yet to be disappointed in my facebook sleuthing. "reach out if you need" "mental health matters" type stuff? yeah, suicide. i consider myself pretty well-versed at this, since about ten acquaintances of mine from high school have died in the six years since we've graduated.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

There is no reason for you to know unless the family want to tell you. Your curiosity does not trump someone's right to privacy, even in death. Often you can read between the lines and know it was suicide, why would you retraumatise the family by bringing that up with them? If you were close to the person and family, you'll already know. If you dont know, then you are not close enough to have any reason to be told.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This is it right here ⬆️

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My wife had to tip toe around asking how her own father died. Took her a week to get a solid answer. Just tell everyone and remove the awkward conversations and guessing.

by andrew46 1 week ago

I mean I'm a nosy person but it's not my business, your business, or anyone else's for that matter (excluding close family/friends that would already know because they're close to that person).

by Fragrant-Security440 1 week ago

you're so real for this

by whitney96 1 week ago

You know families pay a lot of money to have obituaries run in the paper, right?

by Fresh_Novel5399 1 week ago

And the versions on funeral home websites and therefore Legacy.com do not have character limits

by Strong_Opinion_1880 1 week ago

Why do you need to know?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's not really anyone else's business.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I guess it's none of your business if you don't know how they died directly from the family or somehow don't hear about what actually happened from someone

by Parking-Session 1 week ago

It's nobody else's business how someone died. An obituary is about remembering their life, not defining them by their death so the ghouls gave something to gossip about.

by CareerBig 1 week ago

Lol I would definitely consider this unpopular, or maybe just weird. Obituaries literally exist so that you can reach out to the family if needed in case you're not in regular contact with them, at least back in the day of the phone book. If you cant deduct it from their social media then you're not close enough to them to know. Also would be a HIPAA violation unless prior consent is given while they're still alive.

by osimonis 1 week ago

I would never give you nosy bitches the satisfaction!

by No-Cartographer 1 week ago

It's not really anyone's business and if you're close enough to the person where it could be your business then you'll probably know anyway.

by SwitchWide3409 1 week ago

Some of the ones here in Ireland talk about cancer or car accident or just of natural causes peacefully in their home

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If you want to know the cause of death, talk to the family. It's really none of anyone's business how the person died. Especially if it's self inflicted.

by Frosty_Position 1 week ago

That should be left to the surviving family, solely.

by Fun_Delivery 1 week ago

If you only show the deaths that aren't "horrible or illegal" then you aren't really protecting anything. If you're reading an obituary and see a cause of death not shown when normally you'd show it then that's just a giant sign that says this person died in a not so great way. Either you show every cause of death with no filter or you don't show any in respect for the people who did die tragically

by Legitimate-Hall 1 week ago

Let's think about reasons why people don't want to or need to know how someone died. Put your self in that position. would you want everyone to know you died from something like erotic asphyxiation?

by asaokeefe 1 week ago

I think it would be good because then you could be like wow I saw that person all the time they look normal. They seemed happy whatever whatever I didn't realize they were battling so much inside because they killed them selves or you know oh my gosh that was horrible that they just had a freak accident and stumble down the stairs and broke their neck. I don't know why they don't want to share when it's something unfortunate because we all want to know how to save the next person I guess

by Kitchen-Bee6078 1 week ago

What? Is it not?

by Zestyclose_Buy_9815 1 week ago

I mean it's really none of your business when it comes to someone you "vaguely know."

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I agree, the only exception would be if the person died while doing a criminal act (like if they were shooting up a school or something like that).

by Swimming_Version 1 week ago

Tell us you're a nosy bastard without telling us you're a nosy bastard.. Nothing to do with you, GTFO

by gilbertlowe 1 week ago

This is absolutely horrible and a total invasion of privacy. What a way to make mourning families feel worse.

by Current_Web_6593 1 week ago

It's insane that you feel entitled to that information.

by collinsabel 1 week ago

It definitely is not uncommon for an obituary to say something like "passed away after a long battle with cancer" or "passed after a brief illness" or "died doing what he loved" for a motorcycle accident or something. They usually don't get into the gory details and it's definitely not included in every single obituary but I would venture to say it is fairly common

by Kheaney 1 week ago

I find it rather weird how the way someone dies can be such a defining memory of their life tbh

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Exactly, the obituary is probably the very last thing that will ever be written about them and is essentially a "greatest hits" list of their life. Even if I died of something totally normal and unstigmatized at a very old age, I wouldn't want to be remembered for it to the same degree as I'm remembered for the things I contributed in life.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

For me this is simple: unless you're close enough to the family to already know the cause of death before the obituary is published, you're not close enough to be entitled to know.

by Terryalexandre 1 week ago

Public records like divorces or crimes serve a public interest to know about a persons background. What public interest is served with death cause?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Granted, I live in a small town, and the larger community overall has that small town feel BUT typically obituaries where I live have some sort of "in lieu of flowers, please donate to charity". Typically the charity mentioned has to do with the person's death, like the Cancer Society, or Mental Health Services.

by dejaorn 1 week ago

My dad's only said "Dad died, truck for sale."

by rward 1 week ago

In Philly it would just be a lot of "OD'd on Tranq"

by Recent-Bookkeeper 1 week ago

I'm heading to a wake right now for a co-worker's child, I do not know the cause of death and I do not want to. This is a slippery slope.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The question is why do you care?

by rutherfordmafal 1 week ago

Yeah no. Nobody's family wants their death from autoerotic asphyxiation in the paper.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

What if they don't know the cause of death?

by BrilliantLiving2968 1 week ago

At least here in Ireland they'll say "passed away peacefully" or "tragically passed away" and that tells you whether you'll be telling funny stories about them over a pint or crying. Nothing more needed.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Certainly if they're my age or younger I wanna know!

by Clarebecker 1 week ago

I think most people have morbid curiosity. It used to be a pet peeve of mine that they did not indicate cause of death in obituaries. I wrote to dear Abby about it and complained why don't they list the cause of death in obituaries? She answered ;out of respect for the surviving relatives. So then I just accepted it.

by Simple_Butterfly1624 1 week ago

It's none of your business.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Imagine this in an obituary: George excelled at everything he did. Well, apart from swimming, of course…

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If they weren't elderly, we ALL want to know and it's the elephant in the room

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Privacy laws still exist for dead people. I don't see why the general public would need to be privy to anyone's cause of death. NYB, not your business

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Didn't know this was uncommon...

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's a decision to be made by the family. If you aren't close enough to still be in touch with them or someone who is still in touch with them, then it's not your business.

by hermistonfreder 1 week ago

It should also still be common practice to attach a bell for somebody to ring on the grave

by PrestigiousShirt 1 week ago

because no one wants to read autoerotic asphyxiation on their parents friends obituary

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Why? Because you're curious? Nobody cares about your curiosity.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Nosy much?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Lots of times, it is better to tell the truth than to have people speculate!

by No-Rub-5105 1 week ago

My daughter's been dead for a little more than 6 months, she was 26.. I don't even know why she is dead yet, so putting it in an obituary 4 days after she died was impossible.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Maybe because it's none of your goddamn business?

by ihand 1 week ago

Why does it matter?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

While I understand your curiosity, it's really not anyone's business if the family doesn't want to publish it. Don't be a creep.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If you're not close enough with anyone in their family to ask it's not your business.

by Cristdayana 1 week ago

I mean why do you need to know? Why does it matter? The purpose of the obituary is to let you know the person died, where the funeral is and briefly celebrate their life (aka not focus on the physical dying bit). Also, if it was self inflicted, people close enough to the person definitely know so why do you need to empathize if you're an acquaintance/stranger?

by sorn 1 week ago

I had an old friend who I sort of lost contact with during 2020 reach out in 2022 to meet up at this party at her house and rekindle our friendship. I had to work so I tried to reschedule and she never responded. She died and I have no idea how. I went to her funeral and it didn't seem to be the right time to ask her husband what happened, so I decided to wait. A couple months later he was dating someone else (now married) and so I'll never know how she died.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

No

by ssteuber 1 week ago

Because it's none of your business. That's it.

by Aware-Geologist 1 week ago

I have seen "passed away after a long illness." Or "brief illness" It depends on what the person writing it what they want in it. If it says something like donate to a cancer charity. Then you can tell the person passed from cancer. My mother's obituary had. "Passed away peacefully after a long struggle with Alzheimer's." But yeah I guess it depends.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I get this. Obviously I rationally understand why the info is kept private, but I think we want to know, or at least I do, because I want to know that it couldn't possibly have happened to me.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If Noone told you, it means it's nunya.

by Select-Report-3233 1 week ago

here in Brazil it's the law omfg why USA is like this

by Thomasbergnaum 1 week ago

Nope. It's nobody business unless the family wants to disclose information.

by AccomplishedEcho6202 1 week ago

Why does it matter to you that a friend or colleague died of Cancer, Aids, brain hemorrhage, suicide, murder, or whatever cause? What if the family did not want to disclose dementia, Alzheimer's, suicide, or some other reason?

by Anonymous 1 week ago