Getting old is not a privilege. amirite?

The phrase "it's a privilege to grow old" is usually used because if you don't grow old it means you died young. Most people view living longer as preferable to an early death.

by Pwiza 1 week ago

OP has this weirdly narrow view of what being elderly is like. I work for a nonprofit that sort of doubles as a social club for old people and it's really inspiring to see how many folks in their 70s and 80s, even 90s are doing well. It really inspires me to take care of my health and fitness because a lot of these folks are still so mentally sharp and physically capable!

by alejandra61 1 week ago

I'm sure op understands the phrase perfectly well. OP is very lonely and venting their sadness and pain to us.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I think the OP understands it perfectly. What they are saying is that a long life is not necessarily preferable to an early death if that life is going to be unhappy.

by Puzzled_Bite6312 1 week ago

I like to say "the only good thing about getting old is that it beats the alternative"

by Eldred57 1 week ago

I'm low key offended how short human life is. When you start getting the hang of it, it's over.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Can you be any more arrogant

by Anonymous 1 week ago

But does it? I think there are some people who would prefer to die young and happy than live to be old and miserable.

by Puzzled_Bite6312 1 week ago

I always use the phrase "The only thing worse than getting old, is not have the chance to get old"

by Edd07 1 week ago

Nope. It'd MUUUUUCH rather die while I still have health and energy than become a burden. Thank you.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Evidence shows that most people who predict that actually change when the reality happens to them, and do their utmost to hang on at any cost.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

That just shows we have a stupid survival instinct that is conterproductive at times and harms the ones who then have to take on the burden of caring for us.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Okay but many people remain healthy and energetic into their 60s/70s/80s. Your sentiment isn't wrong but it also doesn't mean dying very young either.

by Pwiza 1 week ago

Okay but many people remain healthy and energetic into their 60s/70s/80s Yeah but that's a gamble. All you know is that it is much more likely to happen the older you get

by Anonymous 1 week ago

But the older you get, the bar for what you consider old goes up. When you're 5, everyone not a toddler is old, when you're like 10 adults are old, when you're 18 60 is old then when you're 60, 90 is old.

by BeeDouble 1 week ago

I'm pointing out that it's a total crapshoot. Some of us will be fit and healthy longer than others. There's no guarantee. It's not as simple as saying death is easier. I wouldn't choose to live how my granny did but if I get to an older age and similar medical things happen to me, I can't say I would choose death. As someone relatively young and fit, it would be easy for me to say I would opt out. I think in my head I'd be off to Switzerland to take the euthanasia pills but... If I was actually faced with the decision, maybe I wouldn't. It's foolish to say you know for sure how you would react in such a situation if you'd not been in it.

by Pwiza 1 week ago

Point to where I disagreed with you. I just don't think you should die off early just in case it gets bad later. Of course it's a crapshoot. But every thing is. You could be in terrible physical and mental shape at 17, and you could be fit as a fiddle at 93. Life is a risk overall. Not just aging.

by Pwiza 1 week ago

There's a long gap between being in perfect health to having health so poor you're a burden on someone else.

by Neil82 1 week ago

I've gone to funerals for a 13 yo (murder), a 19 yo (lung disease), a 22yo (suicide) and, most recently, a 32 yo cousin (cancer). Getting older is a privilege not everyone gets.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'm sorry for your losses, that sounds rough.

by Pwiza 1 week ago

Thank you, that's very kind. I actually had varying degrees of proximity to each of them. Honestly, I joke and say I've been to a lot of funerals (those are the youngest). After some time working in elder care, I think life can really go all sorts of ways. Just because people get older doesn't mean they're flourishing and just because people are young doesn't mean they are, either. Life is simply a precious, and weirdly, bitter thing.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I've always felt this way but had no idea it was common. Op just doesn't understand why it's a privilege getting old. It's because you made it while so many other did not.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My grandma had a little plaque that said "Do not regret growing old, it is a privilege denied to many". That's always really stuck with me.

by One_Lion_5809 1 week ago

Most people view living longer as preferable to an early death Which is monumentally stupid

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You have to be very young to have the gal to say this. Wait till your 40 and then see if you still wanna die young and leave everybody behind already

by reymundo30 1 week ago

I never said 40 was old I said growing old DOES suck.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I never said 40 was old either, but at that age you start to see people around you dying more and more frequently and you suddenly change your view of wether you want to die young like them, or live your life longer like your parents and the parents of your partner hopefully have. You see the options and dying young is NOT the flex you think it is.

by reymundo30 1 week ago

but at that age you start to see people around you dying more and more I'd say that is one of the many reasons NOT to wanna live too long.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"heading home to an empty house and sit for days on end with no human contact" im only 41, but dont threaten me with a good time.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Right? Is there a way to achieve this life goal young?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

sadly outside of living well below your means and finding a roommate who is on board with pretending the house is empty i dont think so

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'd enjoy the chance to experience some peace and quiet, maybe even take up some gardening.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I do home health care, I've seen it go either way. It can absolutely be depressing but some of my guys choose to isolate themselves after a lifetime of dealing with people despite social anxiety. Then I have others who insert themselves into their communities and make themselves the center of it. Then there's my grandpa, who's so goddamn revered he has company nearly every other day despite being a homebody who likes his alone time Old age is often what you make of it, but circumstance really does make a difference. How much money you have makes a huge difference in quality of life when you reach that age. I'll definitely grant you that. Plus, everyone ages differently and health problems hit everyone differently as well. Aging is complicated indeed

by orndesiree 1 week ago

Thank you, kind internet stranger. xo

by Reingerorrin 1 week ago

Considering the alternative is death, yes old age is a privileg Nope. Much better to die "Young" than Rotting alive and being a burden on whoever IS still left.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I agree to a point. In fact I have made that very choice for myself. I *could* certainly stay alive longer than I am going to by taking a medical path that would render me "rotting alive" as you so eloquently put it. To me taking drugs that keep you alive but make you sick in other ways, is not an appealing option. If you're not going to appts, tests, treatments, whatever, you are in bed too miserable to do anything. That is not living, that's staying alive. That holds zero appeal to me. When I am no longer able to actually live, it's time to let go imo. But not everyone feels this way.

by Reingerorrin 1 week ago

Dude, I'm not old and I'm already there. What you describe has nothing to do with age. It's all about choice.

by Marquisebergnau 1 week ago

What you describe has nothing to do with age. It does tho. Old people are DEFINITELY more lonely on average

by Anonymous 1 week ago

There should be some sort of award for that typo/autocorrupt. I expect that I'm in the oldest 25% here, although my health is pretty good and I'm not widowed. The biggest point to me is that if you're alive, your circumstances can change. In many cases, you can change your circumstances yourself. On the other hand, dead is dead.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

None of what you said changes the FACT that the older you get the more likely you'll be sick and lonely, by a LOT

by Anonymous 1 week ago

But the alternative to getting older isn't staying young. Aging is a privilege relative to being dead.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I hope that's true. That it has nothing to do with age. Because then I can change.

by Desperate_Door1573 1 week ago

Of course you can. Everybody can.

by Marquisebergnau 1 week ago

Every day is a privilege robbed of many

by Feeling-Counter 1 week ago

For me it's complete reversal - my young days were mostly spent in extreme emotional pain, alienation, being bullied, anxiety, depression. As an adult, it is much, much better. I never wish to be a kid again, worst period of life. At least now I have my long-deserved peace and safety and I surround myself mostly with people who actually are good for me, not some sh*thead bullies whom you couldn't escape.

by CurveAwkward3866 1 week ago

What's the alternative

by Dramatic-Alps 1 week ago

You may think its sad and depressing, but that does not make it so. It just make it so for you.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Right. But that's all that matters. All we have is our perception of the world, so if it's real to us, it's real.

by Puzzled_Bite6312 1 week ago

I'm 38, but same. Parents have been dead for a very long time, and while I've lost some friends far too early, I'm still very happy to be here and hope to be here for many more decades.

by juwan86 1 week ago

You do have to work harder at social connections and relationships when you get old but it's never too late

by Educational-Try6217 1 week ago

I see aging as a privilege after my brother passed at 32 years old because he never got to turn his life around and do the things he wanted.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'd rather be able to get old than be stuck with a life expectancy of 41 like I currently have.

by Greichert 1 week ago

y u got a life expectancy of 41?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Brugada syndrome.

by Greichert 1 week ago

I'm sorry.

by Desperate_Door1573 1 week ago

I am sorry. But growing old DOES suck. I hope you are healthy until your time comes. I think that matters more than when.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Who on earth ever said it's a privilege? Getting old is an inevitability.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Getting old is a bitch

by Anonymous 1 week ago

And then we die.

by Several-Life 1 week ago

The privilege is that you have had more time to correct those deficiencies. You likely spent your decades prioritizing other things, like short term comfort, over the meaningful long term connections that you now covet. Your mistakes are your own, old person.

by Florian84 1 week ago

You're right... it's a drag getting old as the Rolling Stones sang.... There is only NOW....always has only been NOW... we enjoyed that NOW when we were young and fully engaged in life...not when we wallowed in the future fears or worried about money... when you're old, it's still NOW. NOW you're a little slower...a little achier... a little lonelier...

by Loud_Concentrate9164 1 week ago

OP must be an American Boomer. I remember when my 3 kids traveled together in Europe during my 60th, not a single phone call. Ended it for me. Funny, I find more that feel this way than don't. I just bought a Cadillac and went underground. Thankful for dogs at this point.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

All those negative issues you mention, save for the ageism, can occur and persist at any time in your life. I'm considered "old" and enjoy my life. I have deep, meaningful, and loving relationships, I socialize regularly and am physically active, and I don't care about the job market because I retired early.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Having life period is a privilege, being able to wake up in the morning where there are those that aren't waking up today is a privilege. You need to take that privilege and run with it, make it your own for your life. You may or may not want kids. You may or may not want a partner, these things are your decision to make for your life and you make these decisions based on the now and thinking on the future. Some don't care about being alone when they're 80 and others don't want to be, so you need to decide what you want and as you are living life you need to make decisions to get to that goal. You want a wife, in your 20s, 30s or whatever work on yourself so you can be in a relationship and have a wife. Life is the privilege...what you do with that is on you.

by Primary-Guidance7502 1 week ago

I know some people whose old age has been full of sickness and pain. That might not be a privilege. Depends on one's attitude I suppose. My life gets better every year. It's not perfect, but it's so much better than when I was younger. I'm pretty introverted, so being alone is peaceful to me. Many of the other changes that come with aging also suit my personality. Extroverts might need to work a little harder to stay connected in the world and find meaning later in life. Schools, charities, churches, and so many other groups need volunteers and people who want to get involved. It's possible to find community and a 2nd family. The world is full of people and animals who need help. Good luck, OP.

by Top-Lychee 1 week ago

My dad died in his 40s, I used to fear him growing old until I saw him die, then I wanted nothing more than to imagine him in his old age surrounded by grandkids. Funny how perspective works.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Getting old is not a privilege nor a curse, it's just something that will happen, people need to accept that, things will change

by Anonymous 1 week ago

A lot of what's described here has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with your own efforts cultivating longer lasting and meaningful relationships.

by rosenader 1 week ago

You'll see. We said the same things word for word.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Old people set themselves up for failure and I'm tired of the babying we do for them. The amount of boomers I've heard talk about their children like they were born to be carers is gross, and then it's made worse by absolute entitlement and stubbornness to do anything to help themselves. If you didn't make appropriate arrangements for your own care and well being in your old age then that's on you. They're not children as much as they want to be treated like they are.

by gordon17 1 week ago

Well lemme put it as a different perspective. Common knowledge is if you have any investment, compound interest is the thing that will make it grow, which takes time. You would wanna have good health to enjoy the fruit of your labour. All your friends maybe dead but if you are alive, you can die with a sports car, cocaine, and 2 hot hookers that you never able to afford when you are young.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I mean sure that's the case for some people, but not all.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

How old are you?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I hope when I get old I have some peaceful years, but eventually I want somebody show up at my door asking that I do "one last job" and I'd be all reluctant and turn them away. And then they show up at the local diner while I'm there looking at a picture of my dead wife, and give me an offer I can't refuse, leading me to embark on a dangerous and epic journey that redefines what it means to be alive.

by Late_Win_126 1 week ago

Most of these happen to young people all the time. it's not age. It's a privilege to stay alive and healthy and continue life even with all of these bad things

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Sounds like you know some really sad old people. The ones I know are regularly out with their friends, part of some church or hobby group, volunteering their time in some way, or just enjoying retirement or playing with grandkids. You can always find sad people of any age if they are not living life to the fullest.

by skylatoy 1 week ago

I don't mind getting old as long as my body is functioning the second it's not I know I will be depressed

by Emergency-Tip 1 week ago

I don't mind getting old but as soon as I find out by a doctor that there are certain things that other people have to do for me, I am ready to voluntarily shuffle off. It's about quality of life when you're old.

by Several-Life 1 week ago

So in this scenario, OP grows old and lonely with no friends because they all died and has no meaningful connections. ALSO their friends of the same age have families at home still.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Watch Dracula untold

by gmcdermott 1 week ago

It's a privilege to grow old because the alternative is dying young. That's what it means.

by bauchvirginia 1 week ago

Everything you wrote, you have the power to change, people choose to be alone. Life is about choices.

by Extra-Ad-9414 1 week ago

You just painted such an obtuse picture of aging.

by ComparisonLife 1 week ago

Feel free to become an hero at anytime. Sincerely, a geriatrician

by theodorahoppe 1 week ago

As someone with a life-limiting medical condition, growing old is ABSOLUTELY a privilege.

by Antwon05 1 week ago

Personally I'm using my last 20- maybe 30 years to do everything the heck I want to. Mostly little stuff but every now and then I splurge on a trip. I'm absolutely digging it. I am taking care of the little kid within who needed this adult in her life.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

And my friends and family are dropping like flies, believe me. I can't let it control my time on earth. I spent a lot of time grieving. Now I'm used to it :/

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I run half marathons with my 65 year old dad. It's a privilege for him to be able to do that, with or without me

by Kaia83 1 week ago

Ageism exists but so does the capacity to make life meaningful at any age.

by PlaySevere 1 week ago

If this how you choose to frame things, therapy would be beneficial.

by Super_Astronomer5909 1 week ago

Statistically speaking older people are quantifiably more mellow, relaxed, more likely to report more positive emotions than negtive ones, and they're "finding love" so much they have STI epidemics in that age group.

by Rich_Union 1 week ago

You just described me at 30

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It is because it means you have had a chance to live and experience things. My brother died at 19, he will never own his own home, get married, raise a family, travel etc. I am lucky enough to have that opportunity. To be old means you were once young and have many year's memories and experiences. While being elderly comes with it's own challenges, the only other option is to die young and miss out on everything life has to offer.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

But you are not dead... So that's a bonus.

by utorphy 1 week ago

This is something only a privileged person would say.

by Kunzeavery 1 week ago

I don't wanna be old lol

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Are you confusing privilege with happy/good time? Because they don't mean the same thing.

by ZealousidealEcho 1 week ago

Steven Tyler and Joe Biden seem to be enjoying old age. You don't have to resign yourself to a rocking chair.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's a privilege when you age gracefully. If you develop dementia it's like your brain becomes Benjamin Button. You're quite right, OP.

by Away-Ant 1 week ago

I'd have to agree. It might sound sad & vain, although I don't see the beauty or joy in getting older. I define older as in 70s, 80s & beyond. Just doesn't appeal. You hit the nail on the head with all your examples. Why would you want to miss loved ones who died like your parents? Feel & maybe look older? Health issues kick in? Less energetic? Work discrimination? Retired with limited means maybe? Overlooked by society? Really an endless list that doesn't sound pleasant. On the other hand aging is a mindset & I think if you have a loving relationship & partner, good friends & some family left it truly helps. Those who get older & are poor or lonely, yeah couldn't imagine that's a nightmare not a blessing or privilege either way you roll the dice. Guess we just have to make the most of our youth everyday & live a healthy lifestyle & surround ourselves with a few good people. & try to find meaningful hobbies & connections. My mom is in her 60s & says all the time she wants to keep getting older but wishes time would slow down. It goes fast. You blink & you're grown & old.

by Ali82 1 week ago

Sure, I can understand the depressing side of getting older and becoming largely invisible to society, but there's also a hell of a lot of freedom in that. 🤘🏻

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The problem with your scenario is you are describing someone who doesn't want to put effort in life. And maybe that is a wake up call to how you are approaching life. Because you have the power to make a great life happen when you get older. You can grow old with more meaningful connections, friends who have grown old together and make time for each other, have a house that is full of love because you don't sit for days without human contact (aka you go out and make the effort). etc etc. "People die the way they live."

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Because you're not dead and many people have died before they even hit adulthood

by Any_Juggernaut 1 week ago

Maybe you can ask those who died young 🤷‍♀️

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You could have written this for me. Thank you for expressing what I've been going through.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Because a lot of minority groups dont have that privilege.

by Ulakin 1 week ago

You just sound lonely and depressed in general, a lot of old people do have families and pets and partners and friend groups and have kids who spend time with them and go on vacations. The loneliness you're talking about can happen at any age, I was like the loneliest teenager ever.

by Kayleecarter 1 week ago

No it's not but getting old is a part of life. We all have to go through it. It's not optional for everyone alive.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

JFC. Is this your first time being alone ever? God forbid you don't get constant attention from everyone. Yes it is hard to make friends now. You're not a child anymore you have to actually work at a social life if want to have one. It's like you just expect everyone to treat you like they care. They don't. Frankly they never did. Learn to enjoy your solitude. You're not alone you have yourself. Get a hobby and try to find other enthusiasts in said hobby. Look at that you might find a friend too. You are way too old to be this much of a crybaby.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If you are healthy and wealthy, it IS a privilege. People who are will strongly disagree with you because their experience is different

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Joke's on you. I don't have any friends.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You watch younger people around you in groups with their friends going out while you head home to an empty house and sit for days without any human contact. WTF does this person think old people do? You realise old people have friends/hobbies/families/loved ones/pastimes/places to go for a drink/clubs they're members of etc etc?

by Weak_Durian6983 1 week ago

Wait so why do all your theoretical friends have other friends and families to be with but yours never visit or see you? Maybe age isn't the problem?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Loneliness does not necessarily have to do with age. I just had lunch at a Heurigen (it's a bit like wine tavern in Austria that also serves some basic food) and it was soo loud ... because of all the tables full of seniors! They're always having the best time. Most of them are from this village, so they know each other, the owners (the old parents of the current owners) also come out and sit with them, they all have wine (yes, for lunch, it's normal here in Lower Austria which is wine country), order Schnitzel and then dessert, another glass of wine, chatting, laughing. Me, an introvert, just needed an hour of complete silence to recover, lmao. You can still go out and do stuff, even if some of your friends are no longer here. We have two big (stationary) book flea markets here in my district, all managed by a team consisting of retired people. They collect all the book donations, sort them, some are in charge of selling etc. Lost of "Vereine", organisations etc. are full of old(er) people.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Its the lifecycle, life was always a terrible pay2win game with not a good story.

by Training_Pin_9322 1 week ago

hey friend, sounds like you're having a rough time. Maybe try volunteering, connecting with local facebook groups, etc. Forming connections as a kid comes naturally because we are forced to (jammed packed in a school with other kids). It's harder as an adult, but we have to go out of our way if we want to make connections. But please know that you're not alone.

by NoVisual 1 week ago

It's a privilege because the alternative is being dead 🙄🙄

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Bro that sounds magical. I can't wait to get old

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You reap what you sow.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I look up to older people that are still physically able to do things better than I can. You're looking for misery rather than inspiration.

by Party_Ideal_9384 1 week ago

I'd rather grow old rescuing cats & dogs. An animal has never let me down.

by Prestigious-Depth 1 week ago

Some of that is society. People are more individualistic and isolated now in general. But I understand your struggles, you aren't alone in feeling like this.

by Ricefelipa 1 week ago

I know 20 year olds that feel the same way about their stage in life for the same reasons you provided. I would have at least expected you mentioned something about health or stamina declining as we age but you didn't mention anything health related. I don't know OP maybe you have this unpopular opinion because you are simply living the outcome of your choices.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Agreed & death starts to approach

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Geez Dude, cry me a river. Go get some younger friends. I am getting old now, but I have a bunch of younger millennial, and Gen Z friends, because of my hobby. They are awesome, don't mind if I can't play all night, and are making me a better human being. You should try it, instead of complaining about how entitled the youngsters are. Admittedly I am not a fan of EDM, but they don't mind if I sometimes play my Disco, and Punk Rock during our get togethers.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The "your children live far away and don't visit" line bugs me a bit. I love my parents and while I'd love to visit them more often, they still live in the town I grew up in, which was a fine place to be a kid (safe, quiet, lots of outdoor space and places to play) but has zero in terms of good job opportunities and nothing to offer in the ways of entertainment or culture. I'm sure that's the case for many kids; the place you came from is not the place you want to be forever, whether due to a chosen career path or just simply not wanting to be one of those people who never went anywhere else or tried anything different with their lives. Visiting my parents is a pain in the ass. It's a twelve hour drive one way, which I have done a lot. They're close-ish to a couple airports, but my mother is the only driver and hates having to drive anywhere that involves a highway, so flying in to visit isn't really plausible and with the total time of getting to the airport, flight, travel to bus/train/etc. all it does is make a 12 hour drive into a far more expensive 6-7 hour commute altogether.

by Helena34 1 week ago

But I don't want to be done in two minutes. It's my only peace and quiet.

by Ok_Sand 1 week ago

Why are your friends your age busy with their families while your children live far away and hardly visit? Have you considered making the initiative yourself to get closer to your family? Don't give up on yourself, reach out.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I love getting older. The older I get the happier I feel. Understanding the world and knowing what's important feels great. Having a daughter also is like having a second set of eyes on the world. Ahhh life… :)

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I have a feeling OP isn't very old

by vconsidine 1 week ago

I mean, would you rather die? If the answer is yes then unironically please tell your doctor

by Anonymous 1 week ago

because you have the option to end it, or continue living. having options is a privilege

by Micahdicki 1 week ago

Growing old sucks. But it does beat the alternative.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'd rather die young before my life gets more depressing then it already is

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Hey what's the alternative to growing old?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I get to control the remote so I'm good.

by Professional-Toe 1 week ago

Be sure to go down the children's cancer ward and spread the good word.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's a privilege compared to being dead.

by Anonymous 1 week ago