It's rude when people say "I can't imagine going through that", amirite?

I think the intention is to say "I'm not going to pretend I know what that feels like"

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It's literally the least selfish thing you can say. It's telling someone that whatever reaction you have is valid. What is it that you are seeking from people to say in situations like this, where you just have to experience it to really understand? Wouldn't all you want is a listening ear from someone who isn't going to judge you? Which like I said, telling someone that they have no idea what they would do is validating that however, you feel or react is valid…..

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I think they are just trying to show empathy. Like I have no idea what you are going through but I'm so sorry. I'm not going to pretend like I understand but I care. Weird thing to get upset about.

by Major-Mix-7302 1 year ago

People tend to feel worse when you falsely say you DO know what they are going through. I accidentally did that once, I was talking to someone who was going through a rough time with a medical condition, and I said "I get how you feel." Literally the first thing she said after that was "Do you?" I acknowledged that no, I didn't really know what it felt like as I had not gone through the stuff she was going through. By saying you can't imagine what they are going through, you express your sympathies for their trying situation while not faking empathy for a situation you can't empathize with because, once again, you haven't actually gone through it.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Really? I can't imagine you feeling that way. Strange.

by RangerPuzzled9300 1 year ago

I don't say anything because nothing can make it better. I just say "that sucks"

by Anonymous 1 year ago

chaotic evil

by Relative-Figure 1 year ago

This is why I usually respond with "cool story bro"

by jeremy27 1 year ago

No. This is way better than responing with a sob story of yourself or act all sage like like you know exactly whst they're going through. This way you keep the focus on the person telling what als them instead of shifting it onto yourself.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I mean, at least its not as bad as I don't care.

by Interesting_Sand 1 year ago

So can I ask what you'd like me to say in these situations? but it really comes off and selfish and unsupportive. Can you explain why you think that?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

"I can't imagine how you feel" is an empathetic way of opening the door to let someone talk. It's a gentle way of saying "I can't relate to you but I'm hear to listen and comfort if that is what you need." It most certainly doesn't come off to rude to me, it's not like they're trying to make you a freak show. They're just trying to not downplay what happened while also offering support.

by Rueckereuna 1 year ago

You are the only person I have ever seen who's felt this way about this issue. So, I can't imagine what it's like to feel that way.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I couldn't imagine how extremely disrespectful that could be. Except that I know what they mean, and it's not what you think it is.

by Quick_Society6458 1 year ago