Living with parents is free but you pay with your mental health, amirite?

That's the twist. OP IS the parent

by Sschamberger 2 weeks ago

Are you ready for the mental tax, son?

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Not everyone has a rough relationship with their parents. I could and have lived with mine as an adult and things were fine. In fact I would say I was mentally healthier then than I am now.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Why is this your username. Why, just, why?

by cpredovic 2 weeks ago

Free boobie

by Hirtheotho 2 weeks ago

Why is yours "RedTurtle..... man..." with numbers because you aren't the first or even the second to have it.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Sounds like things that can put strain on a relationship...

by Necessary_Appeal 2 weeks ago

Exactly.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

That is absolutely a rough relationship. If the other adults in the home aren't willing to comprimise and are setting untenable rules on another adult.... thats not a good thing.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I have a pretty good relationship with my parents but I got stuck with them due to COVID for an extra 2 years and it was torture. Sometimes you're just mentally ready to start your own life and the things you want to do are impossible living in someone else's house, and that really does wear away at your mental health.

by Educational-Site 2 weeks ago

Your situation is a bit different. You were ready to go and then COVID hit you. COVID messes with your menatl health as well as physical. And pandemic years don't count as normal. Pandemic, Plus illness, Plus plans getting shot; that'll do a number on anyone.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I lived with my parents for a year after college. It was great

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

This is how I feel it should be for anyone with a good relationship with their parents.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I don't think it's about having a good relationship with your parents. I thinks it's about feeling left behind, if you're living with your parents at an older age than expected.

by Powerful-Capital7262 2 weeks ago

Living with my parents instead of blowing a bunch of cash on overpriced apartments put me way ahead of pretty much all my friends of my age group because I could buy a house super quickly with all the money I was able to save. Obviously if they're still doing your laundry, cooking all your meals, etc, that's one thing, but I don't think anybody is talking about that. If you have a good relationship with your family, you're an absolute moron to waste that on some dumb notion of what "the expected age." of things should be.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Especially since in the future you're better set up to actually help the elders

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I did exactly this to clear out the debt that was racked up while being young and dumb living alone.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I don't disagree with this. Im talking about how it might make people feel, not what actually comes from it lol.

by Powerful-Capital7262 2 weeks ago

Then the "expected" age shouldn't be 18 or even 20. Living with your parents while still young is a great way to financially set yourself up for life.

by LeadingQuail 2 weeks ago

I guess it depends on the parents but the expected age that I've come to know of is more like 23-24, Not 18-20 lol.

by Powerful-Capital7262 2 weeks ago

I was able to buy my condominium in San Diego because I lived with my parents for so long. I never had to rent and was able to maximize the savings on the costliest thing in life for most people. But now my mom is ill and I'm considering moving back in with them and renting my place out. But I'm Asian where it's very common to live in multi-generational households. The stereotype is that Asians are financially secure. But it's because of these types of sacrifices we make to get there.

by Basic-Row 2 weeks ago

Exactly, my mental health would have lead me to you know, not being alive anymore if I had to be on my own. The U.S. really needs to normalize NOT kicking kids out at 18 just because they're 18 now.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Lucky you!

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Just depends on the person. Did you ever bring anyone over to have sex?

by Virtual-Cellist-3267 2 weeks ago

You can't say for a fact unless you have the lived experience of living with your parents as an adult

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

For a lot of people, living with parents forces the parent-child relationship and thus makes adults of any age feel childish

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

It's definitely not always free to live with your parents.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

For adults I am pretty sure it usually isn't.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Not everyone's parents own their own home or are financially comfortable. I know a lot of adult children supporting their family financially.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Children, no. 18 and up, hell yeah

by PhotographOk 2 weeks ago

It is not all that uncommon for parents to charge (a usually small) rent to their adult children living with them in the United States. Or to help with the bills, etc.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Dependent entirely on people and not where.

by AdSea8186 2 weeks ago

It depends on the situation. If the kid is staying for savings, most are fine as long as they buy their own food. Some other kids need a kick in the ass to start working so parents charge them -- in this case though it's like 50/50 whether or not the parents actually put that money in a savings account to gift once the kid moves out.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Nah, my parents still made me pay AND it was bad for my mental health.

by PlaneEntertainer 2 weeks ago

Happened to me too, couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was paying to suffer.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

True 😂 when did you move out?

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

From a parent's view, we had six and three of them lived with us until marriage, one married at 21 (?) the other two closer to 30. I can't remember a harsh word since they were 17 or 18, and never any fights. Two stayed until 25 or so, one starting a business and the other building a career in music. Again, no fights or tension after around hs graduation. Our youngest didn't like us and moved out at 18, eventually joined the military, learned a skill, calls sometimes and is polite. Our parenting was not the norm, but it isn't always bad living with parents. We even moved my MIL in 17 years ago and had three generations, no fights (MIL recently passed). Pretty good financial and emotional support benefits. Some did help w rent, not a lot. Now a couple of their friends live here.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I wish I could've had this. I had to move out because my mother was abusive.

by reinhold60 2 weeks ago

So many like this, we've seen it with our children's friends. I learned from observing it. Hope you are doing well :)

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I'm the kid in this situation, 21 now but I haven't had an actual fight with my mom since I was probably 17-18. We get along very well and she's been a big supporter and help with my mental health as well and helping me save money for school. Me and my mom never really fought fought, most of our fighting was over school work not being done and stuff like that, silly little things. Me, my mom and my sister lived with my grandparents growing up. So it was always a full out - they retired 2 years ago and moved back home though so it's just me, my mom and my sister now.. I kinda miss the noise sometimes.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Yes, school was the only issue for us, one almost didn't graduate from HS, and I wish I'd been a little nicer but he made it, barely. Then he started doing audio for local bands, built a great business, and now travels the world doing all kinds of music festivals, corporate events. Not to brag, since he did all the work, but it's possible to do very well after hs. Living at home, he spent money on equipment instead of rent and I was close by for technical assistance. Now I'm asking him technical questions! Like you, I miss having them here, too.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Married at 21?? How is that kid doing?

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

My parents demanded I pay them back retroactively for the food I ate as a child

by RevolutionaryGear 2 weeks ago

I'm pretty sure that's illegal

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I think you're right

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

No interest tho? If not adjusting the price for inflation, sounds like a bad deal for them .

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I'm sorry your parents suck, my parents didn't want any one of my siblings or I to leave until we could afford our own homes. They left us alone for the most part after 18 as long as we were working towards something. I prefer it over having to deal with Roomates I don't know, my Roomate's were my parents and it was mutually beneficial for us

by lowellkozey 2 weeks ago

Congrats on being in the minority I guess.

by Leather-Praline7824 2 weeks ago

I think it's more that different people have different experiences. I wouldn't say that either of us are in the minority. My parents are immigrants their culture makes it look like a failure if they don't support their kids Before 18 was a nightmare however, pros and cons I guess.

by lowellkozey 2 weeks ago

Not me. My parents are the best.

by Naive_Sundae 2 weeks ago

only if you dont like being around your parents though

by TemporarySpare 2 weeks ago

Since I've moved out, I spend more time with my parents than I have in a long time and enjoy going over there each week to do laundry and play games. I hated living with them, though, as our lifestyles don't match up, and we butted heads often

by Vconroy 2 weeks ago

Idk I know someone who is living with his parents and has a good relationship with them and he has been way more tense and stressed ever since living with them. I think it just really depends on your personalities

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I loved living with mine. I keep asking to move back but they said no as I have my own children and a husband 🤷‍♀️

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Why can't people have healthy debates? Me and my roommate have left vs right arguments every other day, it results in no ill will, usually one of us will end up Googling it and learning something.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I do have these conversations. With people who aren't my parents. They refuse to debate in good faith and use any and all logical fallacies, but refuse to admit it, but love to point it out in others. They are careful not to be outwardly racist and LGBT+ hostile, but once the doors are closed… and when confronted by their own words, they get angry instead of debating. At that very moment, everything stalls until you apologize for being "disrespectful." Which is code for pointing out hypocrisy. I find it easier to go my room, turn my headphones on, and tune it out. It only makes everyone involved angry and exactly no one benefits.

by sferry 2 weeks ago

wHy ARe peOplE so DIVidEd?????? gee, probably cause it's hard to coexist with people who think you shouldn't exist for being too brown or too gay.

by Familiar_Practice168 2 weeks ago

Because the "right" wing isn't concerned about how countries grow -- they're concerned about how they do or don't want to die How could a productive argument come out of that

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Haha sounds like your describing my parents

by bartellole 2 weeks ago

If you have a disability they might not be legally allowed to kick you out against your will.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

You are the one that have mental problems, not them, do you realize that.So just leave

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Yes I do, but I got that you are ungrateful

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Yeah. I think you are the problem in your life. The sooner you realize this and make changes for the better, the sooner your mental condition will improve Best of luck

by Low-Neat209 2 weeks ago

It's popular now. Hate children, hate parents, and everyone goes no contact. We're in the rebellion stage from the old adage of "you must love your parents not matter what because their blood". The pendulum swung too far and now it's all parents are bad and cut them out. I've expressed how great my parents are and have been accused of "obviously suppressing memories," lol. Same with kids. We went from "When will you have kids?? You must have kids!" And now the pendulum swung too far, and now its "all kids are crotch fruit terrors" and hating kids is a personality trait. Wait another year or 2 and it will settle in the middle before swinging back again.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

My ex had to pay rent to his parents

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

That's pretty normal past a certain age, no? Not like market price for rent, but just like contributing a bit each month to the household if you work/aren't in education because you otherwise live there for free? Or are you talking while still in school?

by HippoHairy2721 2 weeks ago

Getting out was the best thing I ever did. I spent my entire 20s poor, and paying for an overpriced studio apartment. But it was the first time in my life I was able to take a deep breath and feel free and safe. I learned what it felt like to not be shaking in fear and anxiety all day. Nobody was watching over my shoulder, judging everything I did and/or threatening me. I could just wander around my own place as I liked, cook what I felt like, take up hobbies etc. Sometimes I even sang our loud, or jumped up and down in excitement, just because I could! Nobody was watching anymore.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

(Some of) The people who believe this are probably quite taxing on their parents' mental health. Some of the most ungrateful/entitled people I know are still living with their parents well into their 20s and 30s and still moan about the most rudimentary rules about borrowing the family car or having guests over. That said, I'm sure there are plenty of very fine people still living at home, for good reasons, with parents who are legitimately mentally exhausting.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Just let them know how wrong you think they are about everything, and tell them how to run their home. Parents love that.

by Appropriate_Fig 2 weeks ago

Says who? I had stayed them throughout college and had no issues.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Naaa it depends. There are actually pretty decent parents out there

by AffectionateStaff 2 weeks ago

Living with parents is not free. They just pay your expenses for you, but that does not make it free

by Jerdemichale 2 weeks ago

And what color is the sky again?

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Ha. Wait until your parents are old enough to need to live with you.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

...where tf was i for free?

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I'm sorry your parents were awful but I had no issue living with my mother and she lives with me again now in my own house because she needs help. I happily help her. She's my best friend.

by Spirited-Moment4102 2 weeks ago

It's the opposite for me. I pay a reasonable monthly rent and we have the same healthy, respectful relationship we've always had.

by Helenedenesik 2 weeks ago

I agree! And trust me as a parent they are paying too.

by Stokeshenderson 2 weeks ago

Exactly, it's not a one way street.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Unwarranted self pity Hence "my way or the highway"

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Yall are living with your parents for free???

by Affectionate_Fox 2 weeks ago

OP is a depressed teenager

by General-Deer8819 2 weeks ago

Why are you implying that most people have a bad relationship with their parents?

by Cordia55 2 weeks ago

Honestly, living with parents ain't too bad. More home-cooked meals and less rent, right?

by Dawsonrempel 2 weeks ago

Mine begged me to come back in 1996 and we were getting along fine at the time. It's not always easy to just leave, but the mental drain can be tough. So short term plum, long term lemon.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Every day man, every day

by Catharinelockma 2 weeks ago

Please provide a list of business that accept mental health as payment. I have a bit to spare if it means I don't have to pay money.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Wait until it reverses on you and they move in to your house when they're elderly. It's different and the same.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

You pay with your privacy*

by Time-Beat 2 weeks ago

I miss living with my parents. Great people and generous too.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

My mental health living with my folks past 18 didn't suffer too bad but it sure as hell wasn't free lmao

by hayleeebert 2 weeks ago

Yeah man, I hate having my mom cook for me, and sitting around drinking beer with my dad. It's the absolute pits

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Jokes on you, this is already my living situation!

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

My mom made me start paying rent in high school, and she was extremely taxing mentally, lol.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

You have the rest of your life to live alone, you only get so many years with your parents.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I was living on my own for 4 years, moved back home about a year ago and my experience is positive. My parents tend to stay in their business and I do the same. Also, helping out around the house with yard work and mantinence helps a lot for the relationship!

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

No, I contribute to the household and I make more than my dad. They kind of need me now.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Not true for me and many I know. Eventually I wanna buy my own house and tell my parents they can come and live with me. They don't have to pray rent.

by Sensitive_Edge908 2 weeks ago

If that is the case, you may need to work on that relationship. It's possible to have a healthy, equitable relationship with your parents. Multiple generation families are the norm in many places

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

My parents charged me full rent when I was living with them my first year out of college 😂 I didn't mind though, I had a full-time salaried job at that point and they'd poured so much money/time/energy into me for my entire life.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Parents trying not to impose their own ideology and trauma on their kids challenge: impossible!

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Living with my parents isn't free. It is roughly equivalent to the cost of a sketchy studio apartment the better living conditions come at the cost of my mental health.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Ron Howard: "it was not free" - I paid market value rent lmaoooo

by Resident-Camera-1892 2 weeks ago

Only if your parents are bad

by Shot_Ruin_2093 2 weeks ago

Speak for yourself. I just finished staying at home for the past 8 months while I attended college again. It was great. I missed them and they missed me. It was a nice experience living together again, but with a different dynamic. There are good parents out there, and not every child-parent relationship is toxic.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Same with going to college, except you pay for it too

by Dominiquekuphal 2 weeks ago

I actually really miss seeing my parents every day. Once you move out even if you're still in the same city it's much harder to see them regularly, which could be a good or bad thing obviously depending on your relationship. But hell I'm lucky if I get to see them once a month now for dinner.

by HippoHairy2721 2 weeks ago

This is based on the false premise that people who leave home have better mental health. This is not a given.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

My mum was always supportive up until and after I moved out. Though she did make me pay rent when I was living there. So, the exact opposite situation to yours, I guess

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I had to move back in with my folks cause I had no where to go after graduating from treatment. I got 9 months clean and sober. Before that I was homeless. I was supposed to go to one of those so et living houses because a charity offered up to $5,000 for housing costs if you successfully graduated, but by the time I got done. The funding had ran out so I had no money. I get along well with them so it's not too bad. I'd still rather live on my own, but I didn't realize how expensive everything was. I'll probably end up living in an RV once I can save enough to buy one. It's probably a weird thing to say, but some days. I think about how much easier life was when I lived on the streets. But obviously, one can't do that sober.

by margaretkuphal 2 weeks ago

Lol no u just have bad parents, or you're blaming them for a problem that something else is causing.

by jrussel 2 weeks ago

I have parents that love me..i cant relate

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

You are free to move out since it is so mentally taxing.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

cries in current real state market prices

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Guess it is not that mentally taxing.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

That is a really weird thing to say. I had no choice but to live with my parents for a long time, and they're also the reason that I attempted suicide. Some people will massively take advantage of you if they think you're backed into a corner, take out their worst impulses on you, et cetera. I have a friend who lived with her mom while said mom was selling meth at all hours to some really erratic people, because she just didn't have a choice. Poverty can trap you in some really dangerous situations, and your support system isn't always supportive. Sometimes they're really dangerous, but your only choice is to deal with them because you don't have anyone else. You're very lucky, and very privileged, not to have that experience. But that isn't everyone's life.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

Not everyone has the resources.

by elroywatsica 2 weeks ago

I did. They beg me to visit them. Hell, my own mother fell down the stairs and broke her neck and is now in a wheelchair. Drastic measures to get me back in her life after 30 years of no contact.

by Kailynborer 2 weeks ago

Over a certain age and still at home - yeah you're paying rent

by AnnualWolverine 2 weeks ago

Living with my parents was not free but I did not pay for my mental health

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

That's the western world where family values are dying.

by GlitteringGuess1254 2 weeks ago

So are you saying that in eastern cultures kids move out and stay out or are you saying that living with your parents isn't as mentally taxing? Because that makes sense for either case

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

This a completely outdated opinion and pretty much strictly American. For the majority of hunan history multiple generations of families lived and worked together under one roof as a means of survival and it is still very much this way in many other parts of the world, but here in the US we brain wash young people into thinking that they HAVE to strike out completely on their own even if they don't make it otherwise they're losers who still live with their parents. I am so tired of being shamed for this, why would you not take advantage of the amazing privilege that you have especially if you have a good relationship with your parents or other family member that you can stay with. Keep in mind I don't mean be a free loader, definitely help pitch in towards the overall well being of the household, but otherwise figure rent in a cheap city at least in Mike is at least a grand, more in other cities and that's like just throwing that money out every month

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

...and with your dignity.

by OverallRelation 2 weeks ago

Sounds like a you and your parents problem

by ena32 2 weeks ago

If.. I'm assuming right and youre saying you're 50+. I'd say that's fair. In fact any age over 18 I'd say that's fair to ask for some sort of rent.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago