+46 Being a "pick me!" isn't only limited to women, amirite?

by rasheed22 1 week ago

sometimes people forgot the meaning of "pick me"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Explain a "pick me" like I'm 5

by Anonymous 1 week ago

By this definition then guys definitely still do this

by Anonymous 1 week ago

some maybe are but some aren't, but "pick me" was most used for women, so we don't know for sure if it is a perfect definition of "pick me boy" too

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Would it not be similar to «white knight»

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah I feel like people ITT are just trying to reinvent the term "white knight" or "simp"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Being a "pick me" was definitely a thing before simping was named. Idk when white knight started getting used in that context though

by dareloyce 1 week ago

Well back the day it was either white knighting, or being a "good guy", or the neck beard fedora.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah I feel like white knights would count

by ComprehensiveLynx 1 week ago

People in general so this. It's relatively normal to an extent. Many are extra about it though.

by Best-Improvement-481 1 week ago

It's also often used by people trying to dismiss valid criticism of one's own gender, as most buzzwords do.

by No_Cranberry_8446 1 week ago

Never heard the term before, but got a understanding now. Thank you kind stranger

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I see what ya did there 😅

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Nailed it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I feel like you also defined "Social Media."

by Anonymous 1 week ago

So it is like a white knight guy

by No_Contest 1 week ago

Explain a "white knight guy" like I'm 5

by elena57 1 week ago

Does things for the approval of women, bills himself as a defender against ever present bad men, but more often is just an unwelcome interloper. Some overlap with neckbeards.

by No_Contest 1 week ago

Man who rushes to the "defense" of women being criticized online, usually in an overwrought or unnecessary way, so that he will be praised and hopefully romantically interacted with by said women.

by Fickle-Opening3873 1 week ago

usually in an overwrought or unnecessary way This also happens, of course. But a lot of the time, a man accused of being a "white knight" by other men is just showing basic respect and empathy. They'll write variations of "she ain't gonna sleep with you bro" because they can't fathom a man being nice to a woman without expecting sex in return.

by walshadalberto 1 week ago

I didn't say the accusations were right. That's just what the internet says a "white knight" is. I think most of these words are just fancy covers for "I assume negative intent in everyone I meet" or "I don't like that you're different," depending on the word.

by Fickle-Opening3873 1 week ago

Exactly. It's used by misogynists like incels as a way of trying to enforce a social order where "bros before hoes," or in other words where men have more status and rights than women.

by mariannazulauf 1 week ago

You know sometimes, it seems that I'm a "pick me" girl. But to be honest, women can be cruel towards men too. I feel bad for men, some of them don't deserve the judgement. I don't know

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"Pick me girl" has lost his real meaning, now people use it to tag girl whit many male friends, or a girl who has a "boy style", or even simple a girl who isn't really similar to the girly girl, lmao if someone random say you are pick me you shouldn't believe them, some example Op made for me are just some nice men, maybe an extra nice men, someone of them can probably be "pick me boy" but some other can't

by Anonymous 1 week ago

See: Not Like Other Girls

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Huh. I've never heard that term before. Any reason in specific you started the explanation off gender neutral and then halfway through began to target male?

by Temporary_Shower3717 1 week ago

it was a mistake, i was trying to be neutral, but i'm italian, and the male pronouns are used as neutral because we don't have one specific to be neutral, I'm going to rewrite better

by Anonymous 1 week ago

He sounds like a chameleon. When he's with the boys, he could be a compleat ruffian, while being with an intended other, he's a milquetoast.

by Allisonwiza 1 week ago

It's not limited to gender either. People can be a pick me about all sorts of things. How many times have you seen, "I'm American but I hate America" online?

by Leonvon 1 week ago

fr pick me can be about religion, ethnicity and other things

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"I'm not like other girls. I mostly have guy friends because I can't relate to girls." They tend to put down things their gender does to stand apart. It's perfectly ok to prefer not to wear makeup. It's ok to kick ass in video games. It's fine if you hate dressing up, but what makes a pick me is someone who puts others down for doing so.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"I'm not like other boys/girls"

by Legitimate_County381 1 week ago

My response to this is always. "What exactly makes me different/ there's nothing wrong being liek other girls, girls are great."

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yah i got a buddy whose entire personality changes around the ladies. He doesn't become rude or anything but just obviously tryna act really smooth lol

by Sylvia91 1 week ago

That's not being a pick me. He'd be a pick me if he suddenly started making fun of his friends and talking about how he's not like other guys and one of the good ones or whatever. A guy trying to be on his best behavior around girls is pretty normal lol I'd even say it's a good thing. I don't think you understand the meaning of pick me

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Maybe he's just down bad 💀

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This

by Zealousideal-Egg6161 1 week ago

Any time a guy says he's one of the good ones or a nice guy, it's a red flag. And he's never nicer than any of the other typical guys out there. He's either completely average or even worse than average.

by Available-Fruit 1 week ago

Yep. Anyone who's obsessed with convincing others they're a great person is usually not. I've come to mistrust even self proclaimed male feminists lol I've known men that don't identify as feminists that treat women with respect regardless of whether they find them attractive or not

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah that's not being a pick me that's normal.

by Icy-Actuator-1705 1 week ago

That always comes across as weak and disingenuous, IMO! Does it work for him?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

to me that's not "pick me". that's just him trying to get some. Does he throw other men under the bus around women?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You must hate thyself, to save thyself

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I really disagree about the period thing. Men should have basic sex education and understand periods

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Most men have a general understanding of women bodies but speaking of myself, not in depth

by Zealousideal-Egg6161 1 week ago

You might want to get more education on that, it's very useful and interesting

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah idk this is kinda disappointing it would seem to me I understand what my wife goes through. Of course I'll never know the feeling but I understand the kind of toll it can take and the limited choices of how to ease that toll. However just because we can't feel periods doesn't mean we can't show empathy. The hell else are we supposed to do?

by alexanderrobel 1 week ago

Women will say men should understand women's bodies, but then get mad if they understand women's bodies.

by Appropriate-Tip1178 1 week ago

Yeah it's just discouraging good behavior

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I hate it when men help people. How dare they

by jfarrell 1 week ago

Is people calling guys "simps" along the lines of what you are refering to?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Simps are more the kind that let women disrespect them to get in their grace because well, they are simps

by Anonymous 1 week ago

sounds like the essence of pickme

by Anonymous 1 week ago

That's exactly what a pick me is. They put down other women in the vain hope it will help them be picked by a man. Pick me, I'm not like those other women who do x.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

And "white knights"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Is that the male equivalent of "pick me" girls I take it?

by rasheed22 1 week ago

Men tend to refer to pick me men as simps while women tend to refer to them as white knights.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

There is a word for a "pick me" who is a man. That word is "simp."

by Anonymous 1 week ago

yeah but I also saw somebody call his mate a simp because he held the door for a (female) teacher holding a bunch of books 💀

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Over time…the meaning of words stretches…until eventually they mean nothing. See; "Trauma," "Toxic," etc…

by Anonymous 1 week ago

See narcissist… literally anyone does anything slightly selfish and they're a narcissist

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I really hate when that happens

by Anonymous 1 week ago

While they're similar, I do think there is a difference. When I think of a pickme, I think of anyone willing to put down their entire demographic (be it man, woman, white person, black person, etc) in an attempt to score brownie points. Think of a straight guy trying to be the stereotypical gay friend without the gay aspect or a straight woman who's a 'guys girl'. When I think of a simp, I think of someone who's way too willing to pay, lend a helping hand, all those things for anyone showing them the slightest interest. Think of someone giving a larger sum of money to a streamer specifically for the parasocial relationship.

by Destiney86 1 week ago

a simp is a people pleaser, for sure, but is not necessarily putting anyone (but themselves) down in order to score points of attention. it's interesting though that it's derogatory from male POV, but in a way that views people pleasing as a more feminine (emasculating) behaviour I'm thinking nice guy (tm) is the direct equivalent for a pick me.

by Ok-Wealth 1 week ago

I think a male pick me is a white knight. A simp is I believe a guy who worships girls. Which can overlap, but is not the same.

by Immediate-March-4570 1 week ago

yeah the other term for men is "nice guys"

by Party-Candle 1 week ago

You mean the guys who call themselves "nice guys", but they're just sexist dweebs who are bitter because women aren't attracted to them?

by Normal-Tear 1 week ago

Yeah, they call themselves nice, but they're really not. They act "nice" in expectation of sex or romantic interest in return.

by fjacobson 1 week ago

Thing is,it's an overused "insult" usually used on people who hold a different opinion.

by Comfortable-Duty5009 1 week ago

Are pickmes just white knights?

by No_Contest 1 week ago

Boasting about how you "gave your wife a break" from household chores and cleaned house/did your own laundry? Pick me. If your married aren't you already picked? -Boasting about how you literally slave away at your job working 50+ hours a week and thinking those that refuse to do the same are lazy? Pick me Why would staying how lazy people are for not working to the full was of their abilities be a pick me?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It isn't, but "Pick-me" has become another phrase to lose all its original meaning, like "gaslighting" or "Karen".

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I disagree with the understanding our periods etc. Any man could and should attempt to if they want a healthy relationship with a woman... just like we women need to understand some crucial things about men.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I think that most people just say guys who act that way are "desperate" instead of "pick me"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Ok well what about just not being squeamish about periods or buying tampons? I didn't really have a father growing up and was raised my grandmother and aunts and their daughters so it was pretty commonplace. Does giving my girlfriend a heating pad when she's cramping make me a pick me?

by Enough-Pear 1 week ago

You can't be a pick me if you're in a relationship with her.

by fjacobson 1 week ago

I've noticed a lot of these types of complaints, insults, things, can often be easily explained by sexual jealousy

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Jealousy, tribalism, and wanting to look better at someone else's expense.

by Fickle-Opening3873 1 week ago

The one thing I agree with the pick me thing is that you shouldn't need to run other people down to get laid. There's something slimey about that. But overall I agree with you. It's like people have found a way to say, "Oh, some people work at being charming and attractive? How dare they!" without actually saying it. It just sounds like jealousy.

by Normal-Tear 1 week ago

It's not really the same. Pick me girls try to be "one of the guys" and are into (or act like they are into) most of the stuff guys like. No guy is trying to be "one of the girls". Some guys try too hard for sure, but in different ways.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Unfortunately, there are guys trying to be one of the girls. I would say that OP's examples are not all indicative of this, but the pretending to understand periods, acting overly emotional and attached to feelings, etc. they do exist, and they're the worst. I also don't know that any woman finds it attractive.

by Rich-Potential 1 week ago

Yes the whole straight guy wearing nail polish thing, that was in TikTok. Most of them are just exploring self expression, but enough of them use it as a tool to get close to and manipulate women that it was noticeable. I think it does work, mostly because the people who do this are manipulative. But it sucks for literally everyone because it just leads to a regression of progress. Good men feel they can't wear nail polish, women don't feel safe, and as a side effect gender roles are reinforced. Bad actors always win because they're playing by rules the rest of us aren't willing to stoop to.

by Shaunbogan 1 week ago

Men's relationship to emotions is absolutely cultural. In the past in my culture, it used to be considered manly for a man to have strong emotions and to even cry. Heroes cried in some of the most important pieces of our literature.

by mariannazulauf 1 week ago

The essence of "pick me" is trying to put down other women to make yourself appear more favorably to men. I do agree that OP is getting the concept wrong, but some men will also put down other men to try and make themselves look better. It's just a jerk attitude regardless of gender, imo.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Men are just called simps, not "pick me[s]"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Thats called a simp

by Tasty_Abalone 1 week ago

Perhaps it's more that only women use this insult against each other? Wanting to impress the opposite sex is not unusua.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The term "pick me" was originally made to define anyone, regardless of gender, who put down their own gender to seem "better" than them to their favored sex. The term has been twisted to be exclusively for women, while men who do this get the "nice guy" term.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'm a pick me in that I just want the woman I want to want me back :')

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I've seen men do this with race or ethnicity not gender. Where they basically denigrate their entire race or ethnicity by saying, "pick me I'm not like those other stereotypes that look like me" Women do this too but I'm just pointing out that's where I've seen the majority of men do it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Pick me if I'm not mistaken was started in the black community in America. It got co opted by women.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Those are white knights. They probably are predators.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I hate that people see stuff like being nice or being honest about your life as an advertisement for me yourself lol. It's not "pick me" it's "this is me"

by Neilkoss 1 week ago

White knights are the definition of pick me men

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Isn't whiteknighting essentially pick me behavior?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

-Acting like you understand our periods/cramps/mood swings? Literally the only man I will accept this from is a trans man who has experienced it himself. Good one!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

what's your solution? that men not try to understand what it feels like to feel your pain (i.e., have empathy)? or that men acknowledge they can't possibly feel the depth of your pain, and therefore give up trying? I don't get what you and OP want here...

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I think everyone needs to be pick me to some extent. At least everyone who's heterosexual. :D Because, it would be unhealthy to have zero regard for what the other gender values if you have any interest in finding a partner within that gender. Though it shouldn't override your whole identity.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You don't have to crap on your own gender to find a partner.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

if you want partner, you want to stand out, as simple as that.

by Warm-Hovercraft 1 week ago

we just call them simps

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I don't understand how: "Someone reaching a milestone in their life, and you tell them they're x amount of years late to the game compared to you." Is pick me behaviour. It's being a douche. But I don't understand connecting it to pick me behaviour.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I find those dudes to be sinister.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This is such a popular opinion that there's already a term for it, "nice" guy.

by ryanconnie 1 week ago

They are called simps

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You're confusing the mammal dating strategy of males have to impress women. With women choosing to impress men when they don't need to

by ikiehn 1 week ago

Is this a thing? I've never heard this term in my life. Is this a younger gen thing??

by kassulkerafael 1 week ago

As a guy this is pretty funny. A lot of these are just trying to be a good guy for your lady.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Hot women get to pick. Decent women get mostly what they want. Uggos get the scraps (me)

by Anonymous 1 week ago

When people breathe? Pick me. When a man opens a door for someone? Pick me. When a woman treats her husband well? Pick me. Y'all have lost the meaning of the term. It's just "living a way I don't like or being annoying" now.

by Appropriate-Tip1178 1 week ago

This is also the case for men trying to impress other men.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yep. Correct. I was a pick me boy in high school. I'd shake your hand instead of dapping you up. Now I'm more inclined to dap you up because it's cool af.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I would feel these aren't the same as what wone do Everything you listed is more just being an asshole or wanting to brag but not necessarily a "pick me" when it comes to being a potential partner

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Is explaining a definition actually an opinion though?

by Independent-Tear 1 week ago

Overly pandering liberal "woke" men- "pick me!"

by ischulist 1 week ago

Usually when people When women say that, it's often "usually when women" in reality, and vice versa for men.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Brooo some gay men and women are suck pick me's too😭

by Anonymous 1 week ago

ya, i think youre missing the reasons theyd wanna be picked for whatever it is you have in mind

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"I'm not like those other guys" Pick me boys exist, and they are absolutely the worst. They play the same 3 chords on their acoustic guitar while bragging about that one time they took Women's Literature.

by Adventurous-Bet 1 week ago

That's why there's the term pick me gay on my side over here... Every field(?) in dating has that type of person

by langaudreanne 1 week ago

Aren't those just simps?

by Vast-Peak 1 week ago

Pick me boys have been a thing forever, I've heard them be called that online everywhere. Albeit incel or white night also works on this case, but who said pick mes are only girls?? They have pick me boy skits on TikTok everywhere

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You're describing a yuppie

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The song Ladykillers by Lush is basically about one, and it's also a great tune.

by Slabadie 1 week ago

The two gender hate groups, redpill and womensdatingstrategy, have different terms. Redpill uses the term oneitis. Womensdatingstrategy uses the term pickme. It's was never an idea that was exclusively related to women.

by KeyAmbassador 1 week ago

We call them the whiteknights

by Candid_Reveal1639 1 week ago

If you call people "pick me's" then you are being exactly that

by fmurphy 1 week ago

It's called a simp.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

ok. I'm an avid gamer, unemployed, never help any women, have no interest in learning female biology, and tell my (imaginary) wife to make me sandwiches while I kick my feet up and watch football. This your type of man?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I just came here to tell everyone that my apartment smells of rich mahogany and that I own many leather bound books.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You're not a man, if you're a "pick me." Or I should say, you're more feminine if you are.

by Tevin41 1 week ago

I'm a woman and the things you listed aren't pick me behavior. You literally don't know what it means You sound like redpill incels that call a dude doing anything remotely considering a woman or his life "simp" or "white night" But go awfully sis

by Anonymous 1 week ago

male pick-me's are called simps or pander-bears. And men do it a billion times worse than female pick-me's.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"simp" is used as the male equivalent usually

by Dizzy-Strain7190 1 week ago

I mean... true, but don t we already use white knight for the male equivalent?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

People who use the term pick me or simp are just people who are jealous of someone when they receive attention from the opposite sex.

by Mertie57 1 week ago

Technically, a male pick me would be a simp. But I guess you mean the way you do seek or keep attention.

by Imarvin 1 week ago

This isn't pick-me behavior. It requires putting down their own gender to elevate themselves.

by Jaded-Relative1071 1 week ago

I'm a woman, but I've definitely encountered this with men before. Some guys will try to put down other guys, and it's usually pretty obvious to me when it's happening (these days, anyway, since I'm a bit older and my BS detector is more refined).

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Those are captain saveahoe in my book 🤣

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This seems personal 😂

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Sounds like you just don't like competition or competitive people. It's completely normal and natural to flaunt your worth to gain attraction from the opposite sex, it's literally in our biology. You can't just call everyone a pick-mee. That's not what that means at all.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You mean some men and women attempt to calibrate their actions to attract a mate and tend to advertise it so potential suiters will prefer them over others, weird... Seriously though, there's this viral video going around where this guy is making a list of all the things that women find ick! I think he was up to over six hundred things, we should add "work hard to be an ideal version of myself yourself and not keeping it a secret" to the list.

by Outrageous_Fish_8750 1 week ago

It really depends on if they are doing it for insert gender of choice attention or if these actions are genuinely part of their character as to whether these are "pick me" actions.

by douglastorrey 1 week ago

I always sort of assumed that "pick me girls" = "nice guys." Basically gullible people with no backbone who are people pleasers and let others use them like doormats. They also SUCK at enforcing their boundaries a lot of times.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Men are pick mes to other men. Trying so hard to get the approval of guys they want to be like

by No-Land 1 week ago