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Being a "pick me!" isn't only limited to women, amirite?
by rasheed221 week ago
sometimes people forgot the meaning of "pick me"
by Anonymous1 week ago
Explain a "pick me" like I'm 5
by Anonymous1 week ago
By this definition then guys definitely still do this
by Anonymous1 week ago
some maybe are but some aren't, but "pick me" was most used for women, so we don't know for sure if it is a perfect definition of "pick me boy" too
by Anonymous1 week ago
Would it not be similar to «white knight»
by Anonymous1 week ago
Yeah I feel like people ITT are just trying to reinvent the term "white knight" or "simp"
by Anonymous1 week ago
Being a "pick me" was definitely a thing before simping was named. Idk when white knight started getting used in that context though
by dareloyce1 week ago
Well back the day it was either white knighting, or being a "good guy", or the neck beard fedora.
by Anonymous1 week ago
Yeah I feel like white knights would count
by ComprehensiveLynx1 week ago
People in general so this. It's relatively normal to an extent. Many are extra about it though.
by Best-Improvement-4811 week ago
It's also often used by people trying to dismiss valid criticism of one's own gender, as most buzzwords do.
by No_Cranberry_84461 week ago
Never heard the term before, but got a understanding now. Thank you kind stranger
by Anonymous1 week ago
I see what ya did there 😅
by Anonymous1 week ago
Nailed it.
by Anonymous1 week ago
I feel like you also defined "Social Media."
by Anonymous1 week ago
So it is like a white knight guy
by No_Contest1 week ago
Explain a "white knight guy" like I'm 5
by elena571 week ago
Does things for the approval of women, bills himself as a defender against ever present bad men, but more often is just an unwelcome interloper. Some overlap with neckbeards.
by No_Contest1 week ago
Man who rushes to the "defense" of women being criticized online, usually in an overwrought or unnecessary way, so that he will be praised and hopefully romantically interacted with by said women.
by Fickle-Opening38731 week ago
usually in an overwrought or unnecessary way This also happens, of course. But a lot of the time, a man accused of being a "white knight" by other men is just showing basic respect and empathy. They'll write variations of "she ain't gonna sleep with you bro" because they can't fathom a man being nice to a woman without expecting sex in return.
by walshadalberto1 week ago
I didn't say the accusations were right. That's just what the internet says a "white knight" is. I think most of these words are just fancy covers for "I assume negative intent in everyone I meet" or "I don't like that you're different," depending on the word.
by Fickle-Opening38731 week ago
Exactly. It's used by misogynists like incels as a way of trying to enforce a social order where "bros before hoes," or in other words where men have more status and rights than women.
by mariannazulauf1 week ago
You know sometimes, it seems that I'm a "pick me" girl. But to be honest, women can be cruel towards men too. I feel bad for men, some of them don't deserve the judgement. I don't know
by Anonymous1 week ago
"Pick me girl" has lost his real meaning, now people use it to tag girl whit many male friends, or a girl who has a "boy style", or even simple a girl who isn't really similar to the girly girl, lmao if someone random say you are pick me you shouldn't believe them, some example Op made for me are just some nice men, maybe an extra nice men, someone of them can probably be "pick me boy" but some other can't
by Anonymous1 week ago
See: Not Like Other Girls
by Anonymous1 week ago
Huh. I've never heard that term before. Any reason in specific you started the explanation off gender neutral and then halfway through began to target male?
by Temporary_Shower37171 week ago
it was a mistake, i was trying to be neutral, but i'm italian, and the male pronouns are used as neutral because we don't have one specific to be neutral, I'm going to rewrite better
by Anonymous1 week ago
He sounds like a chameleon. When he's with the boys, he could be a compleat ruffian, while being with an intended other, he's a milquetoast.
by Allisonwiza1 week ago
It's not limited to gender either. People can be a pick me about all sorts of things. How many times have you seen, "I'm American but I hate America" online?
by Leonvon1 week ago
fr pick me can be about religion, ethnicity and other things
by Anonymous1 week ago
"I'm not like other girls. I mostly have guy friends because I can't relate to girls." They tend to put down things their gender does to stand apart. It's perfectly ok to prefer not to wear makeup. It's ok to kick ass in video games. It's fine if you hate dressing up, but what makes a pick me is someone who puts others down for doing so.
by Anonymous1 week ago
"I'm not like other boys/girls"
by Legitimate_County3811 week ago
My response to this is always. "What exactly makes me different/ there's nothing wrong being liek other girls, girls are great."
by Anonymous1 week ago
Yah i got a buddy whose entire personality changes around the ladies. He doesn't become rude or anything but just obviously tryna act really smooth lol
by Sylvia911 week ago
That's not being a pick me. He'd be a pick me if he suddenly started making fun of his friends and talking about how he's not like other guys and one of the good ones or whatever. A guy trying to be on his best behavior around girls is pretty normal lol I'd even say it's a good thing. I don't think you understand the meaning of pick me
by Anonymous1 week ago
Maybe he's just down bad 💀
by Anonymous1 week ago
This
by Zealousideal-Egg61611 week ago
Any time a guy says he's one of the good ones or a nice guy, it's a red flag. And he's never nicer than any of the other typical guys out there. He's either completely average or even worse than average.
by Available-Fruit1 week ago
Yep. Anyone who's obsessed with convincing others they're a great person is usually not. I've come to mistrust even self proclaimed male feminists lol I've known men that don't identify as feminists that treat women with respect regardless of whether they find them attractive or not
by Anonymous1 week ago
Yeah that's not being a pick me that's normal.
by Icy-Actuator-17051 week ago
That always comes across as weak and disingenuous, IMO! Does it work for him?
by Anonymous1 week ago
to me that's not "pick me". that's just him trying to get some. Does he throw other men under the bus around women?
by Anonymous1 week ago
You must hate thyself, to save thyself
by Anonymous1 week ago
I really disagree about the period thing. Men should have basic sex education and understand periods
by Anonymous1 week ago
Most men have a general understanding of women bodies but speaking of myself, not in depth
by Zealousideal-Egg61611 week ago
You might want to get more education on that, it's very useful and interesting
by Anonymous1 week ago
Yeah idk this is kinda disappointing it would seem to me I understand what my wife goes through. Of course I'll never know the feeling but I understand the kind of toll it can take and the limited choices of how to ease that toll. However just because we can't feel periods doesn't mean we can't show empathy. The hell else are we supposed to do?
by alexanderrobel1 week ago
Women will say men should understand women's bodies, but then get mad if they understand women's bodies.
by Appropriate-Tip11781 week ago
Yeah it's just discouraging good behavior
by Anonymous1 week ago
I hate it when men help people. How dare they
by jfarrell1 week ago
Is people calling guys "simps" along the lines of what you are refering to?
by Anonymous1 week ago
Simps are more the kind that let women disrespect them to get in their grace because well, they are simps
by Anonymous1 week ago
sounds like the essence of pickme
by Anonymous1 week ago
That's exactly what a pick me is. They put down other women in the vain hope it will help them be picked by a man. Pick me, I'm not like those other women who do x.
by Anonymous1 week ago
And "white knights"
by Anonymous1 week ago
Is that the male equivalent of "pick me" girls I take it?
by rasheed221 week ago
Men tend to refer to pick me men as simps while women tend to refer to them as white knights.
by Anonymous1 week ago
There is a word for a "pick me" who is a man. That word is "simp."
by Anonymous1 week ago
yeah but I also saw somebody call his mate a simp because he held the door for a (female) teacher holding a bunch of books 💀
by Anonymous1 week ago
Over time…the meaning of words stretches…until eventually they mean nothing. See; "Trauma," "Toxic," etc…
by Anonymous1 week ago
See narcissist… literally anyone does anything slightly selfish and they're a narcissist
by Anonymous1 week ago
I really hate when that happens
by Anonymous1 week ago
While they're similar, I do think there is a difference. When I think of a pickme, I think of anyone willing to put down their entire demographic (be it man, woman, white person, black person, etc) in an attempt to score brownie points. Think of a straight guy trying to be the stereotypical gay friend without the gay aspect or a straight woman who's a 'guys girl'. When I think of a simp, I think of someone who's way too willing to pay, lend a helping hand, all those things for anyone showing them the slightest interest. Think of someone giving a larger sum of money to a streamer specifically for the parasocial relationship.
by Destiney861 week ago
a simp is a people pleaser, for sure, but is not necessarily putting anyone (but themselves) down in order to score points of attention. it's interesting though that it's derogatory from male POV, but in a way that views people pleasing as a more feminine (emasculating) behaviour I'm thinking nice guy (tm) is the direct equivalent for a pick me.
by Ok-Wealth1 week ago
I think a male pick me is a white knight. A simp is I believe a guy who worships girls. Which can overlap, but is not the same.
by Immediate-March-45701 week ago
yeah the other term for men is "nice guys"
by Party-Candle1 week ago
You mean the guys who call themselves "nice guys", but they're just sexist dweebs who are bitter because women aren't attracted to them?
by Normal-Tear1 week ago
Yeah, they call themselves nice, but they're really not. They act "nice" in expectation of sex or romantic interest in return.
by fjacobson1 week ago
Thing is,it's an overused "insult" usually used on people who hold a different opinion.
by Comfortable-Duty50091 week ago
Are pickmes just white knights?
by No_Contest1 week ago
Boasting about how you "gave your wife a break" from household chores and cleaned house/did your own laundry? Pick me. If your married aren't you already picked? -Boasting about how you literally slave away at your job working 50+ hours a week and thinking those that refuse to do the same are lazy? Pick me Why would staying how lazy people are for not working to the full was of their abilities be a pick me?
by Anonymous1 week ago
It isn't, but "Pick-me" has become another phrase to lose all its original meaning, like "gaslighting" or "Karen".
by Anonymous1 week ago
I disagree with the understanding our periods etc. Any man could and should attempt to if they want a healthy relationship with a woman... just like we women need to understand some crucial things about men.
by Anonymous1 week ago
I think that most people just say guys who act that way are "desperate" instead of "pick me"
by Anonymous1 week ago
Ok well what about just not being squeamish about periods or buying tampons? I didn't really have a father growing up and was raised my grandmother and aunts and their daughters so it was pretty commonplace. Does giving my girlfriend a heating pad when she's cramping make me a pick me?
by Enough-Pear1 week ago
You can't be a pick me if you're in a relationship with her.
by fjacobson1 week ago
I've noticed a lot of these types of complaints, insults, things, can often be easily explained by sexual jealousy
by Anonymous1 week ago
Jealousy, tribalism, and wanting to look better at someone else's expense.
by Fickle-Opening38731 week ago
The one thing I agree with the pick me thing is that you shouldn't need to run other people down to get laid. There's something slimey about that. But overall I agree with you. It's like people have found a way to say, "Oh, some people work at being charming and attractive? How dare they!" without actually saying it. It just sounds like jealousy.
by Normal-Tear1 week ago
It's not really the same. Pick me girls try to be "one of the guys" and are into (or act like they are into) most of the stuff guys like. No guy is trying to be "one of the girls". Some guys try too hard for sure, but in different ways.
by Anonymous1 week ago
Unfortunately, there are guys trying to be one of the girls. I would say that OP's examples are not all indicative of this, but the pretending to understand periods, acting overly emotional and attached to feelings, etc. they do exist, and they're the worst. I also don't know that any woman finds it attractive.
by Rich-Potential1 week ago
Yes the whole straight guy wearing nail polish thing, that was in TikTok. Most of them are just exploring self expression, but enough of them use it as a tool to get close to and manipulate women that it was noticeable. I think it does work, mostly because the people who do this are manipulative. But it sucks for literally everyone because it just leads to a regression of progress. Good men feel they can't wear nail polish, women don't feel safe, and as a side effect gender roles are reinforced. Bad actors always win because they're playing by rules the rest of us aren't willing to stoop to.
by Shaunbogan1 week ago
Men's relationship to emotions is absolutely cultural. In the past in my culture, it used to be considered manly for a man to have strong emotions and to even cry. Heroes cried in some of the most important pieces of our literature.
by mariannazulauf1 week ago
The essence of "pick me" is trying to put down other women to make yourself appear more favorably to men. I do agree that OP is getting the concept wrong, but some men will also put down other men to try and make themselves look better. It's just a jerk attitude regardless of gender, imo.
by Anonymous1 week ago
Men are just called simps, not "pick me[s]"
by Anonymous1 week ago
Thats called a simp
by Tasty_Abalone1 week ago
Perhaps it's more that only women use this insult against each other? Wanting to impress the opposite sex is not unusua.
by Anonymous1 week ago
The term "pick me" was originally made to define anyone, regardless of gender, who put down their own gender to seem "better" than them to their favored sex. The term has been twisted to be exclusively for women, while men who do this get the "nice guy" term.
by Anonymous1 week ago
I'm a pick me in that I just want the woman I want to want me back :')
by Anonymous1 week ago
I've seen men do this with race or ethnicity not gender. Where they basically denigrate their entire race or ethnicity by saying, "pick me I'm not like those other stereotypes that look like me" Women do this too but I'm just pointing out that's where I've seen the majority of men do it.
by Anonymous1 week ago
Pick me if I'm not mistaken was started in the black community in America. It got co opted by women.
by Anonymous1 week ago
Those are white knights. They probably are predators.
by Anonymous1 week ago
I hate that people see stuff like being nice or being honest about your life as an advertisement for me yourself lol. It's not "pick me" it's "this is me"
by Neilkoss1 week ago
White knights are the definition of pick me men
by Anonymous1 week ago
Isn't whiteknighting essentially pick me behavior?
by Anonymous1 week ago
-Acting like you understand our periods/cramps/mood swings? Literally the only man I will accept this from is a trans man who has experienced it himself. Good one!
by Anonymous1 week ago
what's your solution? that men not try to understand what it feels like to feel your pain (i.e., have empathy)? or that men acknowledge they can't possibly feel the depth of your pain, and therefore give up trying? I don't get what you and OP want here...
by Anonymous1 week ago
I think everyone needs to be pick me to some extent. At least everyone who's heterosexual. :D Because, it would be unhealthy to have zero regard for what the other gender values if you have any interest in finding a partner within that gender. Though it shouldn't override your whole identity.
by Anonymous1 week ago
You don't have to crap on your own gender to find a partner.
by Anonymous1 week ago
if you want partner, you want to stand out, as simple as that.
by Warm-Hovercraft1 week ago
we just call them simps
by Anonymous1 week ago
I don't understand how: "Someone reaching a milestone in their life, and you tell them they're x amount of years late to the game compared to you." Is pick me behaviour. It's being a douche. But I don't understand connecting it to pick me behaviour.
by Anonymous1 week ago
I find those dudes to be sinister.
by Anonymous1 week ago
This is such a popular opinion that there's already a term for it, "nice" guy.
by ryanconnie1 week ago
They are called simps
by Anonymous1 week ago
You're confusing the mammal dating strategy of males have to impress women. With women choosing to impress men when they don't need to
by ikiehn1 week ago
Is this a thing? I've never heard this term in my life. Is this a younger gen thing??
by kassulkerafael1 week ago
As a guy this is pretty funny. A lot of these are just trying to be a good guy for your lady.
by Anonymous1 week ago
Hot women get to pick. Decent women get mostly what they want. Uggos get the scraps (me)
by Anonymous1 week ago
When people breathe? Pick me. When a man opens a door for someone? Pick me. When a woman treats her husband well? Pick me. Y'all have lost the meaning of the term. It's just "living a way I don't like or being annoying" now.
by Appropriate-Tip11781 week ago
This is also the case for men trying to impress other men.
by Anonymous1 week ago
Yep. Correct. I was a pick me boy in high school. I'd shake your hand instead of dapping you up. Now I'm more inclined to dap you up because it's cool af.
by Anonymous1 week ago
I would feel these aren't the same as what wone do Everything you listed is more just being an asshole or wanting to brag but not necessarily a "pick me" when it comes to being a potential partner
by Anonymous1 week ago
Is explaining a definition actually an opinion though?
by Independent-Tear1 week ago
Overly pandering liberal "woke" men- "pick me!"
by ischulist1 week ago
Usually when people When women say that, it's often "usually when women" in reality, and vice versa for men.
by Anonymous1 week ago
Brooo some gay men and women are suck pick me's too😭
by Anonymous1 week ago
ya, i think youre missing the reasons theyd wanna be picked for whatever it is you have in mind
by Anonymous1 week ago
"I'm not like those other guys" Pick me boys exist, and they are absolutely the worst. They play the same 3 chords on their acoustic guitar while bragging about that one time they took Women's Literature.
by Adventurous-Bet1 week ago
That's why there's the term pick me gay on my side over here... Every field(?) in dating has that type of person
by langaudreanne1 week ago
Aren't those just simps?
by Vast-Peak1 week ago
Pick me boys have been a thing forever, I've heard them be called that online everywhere. Albeit incel or white night also works on this case, but who said pick mes are only girls?? They have pick me boy skits on TikTok everywhere
by Anonymous1 week ago
You're describing a yuppie
by Anonymous1 week ago
The song Ladykillers by Lush is basically about one, and it's also a great tune.
by Slabadie1 week ago
The two gender hate groups, redpill and womensdatingstrategy, have different terms. Redpill uses the term oneitis. Womensdatingstrategy uses the term pickme. It's was never an idea that was exclusively related to women.
by KeyAmbassador1 week ago
We call them the whiteknights
by Candid_Reveal16391 week ago
If you call people "pick me's" then you are being exactly that
by fmurphy1 week ago
It's called a simp.
by Anonymous1 week ago
ok. I'm an avid gamer, unemployed, never help any women, have no interest in learning female biology, and tell my (imaginary) wife to make me sandwiches while I kick my feet up and watch football. This your type of man?
by Anonymous1 week ago
I just came here to tell everyone that my apartment smells of rich mahogany and that I own many leather bound books.
by Anonymous1 week ago
You're not a man, if you're a "pick me." Or I should say, you're more feminine if you are.
by Tevin411 week ago
I'm a woman and the things you listed aren't pick me behavior. You literally don't know what it means You sound like redpill incels that call a dude doing anything remotely considering a woman or his life "simp" or "white night" But go awfully sis
by Anonymous1 week ago
male pick-me's are called simps or pander-bears. And men do it a billion times worse than female pick-me's.
by Anonymous1 week ago
"simp" is used as the male equivalent usually
by Dizzy-Strain71901 week ago
I mean... true, but don t we already use white knight for the male equivalent?
by Anonymous1 week ago
People who use the term pick me or simp are just people who are jealous of someone when they receive attention from the opposite sex.
by Mertie571 week ago
Technically, a male pick me would be a simp. But I guess you mean the way you do seek or keep attention.
by Imarvin1 week ago
This isn't pick-me behavior. It requires putting down their own gender to elevate themselves.
by Jaded-Relative10711 week ago
I'm a woman, but I've definitely encountered this with men before. Some guys will try to put down other guys, and it's usually pretty obvious to me when it's happening (these days, anyway, since I'm a bit older and my BS detector is more refined).
by Anonymous1 week ago
Those are captain saveahoe in my book 🤣
by Anonymous1 week ago
This seems personal 😂
by Anonymous1 week ago
Sounds like you just don't like competition or competitive people. It's completely normal and natural to flaunt your worth to gain attraction from the opposite sex, it's literally in our biology. You can't just call everyone a pick-mee. That's not what that means at all.
by Anonymous1 week ago
You mean some men and women attempt to calibrate their actions to attract a mate and tend to advertise it so potential suiters will prefer them over others, weird... Seriously though, there's this viral video going around where this guy is making a list of all the things that women find ick! I think he was up to over six hundred things, we should add "work hard to be an ideal version of myself yourself and not keeping it a secret" to the list.
by Outrageous_Fish_87501 week ago
It really depends on if they are doing it for insert gender of choice attention or if these actions are genuinely part of their character as to whether these are "pick me" actions.
by douglastorrey1 week ago
I always sort of assumed that "pick me girls" = "nice guys." Basically gullible people with no backbone who are people pleasers and let others use them like doormats. They also SUCK at enforcing their boundaries a lot of times.
by Anonymous1 week ago
Men are pick mes to other men. Trying so hard to get the approval of guys they want to be like
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