Single people in society don't get enough grace🙁, amirite?

I think most compassionate people generally approach single people in the same way that they approach childless couples - there's reason... it might be sad, it might be happy, it might be voluntary or involuntary - but in a lot of instances it's not really appropriate to assume, or get involved. A lot of single people don't want (and, dare I say, are angered by) sympathy or questions about being single, enough that most people aren't going to offer it.

by Odd_Maintenance 1 week ago

Especially single people that don't have a proper family dynamic

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I wouldn't anyway want a person around me whose consciously, proudly, informatively & voluntarily-chosen mindset towards me is externally controlled by either shallow attributes or by attributes that fall outside of my reasonable realm of influence.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

i know as a single dude, everywheree i've ever worked, i've been expected to be able to work late, work weekends, come in early, short notice etc. and i've been looked at as an asshole if i push back at all

by Anonymous 1 week ago

They think because you're single you have more free time ?

by Waste_Buffalo_2774 1 week ago

I noticed this too. Like if you're single you must be a boring person who's got no hobbies or commitments and should be available at all times.

by douglassam 1 week ago

And then they will still give the promotion to the "family man" who leaves on time every day because he needs the money more since he is raising a family.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I agree. High school sweetheart success story and it really hurts seeing my older sister struggle on the dating market. I sincerely wish I could help, and I try my best to do what I can with advice. I can't for the life of me try and setup a blind date with her (it gives me very creepy feelings of my selling my sister to someone) but I think she prefers that. There's a very fine line between "I'm trying to help you find the one" and "I want you to get a man because you're failing at this stage of your life". My mom falls on the oppposite side of that spectrum. A little incoherent, sorry. Point is that I absolutely do think single people deserve more sympathy. I think it's a gap in the clash between two viewpoints. There used to be a paradigm of female expectation of "I absolutely need to get married or I have failed at my one purpose on earth and will die with cats." Now we've swung hard in the other direction, where people say that you don't need marriage or an emotional bond at all to be happy. But there's a hole in that second one, and the hole is that many people actually DO associate true happiness with a successful and highly personal emotional bond. You can be as self-actualized and self-loving as freaking Gandhi, and even he was married! Four times!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

To be fair, a friend dating a relative is a recipe for disaster. Most relationships don't work out, and then your friend is your siblings ex, which is… awkward. I think its very reasonable not wanting to match your sibling with a friend.

by Ona40 1 week ago

That is fair. I didn't think about it like that.

by carmella06 1 week ago

There are huge disadvantages to being single, I agree, and society largely ignore these disadvantages. Unmarried people in the USA are also more likely to go without health insurance, less likely to own a home, etc. They don't have a partner to combine incomes with and that's part of the problem. Also, if they want kids, they have to do that alone which is financially harder and so many people (who want them) decide not to have kids, without a partner in the picture. I know great people who just never met the right person, not due to any fault of their own. Just the luck of the draw.

by Ok_Corner_6770 1 week ago

As someone who is single, I do think having a community (friends and family) is vastly more important to health and wellbeing than having a partner. Also, people feeling sorry for me for being single kinda pisses me off a little and doesn't make me feel any better about being single.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Some of us have neither

by Subject-Variety 1 week ago

people have been extremely hostile to singles for years now, even among other singles its an epidemic, and its weird

by Hour-Dog-7714 1 week ago

I would much rather get a "you don't need no man," than the weird, fake sympathy. When I was single, I had a coworker who would always be like, "how ya doin champ?" around Valentine's Day or "there's plenty of fish in the sea" or "they don't know what they're missing," etc. It was so patronizing.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I don't like either 😫 Like sometimes they don't have to say anything lol

by Waste_Buffalo_2774 1 week ago

I suspect it's because they actually think it's the most important kind of relationship, and either they are lying to be nice, or they delude themselves into believing this or that so that they don't have to face how bad reality is for so many people.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I have hosted events and people dont show up.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yep. That happened for my 40th. People bailed the day of. I have then MONTHS of notice. I'm never having a birthday party ever again.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It makes me even more frustrated when I put so much effort and people still saying that they can't meet people that have similar address. I'm just ready to give up I'm being in society in general

by Anonymous 1 week ago

What kind of events ?

by Waste_Buffalo_2774 1 week ago

I hosted meet and greet and spicier events also.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Me fr. I lived in an apartment in college with a bar, volleyball court, and pool, and people STILL wouldn't hang out when I asked. Now I can only get family to come to my birthday party.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

So... what do you want???

by Hour-Paramedic 1 week ago

Yeah if they want the significant other, they should go put a lot of effort into finding one (or work on themselves to the point where they are ready). Alllll Easier said than done

by Anonymous 1 week ago

When you lose family, you have no choices. You are alone. When you dont have a partner, you have choices. You can look.

by CartographerOk 1 week ago

my life been better ever since i no longer care so much about what the sexy bitches think about me

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah, as a man, people really assume that something is deeply wrong with me for being involuntarily single. They assume I'm unsafe or have horrible hygiene and attitudes about women. I legitimately do want someone to love and do nice things with. I want to do all sorts of romantic stuff like going to romantic spots or relaxing in the woods together. I'd like to receive flowers sometime also, but that's not mandatory. And yeah, I do want to have sex, but that doesn't mean I only view people as means to satisfy my urges.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeesh

by Stonewisoky 1 week ago

Come on bro show some grace, they just wanna be loved. I don't like how people cringe at everything lol, let the person feel!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I can't take anyone who cares about valentines day seriously lmao

by Stonewisoky 1 week ago

How rude, depression and loneliness is no joke.

by WorldOdd 1 week ago

People really need to learn how to be happy with how life is. Even if you have plans for it to be better you have to accept how things currently are and know how to make yourself happy.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Do you say the same to homeless people and folks who don't have enough to eat?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Nice false equivalency. Housing and food are necessary for survival. Being in a relationship isn't.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Bro has never heard of maslow's hierarchy of needs

by borerisidro 1 week ago

I mean he's technically right, everything is relative. Sure I contemplate suicide out of isolation but at least I don't live on the street

by Subject-Variety 1 week ago

Part right A woman can admit that she wants a partner and even bash the male gender in the process and have a very unrealistic set of standards that she claims she "is entitled to." She will get praise and a chorus of "slay, queen". If a man says "I'm just tired of being lonely," he'll be called "misogynistic" and "an evil incel" and every other name under the sun.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Spend more time on the Internet or around people under 40. Men are basically put on a watch list if they admit to being lonely

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Any example you can point to internet wise? I'm actually curious, this isn't a gotcha type thing.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's just human nature breh

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's not really something to feel sorry for someone about unless their significant other died or something though. If you have no family or friends, something bad probably happened, like you lost them or were separated from them by some circumstance. Everyone has had family and friends at SOME point. Not being in a relationship doesn't mean anything bad happened to you.

by carmella06 1 week ago

What in the world are u talking about

by Pure_Bluejay_1689 1 week ago

I think you're misconstruing what they're saying to you to feel offended. They are offering you grace. They're trying to let you see the positive in your situation. What do you want them to say? "Yeah it sucks to be you. Poor baby." Plus anyone that's been in a bad relationship knows that being single is better than being with someone just to be with someone.

by Harberterrance 1 week ago

Sometimes they don't need to say anything. I personally don't even really vent about being single to people who are in seemingly happy relationships b/c there's nothing they can really say. Yes it's better to be single than in an unhealthy relationship. However being in a healthy relationship is better than being single

by Waste_Buffalo_2774 1 week ago

The thing people aren't getting is that a romantic partner can love you in different ways that you can't get from family and friends. Okay, like what? You cannot be sexually intimate with family/friends. … so just sex?

by Fhilll 1 week ago

They tell you that stuff to be nice, cuz if you are complaining about that then it probably means you aren't ready for one. Because if you want one and put effort in to meet people you should find success before too long. Some at least. Being desperate for affection and love and validation is normal but not attractive or ideal. Desire and desperation are two different things and I notice the desperate people complain about this the most. Until you become confident in yourself you probably aren't gonna be attractive to anyone anyways. Nobody will date you out of pity. Honestly, if someone pities you for bringing this up they'd kinda be rubbing it in. I wouldn't want that. They're trying to keep from framing you a certain way but not indulging in this idea of "woe is me I can't find a lover"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I never said I don't put in effort. Also I don't complain to my loved ones about this. But I do see when single people vent about singleness people dismiss their feelings. No matter how much self love, and self esteem someone has, it wont replace the space for romance & intimacy!

by Waste_Buffalo_2774 1 week ago