+23 Marriage/Children are now a luxury, amirite?

by Ohowe 1 week ago

Children are expensive, absolutely. But marriage makes financial sense in a lot of ways. You split shared costs across two incomes. Plus the tax benefits and healthcare perks.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

DINK is great! DINKWAD, even better!!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

omg, I've never heard DINKWAD before! That will be me and my fiancรฉ in a month! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

by East_Rabbit_6365 1 week ago

what does the WAD part mean?

by kschroeder 1 week ago

With a dog

by Anonymous 1 week ago

With a ๐Ÿถ

by abdulveum 1 week ago

We are DINNWAC haha

by Alarming_Economist72 1 week ago

Now that's the dream

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Our taxes went up after we got married. But we're DINKs. And employers added on a cute little "working spouse" insurance surcharge to the monthly premium. It was $200/month at one employer. My previous employer refused to cover spouses or domestic partners at all starting in 2023. Employee or employee + child(ren). No second adult covered. My husband and I carry our health insurance separately, except for a couple of years I worked as a contractor and paying the premium was way cheaper and offered much better coverage than the horrendous "plan" my employer offered.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Two Incomes = Who's raising the kids? One Income = We can't afford to pay our bills.

by fkris 1 week ago

It makes sense until it doesn't. IE divorce can absolutely cripple people.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Can confirm. 0 of 10 stars. Do not recommend. Serious note: choose your partner wisely.

by Kallie20 1 week ago

The only problem with that idea is you can't see the future. The girl I fell in love and married when she was 24 was a vastly different person than the 42 year old woman I divorced. You have no idea who someone is going to turn into as they grow older.

by huelsdylan 1 week ago

Yeah, but you have those girls that have a baby with a man who has 4 and does nothing with the other children. RED FLAG!!!!!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yep. Yep.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"Yeah lots of people get divorced but we never will!"

by RestaurantJazzlike78 1 week ago

Can attest to this - and I'm engaged going for #2. Pre-nup in the works this time.

by ondrickakeaton 1 week ago

Nice! Congrats. "Fool me once, shame on youโ€ฆ"

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yea and the issue is when the government can tell you your married without actual signing a legal contract be careful gents family court is NOT your friend.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Those perks may or may not exist. Taxes might even go up, mine did.

by Hillscruz 1 week ago

Yeah this is definitely region specific

by RestaurantJazzlike78 1 week ago

What are the general tax benefits and healthcare perks that come from marriage?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Every time someone refers to tax benefits of marriage, I can tell they're not Australian. In Australia, tax is calculated individually, whereas government benefits are per couple. The financial and benefit all goes to the government.

by Darrickosinski 1 week ago

There's tax benefits when you're married? I don't think that's always the case.

by Double-Calendar 1 week ago

Marriage ruins men's lives as we have a court system designed to take everything from them

by Michaelohara 1 week ago

The opposite, I'm trapped in an abusive marriage and if I leave the courts will leave me homeless.

by Michaelohara 1 week ago

Sorry I jumped to conclusions, but I think you should try and get as much evidence as possible and speak to a lawyer. They do free consultations.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Courts are almost always against the abused. My son just had to get a PO against his ex. The judge gave it, but reluctantly. Same judge wouldn't give my daughter one when she had marks on her from her ex-husband. He said that she had to talk to her ex because they have a child together. He wouldn't even add a provision that allowed someone else to drop their child off. You tell me courts aren't corrupt and sometimes against women. Courts are horrible. This is why I tell everyone not to get married, it's the leading cause of divorce.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

That is absolutely not the same no matter the gender, women don't have a court system that's overwhelmingly stacked against them.

by Michaelohara 1 week ago

They are just so easy to make.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Childbirth doesn't sound easyโ€ฆ

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Getting pregnant is ๐Ÿ˜† unfortunately

by Anonymous 1 week ago

People have completely insane ideas regarding how much it actually costs to raise a child. Those articles quoting it at โ€˜$1,000,000 per child' are asinine

by Budget_Arachnid 1 week ago

I've never seen anyone say it costs $1M to raise a child

by Luettgendestany 1 week ago

From birth to college makes sense. College tuition is expensive, that's why a lot of kids take out student loans to pursue their education

by Due-Jackfruit7591 1 week ago

People are just horny. That's all.

by Business_Key 1 week ago

I can't even imagine how y'all afford daycare these days. My kids are 26 and 24 and it was expensive for me. Now it's like a second house payment.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It feels like a luxury not having children.

by EmphasisTime 1 week ago

Friend of mine had his first kid just over a year ago. Recently spoke and told me he regrets it. Said he loves his daughter but wishes he could go back and pull out lol. Too expensive he says

by Green_Ad_368 1 week ago

This is a major fear of quite a lot of child-free people. It's one of the reasons I never became a mom and am relieved I was cornered into a hysterectomy medically.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Well he works a minimum wage job lol so that might be it

by Green_Ad_368 1 week ago

lol anything and everything is too expensive on minimum wage.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah I probably should've added that initially to be fair

by Green_Ad_368 1 week ago

The problem then isn't that kids are too expensive, it's that he's not a better provider!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Single taxes and self-reliance ain't no joke x_x. Married people do better financially because they can switch jobs & pursue education more freely so long as their partner is working.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'm sorry your mother is pressing you for grandkids. I recently found out that neither of my adult children want to have kids. I always wanted to be a grandmother, so I was pretty sad about it, but I told them each honestly that I didn't have them to get grandkids. It's wrong to push people to have kids for any reason. I hope that if you do want kids someday, finances won't always stand in your way. And if you don't, I hope your mother accepts that.

by zhilll 1 week ago

How is marriage a luxury? You and another person are gonna have to go through life anyway with food, a roof, electricity whether you do it together or not? Two households costs more than one. A wedding can be $100 down at the courthouse.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My wedding was $50 plus a tip for the Justice of the Peace at the courthouse! Soooo much less stressful than the idea of planning a wedding

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This is why I don't want kids, I guess they could be nice but the financial drain is rough in today's world especially if you want multiple.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I've definitely seen an uptick in very wealthy people having a lot of kids as a status symbol.

by bhagenes 1 week ago

You are 27. Everyone I know has kids at 37. Work on your career first, get promoted, so you can afford to have kids later.

by Malcolmmertz 1 week ago

Most sensible answer

by Marianasanford 1 week ago

I'd be like ok you sign this contract promising to pay for everything then

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This isn't unpopular

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Depends on how she's raised and how her view on things has been shaped. I grew up in a poor household, had to make do with hand-me-downs, and even when I reached my teens I didn't hold it against my parents. To this very day I don't care where clothes come from as long as they're comfy and fit. lol.

by DesignerComfort8117 1 week ago

Not at all, this is mainly because people want to have a large house to put kids in. In poorer countries people totally accept living in tight spaces and have lots of kids. I get that it sucks to see your quality of life going down. The kids themselves don't take a lot of expense typically, it's the related stuff that you could technically live without. Larger dwelling being the main one. Or people having tos desire to own a home when it's currently a lot cheaper to rent in most places, even accounting all the costs and opportunities associated with either owning or renting.

by maejerde 1 week ago

Definitely agree! It's also our way of living. It's still quite common in some places for an entire family (mother, father, kids, etc) to share a single home; used to be the norm in western countries too, but it changed over time. I think quite a few people believe it's super expensive to raise kids because society has made us think kids need all this random crap to be happy and what not. They don't. Can't speak for all places, but where I live there's a lot of support for buying things such as nappies too.

by DesignerComfort8117 1 week ago

Ask your mom if she is willing to help out with childcare. Also, children do cost money, but they are as expensive as you make them.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Already is

by Narrow-Marzipan 1 week ago

Like what someone else said, a lot of people are having kids in their 30's nowadays. 27 is still pretty young, and alot of the time (but not all the time), people are more financially stable in their 30s and 40s

by Anonymous 1 week ago

No they aren't a luxury. How much do you think it costs to raise a child? Those โ€˜$1,000,000' figures are complete BS and absolute nonsense. There are households in Appalachia pulling in <$20k/yr with multiple children, this is where I grew up, and all of my friends were in similar situations but were never homeless, never starving, etc. We probably lived lives of relative luxury compared to most of the world. Don't poorer people typically have more children? How is it a luxury?

by Budget_Arachnid 1 week ago

Because they live and rely off the government ๐Ÿ™„

by Narrow-Marzipan 1 week ago

Marriage is not a luxury. My marriage license cost me $100 and 20 minutes of my time. Children? Definitely

by Fun-Safety 1 week ago

Did I write this in my sleep.. cause literally same.

by Icy_Air9738 1 week ago

I was told my by every single parent that you were never be financially prepared for a child

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Marriage is not expensive. A big wedding is if that's what you mean. I eloped back in 2015. It was pretty cheap. The money was better spend on having a child.

by NaturalFox9394 1 week ago

I'm definitely plan on having kids

by Thielocie 1 week ago

I have two, they are now 25 and 30. They're the best decision I ever made. I raised two kids, now I have two best friends.

by Pearlquitzon 1 week ago

My 28 year old son says kids are way too expensive and why bring them into a dying planet. I can so understand his points, I am sorry your mom doesn't see it.

by Most_Development 1 week ago

Marriage is definitely now just for the ones who can afford it (or should I say a wedding) Yes kids are a big financial burden but isn't limited to the wealthy as lots of people who aren't is a good financial situation end up having them.

by RestaurantJazzlike78 1 week ago

I mean you don't even have to have a wedding at all. Just get married. My wedding was $6k all in and that included a riverboat with an open bar. You can do things cheaply if you try

by Joel80 1 week ago

Years of being fed nonsense by society (the media, family, etc) has fooled folk into believing they need a fancy wedding in order to be married. I've seen people who aren't Christian want to be married in a church with a priest - why? You don't need fancy dresses, rented tuxedos, limos, churches, priests, etc. The only legal requirement for a marriage is the marriage certificate. Plus, you can always host a more fancy do later on in life if you really want to.

by DesignerComfort8117 1 week ago

No one is ever ready for kids. Pull the trigger. You'll adapt.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It depends on where u live. A day at the lake is 7 dollars per car. Girl Scouts is 25 dollars for the year. and they go apple picking, pumpkin patch, corn maze, and ice skating all included. Boy Scout is 50 dollars per year. The splash pad is 2 dollars per kid. The river is free. hikes are free. the roller skating rink is 10 dollars per kid. Our small local zoo is 6 bucks for kids and 9 for adults. Going down a snowy hill on a tube or sled is free. going out for ice cream is less than 25 for all.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah there are lots of cheap and free things to do. And even when daycare is not part of the cost it is still expensive to raise children. Trying to feed them with proper nutrition and clothing them is a huge bill monthly for all the years that they will be dependent on the parents. Im cutting out nearly all luxuries and privileges for myself and so is my husband- just to afford feeding ourselves all properly. Spending ridiculous amounts on food alone every month and still feel like there is barely any food in the house at the end of every week- and that is with using coupons, buying discount items, skipping most of the expensive processed snacks and premade food, not buying anything name brand, trying to shop bulk where possible, and making most of our meals/snacks/condiments from scratch just to save a couple dollars. The financial struggle is so real. No one should feel belittled for admitting that it is really hard and expensive to afford life with kids

by Fancy_Light3851 1 week ago

omg. i am an over thinker you mentioned be littling. do you think I did that. If I would of followed the rule don't have kids if you cant afford them. Then I was never going to have kids. i have schizophrenia. hard to find good paying job. the most happiness I ever felt was after having kids

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Don't worry about it. You didn't say anything rude or wrong necessarily. I was just saying it's ok to talk about the financial hardship of raising kids. I agree it is so worth it and I love my children so much and get a lot of happiness out of motherhood. There are always things to do to get by and cut expenses so it is definitely possible to afford kids even on little money. And those with little money absolutely should be able to have families too. A lot of people are not getting paid enough across the board compared to how much things like a place to live and food to eat cost these days.

by Fancy_Light3851 1 week ago

That's all true, but daycare is like $1500/kid/month

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'm in TX, luckily we do qualify for assistance and that's the only reason we can afford it lol

by Anonymous 1 week ago

parents - daycare for free. that is if they want to be grandparents and pressuring op to make kids.

by Good_Extension6608 1 week ago

Always has been.

by norval37 1 week ago

Not an unpopular opinion nobody is having babies and marriage rates are down

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I have dreamed of having kids since pretty much forever, and I just feel like I'll never be able to afford it.

by ndavis 1 week ago

Kids aren't a luxury, they're family.

by Pearlquitzon 1 week ago

Insanely popular take

by Repulsive_Age_2527 1 week ago

it should be a luxury morally, not financially; if only having a good head on one's shoulders was instead the requirement... unlike your mom...

by zackary44 1 week ago

Children don't have to be expensive - it's all about lifestyle. If you prioritize having children and staying home with them, and marry someone who can provide for your family (or if you can be the provider) and is open to one of you staying home, it can be very easy to have kids. Daycare is the biggest expense, it costs triple what my university did!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I went through the baby section the other day and looked at the price of baby formula. It was more expensive than my skincare routine. I don't understand how parents can afford kids if they aren't financially stable first. Having kids is one thing, raising kids is two things.

by Due-Jackfruit7591 1 week ago

Kids are expensive, not just moneywise. If you have kids with the wrong person, you and your kids can get screwed for life.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The OP literally said they want kids but their life can't support it. Reading comprehension.

by jerderosemary 1 week ago

Marriage doesn't require wealth, or children.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

actually. having kids is for the poor and for the rich. the middle class are the ones who can't afford it. the poor have tons of kids. more than anyone. they just have the government pay for them.

by Monroe10 1 week ago

i am poor and live around poor people; they have a lot of children. who cares though

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Marriage is stupid. Children are cool though

by Green_Ad_368 1 week ago

Having one child isn't very expensive, unless they have to go to daycare. Then it becomes VERY expensive. The problem is that 2 parent incomes are almost mandatory these days, so the child would probably most likely have to go to daycare. The risk of being a single mother is also astronomically high as well, making childcare, again, expensive. But if all else is going well, having a child is cheaper than paying for Netflix, Hulu, an IPhone 15 etc.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Despite the logic of needing more money if you're going to have children, birth rates remain the highest among the poor. Wealthier people know that one of the ways you remain wealthy is to remain childless.

by hester05 1 week ago

This couldn't be more wrong. Wealthier people tend to have more kids simply because they can afford it.

by Yostalbin 1 week ago

They have always been a luxury.

by Welchheather 1 week ago

It's a scam not luxury the government made marriage to make money from idiots

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yeah, that $100 marriage license was a total rip-off. I definitely don't pay thousands less in taxes each year because my wife and I file as a married couple. They really got me.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Uh, millions of parents all over the world

by Joel80 1 week ago