+26 The friend who has never been in a relationship doesn't give the best advice. It's quite unfounded and lacks understanding, actually. amirite?

by Icy_Whole 4 weeks ago

In my experience, the "always single" friend gives the best reln advice notion came into picture because they haven't had to adjust their aspirational relationship with reality. And so, their advices seem better because they reflect the idea of a "perfect/dream relationship".

by Anonymous 4 weeks ago

TLDR - where did you see an example of the friend who's never been in a relationship giving great advice being popularized. Granted, I'm older and I don't follow many things that are likely to be popular with young people. But this idea certainly isn't popularized anyplace I'm aware of.

by AccessCrazy 4 weeks ago

It's all over social media and a lot people consider it relatable so I'm going to assume a lot of people agree. It's likely you haven't seen it if you're a lot older, but I imagine anyone who's somewhat familiar with internet culture and is not over 35/40 may have heard this.

by Icy_Whole 4 weeks ago

When I hear people say relationships take alot of work, they tend to be people who and get cheated on and keep trying to "work it out" and such. Or some level of abuse or manipulation is going on.

by Anonymous 4 weeks ago

Maybe so but it's still good to get an outside opinion

by Anonymous 4 weeks ago

Yo I totally agree. If your relationship feels super confusing you should get another person's perspective. I just disagree that the single friend who has zero long term relationship experience is somehow the wisest about relationships. It's the wisest that I am disputing. Sometimes they can have a certain commonsense perspective which can be useful but they really lack the gritty first-hand understanding that I feel is essential for meaningful solutions.

by Icy_Whole 4 weeks ago

I think the single part is less relevant for me. I have wise single friends and immature friends in relationships

by Anonymous 4 weeks ago

Let me ask you something about this very single friend… Are they the observant type? Have a tendency to overthink? Are they single but super social? Or are they single and very solo? You see the single person who is very solo, who also tends to overthink, is always watching, not overly judgmental? That person has been predicting human behavior for decades. It's the reason they prefer to be single.lol I'm this person. I was a hairdresser for a long time, and I heard everybody's story. Guess what? There's only about four different versions out there of any story that you could tell me about. So you start to tell me what's going on, and I know how that is gonna end. People are so predictable I mean, look at the world. It's the same since the garden. Men blaming women for their lack of a backbone. Siblings attacking each other because they are jealous. People huddled together in kingdoms fighting over who is God and who is not and what customs are legal. I don't know you're single friends, but maybe don't write them off so quickly.

by Anonymous 4 weeks ago

I did mention that they have the ability to give good advice depending on who they are. But I also think it's greatly exaggerated and definitely not the best. I'm not writing them off but I just don't think they genuinely understand long term dynamics. I don't know you but I'll believe you if you say you are super observant and know a lot about dynamics through observation. But you would have to literally be observing two people when they're alone to fully grasp their dynamic or be in a similar situation, at least. Don't you think?

by Icy_Whole 4 weeks ago

Well, yes, that is true. Though I believe that people fall into four different groups, one could argue that the details make every relationship unique. And when I apply your logic of not being able to observe two people when they're alone to grasp their dynamic I have to wonder if anybody's qualified to give advice to anyone in any situation.

by Anonymous 4 weeks ago

That's fair. I guess the point I am making is that having experienced something is valuable to giving advice. And not having experienced it sort of inhibits your perspective and understanding.

by Icy_Whole 4 weeks ago