+46 Everyone should be actively avoiding dating apps. amirite?

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I want to agree with this on a certain level but my social impediments and the fact that I met my wife on a dating site are preventing that.

by Gabe03 3 weeks ago

Dating apps are just a tool. I have social anxiety, so they've helped me dip my toes into dating gradually. At least when I match with someone on an app I know where there for the same reason. It removes a lot of the nervousness about approaching someone in a romantic or sexual context. I also don't want kids, and I like the fact that I can be upfront about that, and hopefully match with like-minded women. It's not like I get a ton of matches, but odds are I would've never dated if it weren't for dating apps. Men outnumber women on most apps, so I try not to take it personally when I rarely get likes or matches. Dating apps can absolutely suck, but if you adjust your attitude they're not so bad. Sometimes they impact my self-esteem, and that's usually a sign that I need to take a step back.

by Wilmer50 3 weeks ago

to me the big problem is that for so many people, they're the only tool. Honestly, unless you're a hottie, it seems so counterintuitive for your only way to "put yourself out there" to be an app that's pretty much "look at someone and judge them quickly" To me they're a good supplement to "putting yourself out there irl", the trick with that being that putting yourself out there irl takes a lot more time and energy than swiping

by Jchristiansen 3 weeks ago

This.

by lorirogahn 3 weeks ago

I met my gf of two years on Hinge. It's definitely a crap shoot a lot of the time but there can be success if you are intentional and find the right person.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Me and my wife are homebodies that don't drink. We meet online and the rest is history. I get op's point but if you're only searching in the pool of people you see during your day to day that pool is very small.

by Gutkowskielnora 3 weeks ago

So did my husband and I lol.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Outliers exist. I know there's people who have had great success on them. But I really don't think the majority of people who use these apps should be

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

perhaps the people with success with it aren't the ones complaining about it?

by Remarkable_Wind 3 weeks ago

Okay so test it out. You know if you are fine enough for it to work within a day. If it's not you should delete it

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

and i'm sure many people do exactly that… they tried it out…go for a few dates (or not) and then delete it if it does or doesnt work out hating on something because they're unsuccessful all the while continuing to use it…i bet the person has other issues that needs attention

by Remarkable_Wind 3 weeks ago

If you're looking for a life partner and not a random hookup how is it fair to measure your success after one day of use 😂

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Why not try to be an outlier? It's really easy to use. Doesn't take very long to do. The pay off for doing it could be one of the most cherished things in your life. I haven't come across a form of dating that was easy yet.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I've never used a dating app, so take my opinion for what it's worth. Don't dating apps have user profiles and bios where people describe themselves and their likes/dislikes, relationship goals, etc? In real life, if you are hitting on strangers in bars/clubs, at the super market, etc you have nothing to go on except for looks. Obviously if you are asking someone out who you met via a shared interest/hobby, etc that's different.

by Master_Position_8983 3 weeks ago

You don't find a girlfriend/boyfriend at a bar. You find friends (or possibly a hookup) and your relationship possibly builds up from there. If your weird as hell your not going to be friends at the end of the night. Meeting someone online is no where close to how much you can figure out about a person if you meet them irl

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

But you can learn more about them in the 60 seconds to read their bio than in 60 seconds of interacting. It can save time and wasted conversations

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I agree talking to someone irl is far superior to talking on an app or reading their profile. The apps just allow you to hit on hundreds of women at once instead of a few at a bar.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

You can go to any place outside of your house and meet someone you've never meet before.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

That's true. You can still do that and be on dating apps at the same time..

by Moenaniyah 3 weeks ago

I mean I tried this by going to work but I already know all of these people.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

There's a reason people don't date at work

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I'm a trans dude. No I cannot do that. I don't know how people will react irl to it so I use dating apps for safety.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I'm trying to go out more but after 50 hrs of work, going to the gym on 3 days, and donating plasma on 2 I'm usually exhausted by the weekend. Adding in my sleep schedule for work making late nights hard and I have to find activities I'm interested in during the day that I can maybe meet someone.

by Raymundovolkman 3 weeks ago

I used badoo and most of my matches are women outside of the country wanting to come to Canada. I'm starting to think Badoo is almost a dead app

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Hinge is easy. Can just reply to the prompt

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

opposed to me chatting up random women in public, How do you think people met before dating apps were invented?

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Sounds like someone is in denial of their Hot Person Privilege ©

by Padberglenna 3 weeks ago

Ashley Madison was found to have mostly fake women, I wonder if dating apps do the same thing.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Chile idk nobody named Ashley Madison

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

There's a Netflix docu on it. Website for cheating spouses got infamous after data hack unveiled 37 million cheaters.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Oh I'll check it out after work then

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

If you can make great connections with people without the apps, that's awesome. I personally loved the apps, they suited me really well and I had a lot of success with them.

by Successful_Canary 3 weeks ago

Have you experienced being single after 30? Life is busy. Where are you going to meet people? The bar scene sucks. Approaching solo people at the park or at a store is creepy. Dating a coworker is complicated. I don't like dating apps but yeah, it's rough out there.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Out of everyone I've been in a relationship I never met any of them at a park, a store, or work. A bar once though.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

These are literally all excuses, except for the coworker one.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Thanks, it's how I met my fiance

by Repulsive_Diver 3 weeks ago

I go out. Turns out the women I meet are almost all in relationships because of the sorts of activities I engage in.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

want all what? 90% of men on dating apps just dont get ANY matches. That is it... I mean yah they are completely useless. But it is not the fault of the men at least lol

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I have actually used dating apps when I was around 18-20 for hookups. So I'm not a stranger to it, I just don't think that was my best move. Everyone I met in person rather it was just a hookup or an actual partner always was so much more authentic.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I wholeheartedly agree that meeting people in person is better, unfortunately not the easiest thing to do for everyone. For me personally, my social circle is very small so no parties being thrown and I'm usually too busy and/or tired (see busy) to go out and try to find myself a social scene. When I do try dating, apps are usually the only real option unless I want to run myself into to ground. I do usually drop them after a week or so once I'm reminded how much they suck, lol.

by Raymundovolkman 3 weeks ago

that is false and not backed by stats According to PEW, a little over 50% of men on apps rate their experience as "positive" or "very positive" so stands to reason a little over 50% of men must be getting a good amount of matches, or at least a few quality matches

by Express_Advisor 3 weeks ago

But it is not the fault of the men at least Well, I'd say that's not totally true. I think a big part of the problem is that there are so many men on the app and they outnumber women. And many men swipe right on every single woman which is why women end up with 1000+ likes to have to sift through. If men weren't clogging up a woman's likes even if they weren't interested in her, there's a good chance more men would get matches.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

That's true, seems like an impossible problem to solve

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I think a big part of the problem is that there are so many men on the app and they outnumber women. And why do you think that is? Do you think sex is easier to get for men or women?

by wisozkzion 3 weeks ago

It is the fault of men though! guys fundamentally use dating apps wrong by swiping on like 90% of the women they come across. It's counterintuitive but if you're pickier on the apps, you're more likely to have your profile put in front of someone "your type" because the algorithm knows who your type is

by Jchristiansen 3 weeks ago

I think that's a common misconception because it sort of assumes men and women use the same logic on apps. Women aren't just using apps to find the hottest guys to hook up with, they want to find partners and people they connect with on a deeper level. With Hinge especially, if you send a like to a lady than you end up in her queue, you at least know that she will look at your profile. Obviously there's no magic beans that will guarantee that the girl you fancy likes you back, but I really do believe a majority of guys shoot themselves in the foot with their swiping habits and profile curation

by Jchristiansen 3 weeks ago

This just sounds like cope lmao. I don't know anyone who couldn't get ANY matches Most guys I know have used them have at least had a couple of hook ups/ few proper dates. I met my girlfriend on one

by Monahangayle 3 weeks ago

I mean if you're on a dating app and you aren't getting matches it's literally just because your pictures aren't cute. So who exactly is the blame for someone not getting matches?? Their parents?

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

No one is to blame... But even guys with cute pics get ignored when a woman has +1000 likes to wade through. I just went on a date with a beautiful woman who said my pics were cute... I've got about 15 likes on my profile.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

So be real with yourself. You're cute to HER. But you have 15 likes so obviously not to a lot of other people. This isn't to be mean. I'm just saying like one person thinking you're cute obviously isn't enough if you want hundreds of likes.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Well, I don't need 100s of likes, and I don't have any illusions about myself, lol. The point is that if a woman at her level is into me, I might be getting more likes among a pool of 100 guys rather than 1000, or 5000, or however many the average woman gets. There are so many men vying for a single woman's attention that being reasonably good-looking isn't enough to even the odds. My experience talking to women is that they have no idea how big the difference is in the experience between genders on apps.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

My problem with dating apps is how they're just unromantic. I want to tell people a better story for how I met someone, rather than just, "oh we met online."

by Turbulent-Lie-7566 3 weeks ago

I'm pretty sure everyone feels this way! But most people, especially after going YEARS without life throwing any meet-cutes their way, become a bit more open to meeting someone through an 'unromantic' route. Better to try your luck on the apps - which do have some proven success - than to commit to meeting someone through chance and increase the risk of it never happening.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Yeah that's fair

by Turbulent-Lie-7566 3 weeks ago

Why though? Meeting stories aren't always romantic. If you met the love of your life but the story wasn't "romantic" enough, would you also have a problem with that?

by mhilpert 3 weeks ago

I think that's fine for other people, I just wouldn't prefer that for myself. And I have a hard time believing that I would meet the love of my life like that.

by Turbulent-Lie-7566 3 weeks ago

You have a hard time believing you could meet the love of your life in a non romantic way?

by mhilpert 3 weeks ago

That isn't what I meant. I mean there are other unromantic ways to meet someone I love, but a dating app specifically just feels forced to me

by Turbulent-Lie-7566 3 weeks ago

I'm not saying every unromantic story is bad, I just don't prefer dating app ones. And in my opinion any boring story is more interesting than saying we met online.

by Turbulent-Lie-7566 3 weeks ago

Exactly. Even though none of my stories have been interesting of how I've meet people I still would much rather say "oh we meet at a party of a mutual friend" than "tinder"

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Isn't the whole point of all this to find the person that you will fundamentally connect with and build a life together? Why should how you met even be on the radar? As someone who has been in a very happy relationship, for a very very long time, I can tell you that how you met shouldn't be a consideration. Use whatever tools are available to find that one. I've watched a ton of relationships crumble in that time, and quite a few had wonderfully romantic meeting stories.

by Patient-Product 3 weeks ago

That's good that that worked out for you, but I think it's okay for me to want something different. And how people meet each other does some times play a part in whether they spend the rest of their lives together

by Turbulent-Lie-7566 3 weeks ago

How will people date without dating apps? Society is long past meeting people face to face in all forms.

by esther55 3 weeks ago

They're definitely toxic and skew your view on dating in general but it's so difficult to find other ways to meet people nowadays :/

by Independent-Play-914 3 weeks ago

I don't get any of it. It just all seems like another narcissistic extension of social media. What do people actually expect to find on them? Id never explore that as an option. I've heard too many horror stories and id rather be alone anyway.

by BigFirefighter2140 3 weeks ago

This isn't really an unpopular opinion. Pretty much everyone agrees that dating apps suck

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I'm not really getting that impression lol

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I think, like most things, the key is to just be normal about it. I used Tinder for awhile while I was single, hooked up, dated some, and ended up meeting my partner who I am very much in love with. I also didn't get a match every day or anything, I'm a normal looking guy, and I'm certainly not rich or anything. You sound really jaded and angry about it, so I think you're correct. YOU should not be on dating apps, but those of us who can handle it like adults, can certainly be.

by Equal-Candle 3 weeks ago

Handle what though? Anyone can use these apps let's be real. It's not exactly a hard thing to do. But at the same time I think it's literally the worst way to meet someone. It would be more romantic to meet someone in jail.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I ain't ugly so I can't relate.

by Imogenefisher 3 weeks ago

I don't see why non ugly people would have even been on there in the first place like-

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Let me be clear, I have commit issues. I'm on there for pick up games so I can practice my shots

by Imogenefisher 3 weeks ago

I personally don't unless I'm 100% sure of my feelings. I don't want to hurt someone just because I've a temporary fling over someone because a heart is a terrible thing to break.

by hnicolas 3 weeks ago

I never used one so I don't really have anything to worry about

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I avoid but for different reasons. As a guy I've noticed more than half of the lady profiles are fakes. Another quarter is usually scams or possibly just the site trying to draw you in.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

As a gay guy it's quite difficult to meet someone in person ahah

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I'm gay too actually. I do a lot of social things so I make friends. Friends lead to partners. Strangers don't lead to partners.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I don't like the concept of dating apps, I never used them because never felt comfortable with their concept.If you are going to talk to someone with the purpose of dating them, I feel it takes the authenticity out of it all. I could say so much about this, but kinda difficult to put into words

by elenor52 3 weeks ago

Yeah dating apps cause toxic men and women to think theyre in the right. Its kinda sad.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Im ahead of the game then. Tried it once. All set on that.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I think it might be harder to get someone face-to-face because people are less likely want to be spoken to.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I mean you do have to read the room.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I get what you're saying, but as someone who has met his significant other on a dating app and have been happily in a relationship that never would've been possible without dating apps… I can't agree with you. Like, at all. I think it would make much more sense to say that people going on dating apps should just be as prepared as possible for how it might make them feel. Men, especially.

by Joycarroll 3 weeks ago

Never used them personally, but once youre out of school its nearly impossible to just go talk to strangers and start a relationship in the wild now... I know a few people who were kinda ruined by dating apps, and at least 3 who met their future spouse through one (including my parents.) So its hit or miss, the key is to just be normal abt it I think.

by Ok-Secret7317 3 weeks ago

Sounds like you should be avoiding em. People whose opinions go "everybody should" need to be ignored. You don't know what's best for everyone. You sound entitled and bitter.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I'm convinced that if everyone listened to me no one would be single but everyone wants to just make life harder. But that's just my opinion, maybe I'm a narcissist

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

If it doesn't work for you that doesn't mean everyone should avoid them.

by Janae33 3 weeks ago

It could work for me, it could work for you, and it could work for anyone else. But meeting in person will always be superior to meeting on an app.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Never used one. Hard agree

by AdvancedDelivery 3 weeks ago

Preach 🙌

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Apps by their nature rely on dopamine hits - whereas in real social situations, while first impressions matter - they can be tempered. As Michael said in the Good Place: "Humans make a lot of mistakes when they're horny".

by mandyfunk 3 weeks ago

Nah I met a great girl there. I disagree. You can get lucky

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I wouldn't call this an unpopular opinion. You just sound like you got your feeling hurt and are salty. Dating apps are what you make them. When I used them for hookups I got laid. When I used them to find someone to date, I found someone and have been together 5 years.

by oconnellbell 3 weeks ago

Nope my wife and I never would have met without it.

by connmarc 3 weeks ago

Always had good luck with them until the 2016 pay to win era began.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I met my bf on a dating app and it's the best relationship I've ever been in. I also appreciate how you don't have to figure out if someone's looking to date, since that's what everyone is there for. It makes life easier

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

My sister and her now husband met on a dating app and are expecting their first child together. Happy as can be. Just because you haven't had luck on dating apps doesn't mean others also haven't

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Apps are about the only way some people can meet others

by Xruecker 3 weeks ago

Sounds like someone got rejected a bunch on a dating app

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Dating apps are good simply because everyone on them is trying to date. Yea if you meet your S/O out n about that's great but avoiding dating apps is like running a race with ankle weights

by Ornery_Employee 3 weeks ago

Sure, Jan.

by EbbCool 3 weeks ago

WRONG. Hot dudes and any women should be on dating apps. If you're male and not at least an 8/10, you will get no right swipes.

by Padberglenna 3 weeks ago

Damn, I got social anxiety leave me alone

by maiya74 3 weeks ago

I met my husband on Tinder. We would not have met otherwise. I spend 40 hours a week at work with all women. On the weekends, I would sometimes try to go and meet folks, but I have terrible social anxiety. In college I just never had anyone interested in me. I had two relationships from dating apps. One amazing, one terrible. A handful of bad dates. A few ghosted. I'd say my experience with dating apps was terrible, but I did meet my husband, so that does change it. It's a viable option in today's world. It's very hit or miss.

by Faymosciski 3 weeks ago

I have never used dating apps because due to the amount of child molesters and pedophiles on them.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I've never had this experience so I believe you may be ugly or unlikable. In my experience, talking is mostly a pleasure and people are mostly just interested in sex and conversation. Which is what I expect

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

You realize that for some people dating apps are like shooting fish in a barrel right? No reason those peopel should avoid them. People should protect their mental health and avoid these apps if they aren't like 8/10 or above Imo. Also if you just like in real life interactions and cute meets better. Always been more that way myself.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

No thanks. I mean thankfully I don't have to use them anymore, but I'd rather have a basic idea of who the human is than some strange person coming up to me and approaching me. I don't function that way homie.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I actually have a few friends who have been in long stable relationships that have met on dating apps. Not me though 😂 Anythings possible.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

You forgot to mention the desperation

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Lol this sounds like an ugly problem. Which would be a problem trying to find dates in face-to-face settings. Tip: don't be ugly

by LunchJolly4345 3 weeks ago

I found my current girlfriend via a dating app. It took a little while, but it worked out. I also got a couple of matches prior to matching with her. Idk, maybe I just got insanely lucky, or live in an area with particularly low standards. 🤷🏼‍♂️

by Pkertzmann 3 weeks ago

I think they peaked like 4 years ago. I don't hear about people using them much anymore (besides people online). They made sense during COVID, but now it's probably mostly people who are single for a reason.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I'd rather be told I'm ugly on an app than told I'm ugly in person

by NoManufacturer9056 3 weeks ago

Dating apps are mainly for casual sex. There are people who lie to themselves and act like it isn't but it is. Every single woman I ever met on a dating app was down on the first date.

by Ok-Campaign 3 weeks ago

There's 100% people who use dating apps for genuine dating. What was even the point of saying that

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

He's exaggerating, but it's true thats what the vast majority of people are on there for. i was naive about this at first too.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I guess my question is what does that have to do with my opinion

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

The point? It's true. If you're going in with the mindset of finding a long term relationship you're doing so in an environment that isn't set up that way. It's like going to a bar just for the food but acting like most everyone else isn't there for the alcohol.

by Ok-Campaign 3 weeks ago

What's true? What you said originally is still not true.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

Let my boyfriend of a year and a half on a dating app so maybe I shouldn't really speak on this matter lol

by Local-Value7350 3 weeks ago

i understand where this is coming from but at the same time it feels like youre telling people with anxiety to go f themselves, its not easy to date if youre not very sociable. i also feel like social media makes this way worse then what it actaully is. generally most people are pretty chill., yes theyre are toxic people on there but you could go on a date the way you want and the person is just hiding that theyre totally unhinged. thats not the app thats just humans, dating is very much like playing the lottery or gambling

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I see your point. To me it feels like the opposite actually. You aren't nervous to meet someone when you meet them naturally. I think you become nervous when you create a version in your head of someone you've never met and also have to hope they like you. None of that exist if it just happens naturally and in the moment.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago

I've had two successful relationships I've found via apps

by Curious-Fee 3 weeks ago

Dating app have huge benefit - most people there are single and looking for at least chat or date. People I meet irl have unknown status and I don't meet that many. and I know bunch of couples what met on apps and happy.

by Anonymous 3 weeks ago