Everyone should be actively avoiding dating apps. amirite?

I want to agree with this on a certain level but my social impediments and the fact that I met my wife on a dating site are preventing that.

by Gabe03 1 year ago

Dating apps are just a tool. I have social anxiety, so they've helped me dip my toes into dating gradually. At least when I match with someone on an app I know where there for the same reason. It removes a lot of the nervousness about approaching someone in a romantic or sexual context. I also don't want kids, and I like the fact that I can be upfront about that, and hopefully match with like-minded women. It's not like I get a ton of matches, but odds are I would've never dated if it weren't for dating apps. Men outnumber women on most apps, so I try not to take it personally when I rarely get likes or matches. Dating apps can absolutely suck, but if you adjust your attitude they're not so bad. Sometimes they impact my self-esteem, and that's usually a sign that I need to take a step back.

by Wilmer50 1 year ago

to me the big problem is that for so many people, they're the only tool. Honestly, unless you're a hottie, it seems so counterintuitive for your only way to "put yourself out there" to be an app that's pretty much "look at someone and judge them quickly" To me they're a good supplement to "putting yourself out there irl", the trick with that being that putting yourself out there irl takes a lot more time and energy than swiping

by Jchristiansen 1 year ago

This.

by lorirogahn 1 year ago

I met my gf of two years on Hinge. It's definitely a crap shoot a lot of the time but there can be success if you are intentional and find the right person.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Me and my wife are homebodies that don't drink. We meet online and the rest is history. I get op's point but if you're only searching in the pool of people you see during your day to day that pool is very small.

by Gutkowskielnora 1 year ago

So did my husband and I lol.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Outliers exist. I know there's people who have had great success on them. But I really don't think the majority of people who use these apps should be

by Anonymous 1 year ago

perhaps the people with success with it aren't the ones complaining about it?

by Remarkable_Wind 1 year ago

Okay so test it out. You know if you are fine enough for it to work within a day. If it's not you should delete it

by Anonymous 1 year ago

and i'm sure many people do exactly that… they tried it out…go for a few dates (or not) and then delete it if it does or doesnt work out hating on something because they're unsuccessful all the while continuing to use it…i bet the person has other issues that needs attention

by Remarkable_Wind 1 year ago

If you're looking for a life partner and not a random hookup how is it fair to measure your success after one day of use 😂

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Why not try to be an outlier? It's really easy to use. Doesn't take very long to do. The pay off for doing it could be one of the most cherished things in your life. I haven't come across a form of dating that was easy yet.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I've never used a dating app, so take my opinion for what it's worth. Don't dating apps have user profiles and bios where people describe themselves and their likes/dislikes, relationship goals, etc? In real life, if you are hitting on strangers in bars/clubs, at the super market, etc you have nothing to go on except for looks. Obviously if you are asking someone out who you met via a shared interest/hobby, etc that's different.

by Master_Position_8983 1 year ago

You don't find a girlfriend/boyfriend at a bar. You find friends (or possibly a hookup) and your relationship possibly builds up from there. If your weird as hell your not going to be friends at the end of the night. Meeting someone online is no where close to how much you can figure out about a person if you meet them irl

by Anonymous 1 year ago

But you can learn more about them in the 60 seconds to read their bio than in 60 seconds of interacting. It can save time and wasted conversations

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I agree talking to someone irl is far superior to talking on an app or reading their profile. The apps just allow you to hit on hundreds of women at once instead of a few at a bar.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You can go to any place outside of your house and meet someone you've never meet before.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That's true. You can still do that and be on dating apps at the same time..

by Moenaniyah 1 year ago

I mean I tried this by going to work but I already know all of these people.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

There's a reason people don't date at work

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I'm a trans dude. No I cannot do that. I don't know how people will react irl to it so I use dating apps for safety.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I'm trying to go out more but after 50 hrs of work, going to the gym on 3 days, and donating plasma on 2 I'm usually exhausted by the weekend. Adding in my sleep schedule for work making late nights hard and I have to find activities I'm interested in during the day that I can maybe meet someone.

by Raymundovolkman 1 year ago

I used badoo and most of my matches are women outside of the country wanting to come to Canada. I'm starting to think Badoo is almost a dead app

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Hinge is easy. Can just reply to the prompt

by Anonymous 1 year ago

opposed to me chatting up random women in public, How do you think people met before dating apps were invented?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Sounds like someone is in denial of their Hot Person Privilege ©

by Padberglenna 1 year ago

Ashley Madison was found to have mostly fake women, I wonder if dating apps do the same thing.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Chile idk nobody named Ashley Madison

by Anonymous 1 year ago

There's a Netflix docu on it. Website for cheating spouses got infamous after data hack unveiled 37 million cheaters.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Oh I'll check it out after work then

by Anonymous 1 year ago

If you can make great connections with people without the apps, that's awesome. I personally loved the apps, they suited me really well and I had a lot of success with them.

by Successful_Canary 1 year ago

Have you experienced being single after 30? Life is busy. Where are you going to meet people? The bar scene sucks. Approaching solo people at the park or at a store is creepy. Dating a coworker is complicated. I don't like dating apps but yeah, it's rough out there.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Out of everyone I've been in a relationship I never met any of them at a park, a store, or work. A bar once though.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

These are literally all excuses, except for the coworker one.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Thanks, it's how I met my fiance

by Repulsive_Diver 1 year ago

I go out. Turns out the women I meet are almost all in relationships because of the sorts of activities I engage in.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

want all what? 90% of men on dating apps just dont get ANY matches. That is it... I mean yah they are completely useless. But it is not the fault of the men at least lol

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I have actually used dating apps when I was around 18-20 for hookups. So I'm not a stranger to it, I just don't think that was my best move. Everyone I met in person rather it was just a hookup or an actual partner always was so much more authentic.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I wholeheartedly agree that meeting people in person is better, unfortunately not the easiest thing to do for everyone. For me personally, my social circle is very small so no parties being thrown and I'm usually too busy and/or tired (see busy) to go out and try to find myself a social scene. When I do try dating, apps are usually the only real option unless I want to run myself into to ground. I do usually drop them after a week or so once I'm reminded how much they suck, lol.

by Raymundovolkman 1 year ago

that is false and not backed by stats According to PEW, a little over 50% of men on apps rate their experience as "positive" or "very positive" so stands to reason a little over 50% of men must be getting a good amount of matches, or at least a few quality matches

by Express_Advisor 1 year ago

But it is not the fault of the men at least Well, I'd say that's not totally true. I think a big part of the problem is that there are so many men on the app and they outnumber women. And many men swipe right on every single woman which is why women end up with 1000+ likes to have to sift through. If men weren't clogging up a woman's likes even if they weren't interested in her, there's a good chance more men would get matches.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That's true, seems like an impossible problem to solve

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I think a big part of the problem is that there are so many men on the app and they outnumber women. And why do you think that is? Do you think sex is easier to get for men or women?

by wisozkzion 1 year ago

It is the fault of men though! guys fundamentally use dating apps wrong by swiping on like 90% of the women they come across. It's counterintuitive but if you're pickier on the apps, you're more likely to have your profile put in front of someone "your type" because the algorithm knows who your type is

by Jchristiansen 1 year ago

I think that's a common misconception because it sort of assumes men and women use the same logic on apps. Women aren't just using apps to find the hottest guys to hook up with, they want to find partners and people they connect with on a deeper level. With Hinge especially, if you send a like to a lady than you end up in her queue, you at least know that she will look at your profile. Obviously there's no magic beans that will guarantee that the girl you fancy likes you back, but I really do believe a majority of guys shoot themselves in the foot with their swiping habits and profile curation

by Jchristiansen 1 year ago

This just sounds like cope lmao. I don't know anyone who couldn't get ANY matches Most guys I know have used them have at least had a couple of hook ups/ few proper dates. I met my girlfriend on one

by Monahangayle 1 year ago

I mean if you're on a dating app and you aren't getting matches it's literally just because your pictures aren't cute. So who exactly is the blame for someone not getting matches?? Their parents?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

No one is to blame... But even guys with cute pics get ignored when a woman has +1000 likes to wade through. I just went on a date with a beautiful woman who said my pics were cute... I've got about 15 likes on my profile.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

So be real with yourself. You're cute to HER. But you have 15 likes so obviously not to a lot of other people. This isn't to be mean. I'm just saying like one person thinking you're cute obviously isn't enough if you want hundreds of likes.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Well, I don't need 100s of likes, and I don't have any illusions about myself, lol. The point is that if a woman at her level is into me, I might be getting more likes among a pool of 100 guys rather than 1000, or 5000, or however many the average woman gets. There are so many men vying for a single woman's attention that being reasonably good-looking isn't enough to even the odds. My experience talking to women is that they have no idea how big the difference is in the experience between genders on apps.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

My problem with dating apps is how they're just unromantic. I want to tell people a better story for how I met someone, rather than just, "oh we met online."