There's nothing wrong with staying celibate till you want to do things yourself with someone. amirite?

I feel like the whole "I gotta lose my virginity" thing is just a 90's movie trope.

by Real_Estimate1415 1 year ago

More like an 80's theme.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

And 70s, that was basically what the movie Grease was about?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I wish. I had a "friend" who begged me not to have sex before she did. The second I did it, she rushed it with some rando and then was mad at me every day until I had to drop her. And to this day is like "I don't know what I did 🥺".

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It was fairly common when I was a teenager around 2010. I'm not sure it's changed that much. It's only when I've gotten older that I've realized what a silly thing that is.

by keara68 1 year ago

Yeah, right.... finally someone agreeing to it

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You aren't looking for celibate but abstinence. I honestly wouldn't wish celibacy on anyone unless needed.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

What's the difference?

by Nadia06 1 year ago

Just use Google. Celibacy is never having intercourse. Abstinence is waiting until marriage. When people say celibacy they usually mean abstinence.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Many people overhype sex in different ways: 1) that you have to start early and have as much sex as possible; 2) that you have to save yourself till marriage or a meaningful long-term relationship to have sex. Imo, they're all setting themselves up for disappointment: sex is fun but it's not a profound intimate and spiritual experience that you need to attach so much importance to it that you actively avoid having it because "it has to be special". Do whatever you want but don't judge others for having safe consensual sex and don't be surprised if you end up in as a sexually frustrated 50 year old in a sexless marriage and a list of partners of exactly 1.

by Herzogsammie 1 year ago

Nobody's judging anybody Better to not have sex than have sex with different people and regret wasting your time with them. As for spiritual people specially, better to have one partner as it hinders spiritual practices and may not be something comprehensive to most people in the society. Apart from sex, getting to know people and knowing their past helps forming bonds and being intimate with them without sex brings better results and long-lasting relationships.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You've attached a moral stigma to sex that isn't needed. Maybe it is for you, which is fine, you're free to think whatever you want; but at the end of the day the significance you are giving it is not there for most people and is likely based on your experience growing up in a world influenced by a version of morality impacted significantly by what Western religions have become. Tons of people aren't going to "regret" having sex, they're just going to move on as life goes on. You're also acting on the belief that the end goal of sex is always a long term and closely connected relationship, when in reality a lot of people just view it as a fun activity that you can take part in to meet your physical needs. Essentially your entire argument revolves around there being a definitive point to sex, which, aside from biologically there objectively isn't. Your view can actually be quite harmful, as you are attributing so much worth to the act that you are viewing those who enjoy it with the "wrong" partner as a negative, and you're acting on the assumption that anyone who has sex with someone other than their long term partner will regret it. This is the basis of people who end up trying to make rules for everyone else based on their own views to "protect" people from this or that when in reality they just end up forcing their viewpoints down everyone's throat.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

People's reasoning might be questionable but you're right. There's nothing wrong with it

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This is still a thing in 2024? 🤨

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Very much

by Antique_Fact 1 year ago

What does the phrase "still a thing" mean exactly because the question is about sex. None of us would be here without sex so yes…..discussions about sex and celibacy etc are "still a thing"….as evidenced by you being alive. Sex isn't going anywhere, neither is the choice not to have it. Thankfully having a choice about having sex is still a thing in 2024 yes.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Yeah the thing is people usually get seduced, even by accident. The first time I had sex was just because a hot girl winked at me at a bar. If someone is more introverted and wants to ignore flirting that is their call to make, I wouldn't shame them.

by Possible_Meaning 1 year ago

Live your life in a way you are comfortable. Same with others. With the obvious caveats.

by UpbeatComposer4290 1 year ago

Is this unpopular? You've been watching too many 90s romcoms

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You mean, there is nothing wrong with abstinence from sex, celibate and abstinence are not the same, people can be celibate and still have sex. Either way, how often do adults actually worry about this/judge other people for not having sex? In my personal experience, this might be a thing for teenagers/very young adults, past that, I have seen or heard of people trying to push this only a handful of times. Most people, again, based on my experience, seem to judge more, and more negatively, people who do have more sexual encounters/more relationships that also involves sex. That said, I agree that there is nothing wrong with this, each person is different and what works for one doesn't work for another; doing something only because of social/peer pressure, whether in one sense or the other, very rarely gives the best, or even good, results.

by wolfara 1 year ago

The problem is finding a partner who is also celibate would be nigh impossible… So you end up with someone who has had other sexual partners, then you get upset about it

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I say, we're all adults here and we can do whatever we want, so long as we're being responsible. Nobody should be shamed for their choices

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I used to feel the same way, but seeing where that mindset has gotten us I'm not so sure anymore. Most days it feels like civilization is regressing.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I agree with what you're saying. We're losing our way every day but shaming people just makes us terrible people. I poke fun at, point out ironies and put people in their place everyday but it's not like shame is going to make them better people

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I poke fun at, point out ironies and put people in their place everyda So you say nobody should judge people and yet you di it every day? Hyprocrisy at its absolute finest

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Judging and shaming are two different things. If i judge people and they get the message, cool. If they don't, cool. Not to mention, most of these people shame me for not sharing their opinions

by Anonymous 1 year ago

People should absolutely be shamed for their choices. Look where not shaming people has gotten society.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

In Hinduism, it's called the Kaliyug, the darkest age, where morality sucks, greed, anger and all the things that shouldn't be normalised are sadly normalised.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

When in American society has greed or anger not existed?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

When in American society has greed or anger not existed? Um, when in the world has it not existed?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Oh this applies to the age we are living in, not just a specific zone or country.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Obviously shame isn't a thing in today's society anymore, I know that BUT you can't shame grown adults into changing. All we can do is discuss our values with young people and hope they take the correct route. Am I encouraging promiscuity? Hell no. I hate it but that's going to change that person. You can always talk to them and try to explain your pov but you have to trust them to make their own judgement

by Anonymous 1 year ago

What did shaming do for society when it was popular to do?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Nothing wrong with it .... But your just missing out 🤷🏻‍♂️

by Anonymous 1 year ago

And why this needs to be told to people? Some people simply cannot get laid and its not their whole worth as humans.

by lucienne31 1 year ago

You are not missing out if it's the right person, that's exactly what I'm trying to highlight. It's about the person, not the physical sensation.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

As a woman, I think it entirely depends on the person. I'm entirely the opposite of promiscuous, but I think physical pleasure is far more important during sex than ‘the person', and if you're not feeling a lot of intense pleasure, well, the whole thing is kind of meaningless and not worth it. That's just my experience as a very odd person, admittedly, but I think discounting the plain old physical sensations/enjoyment in favour of ‘emotional connection' is not the way.

by ApprehensiveHall 1 year ago

Not at all

by Anonymous 1 year ago

There is nothing to miss out.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Speak for yourself

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Or you just give everything sexual up and actually your body adjusts to not getting anything. Dating isn't worth the wasted time.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

There's definitely that.

by ApprehensiveHall 1 year ago

Thats sad but hey you do you

by Anonymous 1 year ago

And just as many proving otherwise. No lol, you can't just say that. Those studies don't exist. You would need to cite that. I agree with the rest, I am not sure why people care what other people do with their sex lives.

by Wehnerphoebe 1 year ago

You would need to cite that I agree cites are good. Can you point out the OPs?

by windlerclifford 1 year ago

What are they considering a successful marriage? Are they doing the study until the couple dies?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

First of all, don't for a second try to shame people who have sex before marriage. Secondly, what studies? Show me some links. Lastly, be you and be celibate don't try to imply it's better for everyone.

by Justicemosciski 1 year ago

Firstly I've clearly mentioned nothing wrong in having sex before marriage, especially if you're going to end up with that person, Secondly, never said it's better for everyone, just mentioned that it's good people normalise doing when they want to instead of jumping into things just to fit into the norm and regretting later.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Virgins panicking about how to have sex and eventually make this excuse 😭

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Incel talk lol

by lorenamertz 1 year ago

literally the opposite

by After_Palpitation_72 1 year ago

Think of what the word incel actually means and then get back to us.

by Anonymous 1 year ago