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The loneliness epidemic is not taken seriously enough when it affects women, amirite?
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
This pretty much. Nothing about the outside world matters like for where I live very little has changed but nobody just hangs outside anymore because there is no reason too. There would have to be some collective decision that everyone just goes back to how it used to be and that will obviously not happen without some form of free entertainment.
by Wrong-Aioli3 weeks ago
I've seen countless videos of karens just getting mad at kids playing outside as well. Then they complain about kids spending all their time inside. Well maybe if you werent a bitch, Karen and let kids be kids.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
It seems like more fun when your lizard brain is getting that dopamine hit, but if somebody asked me to replace my childhood playing outside and hanging with friends getting into stuff with playing Roblox and watching YouTube; I think I speak for everyone when I say that would be a no.
by Nleuschke3 weeks ago
Be that as it may, these games and social media platforms are designed by literal PhD scientists to be as addictive as possible. Are we really surprised then that kids would rather stay at home playing Fortnite and scrolling through tiktoks?
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
You're trying to use what memories you currently have to make your argument. If you were born around the same time his sister was you could very much think Roblox and Youtube is fun compared to going outside but since you grew up before those things were around of course you spent your days outside hanging with friends.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I like video games, but when I stay inside all weekend playing them, even though it's fun, it doesn't hit the same as making a memory with people you love.
by Nleuschke3 weeks ago
I think it's partially that, but also partially because parents don't kick their kids out of the house like older generations did. "Come back at dusk, don't get into any trouble I've gotta hear about." But they've been sold and bought into the fear that everyone's out to abduct/abuse their kids, despite the fact that it's become far safer since the 80s and 90s to be a kid wandering the neighborhood by themselves.
by antoinetteokune3 weeks ago
Started way before the 90s. I was an 80s baby so I get what you mean, but this has been our trajectory for a hundred years at least. Somewhere we decided it was more important to monetize every place and interaction than it was to have happy fulfilling lives.
by okeefemariano3 weeks ago
I live next to a dispensary and every night when it's nice out, a half dozen of the employees hang out after work and talk and laugh. I used to do this all the time. I rarely see or hear of this anymore but I love seeing them do it.
by jimmypurdy3 weeks ago
I've been saying for years there death of neighborhood churches was absolutely huge. Not for the church or religious aspect, but it semi functioned as a community center and hub. We need to revisit that and try to create community parks, gardens, spaces to just exist, have dates, go for walks, play, teach hobbies, create things, share food and things like that.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Parks also exist but all third places that are free also tend extremely underutilized. Also a lot of old people when I was a kid used to go to the malls to walk around. I don't know if those still exist or not but I think a lot of people still go there Just to walk.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
It's more than just the lack of third spaces. It's a cultural thing. I hate to say it, but you can build all the free third spaces you want, and people will still not commune. Heck, we do have free third spaces everywhere---parks, libraries among them. And still the vast majority of us will not use them. And I can imagine if you stuffed us all in a third space, we would spend the hours glued to our smart phones. We have a loneliness problem, and the destruction of free third spaces has exacerbated that problem, but right now, the real issue is a cultural problem. We've lost the desire and ability and confidence to socialize.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Wow that's quite a take. I know women that love casual sex, and I know (and am a) men/man that cannot stand it. Personally, I physically can't make it happen at all without some emotional or romantic component. Conversely, lots of my women friends, and I quote, "think of it like exercise". Not my jam, but good for them! I'm with you on with the red pill weirdos, but I'm weird about you putting "liking casual sex" along gender lines, because it isn't.
by elenadietrich3 weeks ago
Please women love casual sex and have it alot more than men we arent that diffrent, the only reason they talk about emotional connection is that they have so much sex that they want to go to the next best thing and men are still stuck in the want to have sex phase more time because we have alot less sex its just that simple.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
lolwut?
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I disagree. Whenever there's a discourse about female loneliness the most common opinion is that she is too picky and people are gloating that it's all her fault. When a man is lonely, it's not his fault, it's women being too choosy.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I think the more common viewpoint is more like "most lonely women have options but aren't satisfied with the options, and most lonely men have no options."
by HistoricalYoung3 weeks ago
Well if the option is to be with a person who I have zero attraction to just to not be alone, I would say men have exactly the same option.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I read a good analogy the other day and I hope it'll bring complete understanding of how it is these days. When men date, it's a desert. When women date, it's a swamp. And everyone is just trying to look for fresh water. It's tough.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Oh yeah? Well have you considered that boys rule and girls drool???
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
A big part of the reason why many women feel as though they cannot find "good" men is because the education system has completely failed boys. Men's workforce participation rate has been declining for years and sex ratios in higher education have continually skewed more towards women.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Women have higher DOCUMENTED depression and suicide attempts, but given what we know suicide is most definitely a male problem. When someone kills themself, they cant repeat the action, so they dont add to the statistic. Men are also significantly less likely to self report mental health issues and suicidality, and are less likely to self harm. When you actually look at it properly men are more likely to try, want, and succeed at killing themselves, mens statistics dont really show the full picture due to the massive stigma around it.
by Coralie233 weeks ago
I have a lot of friends at my age who also have a hard time meeting guys and having boyfriends And therein lies the difference, the term "loneliness epidemic" doesn't really have anything to do with romantic relationships. It's about how a lot of people these days - many of whom are disproportionately men - don't even have the bare minimum of a platonic friend group/support network. You're lonely, and I'm sorry for that, but you aren't really a victim of the loneliness epidemic. You're describing something completely different.
by igrimes3 weeks ago
Yeah, kinda funny she's claiming people care about male loneliness while understanding nothing about the discussion. Just being an example of people not caring. It's about men struggling to maintain basic friendships and connections, not whether they are dating.
by Specific_Problem87253 weeks ago
I'm a woman with zero friends. It is not unique.
by Okunevaquentin3 weeks ago
Never got a date on tinder in like 5 years. I must be ugly asf 😵💫
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Yes! It's an epidemic in the west because they don't have a nuclear family, where someone who doesn't have a partner can embrace the warmth and compassion of a family and avoid loneliness
by Noe893 weeks ago
I've met so many women who don't even want to be friends, and they seem confused when I tell them it is my only goal. And people in general seem confused when I tell them how much work I put in to get friendship, as though it is some easy thing that just "happens."
by Rosehyatt3 weeks ago
Yeah. She thinks she gets it. She doesn't. It's really unfortunate what she's going through, but it's not what people are talking about with the loneliness epidemic.
by baileybruen3 weeks ago
I used to have lots of friends… then I quit drinking and lost 1/2, Then COVID lost another 1/2, Down to 4, all married Found out 1 is a POS to his wife just the other day, Down to 3, 1 has a baby on the way so don't see him anymore 1 is moving more alt right every time we meet up Last 1 I've known forever, but we don't exactly have the same interests anymore
by Greenortiz3 weeks ago
Literally nobody cares about lonely men either.
by Haven703 weeks ago
society show a lot more compassion to men What in the world?! Are you currently experiencing a very severe fever?
by Daphneokuneva3 weeks ago
It's never too late, you sound interesting and empathetic, I'm sure you could find a great partner if you wanted.
by Naive-Paper3 weeks ago
Go where? Third places are dead. Everything everywhere requires that you consume all the time, and not even bars have an environment conducive to engage with people you don't know.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I am a dog lover, board gamer and recently gained interest in gardening. I talk to several people every week at the dog park, dozens of people every month at board gaming events and have already met 2 people interested in gardening. Third places are definitely less common than they were back before 2010, but they aren't dead. You just need to put the effort in.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Or well- the other factors are time, space, and money. People are working more to essentially get less, and I think that is contributing to the issue. You need the finances to take care of dog, and the proper space for them. Board game events might cost a fee, or you might need to provide the games...and that costs money. Otherwise, this is the most feasible- as long as you find enough people interested. Gardening- well, you need a yard to do gardening. "Gardening" is kinda limited if you can only speak about house plants and house-plant rearing as renters are stuck doing. Also, even if you have a yard- you might be limited by an HOA. A person working a full-time job might also not have the schedule to make these things happen consistently to form friendships anywhere. For example, my work weeks flip each week- meaning one Saturday I work and the following week I am off Sat- but if a local game store is having a D&D session weekly on Sats- I'd only be able to attend half of the sessions- and that's missing a lot. People stuck with at least one kid are even going to have worse times finding the time to socialize.
by Urogahn3 weeks ago
I feel like society is a powder keg right now. The car happy, 3rd-place lacking, minimum wage, social media addicted world is not going to last forever. People can't possible put up with this for that much longer.
by Plus_Temperature82753 weeks ago
Well what about the percentage of people always online increasing? I don't have the answer I'm just wondering if that is the factor that makes this a legitimate issue. Or if that stat isn't really growing… but my knee jerk opinion is that the amount of people online will only get bigger.
by Little_Emphasis3 weeks ago
IMO it's because stuff that used to be cheap or at least doable is now extremely expensive compared to wages. A month of Internet costs like one night out at the movies with dinner and snacks. A major concert tour is like a years worth of Internet. Look at it that way and tell me the number of people chronically online growing doesn't make sense haha.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Compassion? For MEN?! 😆
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Yeah! And did you see the part where she talks to her FRIENDS about how lonely they all are? They all get TOGETHER and complain about how lonely they are compared to men. The only one I get to complain about my loneliness with is my dog.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
i think a lot of your text provides the reason why male loneliness may be taken more seriously. you have no issues with getting "intimacy in the bedroom".. even stating that your friends have no issues with meeting guys and having boyfriends either. when men say they are lonely, it is usually in the literal sense of the word. devoid of romantic relationships and, in many cases, social interaction. so yes, i do feel like one side needs to be taken more seriously than the other.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
that is way better phrased than I would have put it
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Sounds like no one is taken seriously when it comes to the loneliness epidemic D:
by Sorry-Hat3 weeks ago
I mean despite the fact your definition of isolation is vastly off here (romantic relationship vs barebones support network), you're also missing the factor of choice here. You and your friends have easy times finding dates, you're just arguably not getting what you want from them. Most men will struggle to get a date in the first place lol. Element of choice being choosing the right partner vs "I've been looking for a date for 6 months and noone wants me."
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I fail to see compassion for men feeling lonely. Not sure where you're getting that from.
by Mammoth-Economist3 weeks ago
I'm sorry but... No. I disagree with you. Loneliness comes far and beyond relationships. People experience loneliness when dealing with friendships, work, being part of society, or worse, with their own families. Also, as a man that had to deal with loneliness especially during the pandemics, you'd be surprised of the times they literally told me "You're a man. You can deal with it".
by ullrichsienna3 weeks ago
generally this would indicate that a woman is pursuing men that have romantic options they consider superior to her men with a wide breadth of options often still seek casual sex with women they don't consider attractive enough for long-term relationships
by NeedleworkerInside3 weeks ago
Op is complaining about being picky and thinks that men who are actually lonely are complaining about the same thing. It would be funny if it was not sad and kinda infuriating.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I don't think the movement is really specific to men, men are just more likely to fall into the category of lonely
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I agree with your point that the issue isn't taken seriously enough for women. But I strongly disagree with your opinion that it's looked on more compassionately for men. There is literally a derogatory term for these men. They're called incels. Some of them deserve that term, but many are just men who struggle with intimacy. But they're still lumped in with that same group. I struggle to think of an equivalent for women
by cjerde3 weeks ago
You cannot get some specific guys to be interested in you. You probably do get the kind of attention that you want. But you do not find those guys attractive. Men do not get attention at all. You go on dates. A lot of men do not even have friends.
by Greg253 weeks ago
If you feel lonely now wait till your 60s. Am there, doing it. Life sucks sometimes. I resigned myself to being alone. BTW, I'm a man. So you're not "alone." No pun intended. 🙂
by trycia253 weeks ago
You try going and asking the bear out?
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Exactly. They think getting sexual only attention from men is a good thing when it's not. It's like saying someone who gets spam calls is in a better position because "I don't get any calls at all".
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I have no one to put on my emergency contacts list. That's isolation. OP: "i have lots of friends." What species of loneliness are we talking about here?
by Calm_Speaker3 weeks ago
I have no idea who to add as my life insurance beneficiary. I would put my dog on the papers if I could. OP has no clue what loneliness is.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I imagine most of the people thinking its just about sex are under say, 25 or so.
by lucienne773 weeks ago
I soooo often see men saying that women have it better on dating sites/with dating because they get so much attention and can get sex whenever they want - completely ignoring the fact that women don't just want sex (because sex with men often just leaves us disappointed anyway) and that attention on dating sites is focused on men wanting sex.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Right but sex is a bonding activity which very well could lead to a relationship. Men have less access to that bonding activity even if women want relationships and get casual sex more frequently than the thing they want they are still getting something that could lead to the thing they want. Men not so much.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Society shows very little compassion to men period. Im sorry you are experiencing this. It sucks. Hope things improve on that front.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Considering women hold majority monopoly on relationships and sex, i agree with all the people who you have spoken to. Women have told men for the last couple of years that approaching a woman is weird and not to do it, so we don't.
by Willie963 weeks ago
And then some women complain that men are no longer approaching them and the ones that do simply walk away once they are rejected.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
They wanted to apply this to unattractive and poor men but it leaked to all.
by Vonmattie3 weeks ago
you do realize that a lot of men don't even have friends right? much less them worrying about a girlfriend.
by Temporary_End_98143 weeks ago
There's been a focus on men a bit more as men have historically been told to "man up". Mens mental health was not a thing at all and men didn't have the support circles that women do which partially leads into a higher rate of suicide. It's still not taken very seriously with a lot of people anywhere. It's just a bigger problem for men and the consequences are fruiting more often.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Personally, I don't have any friends to talk to. I have acquaintances, but no real friends. I just have my husband and before him I didn't have anyone. I realize that probably more women than men have close friends to talk to about that kinds stuff, but I don't think it's really that big of a difference anymore.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
You didn't get your female bundle? It comes with not having to work, having an OF making millions a month, friends, society's love, support circles
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
men didn't have the support circles that women do Men don't create support circles that women create. It's not like you're just automatically granted a support network because you have a vagina. Relationships take effort, women foster their own support circles.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Men groups get infiltrated and destroyed wherever they form. Any group that is exclusively male is constantly under attack.
by OkCartographer3 weeks ago
This^ Men aren't allowed to have male exclusive spaces. Ones that did exist are infiltrated and destroyed. Funny thing. TC was going right in that direction when she start whining about men getting more compassion than her. She was ready to insert herself.
by ReputationUnique37013 weeks ago
And it's not like women automatically just get one, they have to put in work to get and maintain one.
by Neither-Warthog3 weeks ago
Great but society is made for you to learn how to create them. It also doesn't do that for men, rather the opposite.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
It's also frowned upon by many women if men do such things.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
yeah, that's true, it is.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Then we are indeed in agreement. Nice
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
lol When it effects women.
by stehrsantos3 weeks ago
I think because women can get sex easily they don't understand that sex is not companionship and it can make you feel lonely and used. However male loneliness stems from lack of emotional intimacy with their male peers as well. At least as a woman I can hug my friends and talk to them about deep issues. A lot of men need women for that. The manosphere is pushing men further away from women in my opinion.
by cassandrehauck3 weeks ago
never leads to anywhere aside from them wanting to have sex The men you are pursuing are above you. Try going after someone more on your level and you will have better luck finding a real relationship.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Dude some men arent even seen by women they are less than human for some of them at least you go to dates lol.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
You have friends and are going on dates. You're not lonely, you just can't get a guy that ticks your boxes to hang around after you've slept with him. I don't think you understand what lonely is. And there is zero compassion for men who are truly lonely.
by Fine_Occasion88873 weeks ago
This is patently false synonym, guys who say they are lonely literally get attacked are called creeps. Guys are blamed for being lonely and are told we must be doing something horrible. OR have women who known asked anything about say things... Like why is it my job to fix that.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
You said it here yourself. You still go on dates. The men we are talking about have nothing at all. You have a basic sense of worth because there are guys who think you're attractive and good enough to go out with. If you're trying to say women have it bad too, at least get a good example
by Kilbacktyrell3 weeks ago
The whole loneliness epidemic started with men. I've never seen anything talking about a women's loneliness epidemic, just articles and articles about the men's loneliness epidemic.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
The lonely men don't even have a single close friend let alone a girlfriend. I can't see how a semi attractive woman couldn't get in a relationship.
by DeliciousRub11633 weeks ago
Go for guys in their 30's that actually want to settle down
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I don't have sex with them, but that's what they want
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
i feel like the dating I do go on never leads anywhere beyond the intimacy in the bedroom there is an epidemic of young men who are literal kissless virgins. like the only reaction a woman has ever had towards them is revulsion. beyond that they are invisible. your A/C is broken, but these guys' houses are on fire. I'm sorry you're having difficulty forming emotional connections with your one-night stands, but I gotta look out for my bois first because they're in a crisis
by bradtkebrendan3 weeks ago
I feel for women, but when you say you're lonely, can you say you are actively initiating with men? As a man, it is easy to be labelled as a creep or predator, so we have alot to lose. (Especially professional men) So it doesn't hurt to make the first move, of course the man has to show interest, we just need a hint. Alot of great reserved guys get scooped up early because they go for who shows interest, not for the challenge. These days our reputation is very fragile. Wishing you all the best! Try putting your self out there. I have alot of happily married girlfriends who weren't afraid to make a move lol
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
And here I sit trying to comprehend wanting to be around others. Once I get home from dealing with the cesspool that we call society. I just want quiet and isolation.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
What load of nonsense. The loneliness epidemic was only acknowledged when it started to affect women. Then all of a sudden loneliness needed to be treated. Men have suffered from loneliness way longer and no one said anything about an epidemic especially when young men started to self delete because of it...
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Framing it as a MALE loneliness epidemic is a move to change how we talk about gender inequality. This is the first successful framing of an issues where it's "men HAVE a problem" rather than "men ARE a problem" Hopefully this framing sticks and we can shift the discourse away from "men ARE a problem" even more. It does suck for women that are not getting the attention they deserve for the loneliness epidemic. But welcome to the male perspective on Reproductive rights, and parental rights, and education and domestic violence protections and family courts and about a dozen other "women's issues"
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Jeez. We're people, not dogs. The loneliness epidemic has way more actual factors than just "men horndogs, don't want to step up".
by RoundIntroduction4683 weeks ago
It's not true that we don't "need men." I wrote a whole next sentence explaining what I meant with "need". You're arguing with a strawman here. Most of what you've said is agreeing with the points I've made while (somehow) saying you disagree. I'm actually not sure where you think we disagree. Actually, the only think we seem to disagree on is if women have always been considered equal partners. And I'm never going to consider a setup that puts all the power in the man's hands as "equal". There are advertisements from not that far back in the past of men spanking their wives for displeasing them. Sorry, but in no way was it "equal".
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Lengthy screed full of misandry. Tremendous claims require tremendous evidence and you say that the potential for violence comes from lonely men what evidence do you have of this? The plain and simple fact and obvious truth is that women are much more endangered from men they are in relationships with them from lonely unattached men.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
There was a video a little while back of a t and man explaining how differently he had been treated and how different interpersonal relationships were and even ones with strangers were before coming out and after.
by Liliana873 weeks ago
There have been a few high profile versions of what you are describing, the most famous was Nora Vincent (I think I have that right). A feminist who presented as a man for a year to write a gotcha article about how easy it is as a man but ultimately discovered a darkness in the world she could never unsee - male loneliness. She flipped from being a staunch feminist to being sympathetic to the men's rights movement and eventually took her own life.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Thank you for your perspective. It's a very enlightening one. In your third paragraph you sort of reference a phenomenon I've seen referred to as performing "emotional labor" (which is used in a totally twisted way from its original meaning) by people who don't even want to listen to anyone else's problems whether they know them or not. Part of being a good friend is being able to listen to your friends, as well as talk honestly and openly with them. A lot of people these days seem pretty self-centered and scared of emotional connection. It's sad. I'm blessed to have some good friends and I'm glad you found a community that's supportive and accepting of you.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
That's because it effects women differently. They might not get meaningful relationships as much as they want, but women still have full access to everything. They can choose to date someone, they can choose to go out and have sex. And a lot of men are jealous, because they have to put in work to get to that level, just to accept what they are given and gamble on being allowed more. In my life, a lot of the times it wasn't taken seriously because the other side didn't want to accept that I had actual wants and needs that didn't involve sex. I would openly tell them how much fufilling it was to be friends and feel human, and they'd run off and ask their friends what I could possibly mean.
by Rosehyatt3 weeks ago
If you aren't happy alone, you won't be happy in a relationship either.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I have a lot of friends This isn't the loneliness epidemic people talk about. The loneliness epidemic is more about being isolated and having few social connections. Not having enough friends but being lonely for a partner. That isn't an epidemic.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Lmaoooo it's not even taken seriously when it affects men. Women have multiple choices when it comes to romance .of course no one cares
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
That's the difference, you have lots of friends. Which is way more than what most men have.
by baileyivory3 weeks ago
Idk, seems like you have a social circle and can get a date whenever you want. I would hardly call that "loneliness epidemic" material. Guy's loneliness is having no close friends, and being invisible to women, so yeah I'd say your struggle doesn't quite hit the same. You can also enter any male space and instantly get attention as a young fit attractive woman, like there's just infinitely less social friction to being a woman. If every guy only wants to bang, then it must empirically be the case that you're selecting for the wrong traits. Maybe revise (lower, probably) your dating standards and see what happens.
by Pourosmadilyn3 weeks ago
Talking like loneliness and lack of romance are the same think certainly isn't helping you. It's hard out the, to be sure. But looking to romance to address loneliness isn't the way.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
No one is actually going to get you a partner. It's no one's responsibility. So why would anyone care? I get the distinct impression that people do care, but can't actually do anything, so don't want to show they care. A lot of people don't want to feel anyone else's pain, and surely you understand that. The point of life isn't to fit in, have a marriage and two point four children. The point of life is to live and enjoy, find meaning. It's not dependent upon anyone else but you. I'm isolated in ways most people cannot cope with, and that's fine, a partner would be fine but none is ok too. I'm a complete being.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Probably because women never decide to shoot up schools and night clubs when they're lonely
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
Someone with "a lot of friends" complaining that they are lonely. I don't think you understand what loneliness is.
by Anonymous3 weeks ago
I almost killed myself from loneliness , i dont know how to fix it though
by Kubeladio3 weeks ago
When does society show compassion to men for being lonely?
by frances682 weeks ago
Plenty of incels seem to be upset about this one.
by Anonymous2 weeks ago
Too picky.
by anniejohnson2 weeks ago
lol, what society are you living in where men receive more compassion over feeling lonely? Around here men aren't supposed to have feelings and certainly don't get the same level of compassion as women. Lots of other things, but not compassion.
by Anonymous2 weeks ago
society shows a lot more compassion to men who feel the same way That's rich.
by Anonymous2 weeks ago
Your "loneliness epidemic" is when you can't form meaningful romantic relationship? Honestly I don't even know what to say. I think XY dudes' case of "loneliness epidemic" might be more severe than just not having serious relationship.
by Walshtrace2 weeks ago
Having easy access to literally hundreds of men who are happy to explore a relationship and not being able to pick the very best of them AND secure a long-term relationship isn't that big an issue. You can have fun at the drop of a hat and spend your time adjusting your standards to secure a long-term fit. On the other hand, the position for lonely men is they need to approach thousands of women they are attracted to and jump through a bunch of hoops to maximise their chances and they get rejected by 99% or more of those women without ever getting a chance to talk or meet. That means they don't get feedback and practice and get stuck at the 1st step and naturally they become increasingly bitter, disheartened or desperate over time. Your problems are real and valid too of course, but complaining that the tasty meals you eat every day aren't nutritious enough for long-term health is pretty tone-deaf when someone next to you hasn't eaten in weeks.
by Anonymous2 weeks ago
Having access to having sex with men I'm not attracted to in no way fills the void that loneliness brings. Men may not understand this very basic fact
by Anonymous2 weeks ago
Its not just sex though is it, its texting, going on dates, foreplay, kissing, cuddling and countless other things that are the beginning of a relationship. It might not fill the void of a life long committed and loyal partner that will be with you forever and really get to know you, but its a hell of a lot better than nothing. As for attraction, that's always relative to your own standards and expectations. The hard thing for women is that the standard of men who are willing to sleep with them is typically higher than the standard of men who are willing to partner with them forever. Its hard turning down more attractive guys and choosing from those serious about commitment with you, especially when some of the extra attractive ones will lie about being interested in something long-term. But again, that's nothing compared to being instantly rejected and accused of being "creepy" or threatening by virtually every potential partner right off the bat before they even know your name.
by Anonymous2 weeks ago
i feel like the dating I do go on never leads to anywhere aside from them wanting to have sex. Loneliness in men: I have not had a single date after two years on dating apps. Loneliness in women: I swiped right on 5% of profiles (only the best-looking guys), went on many dates where they paid for my food, and they wanted to have sex with me.
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