Humans probably hold the record for longest poops. amirite?

Physical length or length of time?

by Josefa36 6 months ago

They have to be talking duration

by Ill_Web2098 6 months ago

I dunno man, I've lapped the bowl a couple times before

by Anonymous 6 months ago

My dog does that. Not really relevant though.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Good god man, what are you feeding him?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

verb (of an animal) take up (liquid) with the tongue in order to drink. "the cat was lapping up a saucer of milk" Similar: drink lick up sip sup

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I know dude, i was joking

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I believe you

by Anonymous 6 months ago

We believe you believe him.

by isabel59 6 months ago

I believe you when you say we believe him, believing him.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Sup

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Rope

by Acceptable-Rich-2969 6 months ago

Damn impressive mine goes down the whole and kinda sticks out like a snake never went around it

by Subject-Tomatillo 6 months ago

Was it a relay race? Did you pass the baton?

by elsiepurdy 6 months ago

Whale poop is liquid. Humans have a chance for the longest in length.

by ShortCheesecake 6 months ago

Bears have fecal plugs or tappen which bind them up during hibernation. They can be several feet in length, and probably take a while to pass as well.

by Ecstatic-Suspect4443 6 months ago

This is such interesting but useless information, thank you.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Tappen a keg

by Maleficent_Board 6 months ago

Poo times are pretty similar across the animal kingdom. There have been studies. OP might be counting the whole experience including phone time.

by Aggravating-Hope 6 months ago

Pee times, too! A Chihuahua evacuates at a rate of percentage that's surprisingly close to that of an elephant.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Tbf I have no idea where but I'd heard that before, too.

by Otherwise_Nebula 6 months ago

Sloths have slow poos!

by Otherwise_Nebula 6 months ago

Size? No, humans aren't the biggest animal. Time? No, pushing out your turd is about the same time for everyone. You sitting on a toilet before wiping? Yeah it's not pooping at this point anymore. You're just getting hemorrhoids and letting it dry.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Have you ever gotten the knife stabbing cramps that cause you to shoot liquid poop at an alarming rate and pressure over and over till you're forced to bear down and push even though there's nothing left to the point of almost blacking out? That takes a while. Or so I've heard .....

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Sloths poo slower than avg!

by Otherwise_Nebula 6 months ago

But what animals live to 75 years old and poop as often as we do?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Birds, and they poop even more often

by Anonymous 6 months ago

This led me down a rabbit hole to learn that birds don't really show signs of aging and some may have lived to be over 100!

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Ask my car

by katrina46 6 months ago

Greenland shark can live for over 500 years.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Google tells me that sharks do poop, so you've got me there. They don't pee though, so maybe humans have the longest pee time.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Have you seen elephants or whales?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

l once watched an eIephant poop

by Anonymous 6 months ago

john, that's not how you talk about your mother!

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Buh. Can't even be mad, that was a good one

by Anonymous 6 months ago

What's more offensive -- his gargantuan mother, or the fact that he's observing her defecation?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

But I've been, done, seen about everything When I see a elephant poop

by Mooreriley 6 months ago

I wish I could say the same

by katrina46 6 months ago

Sloths enter the chat: ... Wait for it... Wait for it... We'll check back later with the Sloths.

by turcottegenovev 6 months ago

Op clearly needs a poop knife

by skyeturcotte 6 months ago

I feel like a boa constrictor can poop for way longer than any human alive.

by Apprehensive_Cat620 6 months ago

You should look up sloth poops. They only poop ojce every week or so and it's so amazingly fibrous that it takes them hours to poop and it's very frequently just one long single poop.

by Confident_Drama 6 months ago

Hold ups, are we talking length,. duration or time between?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Had a solid 14 inches yesterday... But you gotta eat lots of veggies to reach such numbers.

by Chemical_Dependent 6 months ago

The amount of people who pretend they didn't understand what OP meant is staggering. Yes, OP is talking about duration. No, OP isn't talking about pushing poop, OP is talking about the long pooping session sitting on the toilet and scrolling.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Even if we didn't we could say we did, and none of the other animals would be able to dispute it.

by Ill_Option 6 months ago

If we are talking time length I believe sloths have that record. Once a week they climb down, dig a hole and then spend hours pooping.

by Khalidparker 6 months ago

Longest between poops has to be female polar bears

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I mean. You only poop for a couple minutes but you spend the rest of the time here

by petegreenfelder 6 months ago

now there's something to be proud of

by Anonymous 6 months ago

No way. An elephants got to have more than us

by Madisen07 6 months ago

TREX prolly had a good run. pun intended

by Novel_Parking_6496 6 months ago

My dog might disagree. Dog owners know.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

There is some guy who went on a special diet for poop "strength?" and made the worlds longest continuous poop. Like squat/walk pooped it out so it could be measured. Wild.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I believe pandas often have trouble pooping they might take a long time but a human with a smart phone is unbeatable on the toilet. To be fair we really only take like 30 seconds but we sit on the toilet for 20mins.

by Anonymous 6 months ago