The cultural concept of moving out at 18 is a giant con, amirite?

It feels more like a US thing than anywhere else. I'm in Australia and although some people move out at 18, it is generally considered either a bad move from the kid or because of bad parenting. It's typical to stay at least a few more years. I moved out at 24 to work interstate for a few years and the moved back at 27 with my family for about a year. 28 I bought a house. I don't know anyone who moved out pre-20.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I would say it's predominantly an American thing yes, but as an Australian your story is nothing like what most Australians seem to experience. I was kicked out of my house at 18, pretty much immediately after my year 12 exams and I don't know anybody that can even dream of affording a house outside of the wealthy. Although yes, most people do live with their parents, even into their 40's.

by winona69 5 months ago

In the US, college is usually 18-22. Most people at least kind of live on their own for college, and honestly I recommend at least leaving for the dorms to start to feel what it's like to be independent. I've always been welcome at home, and still likely are even at 32, but once I had some life on my own, I made an effort to keep pursuing that. Great relationship with my family, but living on my own taught me how much it worked for me.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

This was made a cultural thing when poor people could buy starter homes. It was weird back then and it's still weird now. But the cost to move out wasn't even similar to today

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Also, you have to take into consideration that people weren't typically waiting until 28-30 to get married like they are today. My grandma was married at 19. So you can't really fully compare someone at home until marriage at 20-22 (which was average in the 50s/60s) to being home now until 28-30 which is the average.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

it's a very American thing I feel.

by Bayervernon 5 months ago

Is this actually a thing? I'm in the UK and literally no body I know would expect their kid to move out at 18. Sometime in their 20s maybe

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I'm in the US and I agree with you. I have no idea how the average 18 year old would make it these days due to the ridiculous cost of everything. My oldest at home is almost 22 and I have no plans of kicking him out. My actual oldest moved out when she got married.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

indeed. unless their 18-year-old kid is moving into student halls for university, which is common for uni students

by Anonymous 5 months ago

The 18 thing is not widespread maybe an american thing

by BusyTangelo 5 months ago

Oh I got kicked out at 16! So even better!

by Smart_Credit 5 months ago

In 2023 almost 60% of adults 18-24 still lived with their parents. If you're feeling the pressure you're in a minority.

by Putrid_Ambition 5 months ago

It seems like lot of kids today cant afford to move out at 18 or even after collage. I graduated 3 years also and lot of my friends and i still live with our parents. Mainly because its harder to find a job right after collage, its easier to pay off student loans and save up for a few years before moving out.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Thats when kids graduate from hs and go away to college. So its a hybrid typically, live away while still being supported by family

by New-Tough 5 months ago

Except not a high enough percentage of kids even still go to college to support that.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Moving out at 18 is a wonderful idea. It's not always easy, but young adults need to learn how to be self sufficient at some point. Too many people want to just sit around with Mom and Dad and leech off their potential retirements. It might be 18, 19, 20 but at some point it's time to brave the world

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I think the whole point is to push you to get out of your confort zone and learn self reliance early on. Self motivation is a bit of a Myth.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Parents who think that motivation is living you out at 18 are garbage parents. Motivation like that starts when the kid is a toddler not all of a sudden at 18. They should have been teach them slowly and gradually how to build confidence by giving them tasks they could accomplish that are slightly outside their abilities and helping them when they fail to start over and try again.

by lexilemke 5 months ago

"Parents who think that motivation is living you out at 18 are garbage parents." I agree. Maybe most parents are not very good at parenting, thats why society creates these "rules". If parenting was easy, we wouldn't have any problems.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I think this happens mostly in the us - in my country (a western country) kids move out to study for college but when they move back and first get a job, they live with their parents so they can get a decent amount of money before moving out, how are you supposed to get your life going if you're going to drown in debt from the get-go trying to get a place to live in?

by orenkozey 5 months ago

More of a socio economic thing than anything

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Moving out at 18 is absolutely an American thing. I believe you complete high school when you are 16? In Europe at best you just graduated, more often you are in your final year. So even without going to uni there is no way in hell you will find a job that pays well enough to support yourself on your own. With 0 experience and no education? Even in jobs that involve manual labour they will take someone with more experience.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Americans finish high school at 18. This is generally when there is a cultural expectation that a person will start to move towards independence. This would mean either going off to college (you might call this university), getting a full time job, or joining the military. I don't know anyone personally who got legitimately kicked out at 18, that tends to be seen in poorer families who cannot afford the kid anymore. But there is absolutely an expectation that after graduating high school you should now want your freedom from your old home life, and someone who isn't striving or planning to somehow move out is a bit of a loser

by Initial_Arm_1065 5 months ago

I think the expectation of of a human in general is to become a home owner

by Subject-Pomelo-1641 5 months ago

Yeah if you aren't going away for college I don't think moving out at 18 is a good idea unless you have very toxic parents. I think the negative connotations to a young adult staying at home usually come to mind if they are in their 20s and are unemployed or not going to school.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

From what I know its just an american thing.

by bodemeaghan 5 months ago

I think this is one of those urban myths or one of those: a friend of a friend, cats roommates, cousins, former ex knows a guy that got kicked out at 18. Seriously i've been on this earth for 53 years, have a decent pool of life experience with people and i know exactly one person that this happened to. He graduated HS his dad kicked him the out and said don't come back.

by Foreign_Ad_361 5 months ago

"In Western societies" You mean America. While I'm sure there's some households that think this way in the UK, it absolutely is NOT the norm, especially since the housing crisis. "You're 18, lad, time to find your own way and move into a place of your own!" "Dad, I only turned 18 last week. I literally can't afford to rent anywhere on my apprenticeship salary. I'm more than happy to pay my way while I save up for somewhere." "Begone with ya, lad!"

by Carey84 5 months ago

It absolutely is, especially for people who grew up with weak family units like myself who end up actually getting conned because no one taught you anything about living

by First-Bug8610 5 months ago

Think it has more to do with an 18 year old being a legal "adult". Also, I don't think it's a big conspiracy to negate generational wealth. It's been happening forever to people who earned generational wealth.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Only pressure me or my friends ever had was to either stay in school or get a job and provide to the family after high school. I know only a handful that were pressured to leave and their family was disfunctional in many ways.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Is that even really the cultural norm? I just always understood it to be moving out as a young adult, not specifically 18. I don't know anyone that actually moved out at 18 specifically.

by Naderkory 5 months ago

I completely agree with this. My mother in law is from Spain, and some of her family members have live together well into their 20s/30s. I think now they all live on the same floor in an apartment complex. It's incredibly common in Europe that families stick together for long periods of time.

by Sufficient_Truck_937 5 months ago

Often, people don't want children, but being young, and inexperienced, they end up with them. Others find out after having them, the don't like the experience. If you're luck, these parents are responsible, and they do there best. More likely, they are terrible parents. Either way, they wait until you eighteen to be free of you. It's not society, but basic human nature. The laws says, parent are responsible until eighteen. If nor for the law, toddlers would be starving in the street.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I moved out at eighteen when I went to college. I don't think that really counts though because mom and dad were paying the way. But I would have been devastated had I had to move back in after college. What gets me are the parents though who tell their kids they're getting kicked out eighteen. You're clearly not a very good person. You clearly don't love your own children that much. Why did you even reproduce in the first place?

by Anonymous 5 months ago

As an eastern expecting your child to move out at 18 or before they finish college is an insane concept to me. My family would host me till im 30 but after that i'd feel like an unwanted guest😭

by Anonymous 5 months ago

As a Filipino-American, I can chime in and say this is an extremely American phenomenon. I'm in my early 30s and my family has absolutely zero issues with me living at home. I work a decent job and I do my part to pay for bills and necessities. At the exact same time, my mom is getting up there in years, so she directly benefits from me being at home by being able to ask me to run errands, drive her places, help with computer stuff, all sorts of things that wouldn't be as doable if I had my own place 30 minutes away. With how crazy expensive it is to get a home these days, it seriously makes little sense for people to be kicking their kids out of the nest at 18. Just as OP says, if you're not a bum just playing video games for 12 hours a day, where's the harm in staying home?

by Anonymous 5 months ago

This whole idea of having to move out at 18 is a total scam, honestly. It's like those 'free trial' things where they end up charging you anyway. Back in the day, people stayed at home until they figured out their lives – got a job, found a partner, or at least saved up some money. Now? They just kick you out and say 'Good luck figuring out this whole adult thing! Don't forget to pay taxes, by the way!

by Anonymous 5 months ago

People say this, and maybe it is like this in some areas, but I personally don't see any sort of ridicule for staying past 18. 30? Yes. 25, even, sure. But 18? Nah. Plenty of young adults live at home through college or in the early adult years if they don't go to college. Honestly most people I know lived at home well past 18. The only people who didn't went away to college at 18 and never returned home (like myself). But my high school friends who went to community college or didn't go to college at all lived at home, without issue, into their 20s. My older brother went into the navy at 18 but when he got out 4 years later, he lived at home for a few more years after. My younger brother is currently 20 and living at home. I just have never seen this pressure to leave home at 18 unless you come from a very unsupportive family who boots you the minute they can. But that's a family issue not a cultural one.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I have some friends and family across US UK. Most of them seem to live in their parents house for a long time before they can get a financial cushion. If you come to poor countries like Pakistan, HA, I'd be glad if I got a house in my 60's. Ain't no way I see myself ever, EVER getting a place given our salaries are nothing compared to the corruption money that is parked in the housing market. So is it really that big of a culture world wide?

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I moved out at 18 back in 2002 into a2 bedroom apartments. It was only $450 back in those days so it was totally doable then. Now that same apartment is over $1500 and the minimum wage has only risen $.25. Times have changed.

by Separate-Grade-3388 5 months ago

Had I stayed home instead of moving out with roommates at 18 and trying to work full time while attending college, I think my life would have turned out very different. I probably would have finished college, and I wouldn't have started smoking weed daily, which led to two decades of addiction. At 43, I look at this decision as a pivotal point in my life where I took the "wrong" turn. I should have listened to my Mom.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

1000%. My daughters will have a bed available to them for as long as they need. Obviously once they get into their 20's the goal is the help them achieve financial independence to move out on their own, but as long as they are working towards something and not just bumming around wasting away I will support them as much as I can till I die.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I agree. People should be able to move out sooner than that. The rates of CPTSD would fall significantly that way.

by Stephon43 5 months ago

Birds need to read this

by Anonymous 5 months ago

It's not a western thing. In a lot of european countries it's normal to stay home, rent-free, well into your twenties. In some countries in Europe is common even in your thirties.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

The only people I know who left were those who had no space and wanted their own room or those who had beef with their parents. I don't know anyone who was kicked out after HS graduation.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

When I turned 18 my mother closed the refrigerator door and said - time to leave.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Ahh yes because not crying at your father's funeral is a great goal to have in life.

by Putrid_Ambition 5 months ago

He's a manly man, who don't need his daughters talking to him in adulthood. When he dies, his daughters might be so stoic like him, they'll just shrug.

by dominic67 5 months ago

Being devastated over a death isn't good either. Your mother dies and now your entire life, family, and ever responsibility ever goes down the drain? As society begins to become ok with that more people are going to lie about mental health just to take it easy.

by Emotional_Chance 5 months ago

I lived with my grandmother as a kid and did not shed a tear at her passing. I did not like her. I never lived with my uncle and was absolutely heartbroken when he passed. Was the kindest, gentlest soul. Im clearly projecting but not living without someone and not crying just doesn't relate to each other.

by Anonymous 5 months ago