+51 I'm Italian and I find it cringe when people of Italian descent call their grandparents "nonno" and "nonna", amirite?

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

It might be weird in America, it's probably a little more common in Europe. Some people get overzealous with the "old country" connections.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I guess. I'm Mexican and I call my grandparents abuelito/abuelita since they don't speak English so it'd be weird calling them grandpa/grandma, but maybe the old country do things different.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

That's different, I'm talking about when you're speaking in english to someone outside your family.

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

Like someone who was born in the US, doesnt speak italian, has never been to italy and their most recent reletive to he born in italy was their great great grandpa but they still call their grandparent "nonna/nonno"

by justina42 6 months ago

Precisely.

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

So you're basically complaining that if someone calls their grandparent "Grandma" in the home they should say "Grandmother" when talking to you. Why? I don't refer to my Nana as Grandmother when talking to someone outside of my family. Because her title is Nana.

by Extra_Team1527 6 months ago

Exactly this. My parents recently became grandparents for the first time and they chose for themselves what they wanted their titles to be. I imagine this is fairly universal - most grandparents will choose how they want to be addressed, and it is simple courtesy to use that title when talking to them, which means that will be how you think of them. It actually took me entirely too long to realise that my Nanna's name was not "Nanna". So naturally, when talking about her to other people, I would use the name/title of "Nanna" rather than anything else.

by Yvettekeeling 6 months ago

It sounds extremely weird to me for grandparents to choose how they want to be addressed. I doubt this is a universal thing. Might be an American thing though.

by Primary-Thought-4916 6 months ago

Oooh alright, you should clarify that in the OP. This makes 100% sense. My kids were born abroad and, while they called their grandma "nonna" in person, they always referred to her as grandma to others. Even as toddlers! It never even occured to anyone to do different. Italo-Americans who do as you say.... are kinda pithiful try hard tbh! I would just laugh if I was you.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Many are lol it's very common with Americans who have like a drop of Italian ancestry. It's so annoying. I have one friend who calls himself Italian when he has one great grandmother from Italy. What's weird is he harps on the Italian part when he's actually far more Irish and Scottish. As someone with two European immigrant parents, I still consider myself American and I'm just like "no you're American. Please get over yourself."

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I live in a bilingual family. It would be like calling someone another name to translate it to English— and the English terms refer to the English speaking side of the family…. so they are already taken.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Your weirdly specific example actually rings true lol I've known a few people who barely pass as Italian and are just American but man, the second you meet them you KNOW they're "Italian" because they bring it up in every conversation. And yeah it's always used to explain why they just love pasta so much when nearly everyone loves pasta. It's a big pet peeve of mine but it's very common.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Damn, I'll make sure to consult ChatGPT before my next psychology session

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

Alright nonna, pipe down

by myragoyette 6 months ago

More like strega…

by Interesting_Rock 6 months ago

Stregone*

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

Make me some olio e aglio nonna

by myragoyette 6 months ago

No peperoncino?

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

Un po. I guess

by myragoyette 6 months ago

Strega please!

by Interesting_Rock 6 months ago

Could it be that the grandparent is connected with the language, and prefers to be called nonno/nonna?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Yeah calling them that when speaking to them is obviously normal, that's their native language. I'm just saying it's weird to refer to them by those names when speaking to someone outside your family when having a conversation in English

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

But if that's the name the person has always called them, it's almost weirder to change the name used. It's not uncommon for people to call the grandparents on each side of the family something different. I've also seen it used a lot by Italian-Australians. They'll refer to the Italian grandparents in Italian and the Australian grandparents in english

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Don't really agree with this - I grew up calling my grandma "pink-amachi" (amachi meaning grandma, and pink because she quite often wore a pink nightgown" and I still call her that to this day. When speaking in English I would never use that with my friends just because I always called her that. It would be weirder for me to say that than to say grandma

by DisasterBeneficial 6 months ago

I think to some extent it comes down to length of the honorific... Or maybe it's a diminutive. Family gets weird with language... Anyway my grandma is my grandma and my nana is my nana. It's just what I've always called each of them and it's a lot easier to say than my maternal grandmother or my paternal grandmother. If I say grandma I'm talking about one and if I say Nana I'm talking about the other. When I'm talking to people outside of the family about my family it helps keep them straight without constantly having to apply the attribution to which side of the family they come from.

by Top-Employment-6768 6 months ago

Fair enough. But then why not say Papa' and Mamma, or Zio and Zia, instead of mum, dad, uncle and auntie?

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

i mean, i refer to my parents as papa and mamma to other people too 😭 so does everyone around me. might be a regional difference though, im indian.

by That-Lavishness1403 6 months ago

Some people do. I know people that'll refer to their Italian aunt as zia but their Australian aunt as aunty

by Anonymous 6 months ago

My brother's kid has a German mom whose parents he calls "oma" and "opa" even when talking to me in English, and he's just a kid. Why would he refer to them as "grandma" and "grandpa" instead?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Because mom and dad may use their current regional words for mom and dad whereas the grandma may prefer a name she has more connection to. Nonna as spoken also isn't strictly Italian, I called my dad's mom Nona and she was Irish, I called my mom's mother / stepmother grandma and meemaw respectively. I didn't do this for cultural reasons, they all picked their name. Many people don't even think of the etemylogical origin of the name they call their grandparents, they've been calling them that since they were little

by Anonymous 6 months ago

But if it's what you refer to them as constantly then it's what's going to feel the most natural to you. I don't know why you'd force yourself to use a word that comes less naturally to you?

by Ok_Possibility9846 6 months ago

To me it would feel unnatural to call them nonno in a conversation in english becuase i'd be switching languages. It's more effort for me.

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

But if you only call them nonna then it would feel unnatural to call them anything different. Like I had one who was Pop and one who was Granda and it felt weird to call them anything else even when talking about them to a third person. I think the difference between that and just saying random words in a different language mid conversation is that while it's not their name it's the word you use in place of their name so you're not just saying it randomly you're saying it as a name which you wouldn't change to English if that makes sense. Like if your name was Michele I wouldn't change it to Michael when speaking in English.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

It definitely has its advantages. Like what if you're biracial and you have two sets of grandparents? At least calling one set Nonno/Nonna and another Grandpa/Grandma gets rid of any confusion if talking about them to people outside of the family. If not that, just speaking about them as they prefer to be referred to is just fine. It's not like you'd call an Antonio "Anthony" just because they aren't present in the conversation.

by Ok_Clue 6 months ago

One of my Great Grandmas was always my Nana. It was borderline beaten into us by her to call her that from a young age. When talking to others I would often refer to her as my Nana before realising people wouldn't know that that meant a Great Grandma and I'd explain. I understand where you're coming from but for some that is their name, and it's not always so easy to remember to not call her that.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Most people choose what they want their grandkids to call them. My in-laws are from Italy and my kids call them nonna and nonno. There's nothing cringe about it. My sister-in-law is of hispanic descent and my kids call her tia. Nothing cringe about it. It's what they prefer and I respect that. Saying that normal things are cringe is actually just dumb.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Yeah, the kids don't grow up choosing what they call them, they are taught what to call them.

by Apprehensive-Fee1765 6 months ago

I feel it's also common to call each set of grandparents by different names.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

It sounds cringe

by Strict_Two9957 6 months ago

I guess "tolerance" ends at what people call their grandparents.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I mean, my grandparents were italian and that's what they wanted us to call them and how they referred to themselves?

by Interesting_Rock 6 months ago

That's fine but I wouldn't refer to them as nonno/a to a stranger for example.

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

What I think is cringe is when someone calls themselves "Italian" when their last few generations all grew up in a country outside of Italy. Like no Ronda from Boston, you are not "italian" because your great, great grandfather was. You're American.

by Interesting_Rock 6 months ago

I think that's probably where this pet peeve of mine stems from. People claiming a heritage that they don't really own. I guess it's not inherently damaging to anyone but it just feels like a way people try to appear cooler or different from the pack in an insencere way.

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

Okay, but ... why? My mother's mother, I called her Granny. When referring to her, I say "My Granny." I don't say "My grandmother" because "Grandmother" is what I called my father's mother. Now, I could say "My grandfather" for Peepop and for Grandpa, but...why?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I think that kind of common variation of the grandma/grandmother is acceptable since everyone (speaks English) understands it. Nonna is a different language all together. Tbh if some stranger says "my nonna" in a conversation, I would assume they don't know what "nonna" is in English. Between family and friends though, it becomes a title. Nonna or Papa becomes the title of the specific grandparent. At least as a bilingual person, I would cringe so hard if someone who was born and raised in an English speaking country, started referring their relatives in my native language while we were having a conversation in English. That doesn't make sense to me at all.

by Ok_Raspberry 6 months ago

That explanation does not make any sense. Why does it matter what language the title is if it's normal to call people by their title? I have a friend who is German, he is called Opa by his grandkids. He refers to himself as their Opa, the same way my Grandpa referred to himself as my Grandpa. That is, to anyone.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Most grandparents pick their own "names". So if you hear kids calling their grandparents Nonno/Nonna then its because that's what they wanted to be called. No 18 month old came up with that on their own.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

And while they speak English, they probably called their grandparents Nonno/Nonna, so it makes sense that they want to be called that as well.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

No one cares, Frodo

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I suggested my 5yo grandson refer to me as grandpappy; he said I was weird

by ariannaschultz 6 months ago

It's fine when it's actually grandparents who are actually Italian. For many (most) American's it's great great grandparents who were actually Italian.

by orville48 6 months ago

I call my grandmother on my dad's side Abuela and I don't speak spanish but she's from the DR and that's what she wants to called, I've only ever called her Abuela nothing weird or cringe about it

by Familiar_Glove 6 months ago

It's weird of you to think people are doing it purposely to sound unique. Most are taught what to call their parents/grandparents from birth, and most don't grow up to suddenly change how they address their own family members.

by nico82 6 months ago

It's a harmless, cozy affectation that makes some people feel good. nobody's business but theirs.

by Jasper39 6 months ago

What a weird and minor thing to have a hang up about.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

So because my father was too lazy to teach me Tagalog and it's not on Duolingo or whatever, I'm not allowed to call them my Lolo and Lola? This screams ignorance.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Weird opinion. I'm guessing you have no culture and only speak English?

by No-Offer 6 months ago

I lived for 10 years in Italy and am fluent in Italian and Spanish. If I wasn't I probably wouldn't find it cringe.

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

He's calling out the ones who only speak English lmao

by Various_Papaya_8722 6 months ago

This is what OP is talking about. ‘Look at me I have more culture than you.'

by joelrau 6 months ago

Yeah we're pretty cringe with food, but don't you ever dare disrespect an italian grandma's cooking!

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

I'm french, have Italian grandparents and would call them nonno/nonna for the longest time thinking it was their name 💀

by Uoconner 6 months ago

It's a totally weird hang up to have especially because generally people have two sets of grandparents. So calling your one set of grandparents by your heritage name makes sense because it becomes a bit redundant.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

What you mean is when addressing them in person, it's ok to call them nonono and nonna However it sounds weird when referring them as such in conversation as others .

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Exactly

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

I cringe when people try to gatekeep commonly used words in a widely spoken language.

by dandre44 6 months ago

what…?

by okeefegreta 6 months ago

Did it not occur to you that the names are probably what their grandparents prefer if they are Italian speaking?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Definitely an unpopular opinion!! It was imprinted at birth for most people of Italian descent, so I wouldn't say its weird, guess you find it to be so.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

it helps differentiate between my granddad on my moms side of the family and my granddad on my dad's side of the family. Because only one of them is Italian.

by Least-Employ 6 months ago

Can you explain how it's attention seeking?

by Other-Newt 6 months ago

If the grandparent themselves is from that country, they'll be telling the grandkids to address them as nonno/abuella etc. Really weird thing to get upset about though

by Beneficial_Prize 6 months ago

I highly disagree with you. I come from a mixed family of Romanians and Hungarians, with my grandma being Hungarian. I called her Aniu all my life (Hungarian for mother, that doesn't matter specifically), to her and to others in the family, WAY BEFORE I learned Hungarian. Sure, not to strangers.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Sure, not to strangers That's pretty much the only point I'm arguing but I don't think I made that clear in my title.

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

Ya know what gets me is grandparents, picking their names to be called by grandkids. Cool, the kid will call you whatever nonsense word he relates to you. My sister's kids all called my dad, B-Pa. For whatever reasons. My mother tried to get my son to call him B-pa, nope. My son was like Ah-pa, got it. The wife's family tried for something, I don't even remember cuz my son was like, Naw. Calls them some random ass words he made up. And he use to call his cousin Kirby Puckket. Cuz it was a name of a baseball player I liked and talked about. The son would laugh his butt off at the name. So he just started calling his cousin Kirby Puckket. It's whatever. Let the kids call em what ever the kids want to. Don't stress about it.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

It feels natural when you're raised that way. My mums Irish and my dad's peruvian, I call one grandmother Nana and the other Abuela. It feels natural to me. Calling them my "grandma" in any context would genuinely feel weird to me because it's not a word I use.

by NoCountry 6 months ago

My family is Chinese, and my cousins don't speak Chinese, but it's been passed down that you call your grandma from your mom's side, Po Po and grandma from dad's side, Maa Maa. I don't think it's weird. You don't have to speak the language fluently to pass down a little bit of culture from your roots.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

We don't choose the names that we are taught to call our grandparents. Mine is called "Mawmaw" - but I'm not going to use it in a context where people don't know Appalachian vernacular. But I will use it in conversation if I am in the U.S. south but I'm not going to refer to my grandma as Mawmaw if I am traveling in Italy.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

My grandparents and mother are German, I don't consider myself German really. But I still call them Oma and Opa because they wouldn't understand me calling them grandma or grandpa, it doesn't make sense to use the English versions when speaking to them especially considering I already have English grandparents who those names are reserved for.

by Spencerstamm 6 months ago

We learn to speak from our parents and other family members. They're saying Nonna because that's what their parents said and most likely when they have grandkids they'll be referred to as Nonnna as well. English is my only language but I say Gesundheit when people sneeze because that's what my dad said, his mom said, her dad said, and his German father said. I don't say it out of pride of German heritage. I say it because that's what I grew up saying. Switching to "God Bless You" would be weird and awkward. A kid grows up being told he's going to his Nonna's house. So that's who she is she's Nonna. He's not going to tell his friends "My grandma" because that's not what he calls her he calls her Nonna. I'm going to tell friends "My mom said" because that's what I call her not Mother, not mama. If you weren't raised calling your grandmother Nonna then don't. But if you were and you change it up to Grandma when talking to others that's weird.

by Extra_Team1527 6 months ago

I find that so odd because I grew up calling all my family members by their names but I would find it way weirder to refer to them by their italian nouns when in conversation with strangers. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that it's interesting that I'm wired differently in that way, but it may be because I moved to Australia when I was only 10 so English eventually became my first language and I didn't speak to my relatives outside of my parents nearly as much anymore.

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago

How do you feel about people saying meemaw/pop-pop etc?

by Lia68 6 months ago

My gf is half Italian. Her mum moved to England. She differentiates which set of grandparents she's speaking to/about by their honorifics. Nana and granddad for her dad's parents, and nonna and nonno for her mum's parents. It makes things a lot easier for me to understand, anyway.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I had a nonno and a Nana (Italian and greek) and a grandma for the English one.

by Ksporer 6 months ago

4/10 rage bait do better next time

by Anonymous 6 months ago

If I'm talking about my pappoús, I forget you don't know him and i usually correct myself. Sorry humans are dumb. It's not our fault.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I like in the sopranos that Tony had an Uncle Zio which just means uncle uncle.

by Overall_Problem3907 6 months ago

I'm an English speaker and I refer to my Grandparents as Ouma and Oupa.

by Delicious_Speech 6 months ago

It's a strange phenomenon when people speak very little of a language but want to demonstrate their knowledge of that little bit. As a result, they will say random words in that language. In the Netherlands, I've noticed that people who speak little to no Dutch will say random words like "Nederlands" (Dutch) or "biertje" (beer) in an otherwise English sentence.

by Scary-Toe-7698 6 months ago

My parents were going to style themselves "Nonno/Nonna" (amongst other ideas) towards my Niece and Nephew, eventually dropping the idea. We have no Italian heritage.

by ConflictOld3358 6 months ago

I think it's weirder to have to consciously change what you call your grandparents based on who you're speaking to. If you call your Italian grandparents nonna/nonno then that is what they will be labeled in your brain, so it's not going to come naturally to switch that based on who you are speaking to. I grew up in a predominantly Ukrainian town, everybody used Baba/Gido. We also hear a lot of Kookum/Moshum. I don't speak Ukrainian or Cree, and they often don't either, but it makes sense for people to use the terms that they actually refer to their grandparents as. I could understand if it was a misunderstanding thing, if people didn't know that nonna/nonno were grandparent names, but it's very widely known.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Why do Italians act so gatekeepy to Italian descendants in other countries. Are they not Italian enough? Would you prefer they hated there ancestry? It's so odd.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

If that's what you call them day to day, that's what you should call them to others. You don't call your mom Diane just because you aren't talking to her directly. You call her mom regardless

by Morrishane 6 months ago

I find this opinion gatekeepy and cringey. People usually refer to their grandparents by the name their grandparents want to be called. Why would they not refer to them this way when talking about them in conversation? My grandfather was "Papa." I always referred to him as "Papa" whether I was talking to him or about him. I've had friends and family with grandparents who were called Mimi, Memaw, Grandaddy, Pawpaw, etc…. They almost always use those words to refer to their grandparents. I don't know why someone is suddenly not allowed to refer to their grandparent by the name they ask to be called just because it's a word from a different language/culture.

by Kind-Locksmith 6 months ago

This is so weird and has "everyone should speak English" vibes when there's nothing wrong with code switching.

by No-Cry 6 months ago

That's genuinely not where I'm coming from, I grew up in a foreign country and am fluent in multiple languages and proud of it. I'm just saying it seems like you're trying to look different when you switch languages mid conversation for no apparent reason.

by OkScreen3990 6 months ago