Being "too busy to text back" is just an excuse—no one is actually THAT busy. amirite?

Adhd: open notification >> get distracted >> forget about message Then the unread-indicator is gone and I don't get around to responding

by myrnamurphy 5 months ago

Exactly. It's worse when I open the message because it's important while also taking care of important tasks, then I get consumed by that task and forget to respond completely. I try my best not to open messages until I'm ready to respond <\3

by Anonymous 5 months ago

If I know I cant respond to it, I just mark it as unread.

by BumblebeeAway3785 5 months ago

"Hey, I'll text later" should be implied until they reply. There's no need for it.

by llewellyncorker 5 months ago

Except these type of people don't.

by Dulcerenner 5 months ago

In my experience - alot of people don't just text one thing like "hey how are you". When it's my friends messaging me it's multiple texts, videos, funny pictures, stories about life events, venting and sometimes trauma dumping etc. All requiring different replies and different energy. When I say I've been too busy to reply I mean it, because if I've been spending several hours active in responsibilities outside of socialization (working, studying, taking care of my family, cooking, cleaning, exercising) etc - it's fair that sometimes I don't want to go onto my phone and respond to several messages when I'm exhausted and want to just rest my brain and have me time for a moment. A time where I'm not worrying about someone else's needs but my own. My friends can wait until I'm ready to respond, just as I would do for them. If they had a problem with it then we wouldn't be friends. Luckily we're all adults with our own lives and understand eachothers situations.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I don't know….some of us have jobs

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I don't think OP is talking about that evening, but the people that were 'too busy' to replay for days on end.

by Useful-Physics8736 5 months ago

Fair enough

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I'm an RN and rad tech. I'm too busy to check my phone during a work day. Plus I feel the need to properly wash my hands before touching my phone. Everyone I know knows not to bug me at work anyway. So different strokes for different folks.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Its not entitlement lmao

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Its not responding never, its responding later in the day or the next day with "I'm sorry I was busy" is a perfectly reasonable response. Anyone who is upset by that is entitled.

by Embarrassed-Shop 5 months ago

I don't think it's up to anyone to decide if another person is busy, or what activities they must be engaged in to justify not being at the mercy of their phones. I might have been busy watching Ghosts reruns with my cat on my lap for five hours. Will get back to you when I'm no longer doing something that I prioritize over your message. I do not owe you my time.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

A lot of times I'll see a text and think "I'll reply later" because I don't have the time or headspace to send the reply, and then have them write my back quickly, expecting a back and forth. I wait until I have mental energy to focus on them, and then will often forget to respond. Because since they send their message, I've received countless other dings - emails, WhatsApp, Teams work messages, etc. The onslaught is relentless.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Depends what you're asking of the person. Sometimes I get texts unexpectedly that require careful answers.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Correct. We just don't want to talk to you annoying people that constantly feel entitled to our attention.

by Major-Possession6302 5 months ago

Lmao entitled to your time thats insane

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Then be ready to get the same treatment :), but even worse from someone like me: straight up detaching

by Aldenhilll 5 months ago

If me not texting you back causes you to detach, then I'm the lucky one there. I do not care to know you if you don't respect my peace.

by jedidiah65 5 months ago

Oh no... anyhoo

by Infinite-Fishing 5 months ago

shiver me timbers

by Maximum-Stock 5 months ago

Bye then, lol

by don02 5 months ago

Hmm, I sure wonder why someone may not want to talk to you

by Anonymous 5 months ago

You do realize that's perfect, right? I want the people that feel entitled to my time and energy to detach lol, you're not the type of friend I desire

by Josie45 5 months ago

But you aren't entitled to a quick response. Like we used to communicate with physical mail that had to sent.

by Embarrassed-Shop 5 months ago

If me not texting you back means you detach completely I think that's a win honestly. It sounds like neither of us really wanted the friendship to begin with, right?

by Alexandre72 5 months ago

You are not entitled to the attention and time of other people. Also yes people do have things going on in their lives. Sometimes those things take priority over having a conversation with you. If you take this personally be prepared to have 0 friends. You seem like you are projecting by saying that other people are not busy, when it might just be you that does t have anything going on in your life.

by Altruistic-Mode-5099 5 months ago

It's also possible some people aren't on their phones 24 hours a day.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

If I don't have my phone available how can I text back?

by Anonymous 5 months ago

That attitude is why you don't get texts back

by jedidiah65 5 months ago

I know it's shocking but again there are people who don't live on their phones.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

You understand that you and I agree correct? Is there's something that made you feel otherwise?

by jedidiah65 5 months ago

I generally don't respond to my phone if I'm working or if I'm driving. But even on personal time there are lots of reasons why I wouldn't: Actively cooking - this fire is more important than whatever you are texting about Socialising with friends and family - i like to be present. At any kind of live event be it music or cinema - I want to enjoy the thing I am doing If I am exercising or doing art - being in that headspace can be more important than replying instantly. If im dossing around and not doing anything important sure, but the fact you don't have important things to do says more about you. Also thats not to say I won't answer important things, but if its important people know to call me, in which case I do try to answer.

by ritchietheron 5 months ago

and what's wrong with not wanting to talk? people are allowed to not respond if they want. we are just trying to be polite when we say that we're busy. also "free time" doesn't mean that people have the mental energy to talk/text just because they aren't currently busy. literally any reason for not responding is fine

by Emanuelwisozk 5 months ago

I do not want to be interrupted, so I am to busy.

by Technical-Panda 5 months ago

Or maybe some of us are act like actual professionals at work...

by Everardoschowal 5 months ago

Bitch, I'm flying a frigging plane! Sorry this brought back flashbacks of a needy ex, who would not leave me be when I was solo in a circuit.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

if its that important call them

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I don't like texting. I don't like calling. I don't want to talk to you about anything if it isn't an emergency.

by Intrepid_Name_5540 5 months ago

And people just don't like to hear that, which is why it's so often spun as "I'm busy". Short of an emergency or to ask me a quick yes/no/what time sort of question, do not contact me. I'm actually quite a social person, I just have absolutely no desire to chat via text or phone unless we're long distance and it's our only option. Let's grab a coffee or something if you have that much to say.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Get over yourself. No, you are not a priority in almost anyones life. Their priority is themselves. You sound insufferable.

by RegisterJolly 5 months ago

Im too busy not feeling like having a conversation right now.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

It is an excuse. You're not entitled to my instant attention simply because it occurred to you to demand it.

by Ullrichthora 5 months ago

Eh, they might not be busy, but I don't owe anyone a quick response. I'll do it when I'm ready.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I feel this is an age thing. So many people who grew up with phones don't understand that there was a point where when you left the house, people were not going to get a hold of you until you got back home. And people got around just fine then. Now, you are always connected to people because of your Mobile phones. And imo, it's exhausting. Now you get people like this who are upset that you don't always prioritize them. I feel that if you text me, it must not be that important. I think phone calls are the best form of communication if it's important. But many younger people "don't like talking on the phone". They want to always be able to reach out to you and get your attention, but stay disconnected at the same time. And now it's even worse because you can like text messages as if it's social media. So we are even more disconnected.

by christkemmer 5 months ago

Depends how much of a delay we're talking. Anything up to a day, unless the message is urgent, is fine and dandy. Some people do have busy lives. More than that and it's just an excuse.

by Alternative-Lie 5 months ago

The truth is sometimes you don't feel like it. If people want to talk to you they will. And if they miss out of important info because they are busy or "busy" it's their problem.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Yes, some people are that busy...?

by Anonymous 5 months ago

My phone is in the break room and only accessible on my beaks… I often don't reply to messages for several hours… I have very limited time to myself I don't think having a phone means you're accessible at all times, even if I'm on it I might not be emotionally available or have energy to respond right away. A lot of us are busy

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I think peoples entitlement to my time is more of the problem, I dont care what you texted and when. If its important call. I miss the days when the only way someone could reach you was if they called the same time you are home to answer. Maybe Im the weirdo because I frequently go days without being on my phone at all and those days are best. Call the house phone if you really need me

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Correct, you are annoying and a burden so people don't text you back.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Productive people are busy.

by NewBad 5 months ago

I can't take 5 seconds to reply, I have no social energy left.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Entitled people are the worst. No one is entitled to your time. I've worked jobs that have no access time to phone outside of lunch. People who get pissy and controlling about what I do with my time I just cut off. People can and are too busy, too exhausted, or whatever else. Being able to text people does not = unlimited access to people.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Some of us have jobs where we literally cannot touch our phones.

by lauretta66 5 months ago

You made me text back, thank you.

by Fit-Acanthaceae 5 months ago

I will reply with "Hay, I'll text later" if that's a office text, at anytime. I won't reply with anything if that's a family text, at work hour and is non-emergency.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

A lot of people are at work and literally don't look at their phones

by Anonymous 5 months ago

No. There are a whole hosts of reasons why people don't text that minute; hour or even day, "too busy" is a generic non-offensive reason that will shut down a convo without hurt feelings to a reasonable person.

by Deangelo47 5 months ago

No but some of us have a lot going on :/

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Correct. I hate texting and the people who matter in my life know that. I'm only responsive in emergencies or if we're actively making plans. Even then, I'd prefer a call. Anyone who tries to text me for small talk or to catch up will either get no response or very short ones or a request for a call if I actually care to catch up. Idk how to describe it, but putting so much value on texting to gauge relationships seems immature to me.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

When I'm at work I don't have time to text back. I work in office with one big ass deck that everyone sits at. Everyone can always see what everyone else is doing. It blows

by Kuhnsheila 5 months ago

I work nights and sleep during the day so I may not text back for a few days, but I'll get to it eventually.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I've had people use that line after ONE message. That certainly doesn't make someone annoying.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Yes, people are. If you send a text to someone, it 100% means it's not important and can wait.

by Mission-Garage-7311 5 months ago

not all messages take 5 seconds only to reply though and different energy

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Ugh I feel it's also a generation thing. Among most of my friends and coworkers about the same age: Text means it's not urgent, reply when free. If it's something really urgent, either they text "I need your reply now" or just call.

by Technical-Air 5 months ago

I head someone say "you aren't too busy, you just aren't making it a priority". It change my whole perspective on life. When you say it out loud it really hits you. Instead of saying, "I was too busy to text back". Say "I did not prioritize texting you back". A lot of the times it's just true but it just doesn't sound good. Personally, I look at your text and immediately forget to text back because my focus is elsewhere.

by Mohamedgibson 5 months ago

When you have a job and someone texts you engine you're working then it's a different story

by Remote_East_8725 5 months ago

People who still think "nobody is THAT busy" clearly don't have much going on in their day.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

False. People just waste their time and have differing priorities. Even people who work 100-hour weeks can and do text people.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Does it cross your mind that some purple work actual physical jobs and literally cannot check their phones except on break & that they don't spend their time "at work" "scrolling insta."

by Monahanzita 5 months ago

Have you never heard of doctors, surgeons, drivers, etc? Literally too busy to respond. I'd rather the focus be on like, saving lives and not texting and driving. You're ridiculous lmao

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I'm old. I vividly remember no one being able to get in touch with you 24/7. To this day, I'm under zero obligation to even look at a text message immediately, much less respond to it. I have a life that doesn't revolve around answering texts. If that's a problem for you, we'll, tough.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Sorry when im underwater welding ill pull out the phone and read it, How about the guy landscaping Them not responding is them saying ill respond later

by Acceptable-Maize8797 5 months ago

False. I often am too busy to reply, I'm a doctor and work up to 25 hours at a time when in the ICU. The people that text me know I will get back to them eventually and know to never expect an immediate reply… I think the expectation that anyone owes you a response in a specific amount of time isn't really reasonable

by Anonymous 5 months ago

You'll be just fine sweetheart they'll text you back eventually.

by Magnus32 5 months ago

What about a surgeon doing multi hour surgery?

by Excellent-Country659 5 months ago

Do you consider having your hands inside people's body parts as not busy? My mom is a gynecologist lol. Also my friend doesn't respond for hours. She's a teacher, she wants to show example by not being constantly on her phone and barely has enough time to go to pee on recess. Do you consider that not busy? Do you know people have jobs?

by Soft-Catch 5 months ago

Yeah I won't ever say I'm too busy but I will definitely say I won't text while driving. I get texts and calls annoyingly often while driving and I just don't answer. Then the people who called get ticked off that I didn't answer and I always am surprised like is being on the phone while driving just normal now? No wonder accidents are more common.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Prek teacher: hold my juice box.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

That's like saying someone must be available at work because they have an open slot on their calendar. You can be legitimately busy taking care of yourself. Even if that's doing absolutely nothing at the moment. You shouldn't expect someone to be "on" and engageable 24/7. That isn't a healthy mindset. Engaging in conversation (direct or written) requires some degree of mental energy. Since all people are different, some have more or less of this energy to spare than others. Plus, what if you're one of fifty people in that person's life that feels the same way? It adds up. Plus, if you need an immediate response, that's what voice calls are for.

by taniadare 5 months ago

I have a planning. And you, or anyone else barging in with text messages, let's me re evaluate that planning. If it isn't important the rest of the planning comes first as planned. Even if it's checking insta. That's being busy. Everything is always about priorities. But earning money comes before your non important text about sports or weekend plans. Now an illness of my loved ones comes before the money. Well, you get what I'm aiming at

by Anonymous 5 months ago

That's a very black and white take. There are many reasons I don't text back immediately that have nothing to do with someone not being my priority: -i want to reply later when I'm relaxed, to fully focus on the reply. -i read it, something happens, I forget about it. -I'm thinking some time about an answer because it is that important to me -I'm at home and my phone is in another room -I'm tired and don't want to have a conversation right now

by Specific-Lobster 5 months ago

Eh to an extent. I can absolutely be too busy to reply in the moment, or in a position where it's inappropriate to whip out my phone to send messages. To your point, I normally have the free time to reply at some point not too long after. Problem is, I have 100% forgotten that you texted me by that time.

by Upstairs_Willow 5 months ago

Let's be real... we all have to prioritize.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

agreed. no excuses, unless its illegal to text at that moment, or prearranged beforehand.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I think your final point is, broadly, correct. Most people feel it's less impolite to tell a white lie with intent to spare the deceived's feelings, than it is to insult that person by telling them that they're socially taxing. I would suggest you may want to consider why your feelings keep being spared that way, though. (As inconsiderate as that is of me to point out…)

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Absolutely. This took me a long time to realize but id someone cares about you they WILL make time for you. I could be swamped with work and I'll still respond to my family or gf as soon as I can.

by Olaf46 5 months ago

As someone who has known doctors in residency (specialty training), these guys are actually genuinely THAT busy. Working 100 hours a week is common in surgical specialties and an 80 hour work week is perfectly normal (that's even the minimum in some specialties). Note that there is no overtime pay, which is why you hear that doctors make minimum hourly wage for years after 8 years of education. Imagine working 100 hours a week, 50 weeks a year, and making 16 dollars an hour. Yeah bro I ain't texting no one.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

You can't base a neurosurgeons off time the same as someone's off time who works at Chuck E. Cheese's bro

by Anonymous 5 months ago

He said "NO ONE is actually that busy" so I was just trynna prove to him that some people actually are.

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I think he was just exaggerating tbh, but you are right

by Anonymous 5 months ago

Ok so I don't think OP is referring to people who are on call, but people who work regular jobs. Even if you have a family or whatever, it doesn't take long to text "hey I've got a lot going on right now, let's connect next week"

by Anonymous 5 months ago

I can think of about five professions where it's acceptable for people NOT to text back. Doctors Pilot Military Chef Oil rig employees

by Anonymous 5 months ago

The idiots are disagreeing with you OP, don't mind those idiots

by Aldenhilll 5 months ago

Agreed. This is especially true since every cell phone has voice to text

by Anonymous 5 months ago