Polyamory is pretty disgusting imho, amirite?

I'm not a fan of it myself by any means, but it sounds like the situation you were in was pretty toxic. You wanted a third so you can have an ally? That was doomed from the start and engaging in a polyamorous relationship wasn't going to solve anything. I don't know if I'd call polyamory "disgusting" but it's absolutely not for me.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Yeah it just seems that this person is blaming polyamory for their own failings instead of just breaking it off with their partner. Who engages in polyamory to win arguments lmfao.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

People aren't "thirds".

by Marvinchyna 1 month ago

If they're in a "throuple" then yes they are?

by Weak_Independent 1 month ago

🩷

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Listen, the only time I considered polyamory was when I was in a relationship with my "cant take no as an answer" of a partner. And that was because we were fighting all the time and I wanted another woman in our relationship who would maybe take my side once in a while and help me deal with him. Yeah. It was pretty disgusting. I do not think polyamory is or can be healthy, even if it is consenting adults. If you build a house on a shaky foundation, that house is probably going to suck regardless of how nice you try and dress it up.

by zritchie 1 month ago

You can't polish a turd.

by Iaufderhar 1 month ago

Didn't Mythbusters do this?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I think you nailed it with this answer, polyamory can likely be fine with the right people.

by masonconsidine 1 month ago

You apparently think this is a common enough mindset to be "unpopular"... So, clearly you see it pretty often.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

If you can't keep yourself from cheating, might as well explore the ENM world. Maybe it's just innate that some people aren't totally wired for full monogamy, which is difficult for people who are fully monogamous in nature to understand. Far better to be honest with yourself about this and upfront in relationships, then to lie to your partners and to yourself, if you realize that a monogamous partnership isn't your thing.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Are you sure that it's not the algorithm showing you these profiles for some reason? Or the area you live is a bit weird compared to the norm? I've done a fair bit of online dating, including in the poly world. I live in London, UK, and absolutely nowhere near are 25% of the online dating community ENM. If anything I'd say it's such a small minority that meeting others into it was difficult, even when attending meetups etc.

by Blockperry 1 month ago

Also, survivorship bias. Monogamous people take themselves off the platform when they find someone, poly people might not, so that may result in an overrepresentation

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Consenting adults. Say it louder for the ones in back.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I do agree to some extent, but I also think it's a good idea to have an open discussion on what ways to live are better for the individual and by extension for society.

by Hermann96 1 month ago

Uh...why were you going to drag another person into an abusive relationship? Why not break up?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

OP is an unkind person. That's the answer.

by Marvinchyna 1 month ago

I do agree that your trying to use Polyamory to achieve more power in your relationship would be a disgusting choice. Not sure however you know what Polyamory is though.

by Mobile-Start-7918 1 month ago

I think they tried that but then it back fired and the person they brought into the relationship supported the partner OP was trying to gang up on.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Oh dear, that would be upsetting and make this make more sense.

by Mobile-Start-7918 1 month ago

"I think men and women have evolved to compliment eachother, to work together to keep life going." Around half of all marriages, especially straight ones, end up in divorce. Who evolved to what? The most dangerous place for a woman's life is her HOME. Who evolved to what?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Also, what about gay marriages? If men evolved to compliment women and vice versa; then can men not compliment other men or women women?

by RaisinLess 1 month ago

Actual polyamory is not the same thing as someone using coercion/guilt/cheating and then claiming they're poly. Hell, some people arent wired to have any relationships. Evolution doesn't mean anything.

by TerribleBluejay1123 1 month ago

So you dislike it because you initiated polyamory into your already toxic relationship and it didn't work… I'm astounded. Nothing wrong with not wanting that in your future relationships but your relationship sounds like it was "disgusting before bringing in a random girl…

by Defiant-Shape 1 month ago

"Disgusting" is way too strong of a word in my opinion. Relationship styles are like personality types/temperaments. Some people are all about free love, go wherever the wind blows, and aren't territorial; while others want the stability and security of a regimented partnership and can be extremely territorial. It's not really my place to say one is better than the other, although I know what I want out of my relationships.

by Civil-Swimmer-4309 1 month ago

In this economy? Poly sounds like a great idea.

by Swiftautumn 1 month ago

We can live like royalty because we only need one bed!

by Anonymous 1 month ago

TINK - triple income, no kids

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Doesn't matter if people agree or disagree. The reality is if it's legal and consensual, why is it any of your business? Who cares what people do in their private lives and relationships, again, as long as it's legal and consensual? I'll never understand people who get so hung up over things that have literally zero effect on their lives.

by Illustrious_Play 1 month ago

Yep. Who cares if someone is trans, gay, a furry, polyamorous, asexual, etc? Unless you're planning to date or sleep with them, it has no impact on you whatsoever. Everyone needs to just live and let live.

by Illustrious_Play 1 month ago

Do you know how many trans athletes participate in sports each year in the U.S.? Please guess without looking it up, based on the way American conservatives talk about it

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I disagree with OP's perspective, but the idea that you can't have an opinion on a social phenomenon or anything just because it's legal and consensual is stupid. That basically cuts out all possibility of philosophical/moral debate, and makes conversations shallow.

by DocumentSpiritual964 1 month ago

No one said you can't have an opinion though?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Just because something is legal and should be allowed doesn't mean we need to encourage and normalize it if it's unhealthy.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

This is not an unpopular opinion, but your approach to polyamory was in fact pretty disgusting and you should be ashamed.

by OkViolinist 1 month ago

OP should be ashamed for a lot of things. Also, OP is just in need of therapy. Also, people don't cheat more now than before. For a long time, getting married had nothing to do with love, you really think that those marriages didn't involve infidelity? Back when women were just property, you don't think guys stepped out?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Your experience is incredibly specific and based entirely on selfishness. Polyamory is the exact opposite of that. You didn't experience polyamory, you just made bad choices.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

The fact that you considered polyamory as a solution to the problem you described just shows that you don't really understand it or understand those who practice it.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I think men and women have evolved to compliment eachother, to work together to keep life going. But nowadays all of that is down the toilet Is a sentiment commonly repeated as a way to justify homophobia as well.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

It also shows that the person has no understanding of evolutionary theory at all.

by Hermann96 1 month ago

Listen, the only time I considered polyamory was when I was in a relationship with my "cant take no as an answer" of a partner. And that was because we were fighting all the time and I wanted another woman in our relationship who would maybe take my side once in a while and help me deal with him. Yeah. It was pretty disgusting. I think you, as a person, are disgusting for even considering this. And this isn't even how polyamory works at all. So your also, kind of dumb. Polyamory is awesome though. I know exactly what I want. Maybe you will too some day.

by Marvinchyna 1 month ago

Yeahh, "I only considered polyamory when I wanted to use someone to sort out my toxic relationship for me" lmao

by Aware_Log 1 month ago

...while I was being toxic to them and using them....

by Marvinchyna 1 month ago

Polyamory isn't disgusting if it comes from the French region of Polyamore, it's just that a lot of people say they are polyamorous when in reality what they're doing is just sparkling cheating

by SoggyCrow 1 month ago

The french are discusting 🤣

by micheal21 1 month ago

I've been in a very functional poly relationship for 10 years. I don't really care about your approval, though. It works for us and it's fine if it doesn't work for you.

by Nmurray 1 month ago

Absolutely insane that OP calls it disgusting. I guess bigotted opinions are techinically unpoplar.

by Worried_Peanut5497 1 month ago

I don't think you actually understand what polyamory is. The stuff you described is pretty disgusting I agree. But that's not polyamory.

by emardtierra 1 month ago

I don't think polyamory is disgusting or immortal, I just think most of the time it's pretty delusional. People seem to think it might save a relationship, but they are already in a failing relationship and somehow think adding another dimension to it will make it easier. It's like trying to have a baby to save the relationship. You're not working out now but you think no sleep, less money, and no free time will solve that? Good luck to all involved. 100% no negativity for people who have a nice poly relationships though.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

This. Be responsible. Respect people's choices and move on. I appreciate poly relationships because it's 2 less (at minimum lol) people I need to sift through in dating apps. I'm 100% pro monogamy and poly relationships do not affect me.

by Western-Jump 1 month ago

I think you're correlating some things together that don't actually have a causal link. I think the cheating thing can happen in any sort of relationship. I think a poly relationship is generally harder to maintain because more moving parts, but as long as it's open, honest, and respectful, it can be just as healthy as a monogamous one. I think all the problems you mentioned can happen in monogamous relationships too. I think your reasons for trying poly were unhealthy. That does not mean everyone will have unhealthy reasons just because you did. That all said, poly is definitely not something I'm interested in. But I don't begrudge other people who prefer it. Not my rodeo.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Are the people in your social circle like... bragging about it? I don't see why it would matter to you if not. It's not for you, plenty of people also think this way.

by mcglynnclint 1 month ago

Being in a relationship or being polyamorous is arbitrary. There is no right way to live a life. Neither is more correct than the other

by Unique-Zebra-4550 1 month ago

Not unpopular. People actually actively hate polyamorous people, even though someone else's relationship style doesn't affect you literally at all. Nobody is forcing you to be polyamorous. Nobody is forcing you to engage in relationship dynamics that don't meet your needs. Personally, each of my partners fulfills a unique set of needs for me. It works for me. It works for my partners. If it doesn't work for someone, then I choose not to get into any sort of non-platonic relationship with them. Your disgust says more about you and the way you've bought into purity culture than it does about any polyamorous person. And it's not unpopular. It's just hateful.

by Automatic-Intern 1 month ago

I don't know...I'm running into a significantly higher number of polyamorous people than not in my dating pool. I don't know exactly what life choice I've made to wind up here, but I would like to not deal with this anymore please.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Okay, then don't have a poly relationship.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I'd ve interested in long term studies of monogamy. Oh wait, we have them. Most monogamous relationships end before death. Lol.

by Marvinchyna 1 month ago

You will never understand the full definition of the word "sexy" until you watch your wife blow another man.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Not something I'm interested in. I can think of only a single scenario where i would ever be open to it myself or even insist on it. but if it works for people, then so be it. Not judging. Just sounds like you got into the relationship for the wrong reasons.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I was in a relationship with my "cant take no as an answer" of a partner. And that was because we were fighting all the time and I wanted another woman in our relationship who would maybe take my side once in a while and help me deal with him Polyamory isn't inherently unhealthy or disgusting. Those reasons for getting into Polyamory are unhealthy and disgusting. You are the one who made it gross.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

and I wanted another woman in our relationship who would maybe take my side once in a while and help me deal with him ... Yeah, like a bunch of others here, I don't think polyamory was the problem here.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

How come all poly relationships feature people that look exactly the same?

by Careful_Wolverine 1 month ago

I mean, who cares what people do in their private relationships as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. However, I will say, the few people I've known in poly relationships, and the people I know about, wether online or personal anecdotes, it never works out long term

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Disagree, and your opinion seems to be based only on your bad experiences with relationships. And your evolutionary argument is just based on how you wish the world would be rather than an understanding of how the world is.

by Hermann96 1 month ago

Different strokes for different folks

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Uh oh OP. Did your polyamorous friend, get you in a mess of trouble again?

by Individual_Swing_593 1 month ago

I don't know a single person irl who tolerates polyamory.

by Spiritual-Plate-7284 1 month ago

I agree. These things rarely end "well." Great thing about being a couple is you have all your love & devotion going to one person, literally 100%. That's obviously not the case in these poly relationships. I've seen them become balancing acts, and when one of the people loses balance, even for just a moment, the whole relationship comes crashing down.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

"complement"

by Buckrempel 1 month ago

"I don't approve of other adults choices including those which don't harm anyone and are legal, and agreed upon". That's your right. And it's our right to judge you for being judgmental.

by Deborahconnelly 1 month ago

Do you even know what unpopular means?

by Agile-Boot575 1 month ago

Clearly they do not 💀💀 the poly hate is everywhere these days

by Automatic-Intern 1 month ago

Disagree. I've seen some really healthy poly relationships in the gay community. Different stroke, different folks. Try not to make judgemental broad strokes against entire communities. It's amusing to see people who have absolutely no idea what they are talking about being confidently ignorant and judgemental.

by Big-Conclusion 1 month ago

....you can't take the red flag from your monogamous relationship and use it to claim polyamory is worse. If you detest your relationship with one person, why do you think adding a 3rd to that same relationship would make it better? If you only ever considered polyamory to gang up on the other party, then you're not practicing polyamory. You're drowning in your own relationship and want to keep treading water by clinging and slowly dragging the other woman down with you. That's not polyamory, that's selfishness.

by Borerpaul 1 month ago

It works for us, but if it's not your thing, that fine. Communication is key, regardless.

by Bodegarrison 1 month ago

Meh as long as all parties are consensual.

by Wise-Influence 1 month ago

Agreed, it's disgusting.

by MusclePhysical4848 1 month ago

Agree it's no flex. Because one relationship isn't hard enough to navigate and so a 3-some or 5-some is going to work LOL. What I resent though is when one of them tries to draw you into their "circle" without being straight about it upfront. Predatory and nasty.

by Successful-Year1556 1 month ago

Agree with you.

by Natural_Caramel3522 1 month ago

Happily in an open marriage for 10 years now. I can't imagine monogamy at this point, or how* that could be healthy for anyone. Lol it's all perspective

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Genuinely curious, why be married if they're not able to satisfy your needs?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

What's your wife's type?

by micheal21 1 month ago

Do you mean what is she like or what does she like? She is like an angel (er nurse, total babe) as for what she likes, most people, she has the kindest heart.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

That's a great result for you, mate. Congrats.

by micheal21 1 month ago

I think men and women have evolved to compliment eachother, to work together to keep life going. Well, then i guess ill never have a happy relationship with other person.

by Strong-Commercial976 1 month ago

It works but there's a lot to consider and generally speaking anyone who doesn't already have their outside relationship lives sorted shouldn't even be in a 1-1 relationship let alone bringing more variables into a hectic and unstable life.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I don't really know anyone who's tried it in real life, I only ever see it in, like, erotic fiction lol. Maybe there's a perfect poly relationship out there somewhere, but I've yet to find any factual or anecdotal evidence.

by Adept_Simple 1 month ago

Promises and fantasy of thinking you'll be the 1 forever 😆. energy attractions cannot be denied its life nothing ever stays the same unless you are a tyrant and even under those conditions secrets and deep seeded resentments can play if felt trapped. Don't get comfortable, you may not be there again

by That_Difficulty_5858 1 month ago

I mean I don't understand it personally because it's not my thing but it doesn't affect me. I do feel bad for any children raised in these situations because it can negatively affect them

by Even-Tune4664 1 month ago

Is that when you speak more than three languages or you only eat Seafood?

by GreenLopsided4914 1 month ago

If consenting adults want polyamory, they should be free to do so. But I've known numerous poly people and none of them were healthy individuals and/or they didn't manage their desires in healthy ways. It always came down to either being too selfish to really be able to have a balanced relationship, or too insecure to be able to assert their need for balance. Maybe there are perfectly healthy polyamorous people, but you wouldn't know it for looking at any given "poly coffee" group.

by Suspicious_Trifle_53 1 month ago

I think you'll find most people are in monogamous relationships lol

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Well I could never, juggling multiple people sounds exhausting but I don't care what other people do with their lives.

by Hansenmartin 1 month ago

Everyone I know that made being poly their whole identity the past 5 years… is now monogamous and I think it's interesting. Because they didn't "rediscover monogamy" they are just finally enough for one person to commit to.

by Ancient_Cherry_7054 1 month ago

I don't double dip my chips, nor my dick. (I mean I don't have a dick to double dip but you get my point)

by No-Daikon-8720 1 month ago

Ethical monogamy is different than two people that are dysfunctional and abused to each other. Same with polyamory. What flipped my views of " it's all gross" is the same way I hold monogamous folks to a certain standard. Some are just super dysfunctional and gross, some are perfectly happy and healthy. Any critique I have to a polygamous coule can easily be directly to a monotonous one so I try and not judge what consenting adults do regardless of poly or not. Every person you date is an experiment and you learn by trying things out. Some love poly, some tried it and wasn't for them. Same with monogamy, some had whole marriages that ended in divorce , so became poly. Whatever rocks everyone's boat safely.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

This is probably a "popular" opinion considering polyamory is a minority lifestyle.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

What about a homosexual relationship? You say that men and women have evolved to compliment each other - how does a male-male or female-female relationship fit into your narrow view of the world?

by Brant75 1 month ago

agree, its repellant. not an unpopular opinion. most people want monogamous relationships

by Anonymous 1 month ago

This isn't unpopular. People have a "what two consenting adults do is none of my business" attitude, and they're right, but the vast majority of people would absolutely not engage in polyamory relationships personally.

by Specific-Hold5017 1 month ago

I will never be polyamorous but thats me. Personally Id rather it be so destigmatized that no one could ever use it as an excuse to cheat or ruin a relationship without accountability.

by Adellalarkin 1 month ago

I don't know if this counts as unpopular since it's still a pretty fringe/niche relationship style to begin with, but also I'd wager that many people don't exactly think highly of it, either—just look at how quickly the US is trying to delete anything and everything that isn't a heteronormative relationship and anyone who isn't cisgendered.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I don't think this is unpopular

by Small_Ad 1 month ago

Disagree Just cos it's not your thing don't judge it It gets a bag rep from the ppl where 1 partner wants it more than the other, which admittedly happens often. But other ppl DO have poly relationships that work.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Disagree because your premise isn't based on the actual want for polyamory but rather developed because you were trying to force a relationship that you shouldn't and seems to have still negatively impacted your views. If polyamory/poly marriage was like how the Denobulan's from Star Trek Enterprise practice it then it would be pretty damn advanced and good for people. Maybe we could eventually get to that point but it seems counter to evolution and we as a society generally don't seem to really care to fight evolution on that issue.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

People can and should choose what works for them. But to condemn it for others, including families with kids, I'd want to see studies that say it's inherently harmful.

by AttitudeHefty7460 1 month ago

The worlds most popular opinion

by uwintheiser 1 month ago

This might not be an unpopular opinion, but it is certainly a myopic one.

by OldProfessional 1 month ago

I know one poly throuple where they're all perfectly lovely people. I think the problem is a lot of people adopt the poly label because they just want to get laid more and they aren't prepared for everything that comes with it.

by oreillyshea 1 month ago

I don't agree that it's disgusting. I would say that there's definitely a venn diagram intersection between some folks in the poly community and other types of people who equally a bit annoyingly enthusiastic (to me) about their relationships. Lots of straight monogamous couples fall into this as well. That's really related more to personality than anything though -- some people are just naturally very performative about the thing they are in. I will say, those that do it successfully and genuinely are impressive though. You have to do a lot of work and have a high degree of investment to keep those plates spinning. For someone like me that can just barely muster the interest to handle one person in a serious relationship -- it's hard to fathom how people can pull this off with a multitude.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I had an ex come out randomly to me that she used to ONLY be in poly relationships and had strong feelings about opening our relationship up. I laughed and asked if she was serious, she replied emphatically yes and said she already had multiple ideas of people she had wanted to see , I kindly told her we wouldn't be seeing each other anymore and that she could have fun getting dicked down by all the dudes she wanted . She obviously tried to take it all back but that wasn't happening lol I ended things almost immediately, it made me feel like honestly she was already doing it behind my back anyway. I could see how it may work for some people and I'm not going to argue with anyone who wants to be this way , It's just not for me and that's fine.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I don't make it my business to judge relationships between consenting adults particularly as it has absolutely no bearing on my life.

by Apprehensive_Low709 1 month ago

Just because it didn't work out for you, it doesn't mean that polyamory is a bad thing. It sounds like you and your partner tried it in an attempt to fix your already failing relationship - you can't put a bandaid on a broken leg and expect the leg to heal.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Disliking polyamory is not an unpopular option by anyone's measure

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Polyamory is definitely not for me and I don't get it. But a bunch of people I know have polyamorous relationships and they're perfectly fine.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

*complement

by Rod33 1 month ago

If you think men and women evolved to complement each other and are basing your disgust on biology, then do you think being gay is disgusting?

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Yea and TLC is coming out with a dumb show on this lol

by Anonymous 1 month ago

I'm not even saying it's right or wrong, but why do you think humans have evolved to be so much different than any other primate?

by Admirable-Truth 1 month ago

I would never be open to a poly situation for any number of reasons. I have never seen a polyamorous situation that didn't end in disaster, fizzle out, or become monogamous once two people in it decided they were into each other. But if other people want to try it, that's none of my business.

by Doyle13 1 month ago

This is not unpopular, since consensual non-monogamy is highly stigmatized.

by Traditional-Stock756 1 month ago

I think you're just homophobic.

by Due-Read-9379 1 month ago

That's interesting. Before I got a divorce I also used to fantasize about polyamory. But instead of a woman I wanted another man to take my side/protect me from my husband. In the end I had to do it myself. For the best I guess. Obviously polyamory was not a solution.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

This isn't unpopular. Polyamory is disgusting.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

Poly here. I have a husband and two children whom I live with. My bf lives separately as does his other girlfriend. It's amazing having the ability to romantically love more than one person. Don't find it disgusting at all.

by ahmedfadel 1 month ago

As a species, we are not monogamous by nature. However, most people around today were raised in cultures that expect strict monogamy and don't know how to handle non-monogamy. The result is a lot of awkward, poorly executed attempts at non-monogamy. One thing that seems to be particularly difficult is transitioning a monogamous relationship into a non-monogamous one. That almost never works, because one partner is usually much more into it than the other one. It seems to work better if everyone enters the relationship knowing that they aren't looking for monogamy.

by Anonymous 1 month ago

You can just say it isn't for you. You don't have to belittle it and pass judgement

by Gullible-Ride-3364 1 month ago