Do you really think that my parents are the only thing that determines my self-esteem?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I think parents and gardens instill core beliefs in you when you're young

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Sure, but there are SO many other things that also affect you. If someone got mocked every day at school for their hair, do you really think a parent saying "But it looks great" will make them happy about it? As an adult, I know what suits me FAR better than my parents so why would I listen to them on it? Obviously I might go to them for advice but ... if your parents told you to be a doctor, does that mean you won't find any other career fulfilling?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

But... that is a big part of it. You are simplifying things so much. If someone's hair is naturally really curly and yet they feel much better and happier with long straight hair... that is ALOT of maintenance. They have to blow-dry and straighten it very regularly, they have to avoid humidity that might make it frizz up again, they need to buy a bunch of products to keep it healthy and clean through all of the treatment it gets. It could easily add 30 minutes alone to their daily schedule just to keep their hair clean. Is it REALLY unreasonable for someone to dislike their hair for being super curly when it just... doesn't fit them at all? It doesn't matter how much their parents say "Aww but your hair is great all curly" when the person KNOWS they prefer it so much more being straight.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Someone can love straightening their hair and keep it that way but I'm talking about the opinion they have of their natural hair there are tons of girls out there who keep their hair straightened, but love their curls just the same

by Anonymous 2 days ago

That's generalizing a great deal from a single example.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

And what about people who had parents who loved their hair but were bullied relentlessly for it in school? Situations like this are far more complex than "blame the parents"

by Mysterious_Try_2222 2 days ago

Then it's not just parents at large but the community of anti poc and pro straight featured people in a racist area will do that to you over time, but it's usually cause your parents didn't teach you to do your curly hair right which in itself seems like a accidental micro aggression

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Things have probably changed, but at this point in time, most states have instilled the crown act, including my own so things like this don't fly no more thank god

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I'm so confused, how young do you have to be to have that apply? My parents haven't chosen my hairstyle or did anything to my hair since I was like 6 years old

by Bright-Dig 2 days ago

Do you have curly/coily/kinky hair? If not that might be why. A 6yo child would probably not be able to maintain haircare and detangling if their hair are kinky, coily or curly. So, the parent or the guardian would have to help the child.

by Odd-Structure-7655 2 days ago

This goes hand-in-hand with what I'm talking about from the second I was born My mom learned how to do black hair immediately ( how to care for it, braid it, finger coil it) despite not having it on her own head and kept up with it until I could on my own so my parents showed me what to do and how to love it

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I'm sorry so straightening my hair because I like it that way means it's my parents fault? That's a wild assumption

by Fadelprincess 2 days ago

You can like having straight hair it's your opinion of your natural hair that your parents dictate I am touching on I said the straightening phase because when people talk about not liking their hair that seems to be a reoccurring thing

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I've been straightening my hair since I was in middle school. My parents love my hair. It's thick and the joke is I took that thickness from my mom because she lost her hair when she was pregnant with me. Me straightening my hair all throughout high school wasn't because my parents didn't know how to handle my hair or because they didn't like it. My parents even let me die my hair different colors and at one point it as all black because I was a witch for Halloween. My mom loved that I had self expression in my hair. Hell they even let me cut my hair like a mullet one year in middle school because it's what I asked for. So now in one of my school pictures I have a mullet. I think you are over generalizing hair in general based on your specific background. Trends occur and so does bullying. Back in my high school days crimping your hair was extremely popular. Even purposely frizzing your hair was a thing. So you call these "phases" as a way of saying that people don't like their hair because of their parents just isn't always the case. I agree that sometimes you don't like your hair because of your parents, but that's not always the case. I don't straighten my hair very often anymore. My hair is usually tied up now because my child likes to pull and yank on my hair. So it's best to just have it up all the time lol. My daughters hair is getting longer and I'm actually excited to start doing things with it. Like braiding or putting it in pigtails like my hair was at her age.

by Fadelprincess 2 days ago

So you don't think people can just have their own preferences and simply not like the hair they were born with? Plenty of people with straight hair want curls, and plenty with curls want it straight. Some love their hair, some don't regardless of texture, type, or colour. It's a personal preference, not a reflection of parenting.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I used to chemically straighten my hair because I got bullied at school. Had nothing to do with my parents. No amount of parental positive reinforcement could offset it. You're getting positive feedback from people around you because there's a natural hair movement in general - especially because chemical hair straighteners are now known to be linked to cancer. That wasnt the case for me growing up 20 years ago though

by Ok-Researcher-612 2 days ago

I am talking about thinking your hair is ugly but judging by the fact, your calling your hair unruly is what I mean I am talking about core beliefs and yes straight hair is easier but it's what you feel of your natural hair I am touching on

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I know exactly what you're touching on but no matter how much confidence I was given to love and own this pain in the ass hair, it's difficult and unmanageable. So I fully disagree with your take. Straight hair is much more fun and easier to manage and looks great on me. That's a choice, not a lack of confidence or my parents fault for not instilling it in me.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Some people are just more susceptible to pressure from society than others. Your experience of life is not universal. Not everyone is like you or experiences life like you. I'm sure parents love and approval of your hair type makes it more likely that you love your hair despite societal pressures. However, that might not be enough of an "inoculation" for everybody.

by Melodic-Budget2448 2 days ago

Meh. My mother LOVES my hair. I hate it. It's frustrating and heavy and doesn't hold style. My mom loves it when I hate it.

by Odieshields 2 days ago

Idk I could just like a different look that I don't naturally have or my natural hair could just be not that great.

by Interesting_Sock 2 days ago

I'm not talking about liking a different look I'm talking about the opinion you have of the hair that grows out your head i'm sure there's a tons of people that love to straighten their hair who don't feel negatively about their curls I said straightening phase because that seems to be a reoccurring experience with people who don't like their hair

by Anonymous 2 days ago

You hate taking care of it and I understand that and I can also understand chopping it but when your hair is done and maintained how do you feel about it? I'm talking about the opinion you have on how it looks

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Usually White people have no idea what you're talking about since they are largely the beauty standard with straight haired whites ,unless they have poc looking features like really curly hair or thick kinky hair , which it's up to their PARENTS to instill love and not let them fall down this insecure path of straitening their hair , until they learn to love it decades later pipeline I think we've all seen online , black women largely rely on wigs and weaves installs and braids extensions to be seen as professional in most settings , their natural hair grown out would seem unprofessional , for example

by Anonymous 2 days ago

i'd agree with that. i'm white with 2b hair, but my mom never really showed me how to take care of my waves, so it was weird looking or frizzy unless i styled it until only about 3-4 years ago.

by OddFan7915 2 days ago

My mom also learned how to do black hair the second she had me and my siblings so I never experienced that side of the coin but I think that might go hand in hand with my opinion of your parents determine the love you have for your hair

by Anonymous 2 days ago

What is 3c hair?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Google image "hair type"and you will see. I would have put a picture, but that option is not activated.

by Odd-Structure-7655 2 days ago