Having relationships is vastly superior to being single for years, amirite?

No one says you have to be alone lmao, I'm just saying it takes a strong mentality to be okay with it.

by Anonymous 4 days ago

Oh. Yeah I agree

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

Agreed. But being romantically alone is not a way for 99.9% of the human population to live it is not how we were made.

by Much_Carpet3113 4 days ago

Yeah, we are social creatures and socialization is important for good mental/physical health.

by Anonymous 4 days ago

I know a few guys in my night trade program who are into games, I just don't know how to get to the point of hanging out with them. I haven't had close friendships since early high school, so I don't "remember" how to grow in a friendship. I think it's just something that happens on its own, but it's harder for adults.

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

Ty man

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

If you rely on a relationship to be happy, that means you're unlikely to have a healthy relationship and it probably wouldn't last. It all starts from within.

by Anonymous 4 days ago

After a point, being single while wanting to date leads to depression and feelings of worthlessness. I think part of happiness does come from within, but we're meant to be in relationships at some point in our lives (unless someone is asexual or aromantic). I don't think trying to be happy alone for life can lead me to being as happy or fulfilled as I would be with a relationship. Otherwise, most people would likely do that instead of date.

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

I've felt in love before. The woman I had a fling with, and I, liked each other. It sucked that she had to move, but I can honestly say that I felt truly happy in that time.

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

Operative word: fling. There's a reason why the term "honeymoon phase" exists. Very easy to be infatuated when you barely know a person

by Anonymous 4 days ago

Well I can't have fun with anyone, or date. I'm not well-connected and I don't live in a big city (yet)

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

I'm working on saving for a move to a bigger city. I'd honestly rather have a toxic relationship so I could gain the relationship experience for a later and hopefully better relationship, than be single and go nowhere romantically.

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

How is it harder to get out of? Not disagreeing, I just don't understand. Wouldn't you just break up with the person and move on?

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

Hah... in theory that's what you'd do... but after you've been with someone for a while, in reality, it's rarely that simple. There's a whole dynamic going on that can make it hard to get away... Think about it... your life would be changing dramatically when you're ending a long term relationship. You'd be going back to being single (and lonely). And a lot of times, people just don't want to go there... so they drag the relationship out... sometimes for years.

by connor60 4 days ago

I can see that

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

Problem is, if your own happiness depends on another person, you're going to be a bit of a burden, because your happiness will crumble when that other person isn't in a position to make you happy... Due to own stress and issues or because they're away, don't have time to give you attention because a family member is sick etc. The moment the other person needs your support, your stability and positivity to bring them happiness, and you're down too because they're not being themselves and not being a great partner in a time of need, there's only going to be misery going around. More important and sexy than looking good, is someone who's mentally stable, with a positive attitude and has some interests and passions that keep him going and smiling.

by Keiraoconnell 4 days ago

I'm so certain it does feel isolating and I'm sorry for your pain. I try to encourage my single clients to go to in-person events and enroll in in-person activities based on their hobbies, go to a gym with people who are around the same age, go to fitness classes, get into local leagues, etc, do whatever it is you enjoy but try to attend in person instead of online. And then when you're alone try to spend more time outside, more time exercising, more time reading physical books, getting on a good sleep schedule. Being online is pretty much guaranteed to make you feel more isolated with very few exceptions.

by Moist_Spirit 4 days ago

This is good advice, but I live in a small town for now. I'll definitely get socially active when I move to a large city.

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

I had tons of friends and went out frequently and wasted time doing meaningless things. I wasn't lonely at all. Having a spouse is incomparable to having parents or even a million friends. There is no relationship you can get that will give you what your husband/wife can.

by Much_Carpet3113 4 days ago

This makes sense

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

a relationship is not going to solve your depression

by EducationalDig6665 4 days ago

Personally I'd rather never love at all than love and lose.

by Anonymous 4 days ago

It is.

by Anonymous 4 days ago

It's not superior lol. It's just your choice. You're not more important than single people, and single people are no less important.

by Anonymous 4 days ago

I am single. I'm saying from a chronically single person's perspective that I'd be happier and more fulfilled with a relationship.

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

Lots of people are in relationships. Lots of people are deeply unhappy. Also desperation stinks like BO. People can smell it on you. Its not endearing.

by DistrictSubject 4 days ago

Everyone finds it hard. Sometimes it doesn't work out. But the people I know that have the best relationships are pretty chill. All I'm saying is that if someone stinks of desperation, this is one of the biggest turnoffs I know.

by DistrictSubject 4 days ago

Yes

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

Move

by Schadentyrique 4 days ago

I can't yet because of finances. There's like 30 things that go into moving, we aren't migratory birds.

by Stantonbrandyn 4 days ago

Fair, but move when you can. It'll open up your dating pool.

by Schadentyrique 4 days ago

It's not that long-term singles aren't as important as coupled ones, it's just kind of hard to see who they're important to.

by One-Team 4 days ago