+56 Elderly people do not deserve respect just for being old, amirite?

by Anonymous 3 days ago

When I think of respecting the elderly, I think of opening the door for them and giving them my seat in a waiting area. My body is young and able, they are in chronic pain for the most part.

by jeffrey60 3 days ago

That is what I think of aswell.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Yeah respect should be given as a part of basic human decency. I think Op is more railing against the assumption that trust and authority should be a given, more than actually not wanting to have basic respect

by OneNervous 3 days ago

The problem is more often than not, most people are actually very rude to and dismissive of old people. So there's some of us who like to initially give them the benefit of the doubt and give them some respect because they usually are ignored. I try to give respect to everyone until they give me a reason not to. But yes a lot of old people are ass holes just like people of any other age.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Yeah, it has nothing to do with age. It just comes down to character. Some people develop some, and some don't. More often than not, younger people are actually much bigger ass holes.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

How others treat someone isn't my problem, if you become an asshole because a few people were rude to you, you were always an asshole.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

That isn't really addressing anything I said lol

by Anonymous 3 days ago

"most people are very dismissive and rude to old people." As if that's a reason for old people to be rude. We all should treat people with the same respect off the bat but the moment your rude to me for no reason, get bent. And it's consistently old people being rude for no reason.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

You're still putting words in my mouth. I never said it was a reason for them to be rude? I just said most people are rude and dismissive of them, which is true. Plenty of old people are not rude at all. You're otherwise just agreeing with me about being respectful to everyone unless they give you a reason not to.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

I read it like reasoning why elderly people are rude, my bad.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

And then there's you.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

You might want to acknowledge that sometimes we mean well, even if you find our discourse preachy and repetitive. We have had experiences you didn't, including raising a family as well as witnessing and experiencing avoidable pain, and we try to pass that on. To a certain degree, being able to pass on our hard-learned lessons is "what we have left". So listening (without the obligation to follow that advice) is also a form of respect.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

You wouldn't do that unless there is some form of respect.

by Thielabdul 3 days ago

i guess that's the problem with such a broad term like respect, everyone has their own slightly different version of it

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Respect is not only about admiring. It's also about acknowledging and caring. It's the "I see you" type of thing, that you "care" (in all types of meaning) about person in this particular moment/situation. No respect meaning ignoring person.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

That's moreso consideration than respect. The reality is that the old got more respect when it was actually an achievement to not die in your late 50's. Now that any idiot can live long it diminishes the prestige just like a bachelors degree ain't what it used to be

by Fit_Type 3 days ago

I don't understand this trend of treating "respect" as some special reward that you give out to people only once they've proved their worthiness. For example, even if I don't know you I will try to respect things like your personal space, your time, your privacy and oh the fact that you are a fellow human being. Where does this trend of respect being some prize one earns comes from? Has the definition changed in recent years?

by Larkinkelton 3 days ago

Disrespect must be earned. Meaning respect is to be given to others until they no longer earn it. I like this. Simple, yet a different worldview. Respect to you.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Anybody you meet regardless of age shouldn't have to "earn" your respect. They should have to lose it. You are implying that your default is being disrespectful until someone convinces you that they are worthy of your respect. Perhaps you aren't worthy of theirs.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

100% agree.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

I think you missed the point of the origin of this. Old people are often dismissed because they don't work any more, are frail, may seem to be a burden, and so forth - so people have suggested they shouldn't be disrespected if you just take them at face value and know nothing about them. There's more to them than just their appearance - unfortunately this is how we seem to judge most people. But I agree assholes don't reserve respect whatever their age.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Context: OP is probably talking about people who say "respect your elders" as means of control, dismissal or to excuse nasty behavior. The examples people are giving about holding doors and letting them sit down aren't really related. Grandma shouldn't be using "respect your elders" as a defense when the teenager she's been insulting for months finally snaps back at her. Mom should not say "respect your elders" when someone points out that the "friendly old neighbor" makes them uncomfortable. The elderly in your family don't get to use "respect your elders" to justify dismissing any criticism of bad decisions or bad behavior.

by Harbergiuseppe 3 days ago

Well said. Yes, I probably could have differentiated that better

by Anonymous 3 days ago

You're probably right. Too bad they couldn't articulate it.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

I disagree with your first sentence. Respect should be given. It's something that people lose through their actions.

by East-Scratch 3 days ago

how do you decide if an elderly person is good or bad when you see them needing help? Would you spend some time observing them to decide, asking them if they are bad people, or just ignoring them since you can't really tell if they deserve the respect.

by Civil-Apricot 3 days ago

That's the issue I see. People disrespecting elders just because they are elderly and they make assumptions about them. It's ridiculous and wrong

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Everyone deserves basic human dignity and respect until they show you otherwise. The fact that you feel otherwise proves that you are worthy of neither.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Came here to say this.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

I think this opinion is only really unpopular to old people

by Rohanrussel 3 days ago

Meh, I give respect until they give me a reason not to respect them. Maybe it's just the way I was raised... "respect your elders" is a thing in my family and i dont have a problem with it. 🤷‍♀️

by Electronic_Recipe 3 days ago

Every person should Be Respected ! No matter what their AGE! I find many people today have No Filter and say and do whatever they Feel like,without regard for the feelings of others!

by Albinakeebler 3 days ago

Maybe consider that they're thinking the exact same thing about you.

by CandleCreepy 3 days ago

daddy and mommy issues you have

by Puzzleheaded_Mark583 3 days ago

You're confusing respect with obedience.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

I'm quite sure you have NO IDEA of what respect is..

by Future_Influence 3 days ago

And being young is not an accomplishment. Young people do not deserve anything just for being young. But every one should be treated w respect. Unless or until they show they don't deserve it.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

respect isn't something you earn as much as it is something you loose

by Wild-Long 3 days ago

I think you're a bad person.

by Ok_Record 3 days ago

Well as the young kids say "SDIYBT"

by alex16 3 days ago

Exactly. This is why you should be nice to everyone - you have no idea what they are going through!

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I am Gen X. I hear a lot more complaints about boomers from younger generations than mine

by Thielabdul 2 days ago

You're right. It's become a bit of a meme at this point, but honestly, it's unfair. There's a lot of blame placed on boomers, and while every generation has its blind spots, most people were trying to do the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had at the time. It's easy to point fingers at a group in hindsight, but life is complex. Just like younger generations are navigating overwhelming challenges now, older generations faced their own trials, many of which shaped the opportunities we have today. A little empathy and perspective from our kiddos goes a long way.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I agree for like older people, but I understand respecting really elderly people because they are like deteriorating

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Yes, they do. They have earned it through living life & the knowledge that comes with that. Disrespecting your elders shows a lack of class. It's also an embarrassment to your parents, unless you were raised by wolves

by Anonymous 2 days ago

"The knowledge that comes with that".... Key point that many of them fail at which is why so many do not deserve the 'respect' that they think they deserve. Also respect is a loaded word. Plenty (if not most) old people fail to acknowledge that it is a two way street.

by Bruenmaude 2 days ago

Theres a difference between disrespecting them and them demanding extra respect just because they're old.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I think people often underestimate what it takes to make it to old age. These folks have survived illness, loss, hardship, and decades of change, things many of us can't fully understand yet. Reaching your later years is no small feat, and with that longevity comes experience and perspective worth listening to. You don't have to worship someone just because they're older, but there's a lot of value in giving them some grace and curiosity. They've lived through history we only read about.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Very few people do this, your point is childish.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

A lot of them do, they dismiss my points and my knowledge just because they happened to fall out of an womb a couple of decades before me. A lot of them behave like being born before me is an accomplishment that should be respected on its own.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

people are people--age makes no difference. asshole or altruistic--they come in all different sizes.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Maybe this is a difference of defining the word respect. I respect everyone unless they give me a reason not to. But I do agree that simply living longer doesn't give someone special consideration.

by sylvester51 2 days ago

Yep, you're absolutely right. I worked as a waiter between ages 16-21 and the rudest, most self entitled people were those 60+. I never once had a problem with anyone in their teens/20s/30s.

by Vegetable-Acadia1792 2 days ago

Depends where you live I guess, where I'm living it is very much a thing

by Anonymous 2 days ago

So what's the baseline? Where do you start?

by East-Scratch 2 days ago

I mean I don't respect old people just for being old, I respect everyone equally until they give me a reason to think otherwise. I agree, I think respecting people solely for their age is dumb, but at the same time so is disrespecting people for their age. No one chose when to be born. There are lots of respectful old people and lots of disrespectful ones. Just like people of all age groups.

by Ill-Capital1948 2 days ago

Respect is not yes or no, it's a spectrum. A respectrum some might call it. I believe people should show respect in the form of courtesy to all people. Respect can also be interpreted as admiration, and that is something that should be earned.

by Veumemil 2 days ago

Respect has two meanings. One is like common courtesy as in being respectful. The second meaning is deep admiration. When someone says, "respect your elders", it means treat them with courtesy. It does not mean that you have to deeply admire them. Every time I see this come up it's always young people thinking they're being told to admire old people because they're unaware that respect has more than one meaning. No, you don't have to be polite or respectful toward old people, but you should try to be.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I don't think respect means you have to do whatever they say, or stay quiet if they're rude and ignorant towards you. But one can respect them by listening to them and not brushing them aside and recognising that their bodies are weaker than young people's so they may need help at times.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

When you say you think "a lot of old people are just entitled assholes", do you mean the majority, or just a large number of people.

by wilhelmkoelpin 2 days ago

I don't believe in earning respect. I believe in losing respect

by Anonymous 2 days ago

At what point would you respect a child?

by Econn 2 days ago

As my girlfriend said - I'll give respect to old people one time, if they don't give it back, I'll take it. I'll give respect a second time, if they don't give it back, I'll take it. But for the third time? If you disrespect me, I'll disrespect you and won't bat an eye. I think old people deserve to be given more respect at first than normal random people. Why? They have lived longer lives, lived through God knows what and are still kicking. But if they don't treat you back the same way after a few times, they don't deserve it anymore.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I respect people, across-the-board, and maybe in particular elders , unless somebody gives me a reason not to. A complete stranger doesn't have to prove to me they're worthy of my respect . OP sounds like an entitled brat

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I can already tell what kind of person you are. Ironically, very entitled. Respect your elders just means being a decent person. I guess you've failed that part.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

In my opinion everybody deserves respect until that respect is lost. If you can't respect someone how can you expect them to ever respect you? I feel like respect is the lowest bar for how to treat someone.

by hesseljoel 2 days ago

Respect noun a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. So yea, being old doesn't mean having abilities/qualities/achievements to be admired and do not deserve automatic respect, that is, unless they live in some perpectual war zone and requires certain skills or abilities to earn their survival into old age. In that case they may earn some people's respect by being a competent surviver.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I agree. And by extension no young people deserve respect because they are too young to have done anything worthy of respect yet.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I think it made sense for Gen X'ers and older to respect the elders, because the chance of them participating in the war effort was super high. So you'd respect them for fighting in either WW1 or WW2. That is definitely worthy of respect. But certainly now, for younger millennials, zoomers, and alpha, the pool of respectable elders is a lot thinner. In my country, there are literally less than 8000 ww2 vets left. And the generation immediately after that are absolute helmets. So I'd say before, respect was more implicit because you could assume safely they fought in the war. That implicit respect became expected. And now the generations that came after expect it despite doing nothing to earn it.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

There's a baseline level of respect that I give to all people. It's called being a decent human being.

by One_Needleworker 2 days ago

Respect should be a given as part of basic human decency

by OneNervous 2 days ago

Respect is given and trust is earned. However, respect can be disappear if appropriate. Keep in mind, one thing about old people is they change mentally and many don't realize it and live in their own world mentally.

by treutellora 2 days ago

Everyone deserves respect but what many elderly people want is not respect but deference, and that is definitely earned and rarely given.

by Royal_Drama7802 2 days ago

I don't think this should be an unpopular opinion, but in many places sadly it is.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Anyone who ever worked with customers (myself included) can agree with you

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Yeah just because you're old doesn't mean you can't be a dickhead. If you were a dickhead when you were young and never changed, you're just an old dickhead, not worth respecting.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I agree with this, grandma have strenght to go 1km to church stay in there for 2 hours and then after whole day of physical work I have to give them my seat in bus only for her to split on me bc I don't have church wedding with my fiance and we live together.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I will bet my left ear OP is a zoomer.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

True. Some are assholes.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I respect a person who respects others, regardless of their age. I will gladly stand up or offer my seat if you are respectful. However, if you expect everyone to simply move aside without saying a word, that won't happen. To me, default respect can sometimes mask truly awful behaviour. This also applies to individuals with disabilities; just because you have a disability doesn't justify treating others poorly. The same goes for pregnant women who have reserved seating on public transit. You chose to get pregnant, so why should I be inconvenienced and expected to stand after a long, exhausting day? As for obese individuals, that is often a result of personal choices. I don't believe I should have to stand or be made uncomfortable just because someone has neglected their health to the point they take up two seats

by Anonymous 2 days ago

People who eat too much are experiencing some sort of pathology. Having been fat in the past myself, I know the pain that causes eating yourself into oblivion and then dealing with the results of that. Looking in the mirror and dressing is awful. It's also physically very uncomfortable- you can't breathe as well, or bend over and everything you do takes more effort like you're carrying a 50 lb sack of potatoes. Then there's having to deal with people who look down on you for being fat. Fat people are miserable and they don't want to be fat. If it weren't incredibly difficult to lose the weight, no one would be overweight.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

This is only unpopular with elderly people

by Complex_File 2 days ago

Yeah! I'm not opening doors or being polite to old people until they prove themselves to me!

by SensitiveTap 2 days ago