Telling kids to stand up to bullies doesn't work. amirite?

Worked out for me

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Worked for me too. They attacked me when I was in first year of high school, I retaliated like a crazy mf. Never got attacked by anyone else for all the remaining of my high school years.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Oh yea I got suspended lol no real legal trouble but still

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Usually as kids you probably won't as long as you don't go WAY over board lol.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Yea my bully pushed my head into the bus window when I was just sitting there minding my business. I wear glasses and it cut my nose. I then jumped the seat and beat the brakes off him just like my dad showed me with the punching bag at home. He never messed with me again. He actually became a really nice guy later in life which I'm happy to see. He apologized for his actions before we graduated.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Same. Had 2 bouts of suspension for "fighting" before I made it out of school, but after each of those incidents I wasn't attacked again for many years. 2nd streak still going strong. Many many years.

by Kindly-Bicycle 2 days ago

It works better if the kid getting bullied can put a good beatdown on the bully. As the bully deserves. Otherwise it's better to have an older brother or something do it. The teachers know who's responsible anyway, they just don't care

by No_Law1996 2 days ago

Alas that technique never quite worked on jr high girls

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I've seen just about as many videos filming/making fun of ‘weird kids' who are standing up for themselves angrily/in a‏‏‎ ‎ way that's seen as weak/cringe as I have of them just being weird in general. Cruel people will laugh EVEN HARDER at ‘pathetic attempts' to stand up for yourself. So you have to make sure you're doing it in the 100% correct way, which is likely not going to happen if you're already in the position of being bullied

by Johnseverett 2 days ago

I tell my kids to use proportional force and then let me deal with the fallout.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Its a case to case basis really. More likely then not its better to stand up and accept the heavier short term consequences then deal with the worse long term consequences of doing nothing. As for the teachers, they obviously know who is who in the scenario. Ask yourself who would want to be a teacher growing up: The bully, or the victim?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I'm old now but when I was in school I was bullied. One day I punched back and kicked too.. after that I was left alone. Still mocked but no move shoving or passing arm punches etc

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Sometimes "stand up to" translates to "fight them" whereas I direct my kid to stand up for themself by diffusing the situation. Laugh at what they're laughing at, confuse them, lean into the joke, or make a better one. Laughter is one of the best ways to diffuse a negative situation, at least for kids. Depends on the age, also. Mines 8

by swiftfederico 2 days ago

Worked for me. First one, I punched in the face Second one, called the cops on him after he attacked me and asked them to visit the guy's home. His parents weren't impressed. Warned him I'd sue Never had an issue afterwards

by MountainRisk8011 2 days ago

Yeah, I don't think there's a universal solution to bullying. Like everyone else, bullies are individuals. Standing up to them might work. Or it might make them come back at you twice as hard because they don't want you to have the last laugh.

by Slow_Employ 2 days ago

Worked for me

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Punching the bullies straight in their stupid faces worked for me. Probably because they didn't expect the nerdy loner in the corner reading by himself to know how to throw hands.

by sigurd70 2 days ago

Bullies are absolute wimps Best to ruin their day if not change their face

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Nah, it works.

by Key-Zookeepergame 2 days ago

Yeah it does. Like most things in like sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. However it's better to actually try to do something instead of just taking it.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

It does work, the problem is people tell them to stand up but not how to do it. You should give them some help and not just send them off without saying anything else

by goodwinkali 2 days ago

Probably my only fight ever in school was with a bully. Bullied me for a week. Week 2 he started again and i had enough. i put him in the hospital. I got suspended. But was never bullied again. I was such a good kid my dad didn't make things bad at home. He made sure i had food and said don't go too far from the house. My entire family we were all good kids especially school. I can say my dad raised us well. We weren't the type to get suspended. I think i was the only one in the family to ever be suspended pr fought in school

by demarcus64 2 days ago

Advocating for not hitting back is just creating perpetual victims. Such a victim mentality mindset. I'd be willing to bet if there is a study out there done on this on people who are bullied, and the frequency of those bullied after fighting back.. There will be a drastic reduction Source - yet another of the hundreds of people on here bullied who fought back, and never got bullied again. Not even as an adult.

by Technical_Quail9393 2 days ago

I wasn't advocating for not hitting back, I was making the point that people tell kids who are bullied to fight as if this will solve the problem and I've never seen it work. There's usually one kid in every class who's scapegoated and when they do anything back it gets much worse.

by gracielabecker 2 days ago

It's a really tough situation and I don't think there is a one sized fits all approach. In some cases, schools absolutely need to intervene more. In advising ones kids...for mine I try for minor issues to give choices....like if a kid uses hands on you, you can ignore or tell the teacher (your choice) just don't use hands back.

by Christian83 2 days ago

These kids are 6. And sometimes the teacher only sees my kid hit back and thinks he hit first. So he's in trouble. Also usually the 6 year hitting isn't particularly violent at the best of times so advocating to double the hitting isn't great parenting in my book.

by Christian83 2 days ago

100%. Outside of fiction standing up to a bully only escalates things, they want you to stand up and make it bigger its what they crave.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

just chiming in - same here .

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Most bullies crave a feeling of power that they don't have elsewhere in their lives. But they don't want things to escalate, because then they won't feel powerful. I never got rid of a bully by ignoring them. Hitting them with a chair worked, though. Nobody wants to mess around with that kind of energy.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Really? My brother punched out his bully in high school, got a suspension and had a hard time getting car insurance because of a "history of violence." I guess it also matters when your bully's dad is rich.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I don't believe you.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Ya no one ever gets in trouble for taking a bat to someone's knee.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

If your being beaten authorities should work, verbal bullying is harder to get them in trouble for but if you're being attacked that's different.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Nope. I've seen it work multiple times. Works on adult bullies too.

by Key-Zookeepergame 2 days ago

Assaulting adults as a solution? Sounds like a good way to catch a charge.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Honestly, the only language most bullies understand is fists to face. 90% of the idiots who picked on me backed off after I kept decking them. Didn't want to, but all other paths had failed

by lilyancronin 2 days ago

Facing our fears always works with time. Humans are anti-fragile. When I was in grade 3 I would tell people to beat me up after school, just so I can laugh at them ‘hit me harder :P' basically. If you don't stand up to bullies, and then get fearful, intimidated, then they see prey and make themselves feel powerful. This is universal in the animal kingdom.

by Furman44 2 days ago

It works when you stand up by punching them in the face and breaking their nose.

by No_Aardvark9227 2 days ago

And telling them to accept and take it is much worse

by Anonymous 2 days ago

What, exactly, do you suggest?

by OkWhole34 2 days ago

I think adults should supervise the class appropriately and discipline the bullies.

by gracielabecker 2 days ago

So you don't actually have a solution for the kids who're getting either no support at all from the adults or being told to stand up for themselves, you just want an ideal world.

by OkWhole34 2 days ago

How is teachers being expected to do their jobs an "ideal world"? I've never seen a case of one on one bullying. It's ALWAYS a clique of "popular" kids ganging up on and turning the whole class against one kid.

by gracielabecker 2 days ago

How exactly does that work outside the classroom and with cyberbullying? There's far too many things school staff are grossly unaware of and, in some cases, this causes the victim blaming you mentioned because of their lack of awareness.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

this only works if you can fight. if you can't fight it'll only make it worse. unfortunately some ppl are naturally weak so what about them? maybe they even have a disability or health concern that is at risk in a fight

by NewsSoggy 2 days ago

I'm a nihilist. I feel nothing.

by Anonymous 2 days ago