+70 Being friends with your coworkers is 100% normal and makes sense. amirite?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I mean we have our ups and downs for sure but in the grand scheme of things there's much worse ways to spend my time. And I get paid pretty good for it too which helps a lot

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Damn I would do anything to get this kind of job…

by Charliekovacek 2 days ago

Yeah I got pretty lucky admittedly. I build a lot of water treatment systems, I get thrown a huge pile of pipe and fittings, and drafted drawings/schematic (if I'm lucky) and told 'build this'. I think of it like a giant Lego/Meccano set but I gotta measure/cut/glue/press everything. myself and get a lot of job satisfaction out of building a mint looking product from a pile of stuff, and take a lot of pride in my work. A lot of it is mindset too though. I gotta do SOMETHING to earn a crust, I might as well lean into and make the best of it

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Are you a bank robber? Cos that sounded like it could be from HEAT. I love that movie

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Oh true ahaha I haven't seen it XD imma need some context :P

by Anonymous 2 days ago

You get paid to go to work, you pay to go to the gym. very different

by Anonymous 2 days ago

You also do deadlifts at the gym and not at work. We could list plenty of differences, the analogy still works fine for what I intended.

by gottliebjacques 2 days ago

True for the most part. There are unsociable people in certain tech roles that have a skillset that make them hard to replace, and they have their choice of employers when they do leave (and they know they can get away with that behavior). The thing is that a lot of unsociable people who are easily replaceable overestimate their importance because they 'do their work so well' and those will crash and burn. And of course a lot of higher up people are selectively social with people they know can get them up further in the organization, but can be a nightmare to work under.

by ThroatPrevious3812 2 days ago

Also have friends at work makes you more likely to not leave the company which is why some companies push for it. Like my job is currently hosting a soft ball league. Free food and those who play get to leave an hour early. Which is fine no one thinks thats unfair cause the last hour of the day is just us chilling. I usually use that hour to get quick workout.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I think it's more a different definition of friends. I hold the opinion to not be friends with coworkers, but my definition of friends isn't everything you said. Doing all that is a good thing with colleagues but I trust friends with my secrets and more. My colleagues are humans that I have to spend time with and I'll definitely be nice to them, help them if possible and have a good time with them.

by Christianmorar 2 days ago

This man your with these people more time than your own family in most cases so making friends at work goes hand to hand to me

by Anonymous 2 days ago

My friends hella close to his co workers. They be goinng on hikes and running together every weekend.

by Pfefferbridgett 2 days ago

the mentality "I don't owe anyone anything." Yeah and then they cry about loneliness crysis. Come on, people weren't magically making friends from thin air during human history, colleagues have always been a major source of socialization, right after childhood friends. Western individualism is insane.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I mean is this really unpopular? I think everyone can agree with this but there is no obligation to become "friends"

by Many-Day-6065 2 days ago

Found my wife at work, don't see anything wrong with it :) Just make sure the job is done, you know.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

like %15~ of people meet their partners through work. It's where I and many others meet the most people. some people cause drama and stuff, but for many others, it's genuinely a very good way of finding someone .

by hiltontrantow 2 days ago

15% good or what?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

1/6~ is pretty good imo.

by hiltontrantow 2 days ago

If only 15% of people meet their partner at work, that means 85% don't, which makes it a minority pathway, not a dominant one. Citing that stat as proof that workplace dating is common or totally fine is a rhetorical stretch. It's trying to reframe a weak number as supportive, but it ends up doing the opposite. It's like calling a 1.5-star Yelp review "pretty good." Caveat: I actually met my partner at work, lol. So I'm not even against the idea, just scratching my head at the logic being used.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Yeah, my partner and I are colleagues. We don't work in the same department and don't work in the same projects so if something were to happen between us, it wouldn't affect work. I can understand being wary of dating people you work closely with regularly, that could be a mess in the event of a breakup.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

"we are coworkers not friends" is a pretty popular sentiment

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Never seen it anywhere I've worked. Sure - maybe it's a thing among the anti-social internet denizens. But they don't count.

by DataMaximum 2 days ago

Depends on the situation. Work friend wants to grab a beer or go bowling? Sure. Dude starts asking for money? Yeah bruh, we're not that close.

by Soggy-Thought 2 days ago

Not that it's advisable to lend much money to friends. You'll lose the money and the friend

by Anonymous 2 days ago

If I have some "spare" that I can live with out I usually help out close friends. Hard times and all that jazz.

by Soggy-Thought 2 days ago

So? It's not a zero sum game.

by ReceptionFar 2 days ago

alright..

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Also work = exploitation Not true and also not relevant.

by Breitenbergcice 2 days ago

Pretty sure they were being sarcastic.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I've honestly never heard any stigma around becoming friends with coworkers and hanging out with them outside of work. Maybe its a generational thing, but as an elder millenial, most of the friends I've made were coworkers or people I met through coworkers. Not dating your coworkers is definitely the one I've always heard throughout the years.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

From what I've seen, it goes hand in hand with people fighting return to office mandates.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Never understood that either. I sit next to my coworkers 5 days a week, minimum 8 hours each day, how can I not befriend them lol

by Anonymous 2 days ago

exactly, life is a lot better when you at least get along and chat with coworkers.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I guess it may depend on how you're defining friends. I'm friendly with my coworkers but I'm not likely to ever see one outside of work on purpose.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

when you at least get along and chat

by Anonymous 2 days ago

That's not the definition of a friend.

by Routine_Champion_414 2 days ago

If that counts as a friend then I'm pretty popular guy huh.

by Soggy-Thought 2 days ago

The question is about definitions. You can be friendly with them and even spend time together and do stuff and so on, which is "friends" on a basic level but isn't the same as a true friend. The big difference is, if they leave or you quit, will you ever actually see them again? Chances are the answers for most of them is no, which means they weren't a real friend, just a friendly acquaintance. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, life is filled with people we are friendly with, and it is all the richer for it. Just don't make the mistake of confusing one for the other, because that can lead to some deeply disappointing moments.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I just flew across the Pacific to attend a wedding of a former co-worker, and another former co-worker flew across the Atlantic to join us. It happens.

by Maybelleryan 1 day ago

Sure, it can and does, but it's rare

by Anonymous 1 day ago

There's plenty of reels on IG saying "Don't trust your coworkers" or "Coworker friends are just getting to drama" And tbh, I feel like… maybe this works for toxic people?? But every job I've ever worked at, I've made friends and it truly makes the work day SO MUCH more bearable. And personally, I don't talk about work to my friends. In fact our convos are literally a little mental break AWAY from work. Sure we vent about the day, but it's not all we talk about or worry about.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

You'd be amazed at how often people throw all their "friends" under the bus as soon as something disciplinary happens at work. Got caught breaking X policy? Oh I'll tell you everyone else doing it plus all the other stuff they do.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I think it's fine to make friends with coworkers. I just don't think it should be expected of you. If you just want to do your hours then go home, that should be acceptable too. I already have a friend group, I don't want to be expected to go out drinking with coworkers once work ends. At that point it's no longer a real friendship, it's just another work obligation. And I say that as someone who tries to be friendly with my coworkers. But yeah, if you happen to make genuine friends with your coworkers, more power to you.

by Odd_Channel_7987 1 day ago

How is this different experience than any other friendship in school or university?

by Careful-Athlete 1 day ago

Guess true about the responsibility being different but I think the pressure to go out is pretty strong too in uni, especially because of FOMO. There's so many times where I go to parties, pub, or just any social events where I would have prefer to be at home or doing my coursework but can't because once you don't go, you might lose out on the friend group. Though I don't know what it's like at work, didn't know about the pressure to socialize after work. Is it personal by the coworkers or one encouraged/planned by the company or higher up as team bonding?

by Careful-Athlete 1 day ago

I'd say it's not specifically mandated that you spend time with people. But you'll hear someone approach your desk at 4:30 and say "we're all going to the pub, let's go" then you have to face some push back in the "ahh come on don't be lame" spirit. It's a bit political in a way, too. Really easy to get face time with a boss, a higher boss, etc. and a lot of people value that opportunity to shmooze with people who can get them promoted.

by Elijahwolff 1 day ago

I'm not going to lie, it sounds exactly like how it's in uni too, friendships becoming more political, I'm guessing it's because every career service keep emphasizing making "connections"

by Careful-Athlete 1 day ago

The difference is that you don't have as many responsibilities while you're in school Business major?

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Computer science , doesn't even come close to the amount of responsibility working in industry

by Elijahwolff 1 day ago

Been in tech 10yrs. Just a month ago finished a hellish 9 month slog of ungodly hours. Still easier than a physics + math degree and twice as easy as getting a graduate degree in engineering. Still made friends. Maybe I was just too dumb for school.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

The difference is at university, your ability to graduate and get opportunities isn't as intrinsically tied to your socializing. Sure, you can meet contacts at uni that can help you, but they aren't your boss. Your peers at university don't determine whether you get a raise, promotion, or get fired if there are layoffs. Even if it isn't your boss, a coworker can torpedo you if they are better acquainted with your boss and they talk about you. At work, not socializing can cost you a lot. It varies from job to job, but it is always some sort of factor.

by emiedaniel 1 day ago

What company expects that? Besides the occasional work happy hour or some other outside work hour even that happens 4 times a year at most.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

no company expects that but people do. They get in their feelings if you do not wish to reciprocate their friendship

by Samson96 1 day ago

If we vibe sure but most times it's kept to being work friends

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I agree but it primarily depends on the job. I work in a drug and alcohol rehab, I have to be able to trust and rely on my coworkers and that's a lot easier if we are all friendly and get along. We hold each other accountable, we support each other, and we check in to make sure everyone is ok mentally. Our job is draining and stressful as hell. But this works because it's necessary and it's necessary because of the population we work with. I have to be able to trust my coworkers because I can't trust the addicts we seek to help. Active addicts, or addicts in early recovery, are some of the most manipulative people you can ever meet. So being accountable, caring, and honest with my coworkers is completely normal here in a way that hasn't existed in another place I've worked in.

by fletcher06 1 day ago

They say that to protect you. I go fishing with the guys I work with every weekend. But this is the first job I've had in a long time where I genuinely trust the people I work with. TONS of employees will pretend to be friends and backstab you at the company intentionally or unintentionally or tell someone at work your personal business they let slip or what they saw on your social media. Some will deliberately spill bad laundry about you on purpose for ulterior motives. Some can't help themselves. I've seen it thousands of times.

by Vandervortdomen 1 day ago

I mean, I think it's fine to be friends with your coworkers but some people seem to think you HAVE to be friends with your coworkers which I disagree with. You can work just fine alongside people without being friends with them and you shouldn't assume everyone you meet is worth being friends with or even wants to be friends with you. Forcing friendship out of coworkers is a terrible idea and leads to workplace tension

by PlanAutomatic 1 day ago

Yeah, this. If you get along with some coworkers and you are friends thats totally fine, OP seems to think people are avoiding friendships because its a work environment when they very well could just not be interested. Never had a coworker who I got along with say they dont want to be friends just because of work.

by Aggravating-Ring7221 1 day ago

In a perfect world... yes. In ours, its tricky. Depending on the job and position, you need to be very, very careful who are you making friends with, to the point that if you think you're not good at telling who it should be, its best to be a friend of no one.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Many coworkers wear a mask. Some of those wearing a mask will throw you under the bus to make them look better to management. Always be diligent. The clearest tell tale sign of one of these back stabbers are the ones that tend to complain about everyone in confidence to you. They are 100% doing the same to you when you aren't around. Real ones tends to be the those that brighten up when they see you but don't go looking for you to chat and waste time throughout the day. Those that you can depend on to get a task done and genuinely have a good time when working on a team project.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I mean, by the "share interests and spend all week together" logic, it really should apply to work! You spend even more time at work with coworkers and I would assume if you work on the same field, that's at least some common ground! Work besties are a real thing and you need them! You're in the trenches together. 😅

by Anonymous 1 day ago

it is not stupid. if you've worked long enough you know you can't just trust your coworkers. they are there to make money. some of them will throw you under the bus for a chance of more money. you've never been betrayed my friend. it all comes down to whether you're okay with that risk. but it is not stupid and baseless.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

You can't imagine how common that is in some environments...

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I can imagine it but I'm not stupid enough to ever work in an environment like that in the first place.

by EnthusiasmOne4058 1 day ago

That's the thing, you usually don't know beforehand. An given how the job market looks like now, well...

by Anonymous 1 day ago

There's no way I would have survived ANY of my jobs without my coworkers. I don't care what anyone says. Those relationships are vital.

by Leorawaelchi 1 day ago

I agree with this opinion but there's definitely nuance to it depending on the workplace, situation, etc.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I don't know how this is unpopular. Almost My entire friend group is from various work projects. A few from outside of work. But why wouldn't I want to be friends with the people I work with?

by MasterEmergency 1 day ago

Work is basically like school for adults. You're all trapped in the same place for many hours a day and see each other almost every day. To never socialize with anyone in this space and become work friends at least with some woud be serial killer behavior. It is so weird how some people go into a job with such an antisocial mentality. As if they can't do their job well and be friendly and talk to other human beings

by Inevitable-Neck 1 day ago

Hard disagree. I have no desire to talk about anything besides work while at work. I have no desire to be friends with my coworkers outside of work.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I like becoming friends with my coworkers. It makes work so much more enjoyable. We work as a better team and are more effective. I've been friends with coworkers in most of my jobs. That being said, I have only stayed close to one or two here or there through the years. Most work friendships have fizzled out once I change jobs.

by alanconnelly 1 day ago

Agreed. Some of my best friends are my former coworkers. We used to do weekly/monthly hangouts that started over a decade ago and we still hang out (albeit really less frequently) to this day.

by Equal_Yam5597 1 day ago

I feel like that's more like an american corperate thing As every here in the netherlands and in germany always have been friends Talking about like the average retail job no idea how it is in gigantic face less Companys

by Trantowjose 1 day ago

Yes, you can certainly make friends with coworkers and there is nothing wrong with that. However, it is absolutely not a requirement like some people seem to think.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

My coworkers are my only and best friends so I agree. But you still have to set platonic boundaries because the work relationship is more important than the friendship. At least for me bc I love and need my job

by kerlukemarshall 1 day ago

Agreed. I've never understood the sentiment that having positive (even friendly) relations with people you spend huge amounts of your time with is somehow rudimentary compared to relationships with friends and family. If we vibe, we vibe… if the vibe is at work then all the better (imo).

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I'd go further and say people who close themselves off to friendships at work are denying themselves what could be the best friendships of their lives.

by Gaylord87 1 day ago

I mean yeah there are a couple of guys I don't want to hang out with outside of work-- there's a couple of guys I think are assholes But I generally keep those feelings to myself unless a major line is crossed The team I work with day to day? Those are my boys If I'm smoking a blunt out back those boys can always get a hit

by Interesting_Win2085 1 day ago

I make friends everywhere I go, even at work as an engineer. I don't discriminate. If we vibe then we vibe 😎

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I couldn't agree more. I belive it's necessary for my sanity.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

nah.... i dont particuarly want to make friends where i work. not a good idea.

by eloystoltenberg 1 day ago

Probably depends a lot on which job. Most of my closest friends are from my work but it'll never be a problem for me it's great

by Southern-Western-808 1 day ago

That's a luxury. My job is all business. We respect each other but it's inappropriate to hang out outside of work. Sure if you're in the service industry or never expect to get promoted you can make friends and neglect your purpose. Don't you have enough family and friends outside of work to vent about work to? Sure it is easier to live with the mentality of one size fits all and be the same person everywhere, but that's not being good at work.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Get promoted regularly, working professional, still made a few friends in my career. I literally don't know what you're on about

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I personally just don't want to make more friends at work…I'm happy with my small group I have now. I don't want to have to then be like I don't want to go to this work outing all the time

by harryreinger 1 day ago

eh idk bc they can turn on you and you can get fired and lose out on money. there's more at stake.

by earnestbradtke 1 day ago

Yep this is so true. Same with flatmates, it's not like a normal friendship where if things go wrong you just cut ties. Your living situation and livelihood depends on the wellbeing of that relationship. I usually don't like to get too close with flatmates/coworkers for this reason. I'll be courteous but I'm not gonna hang out if I dont need to

by gottliebjacques 1 day ago

100% this. Love to have friends at work but am very wary of it. Someone stabbing me in the back or trying to prevent my promotions or anything like that directly affects my finances and so my family who depends on me.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

A classmate can also turn on you and get you kicked out of school.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

totally get that! but you have parents to back you up (usually) whereas with work a lot of times it's just you.

by earnestbradtke 1 day ago

And your brother in law can turn on you and steal your wife :(

by Many-Day-6065 1 day ago

🤣🤣

by elissa18 1 day ago

Nah I keep my work and personal like separate. I've never become friends with any of my co-workers because I choose not to. I limit the amount of personal information I tell them and. I have no desire to make friends at work. I simply go to work to get paid.

by Aylamorissette 1 day ago

When's the last time you made a friend?

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I have plenty of friends from high school and college. I don't need nor want anymore.

by Aylamorissette 1 day ago

I dont believe you tbh

by Many-Day-6065 1 day ago

I do the same, and literally two weeks ago. I just have nothing in common with most of my coworkers.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

If we work together, we ain't friends. Once one of us leaves, sure. Until then, hell no.

by jamiesanford 1 day ago

you plan on being friends with someone after you had time to get to know them...ok?

by Anonymous 1 day ago

The people replying are crazy. Making friends is as natural as falling in love. It's just something that naturally happens when people click. I feel sorry for them if they all think their coworkers are out to get them, and their bosses are promoting people for snitching on each other. Maybe don't speak too freely about drugs, how much you hate the job or the boss, or how you sit on the toilet for a half hour and watch YouTube. right away

by Maevenolan 1 day ago

this is such a popular take, being friends with people you see everyday

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I have one good friend I met through work... Otherwise I am friendly with my boss and our morning guy and cordial with everyone else. It's really hard to be friendly when they are never on time and don't do their work.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

You're right, the way you interpret this is stupid logic. No one is saying you can't be friends with your co-workers, you just shouldn't be expected to make friends with people if you don't want to. I've had a boss try and force me to be friends with people I don't like and they can f... right off.

by Academic_Lion 1 day ago

IMO it's perfectly fine to be friends if it's natural and you vibe, but I think it's crazy to expect people who are already spending 40 hours a week together to want to continue hanging out after work. We're human, we don't get along with everyone. I don't want to spend time forcing a friendship that occupies my free time, there's nothing wrong with that

by Elijahwolff 1 day ago

I'm FRIENDLY with co-workers. I make jokes, check on their well-being, discuss our real lives on the rare occasion. But friends? No. Those people are not welcome to my home. LOL. And if I get another job, they'll never hear from me again.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I guess it depends on the environment and your status at the company. Some places might demand ultra professionalism, especially if you rank higher than others. That is not most peoples work environment though. I feel like its very common and accepted to make friends at work... So not unpopular opinion.

by citlalliwill 1 day ago

Most of my coworkers are old people. Also I work from home now and Im not really someone to chat with people over IM, so I don't really have the desire in my current job. But if I had coworkers I vibed with and I was physically working around I wouldn't mind.

by Little-Lock-2370 1 day ago

I will be friendly, but not friends with them...

by Anonymous 1 day ago

It does make sense. In a decent world/society.

by ApprehensiveCoat 1 day ago

I dont want to make the mistake that work friends are real friends if they are not.

by Cute-Introduction998 1 day ago

I guess it depends on the job and the role

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I don't care enough about most of my coworkers to be friends with them

by Anonymous 1 day ago

From the time I entered the workforce at 16, my closest mentors, and parental figures came from work. Now that Im 40, ive become that mentor and advisor to the young people at work

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I love my coworkers.

by Breitenbergcice 1 day ago

I think I agree with you, thank you for sharing.

by Richardharris 1 day ago

Is this an American take that I'm too European to understand? I am friends with loads of colleagues. Best friends with some even.

by RespondOk864 1 day ago

The problem is that my coworkers hate me but not enough to get me fired

by AdeptnessContent6577 1 day ago

Ice cold take

by Able_Finance_5536 1 day ago

Just be careful, I noticed with blue collar jobs it's easier but once you get into white collar or middle management roles is when people betray you for promotions

by lonzo44 1 day ago

I've made many friends at work. My significant other and I met at one of my old jobs. It's easier to befriend coworkers since you spend everyday with them. That's the only way I know how to make friends.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

"Your coworkers aren't your friends" reeks of anti-union propaganda

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I usually become friends with my coworkers but I'm also cautious. I've been burned before by a coworker who seemed super chill and then threw me under a bus when things went wrong. Or shared personal information about me with the boss/owners.

by kleindonna 1 day ago

No

by Long-Anything-1958 1 day ago

Lots of people in my office found close friends there. I like most of my coworkers and am friendly with them, though I don't have a close friend there. Still enjoy spending time with them and we talk about all sorts of stuff.

by Zealousideal-Pea9733 1 day ago

Honestly, if you don't like your coworkers, it makes it difficult to work there. I think at a minimum, you should be cordial to your coworkers. I love my coworkers and we definitely hang out and do stuff after work. I seen my superiors who are all retired now fight each other every week for 20 something years. Do we really need that?

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Like ya I'm pretty good friends with most of my co workers We even go out and do stuff on occasion

by Anonymous 1 day ago

This isn't an unpopular opinion. Literally everyone I know has friends from work.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I am open to making friends with coworkers if they were my kind of vibe, but so far a vast majority of friendships from work have felt super forced as we're just very different people. Hanging out with coworkers feels like hanging out with cousins, I'll go along with it if the situation requires it, but it never feels like you're making a true friend, it's more just someone to vent to about work.

by Sadiestamm 1 day ago

Being friendLY makes sense. Thinking all these people are actually loyal and would go to bat for you is stupid.

by No_Freedom8973 1 day ago

It's sad that such a normal opinion is unpopular.

by Zestyclose-Access981 1 day ago

I don't see this as unpopular.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

It just depends on the coworkers and such. I was somewhat friends with all my coworkers at some jobs, but I avoid it when I can help it. I just don't like having friends lol my wife is super friendly and gets burned all the time by her relationships with coworkers. Backstab after backstab. It's gone alright at her current job, but her current coworkers aren't nearly as bad as other places she's worked

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Met my best friend at work. We worked together for almost 4 years, smoked, drank, did mushrooms and other various psychedelics together. Great guy. Died on April 5th though. :(

by Substantial_Tea_2283 1 day ago

No. No it doesn't.

by brenden62 1 day ago

I think even outside of work, the term friend is used to lightly. It's ok to just vibe with people without calling everyone a friend.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I love my coworkers. They're fantastic people and I'd definitely call them my friends

by East-Guidance 1 day ago