+71 There's a big difference between "blaming the victim" and "making sure you're not knowingly putting yourself in an avoidable position where you know you could be hurt.", amirite?

by Johnsonjolie 2 weeks ago

No I don't mean like criminally holding them at gunpoint. I mean like your spouse controls your finances and says "if you leave me, I'm taking the kids." Maybe after a certain amount of time of being an empty shell, you deserve the right to engage with someone else's advances.

by Johnsonjolie 2 weeks ago

"Create an environment where you're more likely to be cheated on" is a marvellous sentence

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

There have been studies. There are scientific reasons why people cheat. No reason to ignore that.

by Johnsonjolie 2 weeks ago

Causing a dead bedroom scenario and not being willing to work on the issues would fall under that. Not stuff like gaining weight in pregnancy.

by No_Pomegranate 2 weeks ago

"You can avoid traits that cheaters have" There are none, basically anyone of any type can and does cheat

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

I mean, yeah

by Tall_Position4232 2 weeks ago

How is this an unpopular opinion

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

There's still basic precautions someone should take. Where I live insurance won't pay when you're a victim of burglary and left a window open while you weren't home.

by No_Pomegranate 2 weeks ago

It's not unpopular, but I HAVE had people argue with me that no victim ever holds any blame under any circumstances. Even with arguments ad absurdum, like "someone walking blindfolded across a busy street at night," they double down and blame the driver that hits them. Not because it actually makes sense, but because their brain gets stuck on "victim blaming is bad!" so they do mental gymnastics to try and rationalize it

by Straight-Passage3755 2 weeks ago

It's so annoying when you're explaining this and the person says, "But people shouldn't have to take such precautions. The world shouldn't be like this." Smart. Don't take any precautions because the world shouldn't be this way. Make sure that you tell this to anyone who tries to mess with you.

by Latter-Care762 2 weeks ago

Yeah that's kind of what I'm getting at here. The world is like this. It's not going to change because you think it should. It very well may change over time. While it still hasn't, just try to stay as vigilant as possible.

by Johnsonjolie 2 weeks ago

I see what you are saying, but this kind of black and white thinking is impossible to apply to anyone outside of yourself. We cannot know why someone is doing what they are doing, so how can you judge the outcome? Is it possible not doing this thing would have resulted in a worse outcome? The world is shades of gray, not black and white Was it dumb to do, maybe, but why was it done?

by Minimum_Fondant 2 weeks ago

The problem with this outlook is it shifts the blame from relevant authorities that are supposed to keep an environment safe. The Mugging Street should not have existed in the first place, especially if it's as well-documented as your example is.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago

This is generally well understood and accepted by everyone but feminists. Telling people how they can avoid being the victim of a crime is not the same as blaming victims for a crime.

by Anonymous 2 weeks ago