All relationships are transactional. amirite?

How is this unpopular

by russel32 2 days ago

You would be suprised

by Beginning_Ask_6362 2 days ago

I think you're misunderstanding what people mean when they call a relationship transactional. A transactional relationship is one devoid (or largely absent of) emotional connection. A manager signs my paycheck and in return I continue working for them. We're not buddies or partners, just a simple exchange of goods and services. Where transactional relationships become more of an issue is in relationships that should have more of the emotional connection. For example, when parents use the transactional dynamic of "I give you food and shelter and all this other stuff, so you should give me love and respect." Or, in intimate relationships, "I did the chores, so you should give me sex."

by Anonymous 2 days ago

This is a very popular opinion

by Anonymous 2 days ago

This is not unpopular.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

And how can this be unpopular?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

This is a very cynical view and I cannot disagree

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Not really

by Awkward_Trade 2 days ago

I guess having 3 kids I'm really playing the long-con, yeah? I think relationships are more complicated than that.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

This reminds me of Butters from south park

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I feel it's just water muddying. We use the term to describe relationships that are cynical or obviously only about one thing. Noticing that relationships involve give and take doesn't amount to anything. All you're really pointing out is that nobody wants relationships that are massively one-sided and/or don't improve their lives. This feels obvious.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

You're reciprocating the transactions to mirror the feelings that the person made you feel usually. I do something sweet for someone I love that makes them feel joy and they will want to reciprocate with a transaction that will make me feel joy and love.

by Skileshellen 1 day ago

One of the few, maybe the only, relationship that can be truly non-transactional, is from a parent to their child - not necessarily the other way round.

by LumpyPurpose 1 day ago

Life is transactional

by Ggulgowski 1 day ago

interesting view, except the fact that it's scientifically wrong. have you ever felt the surge of dopamine that happens when you make a joke and everybody laughs? that's a natural reaction of human body and happens to nearly everyone. in that situation it's not transactional, you are literally not receiving anything back and your mind is't there not even unconsciously. well when you make a gift for someone you love and you see then happy you feel the same. if you never had the luck of feeling that, trust me.

by Kaelamcclure 1 day ago

This is neither an opinion nor unpopular It is just a fact.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

You can describe doing literally anything for anyone as wanting to spark an emotion, and then label it therefore as transactional. Even if I buy a gift just to make someone happy, you can then describe that as "transactional" because I was trying to get a happy emotion from them. I agree, but also, this is just a silly way of looking at things. By this logic, everything you ever do, ever, is transactional.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

It may be silly but it's the truth. Theres nothing wrong with things being transactional. It's the intent that is important. Like is someone doing something for someone out of love, out of manipulation, out of guilt, or some other reason.

by Skileshellen 1 day ago

Good ones aren't. You should do something for your partner simply because you like doing nice things for them. When I buy my wife lunch, I expect nothing in return. If you chose your partner well, you'll each do things for the other person without even knowing it. Transactions include and exchange of goods or services, which is a terrible basis for a relationship.

by EngineerNational2264 1 day ago

I disagree. You are doing nice things to make her feel loved and feel emotions. By doing that she will want to do sweet things for you. At the end of it, they are still transactions.

by Skileshellen 1 day ago

Bro figured out how human interaction works

by Carrolladele 1 day ago