Let's normalize inviting only half of a couple to events, amirite?

Exactly! If it's an all girls date night then yeah no expectation to invite the SO same goes to an all guys event. But weddings you can't expect an adult who has an SO want to sit through a whole ass wedding alone whilst there's others come in couples. At my wedding I gave plus 1 to everybody. Of course you're entitled to invite whoever you want to your event but just know some people won't go. I wouldn't go to a wedding my husband isn't invited to. I rather save my gift money and go do something else with him. 😅

by IntroductionAlive 2 days ago

Read bunko as bukkake at first and was really curious how only your wife was getting an invite 😂

by Camilahammes 2 days ago

That bond between you and a romantic partner is private, and none of my business. Then why are you inviting any people to your wedding? I'm supposed to come watch you make a lifelong commitment to your partner, but I can't bring my wife, to whom I've made the same commitment?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Yeah, it's a pretty nonsensical take that at a wedding where the point is to celebrate a lifelong commitment to partnership, you'd deliberately exclude half of a lifelong committed partnership. Add to it the point you made above-if that bond is so private, why a wedding with anyone invited? OP, sounds like you have a specific situation or person you have a problem with but somehow you're extrapolating that to social norms (which for more casual gatherings, is already how you want to normalize it to be).

by Anonymous 2 days ago

we just don't know you, or you don't share the hobby in question ... There are however edge cases where the partner is at fault via major personality issues. This is so middle school.

by schultzflossie 2 days ago

Fr any sort of invite that's some form of "you can come, but note that I'm specifically NOT inviting your gf" is gonna be super off putting ngl.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Same. Unless it's a guys-only type of deal, I'm out. She's a better friend to me than anyone.

by Angelica61 1 day ago

I hear that. Sooo you can't go places without your wife? Like as cool as she is, why must she get the invite?

by Formal_Benefit_5599 1 day ago

Of course I can go places without my wife. Just went to dinner with two (female) friends from high school without her - spared her the boredom of nostalgia conversations she had nothing to do with. I wouldn't get offended if I was invited some place that she was not, but chances are that I'll decline as I'd rather hang at home with her than be somewhere fun without her. Some may call it codependent but I simply enjoy her company.

by Angelica61 1 day ago

Hmmm interesting. I know this isn't what you came here for, but I think the weirder thing is this culture where it's cool to say you won't go places without your partner. Like I get it, yall love them. But the whole "oh I ain't no way you gonna catch me there with my SO" is an odd place for society imo.

by Formal_Benefit_5599 1 day ago

And here I am hoping everyone finds that person.

by Angelica61 1 day ago

Finds the person that makes us performative proclaim that we would never leave the house without them?? Idk lol. I'm hoping we all find our people. Also hoping society convinces us to occasionally abandon the buddy system.

by Formal_Benefit_5599 1 day ago

You'll meet her one day, bro. No need to be salty in the meantime.

by Angelica61 1 day ago

Maybe it's a him 👀 And no need to be glued to ya partners hip. But this isn't about "need" is it? And tbh I think it's worth being salty over yall performative BS

by Formal_Benefit_5599 1 day ago

Is it because you assume the other person doesn't want them around?

by Formal_Benefit_5599 1 day ago

Sometimes that is the case. Honestly though, I'm just not interested in any such event. I quit drinking a while ago

by alizepredovic 1 day ago

You seem pretty passionate about these mystery events.

by alizepredovic 1 day ago

Okay so I am…. What we gone do with that infoYou seem confused.

by Formal_Benefit_5599 1 day ago

Nice try. I don't think someone as lonely as you could ever understand being happily married. I don't need companionship from anybody else. Virgins crave unconditional love from their friends. It's annoying. When you grow up you'll find that truly unconditional love doesn't exist and being there for your partner should be your first priority or you are with the wrong person. Also, I'm in great shape compared to everyone else I know because they're alcoholics and always drink..always. You asked questions about me specifically, I am not an ambassador for all men. Have a weird day ??

by alizepredovic 1 day ago

Definitely an unpopular opinion. I mean are we talking about like a corporate function, or something like a women's prayer breakfast? If so that's fine. But if we are talking about a social function? Sorry if she's not welcome, I'm not welcome.

by Boris54 1 day ago

If it's a social gathering/party and they say just you are invited, I wouldn't go anyway. I enjoy wife of almost 20 years company. Now if it's a work thing with just her teacher friends, a few of us having a poker and cigars night, that's fine. But a party without her? Wouldn't even consider it.

by Last-Thanks 1 day ago

"That bond between you and a romantic partner is private, and none of my business. " So true... so why is it you are inviting anyone to your wedding. It is none of their business.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Depends on the social occasion, there is nuance to it. I have friends where we'll hang out and do things no partners, but for most get together we'll bring partners. Because when you have friends, their partners become your friends too. My best mate's wife is someone that I would hang out with without him, because she's cool. I have friends that started as mine and are now closer to my girlfriend. So while I agree you don't always have to invite the whole couple, I only thing that's the case for specific interests not for a social occasion.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

There are many events where partners are not invited automatically. But unless an event is e.g. work related, or there is another specific reason, I think the answer should usually be "yes, of course" when someone asks if their partner is also welcome.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Nope. Inviting significant others is not about you, it's about the guest you're inviting. It's about making them feel comfortable in large extended groups of people they likely do not know well. A bridge group is about six people if everyone shows up. A wedding is at least 60 if not closer to 300. Cutting out the SO is just you trying to make yourself more special than you are.

by schultzflossie 1 day ago

That's fine let's normalize declining the exclusionary invite as well

by Anonymous 1 day ago

You can invite only one person of a married couple to your wedding just don't be surprised or insulted if they don't attend.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Ehhhh, it when me and a couple of my guy friends invite out buddy and his wife comes and its just four dudes olaying board games while his wife just kinda sits there its like, why did you come? I know you dont want to play, and i didn't even really invite you. You're welcome its just, odd I cant spend time with your husband without you, especially when we're doing things you aren't interested. Mostly that honestly. She's invited to every real gathering we have she's cool, just a weird way to be to me.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

OP specifically mentions weddings. I don't think couples have to be invited to EVERY activity together, but hey absolutely must be invited to weddings together.

by Money_Belt_592 1 day ago

You should work on your ego

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Right. As in, take 10% off.

by schultzflossie 1 day ago

As everyone points out, there are plenty of events you get invited to where your partner might not want to attend. There are even girls nights or meeting with some HS type friend who isn't in your couple social circle where it is somewhat fenced off. But if within your social circle you start inviting one member of the couple to exclude the other (for personal reasons or to save money or for space)- well I'm pretty doubtful someone with such a harebrained scheme has many friends to draw from. Thats like exhibit A for how you lose touch.

by EnvironmentalBet 1 day ago

Why would you invite a "friend" to anything without including their wife/husband? If you feel the need to exclude their partner then I wouldn't consider them your friend at all, even if you don't like their partner that's none of your business.

by jamirkohler 1 day ago

I think the main problem would be not many people would probably go out if they can't bring their partner

by Hillspenelope 1 day ago

That feels a little co-dependent, no?

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Disagree, it is suspicious, especially if its the opposite sex to the host. Unless you're already friends and not opposite sex.

by Big_Carry5990 1 day ago

That bond between you and a romantic partner is private, and none of my business. This is wrong headed on two accounts. It is an incredibly important part of your friend. Presumably, this is one of the people she loves most in the world and a large part of who she is, and what her world is, is structured by that relationship. How can you know your friend if you don't have cursorily about that part of her? Relationships/marriages/etc. are by-and-large social, not private. You don't invite 200 people to a "private" event. You don't wear outward signs of your private relationships. Society does not provide inherent respect to private relationships

by Commercial_Shift7443 1 day ago

You sound fun.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

After seeing the replies, I definitely agree with OP. I think we should allow for more friendly events without your partners. Not to dismiss or downplay the commitment to each other.

by Formal_Benefit_5599 1 day ago

I mean... if I don't really care for someone's partner... maybe I'm just a 🐶 but I tell people that I don't like their partner. I always have. I've informed several friends that I don't like their partner and that when we hang out I would prefer the partner not come, and I've never really had much issue with that. I'm upfront and I'm polite about it, but I'm just honest about how I feel about my friends' partners and it's always been something people just respected. When I invite people to things I make a point of letting them know whether or not it's a couple activity or a friend activity. If I had had a wedding when I got married, the people I would have actually invited would have gotten a plus 1 for whomever they wanted, because I know I feel more comfortable attending events if I get to bring someone to pal around with, be they my partner or not. I've solo'd enough events to know that if you want people to come, you let them bring a sidekick so they don't end up drinking alone by the punch bowl and throwing up on the enchiladas. If I didn't want their partner there... I would have just told them so, and because my friends already know where I stand on their partners, no one would be surprised. I think people need to learn to be more honest and less sensitive about things. I don't have to like my friends' partner... it's great if I do, but I'm not the one crawling into bed with that person so my opinion is really not very important at all. What's important is letting my friends know who I will or won't play nice with... because that's respect on all sides.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

OMG, I sooo want to be your friend! Coz when you tell me you don't like my partner and then invite me to your party I can tell you that I don't like you enough to go to your party! It'll be so much fun!!!

by schultzflossie 1 day ago

Honestly this is valid

by Basic-Direction-2115 1 day ago