Splitting the bill on the first date is the only fair option. amirite?

First date is a good test of compatibility. If you want to split the bill and your date doesn't, not compatible. Some women want to pay the entire thing, some men also want to pay the entire thing

by Anonymous 2 days ago

If I invite someone to dinner I'm going to pay. That's fair because I invited them, it was my idea, and I chose the restaurant. This goes for friends, family and dates.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Yes but when it comes to dating, 99% of the time it's the man who asks out, so by this policy the man has to pay 99% of the time, which isn't fair

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Just be up front with her when you ask her out. Let her know that you plan on splitting the bill - if she doesn't like that idea then you cancel the date and save yourself some money. If you never are end up able to find a date while doing this, well at least you stood on principle and can look at yourself proudly in the mirror.

by Ok-Bunch-3376 2 days ago

I used to date a ton and lived in a city close to bars and nightclubs. Sometimes I'd go out everyday of the week for dates with different women. Eventually I realized that paying for 100% is not sustainable long term. So I'd tell them "I'll get this one you get the next." It worked for me and saved me a lot of money over the years. Some even offer to pay first. You just need a higher level of confidence and playfulness to pull it off smoothly.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

First date was always coffee and I'd pay for that. After that, we paid our own way. Didn't want to come across as stingy, but also didn't want someone turning up just because they were bored and this was a free meal. Don't think your approach is really unpopular, but it will narrow your dating pool. IMO the narrower dating pool isn't a feature, not a bug.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

It's fine not to split that bill. You're not compatible with someone who doesn't want to split the bill. That, is also part of 'getting to know one another'. I picked up the first date with my now husband because I picked the place, which means I picked the price point. I never suggest a date where I am not willing and able to pay the whole tab, and I never accept a date where I am not willing and able to pay for my portion. I get why men don't think that's equitable (even though that has not been my life experience at all) but I don't understand why they try to argue it's not reasonable. You don't get to decide what is "fair" for others. Others get to date who they want and how they want, while looking for the compatibility they desire.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Totally agree. "But the man paying is traditional!" You want to play the "traditional" game? Then vacuum my house and give me a shoulder rub. Not so much fun anymore, is it?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

If you ask someone you barely know to come to an activity you really shouldn't expect them to pay for it. I never saw a big deal. I paid for my friends to eat dozens of times and they for me. If I'm asking someone to come out with me, the idea of presenting them with a bill for agreeing just seems lame

by Anonymous 2 days ago

This is true, any other option starts a power struggle.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Nope. Whoever asks the date should pay for it. After that, you can figure out how to split bills. Some couples may prefer a traditional type relationship with a man pays for everything. Others (like myself and my wife) believe in sharing expenses.

by SeparateSecurity8318 2 days ago

I'm a very progressive and liberal person, but so think you are discounting cultural traditions and social customs of dating. The man getting the bill communicates resources and a giving nature. It's also a way to woo a woman and signal interest. Make an impression, basically. I don't need to go on dates to feed myself, but a guy who likes me gets the bills. Insisting on going Dutch is just kinda awkward. If he's not willing to invest 50 bucks in the very beginning of a courtship, he'll never will. I'd still offer to pay my share and I wouldn't expect him to pay every time. The second date I'd probably insist on paying, or buy us drinks elsewhere afterwards.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

eww

by santinolehner 2 days ago

Very eww

by Positive_Scar 2 days ago

It's a much more powerful signal now that women can be more choosy about men.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Why can't you invest $50 in the beginning? Why shouldn't you communicate resources and a giving nature? You say you're progressive, but you expect people to stick by their gender roles.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Splitting the bill on the first date is tacky.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

you are ignoring everything else though. If it costs me $30 to get there (taking an uber) then is that $30 added to splitting it? If it takes me 40mins drive vs a 5 min for them drive then is that taken into account? And the one that will cause the most fights... If I put on $100 worth of makeup, is that taken into account?

by Anonymous 2 days ago

1 - you're ignoring that the other person also had to get there 2 - if the drive is too far that should have been communicated 3 - absolutely not, there is zero need to spend $100 on makeup for a regular date. If you choose to do that go ahead but you're doing it for yourself more than anyone

by millssammy 2 days ago

Why should any of that matter? Your financial decisions before the date should not affect what happens on the date. If your having to spend $30 on an Uber, and I drive my own car, are you gonna pay for half of my monthly car payment? If I wear my nice suit and my expensive cologne, are you gonna split that? No your not, and i wouldnt expect you to. I CHOSE to do those things without the expectation that I will be repaid, I chose to do those things to leave a good first impression.

by Small_Opinion 2 days ago

100$ makeup on a single date? Who are you? Donatella Versace???

by Anonymous 2 days ago

yeah they're ignoring everything else because taking any of those things into account is psychotic behaviour. hope this helps

by Intrepid_Bet 2 days ago