Getting told to lower your standards is ridiculous dating advice, amirite?

To a certain extent, yes, but some people have impossibly high standards and believe they're a better catch than they really are. So some people should lower their standards or expect to be single for the rest of their lives.

by Anonymous 18 hours ago

A lot of people would rather be single than settle.

by Anonymous 17 hours ago

They're not complaining ;)

by Anonymous 17 hours ago

A lot of them do. I friend of my wife is exactly like that.

by Anonymous 17 hours ago

Then who are the single people that are complaining? Cuz it ain't people in relationships lol

by Bodefaustino 17 hours ago

Exactly … who is complaining?!?!?

by Anonymous 17 hours ago

I think they mean in a more general extent though. And yeah it's a problem. For instance I was expected to just give in to a stalker I wasn't attracted to simply because she was ‘into me'. This was despite me getting reciprocal attention from girls I was attracted to so no… lowering my standards was not something I should have done and would have set me up for a bad relationship I really didn't need to settle for. I've also noticed tons of people just going for the first person who show them attention and sticking with it even if it's a really bad relationship. Folks who definitely could have other options.

by Anonymous 16 hours ago

Guys are supposed to just date whoever without standards? I guess I never got that memo. I've turned down dates.

by Anonymous 16 hours ago

... you just say "No, thank you" and go on with your life 🤷 who cares if they're socially connected?

by Anonymous 16 hours ago

Those folks you're referring to are perfectly happy being single and not gonna settle.

by Anonymous 16 hours ago

OR! And hear me out: people can have whatever standards they want and not be so desperate to pair off at any cost 🤷‍♀️

by AppropriateEvent 16 hours ago

Aim at your level. Anything over is fantastic. My BIL is a 2 on looks and personality. He aims for 6-7s. He's single at 45 for a reason.

by Anonymous 15 hours ago

And then they start dating people they don't really like or find attractive. Not really a good idea.

by Appropriate_Pop 15 hours ago

I make $50k annually and have chronic fatigue, i only want to date rich celebs that make a minimum of 3 movies annually and i wont settle for less, are you going to not give me the RIDICULOUS DATING ADVICE? Are you going to say i should not settle?

by Anonymous 15 hours ago

YAAS KING! NEVER SETTLE!

by Consistent-Mine 15 hours ago

Thank you for confirming my delusional criteria, i wont settle, i am a king and i am worthy of celebrity affection

by Anonymous 15 hours ago

Sure, but someone that's asking for dating advice is presumably not fine with being single.

by Anonymous 14 hours ago

They're also obviously not fine with dating people they aren't interested in just to avoid being single

by Anonymous 14 hours ago

It really depends on the person and what standards are in question I think. Some people would rather be single than be with someone who doesn't meet certain standards.

by Anonymous 14 hours ago

The issue is that most people would not be fine single, they would complain that people dont meet their criteria, they would become bitter and hateful People who are miserable are typically people who are always wanting something that they dont have Monks are generally at peace because they dont want anything

by Anonymous 14 hours ago

Go be a monk then? I don't know what to tell you, the only people who seem bitter are people getting personally offended at other people's preferences so they're insisting people need to lower their standards. If someone told me they want to date a celebrity my advice would be that they need to work hard to be around celebrities if there's any chance of that happening. I wouldn't tell them to just not want what they want.

by Anonymous 14 hours ago

Thats my plan actually, i quit dating 7 yrs ago and its been very peaceful I often come across vids of women complaining that they cant find attractive men anywhere, they cant find suitable partners who make enough to provide them with the lifestyle they want People need to be realistic and should value the proper qualities such as kindness, humor, respect, etc; rather than superficial qualities Even if i wanted a rich celeb and got them to date me, that wouldnt mean that i would be happy, perhaps the celebs are superficial or mean or entitled etc;

by Anonymous 13 hours ago

Because usually you'll eventually want to have somebody and when you get older your options will be a lot more limited. Most of the good options will be taken

by LeastAge 13 hours ago

Yikes. I think OP's whole point is that telling someone to date people they aren't even interested in just so they won't be single is terrible advice

by Anonymous 13 hours ago

Don't settle!

by Anonymous 13 hours ago

I'd say be single then and try your best to get into the Hollywood atmosphere somehow. If not, stay single. Doesn't matter to me what you do to be quite honest LMFAO

by Darryl81 13 hours ago

I make $50k annually and have chronic fatigue, i only want to date rich celebs that make a minimum of 3 movies annually and i wont settle for less, are you going to not give me the RIDICULOUS DATING ADVICE? Straw-man fallacy

by No_Following_7861 13 hours ago

Seriously. You can make any stance sound ridiculous when you use massive hyperbole.

by Anonymous 12 hours ago

It's not a strawman, because it isn't misrepresenting OP's argument. The argument presented is an absolute statement, the statement is the reductio ad absurdum version of the argument they are making. If you think it is ridiculous to give anyone this advice you think it is ridiculous to give this advice to the person with those standards.

by Anonymous 12 hours ago

I mean it depends though like everything. Sure some people need to hear it but it's the knee jerk reaction these days before knowing anything and sets people up for some unhealthy dynamics to boot.

by Anonymous 12 hours ago

Because the people they are attracted to have low self-esteem and low self-worth. They also figure "better this person than being forever lonely"

by Brownzander 12 hours ago

And their low self-esteem partners are exactly the people op is talking about. If we quit telling those people to lower their standard and settle for their assholes/stalkers/abusers, maybe they would find better or at least remain single for a while to work on their self-worth.

by Original_Solid 12 hours ago

What is the point of a relationship if your partner doesn't treat you like a king/queen?

by PlusVariation3961 12 hours ago

thank you

by Anonymous 11 hours ago

women can still expect that. It just means their chances of finding a match are smaller. That's the reality of personal standards: dating isn't "fair," and it doesn't have to be.

by greenfelderkend 11 hours ago

This implies the possibility that you could not have unrealistically high standards. Not only that, standards can often turn into a checklist of things that you think you want, but that don't actually make you happy. You should open yourself up to the opportunity to be happy with somebody who maybe doesn't meet your list of requirements. If you know somebody who makes you happy but they're not 6'5 Blue eyes trust fund so you won't even consider them. Your standards might be too high

by Anonymous 11 hours ago

Yeah, and if I'm not mistaken that song actually satirized such high standards

by Anonymous 11 hours ago

" Not only that, standards can often turn into a checklist of things that you think you want, but that don't actually make you happy." Yep, this. I'm a little perplexed by women who give, like, specific height measurements that they won't date under. It's one to think short guys are less attractive but I don't think their actual natural bodily response of finding someone attractive is going to respond to a specific number to the point that it overrides all other features if a guy is one inch less than that.

by Anonymous 10 hours ago

Your standards should be relative to what you can attract, otherwise they're unreasonable. Being told to "Lower your standards" is valid to advice to someone who is unaware of their own attractiveness.

by briellemayert 10 hours ago

Nah lower your standards, you ain't that good a catch lol. So many incels out here bitter that the 10/10's they pine over don't like them back because they are overweight neets

by PossibleLettuce353 10 hours ago

Nailed it.

by Anonymous 10 hours ago

Can I have high standards if I am not overweight but still a neet?

by Foreign_Site 9 hours ago

Sounds bitter if not even overweight like you

by greenfelderkend 9 hours ago

If you want love, lower your expectations a few. Because Prince Charming would never settle for you. -Bo Burnham

by Anonymous 9 hours ago

sounds like you need to lay off the TikTok vids

by Anonymous 9 hours ago

I disagree. I have a buddy who's a virgin at 25, never had any form of relationship and it isn't from a lack of trying. I have genuinely never seen this guy try to approach or talk to a woman who wasn't a solid 8+, most of them are 9+. He's a short, overweight, and a 6 on a very good day. To be honest i'm being very generous with that ranking. Some people have ridiculous standards that realistically aren't ever going to happen.

by Anonymous 9 hours ago

I mean if someone would prefer sleeping with nobody than sleeping with someone they aren't attracted to, I'm not gonna tell them they're wrong for it lol

by Darryl81 8 hours ago

I think "nice" should be #1. People date outside of nice all the time and it never has a happy ending.

by Anonymous 8 hours ago

It's not so much that people's standards are too high, but rather that often their standards are the wrong standards.

by No_Sun 8 hours ago

Agreed. If you want to stay married with them, choose the best. If you were choosing a car or phone, and you could never change, you would pick the best.

by Mental_Clue_5358 7 hours ago

100%

by Anonymous 7 hours ago

Also being single is not 'tragic' marriage is a huge commitment you shouldn't be doing it just for fun

by Mental_Clue_5358 7 hours ago

I don't think they mean to lower your standards to date a dullard, or someone who treats you poorly. Don't date someone whose morals don't align with yours or whose life goals are a severe departure from your own. Perhaps lower your requirements on superficial things like height, income, hair color, weight, etc

by Anonymous 7 hours ago

I know what you mean, but not everyone can be nice. Actually being nice and kind are worth lowering other standards

by Anonymous 7 hours ago

That's not what they mean. "Over 6 foot, makes 6 figures" Is a very popular dating criteria in today's society.

by Mayertconstanti 6 hours ago

lol HEY! I'm 6' even and make over 6 figures as well, athletic build. But I'm straight and married. 🤣

by Mayertconstanti 6 hours ago

Thanks for responding! You are already ahead of 99% of gay men.

by AffectionateTwo3411 6 hours ago

Hey I love gay dudes…… platonically. You'll find your person, just don't settle 🤣🤣🤣

by Mayertconstanti 6 hours ago

what's wrong with wanting someone who's 6ft and makes 6 figures? there's a chance a woman can get with one who does meet that criteria but people should still be realistic that the more picky they are the longer they stay single and if they're good with that then that's fine.

by Anonymous 5 hours ago

Not every woman wants unicorn but Every woman has the right to set her own standards and preferences. Nobody gets to decide whether those are "too high" or demand that she lower them. Like OP already pointed out, people just need to be realistic that this might mean staying single longer.

by greenfelderkend 5 hours ago

If someone is actually fine with being single till they find that unicorn then I say you do you, but if you're lonely, complain about being lonely and desperately want a relationship then you might wanna set expectations to match whats actually realistic. I'd never go tell someone to lower their standards unprompted BUT if they are actively complaining about being single or that "there's no good men left" then yea, I'm gonna tell them their standards are unlikely to be met and they can either deal with that or lower them.

by Zulaufned 5 hours ago

No one has a problem with it. The person advising you or criticizing you probably just wants you to have a successful dating life and may see some of your standards as unrealistic to achieving that.

by Mayertconstanti 5 hours ago

Just move to Fort McMurray boom problem solved /s

by Mean-Confusion8013 4 hours ago

i've dated 6ft men i don't think that's hard to find.

by Anonymous 4 hours ago

"I make 6 figures why can't everyone do it" Good for you.

by Mayertconstanti 4 hours ago

OP is lowkey insufferable lmao

by OddIndependent8405 4 hours ago

OP asks a question, in unpopular opinions and seems to be offended people are answering. I don't understand

by Mayertconstanti 3 hours ago

For real 😂😂😂😂😂😂

by OddIndependent8405 3 hours ago

Congrats. Today you learned what confirmation bias is.

by Extreme-Macaroon 3 hours ago

Also, if you aren't hitting that 1-3% target mark. statistics say you aren't settling, you don't have a choice. lol That's fine if you want to stay single, but if you want to have successful dating life. Maybe widen the scope.

by Mayertconstanti 3 hours ago

thanks for the tip! good thing i'm already appealing to men

by Anonymous 3 hours ago

That those are very superficial criteria to hold, and will not actually improve your happiness in the relationship. You are free to have whatever criteria you have ofcourse, but if you demand someone who's name starts with a 'Q' and complain you cant find a decent man, then maybe rethinking that limit will improve the quality of partners you have. Plus, if someone being tall over some arbitrary figure is your "deal breaker" (rather then a preference) the you are very superficial, which speaks a lot about your character.

by Anonymous 3 hours ago

People don't like to hear this, but if you want an S tier man, you have to be an S tier woman. You can certainly hold out for a handsome, tall, already wealthy man, but it's likely that you are more average than you want to admit or accept. So you may have a shot at a fling with that man, but you probably won't marry him.

by Defiant_Movie 2 hours ago

i've dated a tall handsome man not rich but did well for himself. together for 4 years it didn't work out because he didn't want kids.

by Anonymous 2 hours ago

And he wasted your time while probably getting someone else pregnant. What you said is not a flex

by OddIndependent8405 2 hours ago

A 4 year relationship without getting married is 100% a waste of time maam but ok lmao

by OddIndependent8405 2 hours ago

i don't know many 18-22 year olds getting married but keep going..

by Anonymous 1 hour ago

I know plenty, keep thinking your world is the only thing going on though

by OddIndependent8405 1 hour ago

congrats but i don't. you're here arguing with me about my past relationship your misery is showing but looking at your account that explains everything i need to know 😂. carry on

by Anonymous 1 hour ago

Thing is is that women spouting this nonsense are 400 pound ogres who have never worked an hour in their life

by Anonymous 43 minutes ago

women speak the most "nonsense" because they have the most options

by Anonymous 25 minutes ago

Depends on the country. In the US, there are quite a few more women than men.

by Anonymous 15 minutes ago