I agree, to a point. There's just no point in complaining if you're not gonna change it after.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

change what? Like imagine having cancer. You should complain about it even if you can't control it, because it helps process your feelings

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Oh, that's what I meant. I mean, there are some things you can't change, for sure, but if you can change it, it requires work to make it happen.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Sometimes you don't really want the solution tbh but that doesn't mean that complaining isn't helpful. For example, there's absolutely no desire in me to heal my childhood trauma, i made my peace that my trauma is staying. But I will still complain about it. Why? Because the reason there's no desire to heal is because I want to be a constant reminder to society of how cruel it is and complaining is a huge part of that. Just because i don't want my trauma resolved, doesn't mean i condone what happened to me

by Anonymous 1 day ago

That's fair, and I understand this, you have every right to complain, but it doesn't mean all will listen. I may listen because I want to but your neighbor probably won't.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

You can't tell whether someone online has the power to change their situation, though.

by Ortizmike 1 day ago

Its one thing if you complain here and there, but if you're around someone who constantly does it it's insufferable. Don't even get me started on people who want to whine but refuse to even attempt to fix their own problems.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Dude, why do you believe that if someone complains they actually want their problems solved. For example I have childhood trauma that I don't frankly want to heal because I don't believe that after experiencing what i have, I should live normally, there's nothing normal about living normally after that. Despite choosing not to heal, that doesn't mean that the things that happened to me were ok and I will scream about that till i drop dead

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I'm not referring to trauma, I'm referring to the person who constantly whines about having no money but shows up to work with Starbucks every day and goes on to talk about how much they drank at the bar that weekend, or the person who constantly complains about their health or pain and uses it as an excuse to get out of things but refuses to go to a doctor. That being said, you don't have to say what happened to you is ok, but you probably shouldn't make your own trauma other people's problem if you're consciously making that choice not to heal. I have some pretty extreme trauma of my own. S.A, childhood abuse, abusive relationshipS. but I'm not going to refuse to learn how to cope with those memories and make them someone else's problem. Healing isn't becoming ok with the trauma, it's learning how to function in life despite it. As far as I'm concerned I can't do anything about the fact that I was victimized, but I refuse to let the people who hurt me dictate my mental state for the rest of my life.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I don't function like most people and don't think that's the trauma talking, I suspect having a certain personality disorder. Anyway, you want to move on with your life, but I don't. You say you don't want those people dictating your mental state but to me, that kind of will only indicates an attachment to some form of normalcy and attachments usually cause suffering for me. I always say, in a sick world it only makes sense to be sick. I don't really even want to be a functional human being. I function purely out of survival instinct, not because i want to. And somehow I've learned to do things without motivation(letting go of attachments really helps with that). I don't really have ambitions in life, i don't care about success, I don't care about relationships, I don't want kids(anhedonia is a big part of the personality disorder I suspect having)... If something good happens to me, i welcome it but it's not something i will spend my time and energy chasing because tbh positive emotions stress me out just like negative ones do. And this might all sound depressing to you, but to me it's peaceful and liberating

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Defensive? What do you mean?

by Anonymous 1 day ago

or the person who constantly complains about their health or pain and uses it as an excuse to get out of things but refuses to go to a doctor There a reason many people avoid doctors. They are expensive and can leave you worse off.

by Ortizmike 1 day ago

Venting and complaining are different aren't the same to me but I get where you're coming from. I think I can tolerate a very tiny bit of complaining in a moment but beyond that I don't think it's healthy.

by Meta09 1 day ago

"Complaining" is the easily digestible way of saying "whining". You're taking the advice too literally and treating it like someone with zero emotional maturity or mental health. "Zack says complaining won't help, so I won't go to the doctor despite my knee hurting" is the sort of logic you're employing.

by Anonymous 1 day ago