They love having the control over lots of smaller people.

by Jkreiger 3 days ago

Omg, the last bit caught me out! 😂 I'm glad you find a little humour in it. Are you bro's cool with it i hope?

by jeffreykirlin 3 days ago

I'm of the mind where once you reach a certain number of kids, it's impossible to show all of them the same care and affection and someone else WILL be picking up that slack somewhere… like you said, it trickles down to the oldest kids a lot of the time.

by Imaginary_Rip_4483 3 days ago

YUPPPP Also in pretty much every family I know with 5+ kids, the oldest has grown up and moved out and maybe is even old enough have their own spouse/kid by the time the youngest kids are old enough to have memories, so they're basically a stranger to the youngest sibling(s) especially true if the oldest sibling is a boy IME

by Anonymous 3 days ago

idk. I'm the eldest daughter of four--which is either on the larger end of 'small family' or the smaller end of 'large family', I'm not sure--and I can say that although I would not have as many kids as my parents do, and I don't know how they do it, they can do it. My parents are able to love and support all of us, and even when racking my brains, I can't think of any moments where I've been genuinely parentified--actually, it was mostly my mum trying to convince me not to 'parent' my younger siblings. So, it is absolutely possible for parents to show love and care to more than one child at once. I do think once it gets to lots of kids--like upwards of five--then I can definitely see that being a problem for the parents being able to share their time and energy without outsourcing the labour to the older kids, but I do think that simply having a larger family isn't the problem, it's not knowing your limits. If you don't think you can share your time and emotional energy with more than one kid, don't have more than one, and if you would love to have a big family and have a plan in mind as to how to ensure that all your children get to have present parents, then go for it.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

How big is big? 3? 5? 10?

by Anonymous 3 days ago

I'm gonna say big if you can't spend 1 on 1 time with each kid when necessary

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Youngest of 7 kids here, and can definitely se e your point. I'm glad I was born, but my parents were clearly worn out by the time I came into the picture. Their first kids had much more structure and validation. I grew up with constant comparison, under a lot of shadows. Working it out in therapy, lol

by Anonymous 3 days ago

They really like having babies and toddlers, but they only stay like that for a few years before the kids start acting like they're little people having opinions and expectations of their own, and also external demands of school and activities pile on. Even really bad parents are perfectly capable of providing care for babies and toddlers.

by Significant_Cry8102 3 days ago

If anything, this is pro children and pro giving them the care they need

by Anonymous 3 days ago

I don't think so this person has a valid point

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Or they want 20 copies of their husband to mindlessly sniff and cuddle. Imo children love affection. Thats very important.

by Jocelynrowe 3 days ago

My dad was one of double figures children. He loved it, they all loved it, and they love having a big family. This is a silly take. Maybe also unpopular I suppose

by Anonymous 3 days ago

That's good for your dad. My partner was neglected. It is pretty selfish and greedy to have that many kids.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

Theres research that shows more than 4 children leads to poorer emotional caregiving outcomes.

by Kathryne14 3 days ago

I'm one of 5 kids and I was definitely emotionally neglected as a child and have paid for it as an adult. Though I appreciate having a big family now that we are all grown up, I would never have that many kids because I know it's next to impossible to give them the attention they need.

by Loud-Dependent 3 days ago

How many is a big family? I'd say 5 kids would be my personal limit to where I would feel as though I could give the appropriate level of individual care, but if we're talking about that guy from sister wives with 18 kids I can see where you're coming from.

by sofia77 3 days ago

I agree. It's actually super selfish and greedy in my opinion.

by Anonymous 3 days ago

C'est un peu exagéré comme opinion, je crois pas que l'on puisse généralisé à ce point sur l'envie de créée une famille, nombreuse ou pas . En France la situation économique est difficile et les salaires sont souvent trop bas ce qui engendre la question des aides sociales : beaucoup de couples s'interrogent sur les allocations familiales avant de décider d'avoir un autre enfants et, parfois, il est conçu pour des raisons financières avant tout, avant d'être réellement désirer ... C'est le mauvais côté des politiques natalistes des Etats .

by Accurate-Roof3054 3 days ago

Counterpoint. My Grandfather grew up in a orphanage from a baby. He grew up around tons of other children, and loved it. He wanted the same for his own children, but with siblings that wouldn't just leave one day, and had ten. (and actually had the means to take care of them). Some people just think that's the best environment for children.

by Anonymous 3 days ago