+46 The idea that popular kids were always mean or shallow is a lazy stereotype that needs to go. amirite?

by lou19 2 days ago

Sometimes it's true, sure. But the popular kids at my high school were usually the more high-achieving type. Athletically, academically, whatever. The ones that worried me more were the dead enders.

by North_Aerie 2 days ago

Same with mine. There are the exceptions; people who were popular just for looks and or their parents having money, but if you were smart, athletic, and charismatic you'd be popular.

by okunevalorna 2 days ago

I think it's more of a bell curve with intelligence, the kind of smart kids were popular.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

They tend to be social butterflies and "network" naturally which is the whole reason they're popular.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Yeah, like they were popular for a reason

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Our athletic popular kids were split into two groups-the ones that partied and the ones that focused on academics along with sports and extracurricular activities. I bet you can guess how most of each group turned out as adults. What's wild is one of the biggest partiers used to mock and tease the non-drinkers saying their parties had Pepsi and juice and how they were actually 'losers.'

by Anonymous 2 days ago

This is generally the case. The popular kids tend to be the students with the highest social competence and there is a high overlap between that and high achievers. This overlap is often called EQ or Social Emotional Intelligence. You will hear a lot of people say that they're just the rich kids, or the attractive kids, but this isn't accurate; and, in my opinion, this is how people with lower social competence explain their outcomes. It is no different from someone with a C- average who claims only rich kids go to college. It is a convenient lie to protect their ego.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I agree but i will say to find one who's poor is quite rare. And sometimes you get pushed out when you just don't have the means to always hang out. But you still know and are close with everybody and you win the "most likely to need a ride" senior superlative

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I feel like the "popular kid bully" stereotype is a lot more common with girls than boys. Popular boys just tend to be athletic

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Yeah I remember in high school all the popular kids were actually quite smart and tended to be friendly, which is why they were popular. The one stereotype I saw in high school that was actually pretty true was a lot of the popular girls would talk to the "weird" kids like they were pets. It's hard to describe but it was very strange.

by millergreenfeld 2 days ago

I love media that challenges this assumption. Book Smart the movie and Daria the TV show go into these very assumptions in interesting ways.

by SingleBox 2 days ago

I don't think its that popular people become bullies, but rather that people tend to placate bullies, (so they dont get harrassed) and so they become popular.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

Thats just your experience, as you said. Other people have different experiences. Most of the kids that were popular in my school were awful, hateful bullies.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

It so weird because my school was the opposite the popular and good looking kids was the nicest and all the ugly the person was the more hateful.

by gregoria41 2 days ago

That's how it is pretty much everywhere, but the hateful kids have victim complexes and rewrite history in their minds.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

And everyone clapped?

by Kooky-Lobster 2 days ago

Yeah, popular kids in my school were all super nice. That's why they were popular. But other people have other experiences I guess.

by Anonymous 2 days ago

I've seen plenty of stories where the popular kids were actually nice

by Anonymous 1 day ago

There's probably as many mean or shallow non-popular kids. But they get less attention as they're not the popular kids.

by Logical_Dinner 1 day ago

These are stereotypes from a John Hughes movie. I know plenty of "jocks" who play DnD, gamers who are popular, and all varieties in between. People don't just belong to a single group that defines their entire identity.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

There are exceptions to everything, but I think what he said is for the most part true. Yes, just joining the football team won't automatically make you popular, but people tend to hang out with other people with similar interests so if football is popular at your school and you are on the team, you already have an "in" with that crowd. Also, not saying it's impossible, but spending most of your free time behind a computer or video game console isn't helping your popularity. You might be popular amongst other people who have that same interest, but it is a niche interest. Most young people play video games but most people wouldn't consider themselves gamers. 100s of people aren't coming out every week to watch you play video games like they might for a popular school sport.

by okunevalorna 1 day ago

My nephew's D&D group includes the captain of the football team and the senior class president, so I think you're a little out of date on what the youths are into and what is cool these days.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

It's just the losers saying anything to cope.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

most of the popular kids were hard asses who did meth

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Midwest?

by gottliebjulio 1 day ago

Have you seen the move 21 jump street?

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I mean popularity is kind of like fame. And we know fame can make people entitled and crazy. Id say it's more likely than a regular person.

by No_Cartographer_9426 1 day ago

Let's think logically for a second… There was more non popular people in school than popular people right? Like out of a class of 150 kids maybe 15-20 are considered popular…. So as you get older that's 130 kids (give or take) from every graduating class, in every high school; who will have more of an opinion on popular kids as a group, as opposed to the 15-20 popular kids. Also those non popular kids were on the internet when you were out partying & hanging out. So just because of their affinity with the internet, they're much more likely to start and engage in internet discourse. That's also kinda why popular ppl in real life are RARELY popular on the internet.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

When the grown up popular kids didn't know that they were considered popular back then, then the problem wasn't them.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Yeah, around 16 I changed a lot of things in my life and everything got better at once. Grades were up, girls liked me more, activity level increased, it's not zero-sum whatsoever.

by Important_Initial_15 1 day ago

Whenever I would interact with the popular kids I always immediately realized they were popular for a reason. They're usually the most gregarious, kindest, or interesting people.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

"I keep seeing this narrative online" s/b "I'm remembering 90s movies"

by Personal-Narwhal-990 1 day ago

Same experience in the 2000s

by Anonymous 1 day ago

I think it all depends on the school, the region, economic status and the time period. I grew up in the 80s in a wealthy town and went to a high school with about 1200 kids. The popular kids were athletes, smart and rich. And mean. They had nice cars, cocaine, and lots of sex between the cheerleaders and football players. They were brutal in their bullying. They went to good universities because of their parents and now are very wealthy as well. However, my son is in high school now in a small school. The popular kids are very nice to everyone. Different experiences for everyone. Each school and grade is different depending on which kids are in it.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

This is summed up well in that one episode of 30 Rock where Liz realises she wasn't actually bullied by the popular kids in HS, they just didn't like her because she was mean and snarky all the time

by Head_Collection 1 day ago

Mean and shallow people exist in all social circles. In the "popular" crowd, in the high anxiety crowd, in the neuro diverse crowd. Being popular just allows for bad behaviors to be excused more. So it's not a lazy stereotype, it's just a symptom of how our society functions.

by Anonymous 1 day ago

Yep. I think this was a narrative pushed by the nerdy, quiet kids in order to preserve that "good guys never win" or something. But yeah, in my experience most of the popular kids were that way because people genuinely liked them and they were nice. Of course there would be the occasional asshole. I think a lot of these people really need to watch the 30 Rock where Liz goes to her HS reunion

by Kooky-Lobster 1 day ago

through out HS and uni i found it more likely for a "loner" to be a genuine asshole than a popular kid to be shallow or mean. Nobody wants to be friends with someone whos insecure. People want to talk with charismatic, friendly people. I genuinely believe if you cant find a SINGLE person to be friends with, you're at fault.

by Anonymous 1 day ago