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Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium - Yttrium Oxygen Uranium - Bismuth Technetium Hydrogen Einsteinium (wary)

+5560524 Reply

Anonymous

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97% agree
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Note to self: tactic is ineffective in elevators.

+7374113 Reply

HastyCroissant

In response to “Note to self: tactic is ineffective in elevators.

That's when the rolling part is crucial. You must continue to roll until the doors open. This may take a while and you may get many "What the **** are you doing?"s, but stick at it. Do not reply. Just keep rolling.

+19019082 Reply

ActionMan

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Doubt it. The water would have been too cold for them to survive as it was -2C. Lobsters live in shallower waters and where the titanic sunk was very very deep water. The pressure the ship created while sinking would have crushed them and they probably would have had their claws tied.

+1041151120 Reply

SpearmintMilk SpearmintMilk

In response to “Doubt it. The water would have been too cold...

You just can't let one dream, can you?

+111117620 Reply

thecatwhocopies thecatwhocopies

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That reminds me of a joke.

An architect dies one day, and since he was a pretty awful man he goes straight to hell. He takes a look around and thinks, "Gosh, what a horrible place!" and he immediately sets to work improving it. Within the week they've got indoor plumbing. After a month all the imps and demons have moved into affordable apartments, and after two months the streets have been repaved and there's talk of a park opening.
God happens to look down into hell one day and is shocked to see how much it's improved. Satan proudly tells him about his new architect, and God asks that the man be transferred up to heaven. Satan refuses, and so God ORDERS him to transfer the man IMMEDIATELY or he will take legal action.
"Oh, will you?" laughs Satan. "We have all the lawyers."

+4950110 Reply

FlyingGuineaPig FlyingGuineaPig

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I've never thought it was very fair that none of the other houses got a catchphrase.

+2020 Reply

FlyingGuineaPig FlyingGuineaPig

In response to “I've never thought it was very fair that none...

Gryffindor: Being Brave will keep you from your grave.
Hufflepuff: Being loyal will make you like royal.
Slytherin: We're heartless bastards.

+8485135 Reply

DandyLion DandyLion

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The only reasons that people oppose gay marriage are: 1. They are against it because of religion, or 2. They just think it is unnatural or weird. The first reason shouldn't even be considered in the government because we are not a theocracy. The second reason is faulty because who are you to stand in the way of people's happiness? Just because you think it's "weird", two people in love shouldn't be allowed to get married? What if I think it's weird that you and your partner have the same hair color? Can I outlaw your marriage?

+911223120 Reply

AtheisticMystic AtheisticMystic

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Yeah, but then you have to buy or find some flowers. A more simple approach would be:
"These flowers will last as long as our marriage."
"You aren't holding any flowers."
"Yeah, we need to talk."

+374583 Reply

lonely_jew lonely_jew

In response to “Yeah, but then you have to buy or find some...

This process would be much simpler if you start this in the beginning of the relationship, but this is the route I would take:
"These flowers will last as long as our marriage."
"But that's okay because you're an alchemist, right? You can keep them alive as long as we use the souls of living flowers to meld stronger souls for these flowers, right?"
"Yeah, we need to talk."

+1124133 Reply

Shadi Shadi

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That's a great way to tell someone you want a divorce.
"These flowers will last as long as our marriage."
"These flowers are dead."
"Yeah, we need to talk"

+1942131981 Reply

DandyLion DandyLion

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They're trying to say, "These flowers are like our love; beautiful at first, but then starts to die and we hold onto it until it's ugly and falling apart and then we throw it away. Happy anniversary!"

+8291916 Reply

Norma Norma

In response to “They're trying to say, "These flowers are...

Or they could give plastic flowers and say, "These flowers are like our love; completely and utterly fake, as well as a magnet for dust and spiders."

+102108626 Reply

FlyingGuineaPig FlyingGuineaPig

You disagreed. (Undo) (Show Numbers)

94% agree
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They're trying to say, "These flowers are like our love; beautiful at first, but then starts to die and we hold onto it until it's ugly and falling apart and then we throw it away. Happy anniversary!"

+8291916 Reply

Norma Norma

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OMGz what if I like didn't like to go bible camp? LOLZ.. I like so totally wasted my summer then hahaha...yeah.

I love ignorant people who can't accept that other people can have their own beliefs. Here's one for you thetruth...I'M A JEW! Hahahahahahaha yeah no bible camp for me. Here's another kicker, I'm a girl dating a girl. And we have pre-marital ****. Yup, hello Hell here I come!

If your head didn't explode at that, congrats. Maybe it's time for you to start accepting that people are different and don't need to accept all of the ideals you try to shove down their throats. One of my favorite lines:

"Religion is like a ****. I know you have one and I'm glad your proud of it, but please don't go shoving it down mine or my childs throat."

+881 Reply

bandgeekjessye

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