+3,904The imaginary monsters you were scared of as a child never go away, they just become imaginary murderers and rapists. amirite?
+2,880It's awkward when you're about to beat your child and everyone changes their facebook profile pictures to cartoons, amirite?
+2,176It would be cool if the commercial break was made up of one big commercial that included all the products you normally see in a commercial break. Like a family riding in a Ford Fusion go out to State Farm to get life insurance. One of the kids is playing with a Barbie doll in the car. She starts to choke on one of Barbie's shoes and they have to go to St. Mary's hospital. Then, once the child is revived, they end the day with dinner at Applebee's. Amirite?
+1,706Fun idea: Not got kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. When you get home later that evening, go mental and ask where the child has gone. amirite?
+1,537Child 1: "Mommy, why is my name 'Lily'?" | Mom: "When you were born, a lily petal fell on your head, so I called you Lily." || Child 2: "Mommy, why is my name 'Daisy'?" | Mom: "When you were born, a daisy petal fell on your head, so I called you Daisy." || Child 3: "BLAAARGH! GAAAARGH!!" | Mom: "Oh, be quiet, Brick.", amirite?
+1,438Child by themselves begins crying Woman: Don't cry, it's okay. Let's go find your parents.*takes child's hand and walks away" Everyone: "Aww, what a nice person! Everyone should be more like her." Man: "Don't cr-" Everyone: "PEDOPHILE! PEDOPHILE! CALL 911! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" amirite?
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+1,220If an adult expresses their point of view to a child, it is considered leadership and discipline. When a child or teenager expresses their point of view to an adult, it is considered talking back. amirite?
+1,197American English is like the bastard child of Latin and some Germanic language. Its more well-liked but prudish sibling is British English, while its sporty and laid back brother is Australian English. French would be the indulgent aunt because it lavishes American English with so many word gifts, and Old Norse would be the cranky but often helpful grandfather language. amirite?
+1,115My dad never loved me as a child, you can't really blame him though I wasn't born until he was an adult. amirite?
+1,082As a child (or even now) when you have a balloon without a string, it is common knowledge that the game "keep the balloon from touching the ground" must be played, amirite?
+1,070It's about time for child predators to update their approach. Sure handing out "free candy" is a classic, but let's get realistic. Kids these days are less into candy and more into "free iPhones". amirite?
+989For every child saved by child-proof caps, there are a hundred adults screaming "for god's sake just open already!", amirite?
+974Being a vegetarian but eating fish is like being a pacifist but occassionally punching a small child in the face. amirite?
+968Just because I'm not a starving child in a third world country does not mean I cannot feel sad or upset. Just because others have it worse off does not mean others do not suffer. So stop telling me I'm a bad person for being a little upset every once in a while. I'm only human, amirite?