+4,812Ugh, my co-workers bug the heck out of me. One of them's a chick who doesn't know left from right. But she's pretty hot. The other girl's really really smart but I swear, she looks like she came from a nerd convention. And then there's this guy who seems like he's high all the time, and for some reason he brings his dog to work everyday. So yeah, we travel in a bus and solve mysteries and stuff... amirite?
+1,358If Dr. Seuss Was Actually a Doctor: Dr. Seuss: I do not like this brownish spot. I do not like this dark black dot. I do not like this odd-shaped mole. I do not like this porous hole. I'd wear more sunblock here and there. I'd wear more sunblock everywhere. It looks as though, I'm sad to say, that you have cancer, here today. Patient: Are you...high? amirite?
+782When an officer says, "How high are you?" the proper response is, "No, officer. It's hi, how are you?", amirite?
+1,905Elementary School: YAY CRAYONS! Middle School: Crayons? What am I, 3? High School: HOLY SHIT, CRAYONS! amirite?
+2,550There should be lanes in a high school hallway: the texting lane, the swagger lane, the we-want-to-walk-17-people-across-lane, the boyfriend/girlfriend makeout lane, the slow walkers' lane and the lane for people who just want to get to class, amirite?
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+1,704Teeth are little brats. They're so high maintenance. Nothing else gets cleaned 2-3 times a day! They have their own brush. They have their own doctors. They get first dibs on everything you eat. AND THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO GROW IN STRAIGHT. amirite?
+1,330When life hands you high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, ascorbic acid, maltodextrin, sodium acid pyrophosphate, magnesium oxide, calcium fumarate, yellow 5, tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavors...make lemonade, amirite?
+724We go to school every day. We learn pointless things, but we are never taught how to love ourselves. We aren't taught how to make moments last. But I think the most unfair thing, is that at the end of high school, we are tested on something that we were never taught. We have to stand in front of each other and say goodbye. amirite?
+795When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link major metropolitan areas. amirite?
+850Boys are not going to run to your house at 3am with flowers. They aren't going to scream that they love you down the hallway. They aren't always going to randomly text you to tell you how beautiful you are. They probably aren't going to sing and dance with you in the rain. Yes, they cheat and lie, some of them. But so do girls. Stop setting these high fucking expectations and get over it. amirite?
+2,214At most high school and college "Saturday night parties," most of the partying happens after midnight. But it would be just weird if we started calling them "Sunday morning parties." Sounds like old ladies having a tea party with their cats and bingo buddies, amirite?