+6,788It's annoying that your hair always looks great when you're home alone, but on days when you see a lot of people, it doesn't cooperate no matter what, amirite?
+5,225Whatever you give a woman, she'll make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiples and enlarges what is given to her. So if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit. amirite?
+5,219I can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a home anymore. Definitely time for a new keyboard. amirite?
+3,101The 5 biggest lies ever told: "I'm fine", "Seriously, I don't like anyone", "I swear that was my last piece of gum", "I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions", and "I left my homework at home, I swear I did it!" amirite?
+2,441When you stay home from school sick, you look at the time and see what class you'd be in if you were in school, amirite?
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+2,007The kids, who in Extreme Makeover Home Edition get an extravagant theme bedroom, is going to hate it in a few years, when they lose their passion for e.g. monkeys, amirite?
+1,807Belle: "My husband is a beast." Cinderella: "Mine still drives a pumpkin." Snow White: "My husband leaves me home with 7 little ones." Mermaid: "Mine wants me to use fishnet stockings." Sleeping Beauty: "I just pretend i'm asleep." Disney's Desperate Housewives, amirite?
+1,788When you are packing to go on a vacation, you usually pack everything really neatly so it fits, but when you're packing up to go home, you normally just shove everything in, amirite?
+1,786Teacher: "Where's your book?!" Student: "At home." Teacher: "And what's it doing there?" Student: '"Having more fun than me." amirite?
+1,769What if P Diddy was actually called Pete Diddy and we just misheard him and now he just goes with it because it's too late to correct everyone, but every night he goes home and cries and whispers to himself "My name is Pete". Amirite?
+1,706Fun idea: Not got kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. When you get home later that evening, go mental and ask where the child has gone. amirite?
+1,496Here's a fun game for moms to play: when your kid gets home from school, be lying on the floor screaming in pain, "YOU STEPPED ON A CRACK!" amirite?