+5,229Whatever you give a woman, she'll make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiples and enlarges what is given to her. So if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit. amirite?
+5,220I can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a home anymore. Definitely time for a new keyboard. amirite?
+3,101The 5 biggest lies ever told: "I'm fine", "Seriously, I don't like anyone", "I swear that was my last piece of gum", "I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions", and "I left my homework at home, I swear I did it!" amirite?
+1,769What if P Diddy was actually called Pete Diddy and we just misheard him and now he just goes with it because it's too late to correct everyone, but every night he goes home and cries and whispers to himself "My name is Pete". Amirite?
+1,496Here's a fun game for moms to play: when your kid gets home from school, be lying on the floor screaming in pain, "YOU STEPPED ON A CRACK!" amirite?
+1,706Fun idea: Not got kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. When you get home later that evening, go mental and ask where the child has gone. amirite?
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+1,092They should make a realistic version of Call of Duty. For example: when you get shot in the leg, sorry bitch but you're limping for the rest of the round. Or being in the presence of too many AC130s would impair your hearing, so the game would go mute.And eventually, after beating Campaign Mode, you get Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Then, when you come home after your tour, your wife is banging your neighbor, amirite?
+1,786Teacher: "Where's your book?!" Student: "At home." Teacher: "And what's it doing there?" Student: '"Having more fun than me." amirite?
+611Amirite is like a town. The home page is Main Street. Post yours, just in and random are side streets. Groups is that new subdivision. Community and 'best of' is the library and town center with the archives and records. Help is the hospital/school. The bottom links are alleys. Our profiles are our homes. Anthony's profile is the mayor's house. The Amirite Guy is our statue in the middle of town. Amirite?
+1,807Belle: "My husband is a beast." Cinderella: "Mine still drives a pumpkin." Snow White: "My husband leaves me home with 7 little ones." Mermaid: "Mine wants me to use fishnet stockings." Sleeping Beauty: "I just pretend i'm asleep." Disney's Desperate Housewives, amirite?
+1,2341. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other. amirite?
+809Friend 1: "How was your weekend?" Friend 2: "It's hard to explain, but it was a rainy day so I was bored, then this overgrown talking cat, wearing a top hat, appeared in my house along with his intelligent pet fish and two other 'things' that wouldn't behave. They trashed my house really bad, then cleaned it up using weird magic before my mom came home.." Friend 1: "Ummm.. I just played Cod.", ... amirite?
+6,788It's annoying that your hair always looks great when you're home alone, but on days when you see a lot of people, it doesn't cooperate no matter what, amirite?
+489Counting sheep is actually a great way to fall asleep. After you've walked all the way to a farm at night, counted all of the farmer's sheep, and ran back home while he chased you with his shotgun, you feel like you're exchausted enough to sleep for days. Amirite?