+9,355"George Washington was the first president." OK, I'll buy it. "There are billions of stars in the galaxy." I believe that one too. "Columbus sailed to the new world in 1492." He sure did. "Careful sir, the plate is hot." I'm going to test this one out for myself, amirite?
+2,593When zombies take over the world, everyone should go to Costco. It has thick concrete walls, years worth of supplies, and the zombies can't get in unless they have a membership card. amirite?
+2,906You know what's annoying? Cling wrap clinging to itself. I mean, all you wanted to do was cover some food in plastic but NOOO. First you gotta somehow hold the thing straight with one hand, then perform a small miracle by unclinging the stuff from itself. Then when you try to put it on the dish or whatever, it just clings to itself again. Also world hunger. That shit's pretty bad too, amirite?
+1,512Sitting on the toilet backwards. Think about it, that little tank on the back of the bowl opens up a world of possibilities. You can take a nap, eat a bowl of cereal, finish your homework, file a tax return, pratice origimi, train your pokemon for the elite four, mow the lawn, wash the dog, cure cancer, take out a 2nd mortage on your house, punch a politician... or shit backwards, amirite?
+2,083I think there is more good than evil in this world. It's just that a bomb sounds louder than a hug. amirite?
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+872Instead of the Evolution Theory or the Creation Theory, every school should just teach Simon’s Theory: “Simon, how did the world begin?” “IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED, OK?” “But why are we here?” “BECAUSE SHUT THE FUCK UP, THAT’S WHY”, Amirite?
+1,040Some say a world without sin is ideal, but I disagree. After all, there's only so many problems which can be answered with cos and tan, amirite?
+2,294It must be awkward for other people named Harry in the wizarding world.... "Hi, I'm Harry!" "HARRY POTTER?" "Ummmm, no..." amirite?
+2,059There should be only one World's Greatest Dad shirt. And you should have to kill the previous owner to wear it. amirite?
+1,441What if mirrors are really other worlds that only have one purpose: to mimic your world. Let's say you get up to brush your teeth and someone in the mirror-world yells, "We need John Smith in green pajamas brushing his teeth ASAP!" It's pretty cool to think about, amirite?
+962I refuse to go bungee jumping...I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one. amirite?