Don't make me snap my fingers in a Z formation, hip rotation, head circulation, elbow, elbow, fist, fist, shut up girl you got dissed, amirite?
"If you can't get someone out of your head, maybe they're supposed to be there." ... Or maybe you need therapy. Amirite?
I went to the garden centre today and bought a Christmas Tree. The assistant asked me, "Will you be putting that up yourself?"
I replied, "No, you sick fuck. I'll be putting it up in my living room.", amirite?
Fuck Boy Scouts. Instead there should be MAN SCOUTS! Activities include tying knots WITH A PYTHON, pitching a tent MADE OF LATEX AND CYANIDE, and earning merit badges and pinning them to YOUR BARE NAKED, HAIRY TORSO. Girl scouts have cookies? That's cool. We've got SMOKED KRAKEN ON A STICK! Amirite?
You wonder what would happen if you became president, and for your first speech all you did was go up to the podium say something like "TESTICLES" and suddenly shoot yourself, amirite?
What was with the Victoria's Secret ad in the background during the parade, amirite?
You'd rather be the kind of sick where you randomly throw up then have a head cold, blocked nostrils and sore throat, amirite?
Licking your lips at someone is a great way to tell them that you want to have sex, amirite?
You love the smell of new shoes, amirite?
touching your toes really hurts, amirite?
the blue whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. only 10% enters the female, and you always wondered why the sea tasted salty, Amirite?
Girls: When told to "make a sammich" for your man, don't object. Go with it. Make it the most delicious sammich ever. Then, eat it right in front of him. amirite?