About me.

A Modern Hitler

IMPRACTICAL JOKERS IS THE BREST SHOW EVER
I MEAN BEST
I MEAN BREASTS

My name is JACK
pretty cool name
probably cooler than yours
maybe not
but it could be
unless your name is really cool
than it wouldn't be
but if it it wasn't than mine would be
because that's how i roll
not actual rolling though
metaphorical rolling
i guess
but if it was actual rolling it would probably be down a hill
not on the ground
well i guess a hill is part of the ground
so i take that back
not ground, floor
i would not roll on the floor
i would roll on the ground
preferably a hill
a big hill
maybe even a mountain
but not a big mountain
just a medium sized mountain
but a medium sized mountain would still be really big,
if you're comparing it to other mountains
or a hill
i would probably die
so not a mountain
just a big hill


MUSIC**- I liek it hur hur

      • Def Leppard,
      • The Eagles,
      • AC/DC,
      • Led Zeppelin,
      • The Cars,
      • Deer Tick
      • White Stripes
      • Harry Potter,
      • Twilight
        ...lol jk
        I HATE THEM ALL, BITCH
        MOVIES-
      • Hot Rod,
          • Ancestors protect me. May they protect you.
          • I can quote it all day.
      • Casa de mi Padre
        SPORTS-
      • baseball,
      • cross country
        FAVORITE TEAM-
      • Atlanta Braves
          • All i wanna do is chop
            FOOD-
      • couch cushion,
      • dry wall,
      • toilet paper
        TV SHOWS-
      • Pawn Stars,
      • Futurama,
      • Criminal Minds,
      • Pawn Stars
      • Bob's Burgers
      • The Office

and im also 16

and I like to party

I tend to watch really long documentaries from the History Channel on Youtube. I really enjoy watching about theories and mysteries and crap like that. For example, Ancient Aliens or Monster Quest. I know half tht shit is made up, but it's fun to watch anyway.

KYLE MOONEY IS THE BOMB!

I can say the alphabet backwards with blinding speed.

I'm an average republican, according to pew research center political party quiz
Pro life
From a 100% legal perspective,gay marriage should be legalized, i don't necessarily support it, but the government has no right to deprive gays of marriage (ideally, there should be some compromise between religious organizations and formal, legally recognized definition of marriage)
I rethought this. I am still in favor of gay marriage being legalized, and I also support it. I feel that our nation was founded on the inalienable right of the opportunity to pursue happiness. If it's what makes you happy, go for it. As long as it doesn't directly interfere with my happiness or my life or anyone else's, I could really care less.
support the death penalty-in some cases

Questions? Want to argue? Message me!

political standpoint
http://ctrlv.in/104310
took it twice, a couple weeks apart. just for fun.
http://ctrlv.in/111978
and a third time
http://ctrlv.in/125181

And I'm pretty solid on a guitar

I just learned this little rhyme.
"30 days has september, april, june and november. All the rest have 31 except february."

Thing I hate

  • Automatic faucets and toilets
  • When people say "white stuff" in reference to semen. It's not funny.
  • When people say, "that awkward moment"
  • dubstep
  • all pop music
  • people who wear headphones when they're shopping
  • people who wear only the right headphone and leave the other one hanging out of their ear
  • when people say HUH? in a nasally voice when they dont hear you
  • push doors with handles
  • obnoxious feminists
  • MLIA
      • Light saber fights
      • Ninjas.
      • Obnoxious Harry Potter Fans
  • anime
  • r/politics on reddit
  • Inspirational and "deep" quotes, especially on Facebook
  • small talk. i find it hard to pretend that i care about what you're saying
  • epic.
  • Girls who obsess over Starbucks and mocha choco chip frappecinos or whatever the fuck. I hate them.
    ...more to come.

There used to be a huge story here, but I accidentally deleted. Maybe I'll rewrite it some day.

I tried doing stand up at an open mike once. Entirely anti-humor, no one thought it was funny.
Like I'd say "Has anyone heard the one about the priest and the rabbi in the denny's parking lot?" Dam me neither..."
or
" do you know what is funny? A comical or ironic event generally associated with laughter"
It didn't go well
EDIT: Other things I said so reddit can judge me too!
I did my impression of a catholic store owner who's annoyed at kids touching his merchandise. I just said "Stop that!" in my normal voice
I opened by bringing a chair on stage, sitting beside it on the ground and saying "This is my first time doing sit down and I'm really nervous"
Pretending I was lost part way through my act i took out a piece of paper and read, staring at the page "I don't know how to read"
At one point I just said "my girlfriend farts when she's angry"
"So I was talking to religious guy the other day and he was soooo ignorant. He thought the POPE was real!"
Ya

The coolest places I've visited.

Education

In High School

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