Go to the Armenian part of Google Translator and type in "stop fucking telling me to do shit on Google translator", type the resulting characters into the French translator backwards, wait two weeks, and then go lick a cactus.

@British people: Having a better education than Americans since forever.

OH, I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of being on the MOON.

Once upon messup a time, Jesus said "Listen, I want everyone to eat their arms or jump on Ufelia the butterfly and bumgina hotpockets and after that swan combo-breaker into the depths of rainbow road pizza a large voluptious man smurf cat jumped into had babies away. Into on GerberChickens, the vagina potato. And then everybody died. THE END.

Take a dump. Tell someone to go fuck themselves. Date your best friend's mom. Say swear words. Spend all your cash on drugs. Have sex with someone random. Be sexy. Say screw you. Swear out loud. Laugh at stupid people. Make little kids cry. Don't apologize to the parents. Tell someone how to be mean. Tell a 13-year-old girl what you think of her stupid post. Stab someone until their stomach hurts. This is the way to live life, amirite?

@rowanne what jokes? i've never heard an obama joke, just a blind accusation like "he's the reason we're in a recession!...

Q. Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He accidentally smoked it.

Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.

It'll be spelled Ja¢k*

@Slim_Shady Why would you "assume" the calendar starts over again?

My calender ends on December 31, 2010. So the REAL end of the world date must be THEN.


:> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :>

Yes, so you write love on her arms so there will be no more scabs.

I am Russian spy. My name must remain classified. You call me Sean. My interests include watching mother shave legs, visiting old folk's home, setting things on fire, and long walks on beach. My girlfriend's name is Andrea. I have tried to watch her shave legs but it does not bring same pleasure as when watching mother. She thinks this is creepy. Andrea is Italian. She has very hairy legs. It not fun to watch. Andrea suggested I learn to be more American so I learned how to play banjo. I can play Take Me Out To the Ballgame. Baseball is America's favorite passtime, no? I must give no more information. I am on a special mission. I must protect American queen. You say there is no queen? Yes, because I have hidden her so well. And her ears are normal size, unlike foolish Borock Obomba.

Twihards don't believe that their book is real. Christians do. Nuff said.

I'm pretty sure it means that the olive oil has been playing World of Warcraft.

@Taz nobody deserves to die.

Except maybe Coday.

fuck you.