+675I got a letter in the mail today that said "Happy birthday, from 'you know who'"; why the fuck is Voldemort sending me letters? Amirite?
-209When you hear the words "Political party," you picture George Washington running through the front yard naked and Lincoln passed out drunk on the porch. Amirite?
+411People who fart publicly and laugh about it should be kept in a container so they can choke on their own fumes. Amirite?
+406Don't you hate it when people ask you "Are you Ok?" when there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, all you were doing was looking down or staring out into space and now you're suddenly "Having a sad moment", You keep telling them "I'm fine, I'm fine", yet they insist you're not fine, which actually makes you infuriated. Amirite?
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+271"Oh, so stealing my walls virginity makes you satisfied? Well, i have wall herpes." Not so satisfied now! Amirite?
+276Redesigning your bedroom to look like a classroom will make you fall asleep a lot faster. Amirite?
+220You try to be a pimp but they just keep running out of hose at your local hardware store. Amirite?