It sucks when your a 16 year old male and your voice hasn't broken yet, amirite?
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you.", amirite?

Adam was in the garden, watching all the animals, and had an idea... "God", said Adam, "I need a partner, like the animal's, someone else to be with."

God thought about it for a while, and came back to Adam, and said "I think I can help you out, but, it's going to cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam paused, and asked, "Well what can you get me for a rib?"

It sucks when your a 16 year old male and your voice hasn't broken yet, amirite?
If God created the sun, which is essentially a ticking time bomb, then it is conceivable that He intended to expunge humanity at a certain point (if we somehow manage to survive that long). Maybe, then, He did this with all the older stars: created, watched fail/destroyed, and moved on. And the younger stars wait in an eternal queue to be God's next science fair project, amirite?

I think the people that wrote the bible didn't think about it too much

As a boy in puberty, you thought you were big shit when you started whacking off; until you realized almost every other guy has also discovered it, amirite?

Haha first time i did it i thought i'd pissed myself

That "please say a command" button on older phones is like Siri's retarded cousin, amirite?

Retard means slow

Guys: a girl is like a doll. You can dress her, undress her, play her, use her. But remember a real man doesn't play with dolls, amirite?

If doing that is wrong, i dont wanna be right

You feel pretty boss when you learn a new guitar chord, amirite?

Funky chord, D9th?

e 5
B 5
G 5
D 4
A 5
E -

The Simpsons should stop pumping out new seasons, as the episodes are going downhill in quality. Who knows, if the keep making crap episodes the newer generation will feel like The Simpsons were never funny at all. amirite?

There's actually a lot of funny references to stuff that most people wouldn't pick up on

Nicki Minaj's face is disturbingly symmetrical, amirite?

she's fugly

It'd be really strange if music could LITERALLY be orgasmic. Live concerts would be extremely awkward, with all the men breathing heavily, and all the women moaning amirite?

Sit on the bassist's amp

Everybody should stop this fight between Atheism and Christianity and just begin to like turtles more. amirite?

This MLIA-esque obsession with turtles should end

My new years resolution is to stay a virgin, so either way I win, amirite?
@name i think you forgot something

I failed my resolution :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer. Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer. Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss. Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it. amirite?

We don't drink warm beer

Nothing is illegal. Even the word says "il legal", which is ghetto French for "he legal", amirite?

Nice try, maybe next time