+2,018I always hear people say, "I'm not a racist, but-" but never the other way around. It would be funny to hear someone say,"I am a racist, but the black kid at school is a fucking legend.", amirite?
+896Computer games don't affect kids. For example, Pac Man. If THAT affected kids, they'd be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills, and listening to repetitive, electronic mus- wait... amirite?
+841"Why did the chicken cross the road?" Normal Person: "To get to the other side." Grandfather: "Back in my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road! We were told that it crossed the road, and that was it!" Dr. Seuss: "Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road. But why it did, I've not been told!", amirite?
+508The five stages of making a sandwich- Denial: "We can't be out of cheese, we bought some yesterday!" Anger: "OH MY GOD, WHO ATE THE CHEESE!" Bargaining: "Dear God, if you give me cheese, I'll tell everyone this story, and they'll HAVE to believe in you!" Depression: "No cheese. No God." Acceptance: "Oh well. MUM, can you buy some more cheese?", amirite?
+928If they had internet at Hogwarts, imagine what Harry's Google searches must have been like: 'What is the Chamber of Secrets?', 'What is a Horcrux and how do you destroy them?', 'Who is the heir of Slytherin?' and 'If the headmaster summons me to his office for a "private session", is he gay?', amirite?
+975Relax, there is no monster under your bed..... the axe muderer in the closet got rid of him ages ago, amirite?
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+433If you don't want to do something you just say "I'm waiting until marriage."I don't want to go shopping with you, I'm waiting until marriage." "I can't do homework, I'm waiting 'til marriage." No one goes against marriage, amirite?
+679When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 500 degrees. The Russians used a pencil, am... amirite?
+676Typical Miley Cyrus song: When life gives you ups and downs, don't cry, don't even frown. Cos if you're listening to this you're probably 10, and now I'm going to repeat this chorus again, amirite?
+458If there was a school for murders, they'd probably learn something like: I before E, especially after D, amirite?
+757'Live every day like it's your last.' OK, so you WANT me to spend all day crying and screaming 'I don't wanna die!', amirite?
+372It sucks when your good friend Jessie gets a girl and you want to make her yours. But she's watching him with those eyes, and she's loving him with that body, you just know it. And you're sure he's holding her in his arms late late at night. And you wish you had Jessie's girl, and you don't know where you can find a woman like that, amirite?