+1,041If someone asks you if you are crying, you should respond by saying, "No, I'm impersonating a fountain.", amirite?
+641Good thing we don't use children's song logic in other aspects of life. "We believe you're the one who murdered that family. We have DNA evidence, 17 credible eye witnesses placing you at the scene of the crime when it happened and a high definition video of you committing it!" "Who, me?" "Yes you!" "Couldn't be!" "Damn, looks like we got the wrong guy again. Sorry for bothering you", amirite?
+295I may be fat, but I can diet. Unfortunatley for you, you will always be an obnoxious asshole. amirite?
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+551A girl is attractive and nice? She's stupid. A girl is attractive and smart? She's obnoxious or bitchy. A girl is nice and smart? She's unattractive. A girl is all three? Sorry, she only dates assholes, amirite?
+406While they may be romantic once in a while, not every girl wants an emotionally insecure, sentimental, acoustic guitar-playing pansy who wears skinny jeans and converse all the time. Sometimes, you just want a real man to make you feel safe and protected, amirite?
+645You just wanna punch someone in the face when they come into your room in the morning and leave the light on, amirite?
+427I am going to name my child They. That way, my kid will be a hero whenever it is announced that "They found a cure for cancer", amirite?
+2,805Jaywalking? More like jay-running-the-fuck-across-the-street-and-hope-you-don't-get-hit, amirite?
+539When you come in from outside when it's freezing out, you put your hands on someones cheeks to show them how cold you are, amirite?