Im_so_bored_so_bye

How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”, amirite?
It would be really awkward for a soldiers last name to be Roger, amirite?

Or Will. "Everyone, fire at will" "Wait... No, AGHHHHHHHHH"

@1229872

How does it feel sucking-off Anthony? OH WAIT!... oh, wait. Oh... wait

You hate it when people text you "k" because you're rarely in the mood to ever talk about potassium. amirite?
@SpearmintMilk What person in their right mind would use that acronym?

I know! I'd only use my left mind! I also hate when people write "IDK" They really think "I'm Donkey Kong"?

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to your school, amirite?

This is so old it's a cave drawing in yo mammas poor ass. Wasn't that the perfect joke? I made your mom old, poor, fat, and said the fact I've slept with her, all while insulting this post that's been all over the Internet. I don't care what anybody says. This comment is legend... Wait for it... Dary

What will happen when Pokemon runs out of basic colors to name their games? POKEMON: Orangish yellowish tinted with bronze-like with a touch of burgundy red version. Amirite?
Don't get mad at old people for not having fun. Time flies when you're having fun, and they need all the time they can get, amirite?
@1015104

I know. Theres like, 1 every day

Who came up with hugs? The very first hug must have been really creepy. "What are you doing?...Why are you holding me?" "Just trust me." amirite?

wait... what is that thing coming out of your bod- WHY THE FUCK IS IT IN MY BLEEDY SPOT!!!!!!!

You hate it when people text you "k" because you're rarely in the mood to ever talk about potassium. amirite?
Elementary math problems are weird. "'I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now?'" Oh, I don't know, DIABETES MAYBE.", amirite?

Judy Goldburg gave 6 cents to Benny, who had 8 cents already. How much does Benny have now? Judy is Jewish! She wouldn't give away 6 cents

Funny prank: Change all the names in someone's phonebook to other peoples' names, and then while they're trying to figure it out you beat them to death with a crowbar, amirite?

Best prank ever: Stand behind a corner with a water balloon, then right as they walk by, you have sex with their wife

You miss the days when you could safely push someone into a pool, now you gotta worry about the iPod, the cellphone, maybe a PSP, you push someone in, it costs you 939$, amirite?

Or worrying if the 16 year old is pregnant

Hipsters: they knew Rebecca Black when it was Wednesday, amirite?

Comon man. Rebbecca Black jokes are so last Friday

This site just keeps getting better. amirite?

and better, and better, and bet- ohhh shut down again

There is probably no song in the whole wide world without the word "you" in it. amirite?

Taylor swift's "you belong with me"... wait!