Wanna Know stuff about me?! Look two lines below and READY SET GO!
So....hey....I like talking....pretty sure you might too. If you come here seeking something, you might as well ask. I'll try to help you, but no promises :] However, if you just wanna talk, I'm always game. The "Post Message" box is below, so...when you're ready....start typing. I'll be listening.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
The thing is...I'm working on changing that. Taking it step by step to open myself to the person who means most to me. I want to fall in love....it's just that it's scary. And I'm terrified of loving someone who doesn't love me back. I just really want to get to him, and have him get to me. Understand me like no one else does. See me at my core.
Does anyone else understand this?