Superheroes don't have secret identities as normal people, normal people have secret identities as superheroes. amirite?

Not Superman or Wonderwoman

When listening to foreign music, vocals are more like instrumentals because you can't understand them and treat them more for musicality than lyrics, amirite?

What instrument do you play? I play the Chinese

It's impossible to recite the alphalphabet in one breath. amirite?
@srilart You're saying we shouldn't slap him around?

We should use him to slap others..
Have you ever been slapped across the head with a brown trout?
Its not fun, especially during spawning, I may have baby trout growing in my esophagus.

If the earth was flat, we'd be able to see other countries from the coastline. amirite?
Salted chips are vanilla flavor, amirite?

Not really. I think you mean, that vanilla chips are salt flavoured

Your smartphone is more advanced than the computers that landed a spaceship on the moon. Technically, your phone can land on the moon. amirite?

And when i accidentally sit on my Samsung, my moon lands on my phone

The second half of a tube of toothpaste always lasts longer because we are more frugal with the amount we use as it runs out. amirite?

Same with my weed.

If/When technology fails, the movie's we all watched will become our stories to tell. amirite?

What story would you pass on? Mine would be V for Vendetta.

A 15 minute timeout as a kid feels like an eternity. A 15 minute break at work feels like nothing. amirite?
@Mcgee0 15 minutes for recess also felt like a long time

What? How? For young me 15 minutes felt like 5 minutes!

Blasters in the Star Wars Universe are either extremely difficult to control for accuracy or poorly designed. amirite?

For the guns that Imperial stormtroopers use, it was canon for a long time that they were made by the lowest bidder (and therefore badly designed). Not sure what the reason was, but the extended universe had a reason why stormtroopers had such rotten accuracy.

We all know how a dick can enter a butthole. But the only realistic way for a dick to come out of a butthole is by entering through the vagina, penetrating the walls of the vagina and rectum and then passing down the anus. amirite?
If you're a hot girl you can drive the ugliest car in the world and no guy bats an eye but a hot guy driving a POS is a failure. amirite?
Your dick erections in the mornings is body maintenance, your brain is the owner, your heart is the mechanic. amirite?

If you're in good health you'll get random erections all day and night. Your body is always doing maintenance and ops checking itself.

The only job where its encouraged to cut corners is a wood working. amirite?

That and manufactured goods from China.

The voice in our head is always at the same volume, it's impossible to scream in our head. amirite?

I've been screaming in my head since I was 15.