And stabbing leaves of lettuce with forks after drenching them in an acidic vinaigrette is so humane.
I'm judging your insides and all I see is risk for cardiovascular disease.
Shall I give them an award? Would you like a prize? A monument perhaps?
Yes, a statue! Perfect. It shall be covered in gold leaf. Your image shall be worshiped! Beneath, the plaque shall read, "Anonymous, the man who had 57 people read his post." For CENTURIES, your image will be seen by millions -- NO! billions!-- they will weep at the feet of the statue.
Now all that's left is the pose... AH! I have it! You can spread your arms out, as if welcoming all people of the world into the arms of your omniscience. There shall be a small smirk painted on your glorious face. A wreath of olives will encircle your brow. Your trousers will have 57 pleats, so as to symbolize the 57 enlightened ones.
THIS WILL BE THE MOST GLORIOUS STATUE IN HISTORY!
You do realize that you wake up on your 18th birthday dressed completely in business attire, amirite?
I'd like the priest with tourette's better. "And all god's people say-- JOHN SMITHS WIFE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR!"
What do you think I chase vodka with?
Well I just failed the dirty mind test...
I'm not trying to be him... I just named myself after him.
Hey baby! Are you sending out gibberellins? 'Cause I'm experiencing some stem elongation.
According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me.
You’re like telophase, I admire your cleavage.
If you were a concentration gradient I'd go down on you
Best. Troll. Ever.
Thank you for making my night!!
headdesk until falls into coma
wakes up 30 years later and rereads comment
for the sake of everyone with at least half a brain cell... SHUT UP!
Cannibalism and eating your own children are found in many species...
Have any better arguments come out in the past decade or so?
Did you take it out to a nice dinner first?
Whatever happened to equality? I thought this debate ended in 1920. Let's move on people!
Considering the fact that I am a guy, the first thing I would do is go on the daytime talk show circuit and make some serious cash!