Why does Sea World have seafood restaurants? I’m halfway through a fish burger when I realize, "Oh man….I could be eating a slow learner". amirite?
@Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight. Meat/fish/chicken/anything else you eat...

And stabbing leaves of lettuce with forks after drenching them in an acidic vinaigrette is so humane.

It's sad how phobic of fat people society is today. if someone said, "I only date other white people", they'd be racist and close-minded. But if someone said "I don't date fat people", people see that as being "okay". It should NOT be "okay" to not date fat girls just because of our size, especially when it's thought to be caused by genetics or glandular problems. Instead guys should judge what's on the INSIDE, because that's what counts, amirite?

I'm judging your insides and all I see is risk for cardiovascular disease.

It’s really odd that Canada spends half as much as the US PER CAPITA in health insurance, yet EVERY SINGLE GODDAMMED INDIVIDUAL IS 100% COVERED, DOWN TO EVERY SINGLE HOMELESS BUM IN BUMFUCK, amirite?
@Well, 57 were able to.

Shall I give them an award? Would you like a prize? A monument perhaps?

Yes, a statue! Perfect. It shall be covered in gold leaf. Your image shall be worshiped! Beneath, the plaque shall read, "Anonymous, the man who had 57 people read his post." For CENTURIES, your image will be seen by millions -- NO! billions!-- they will weep at the feet of the statue.

Now all that's left is the pose... AH! I have it! You can spread your arms out, as if welcoming all people of the world into the arms of your omniscience. There shall be a small smirk painted on your glorious face. A wreath of olives will encircle your brow. Your trousers will have 57 pleats, so as to symbolize the 57 enlightened ones.


You have to be at least 17 to see an R rated movie and 18 to see an X rated movie. How much do they think you'll mature in that one year, amirite?

You do realize that you wake up on your 18th birthday dressed completely in business attire, amirite?

The best kind of Tourette's Syndrome is when you randomly say polite things; "Hey do you know what time it...YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY TODAY!" amirite?

I'd like the priest with tourette's better. "And all god's people say-- JOHN SMITHS WIFE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR!"

Saying "I drink beer because I like the taste" is a bit like saying "I watch porn because I like the story", amirite?

C-C-C-C-C-Congo breaker!

Well I just failed the dirty mind test...

Nerd jokes are actually really funny, most people just aren't smart enough to understand the cleverness of them, amirite?
@IamProbablyaNinja Ha ha okay, tell me! Btw, I didn't know you were L

I'm not trying to be him... I just named myself after him.

Hey baby! Are you sending out gibberellins? 'Cause I'm experiencing some stem elongation.

According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me.

You’re like telophase, I admire your cleavage.

If you were a concentration gradient I'd go down on you

if the earth really revolved around the sun, then wouldn't it technically always be daytime? amirite?

Best. Troll. Ever.

Thank you for making my night!!

If you're going to ask someone why they're gay, you should first ask yourself why you're straight and then you'll have your answer, amirite?
@Amish_Allosaurus Because straight is the default setting. Gay is a perverted botched up setting, that people CHOOSE to.

headdesk until falls into coma

wakes up 30 years later and rereads comment

repeats headdesk

for the sake of everyone with at least half a brain cell... SHUT UP!

Homosexuality is found in over 450 species; homophobia is found in only one. Which one seems unnatural now, amirite?

Cannibalism and eating your own children are found in many species...

Have any better arguments come out in the past decade or so?

Facebook's broken, amirite?
@musikismyremedy It won't let me fucking enter.

Did you take it out to a nice dinner first?

Seriously, why are men considered the stronger sex? Women go through everything from childbirth to hair and make up, and all the average man has to worry about is pulling out, amirite?

Whatever happened to equality? I thought this debate ended in 1920. Let's move on people!

Regardless of your opinion on abortions, barring rape or health complications, if you were pregnant right now you would not get one, amirite?

Considering the fact that I am a guy, the first thing I would do is go on the daytime talk show circuit and make some serious cash!